The Orchid in the Empty Valley, 2021.11.11.

Marx once said: Life is inseparable from friendship, but it is not easy to get true friendship.

If you want to have a long-term relationship, you always need to give in to each other and work together.

After half a lifetime, I realized that the best way for people to get along with each other generally follows a logic:

Respect is standard, reliability is high, and kindness is It's top quality.

1

Respect is standard

Schiller once said a famous saying: "He who does not respect others will not be respected by others."

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Only those who respect others can be respected.

I once read the story of the comedy master Chaplin.

During a tour, Chaplin met an audience member who had admired him for a long time.

The two chatted happily, so the audience invited Chaplin to his home.

The other party was a baseball fan. He took Chaplin to visit his baseball collection room and happily introduced various collectibles to Chaplin.

Chaplin smiled the whole time and listened carefully.

After returning home, he immediately contacted a baseball star and asked him to autograph his friend's baseball cap.

People around him felt strange about this, because Chaplin had a quiet nature and was not keen on baseball.

Chaplin said: "Although I don't like baseball, my friends do."

This reminds me of a story by the writer Bai Xianyong.

For some time, Bai Xianyong's youth version of "The Peony Pavilion" became a sensation across the country, and many people were praising and discussing this work.

But his friend Chen Wenqian was not interested at all, so he never mentioned the play in front of Chen Wenqian.

When Chen Wenqian found out later, she said with emotion: "I am very grateful for this! He can be innovative, I can be stubborn, and I don’t want to convince anyone."

Think of it A quote from the philosopher Kant:

“I respect any independent soul. Although I don’t recognize some of them, I can try to understand them as much as possible.”

In this world, Everyone's experience and position are different.

It is not necessary to seek the same, but to respect each other.

The first thing we have to do when interacting with others is to give them enough respect.

Respect other people’s interests, respect other people’s perspectives, and respect each other’s differences.

Only if you respect others, others will respect you.

Equal treatment and mutual respect are the most basic rules for interactions between people.

2

Reliability is a good match

I have heard a saying: "To really make friends, you need to find reliable people, smart people can only chat. ”

What is reliable?

Someone once made an incisive definition: there is an explanation everywhere, everything is settled, and everything has an echo.

Whether a person is worth dating and whether we can get along with him for a long time often depends on how reliable he is.

There is a cousin in my hometown, and he has a friend who opened a decoration company.

Usually, this friend always has a warm look and is like a brother to others. He often says that if anyone needs help, feel free to come to him.

Last year, my cousin needed to renovate his new house, so he naturally thought of that friend.

The other party talked eloquently and quickly came up with a design plan. When my cousin saw that it was what he wanted, he quickly signed a decoration contract with him and paid a deposit.

When the construction actually started, my cousin discovered that this was not the case at all.

Originally, we promised to ensure the quality of the materials, but in the end, all the products delivered were inferior.

My cousin quickly asked him to change it. The man promised that it would be no problem, but in fact he delayed.

What could have been completed in three months ended up being delayed for more than half a year.

My cousin also had troubles that he couldn’t tell, so he could only suffer the loss of being dumb secretly.

Unreliable people always only pay lip service, but always have nothing to do.

In life, there are many people like this who talk a lot but never implement it into actual actions.

When problems arise, they will only shirk responsibility and delay as long as they can.

When dealing with such people, not only do you have to be on tenterhooks all the time, but they also cause you to suffer unnecessary losses.

Writer Chi Li once said:

"It's reliable. It's simple to say, but complicated to implement; it sounds like a feeling, but in practice it's a principle."

True Reliable people have the ability to reassure people.

In this world, there is never a shortage of smart people, but there is a shortage of people who are reliable and down-to-earth.

For the rest of your life, you must walk with reliable and down-to-earth people.

At the same time, we must always remind ourselves to be a responsible and reliable person.

Only if you continue to be reliable will you meet friends who are as reliable as you.

3

Honesty is the best match

I have seen such a news.

My classmate got a big red envelope of 8,888 yuan as a gift, but when I got married, I received a 1,314 yuan gift in return.

The client, Xiao Liu, said that he and Chen had a very good relationship when they were in school, and they promised each other that they would receive a red envelope of 8,888 yuan when they got married.

When Chen got married two years ago, Xiao Liu sent a red envelope as promised.

He said: "This is equivalent to more than two months of my salary, but I feel that I must fulfill my promise to be worthy of our brotherhood."

In the end, it was Xiao Liu's turn. At the wedding, the other party only gave 1,314 yuan as a gift and was not even present.

So many years of friendship are not worth thousands of dollars in the end.

Xiao Liu recalled the promise they made back then and felt even more chilled when he thought of his own efforts over the years.

Since then, his relationship with Chen has gradually become estranged.

Maintaining a friendship usually requires equal efforts from both parties. If there is bias, no matter how good the relationship is, it will fade away.

As the saying goes: "It is better to be candid than to care, and to be kind is worse than shrewd."

People who really care about you will not only not take advantage of you, but will also think about you.

I have a colleague, Ah Chuan. When we first met, we once made an appointment to watch a movie together.

After watching the movie and going home, I found that he transferred 41 yuan to me, but the movie ticket was only 25 yuan.

Later he told me that he bought two Cokes before checking in, and the 16 yuan was the price he paid for the two Cokes.

After that incident, I found that this person is worth getting to know deeply. He does not take advantage of others and is very generous to his friends.

Someone said: "Appreciating a person begins with appearance, respect for talent, character, kindness, and finally character."

On the long road of life, we will You will meet many people and get to know many people.

But only by associating with people of good character will the relationship become deeper and more stable over time.

Getting along depends on fate; deep friendship depends on character.

People who are kind and have good conduct are the most worthy of our lifelong friendship.

Getting along with others is a practice.

Su Qin once wrote:

Be with whomever you feel comfortable with. Those who can enter my heart, I treat as kings, and those who do not enter my heart, I will not bother to deal with them.

In the final analysis, whether people can get along with each other depends first on whether they respect each other; whether they can have a deep friendship depends mainly on whether they are reliable; whether they can stay together for a long time ultimately depends on the person. How's the quality?

Short-term relationships depend on temperament, and lifelong relationships depend on conduct.

The journey of life is long and winding, and you must walk side by side with the right person.