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The Art of Communication between Strangers: Countering the Unreasonable Behavior of Others
The art of communication between strangers: countering the unreasonable behavior of others. In social occasions, sometimes we will meet others who are eager to grab the white, intentionally or unintentionally ridicule, dig and dig. What should we do at this time? People who have the ability to improvise can mobilize their wisdom, turn themselves into initiative and make embarrassment disappear. The enemy will block you and the water will drown you. You can choose different coping styles according to different objects.

One sentence makes people laugh.

There is a rogue. One morning, he was eating at the door when he suddenly saw an uncle groaning on a donkey. So he had the idea of fooling the old man. He shouted, hey, come and have some dinner.

Grandpa hurried down from the donkey's back and said, thank you for your kindness. I have already had breakfast.

But the gangster smiled and said, I didn't ask you, I asked the donkey. Say that finish satisfiedly smile.

The uncle was polite and tolerable, but he was insulted by the scoundrel. Suddenly, he turned around and slapped the donkey in the face. He scolded: when I went out, I asked you if there were any relatives in the city, and you categorically said no, not relatives. Why do people invite you to dinner? Bang, bang, grandpa kicked two feet on the ass of the donkey again and said, don't you dare talk nonsense again. Say that finish, turn on the donkey, and roared off.

Facing hooliganism is irritating, but scolding hooligans is detrimental to your dignity. So uncle seized the flaw of the other language and fought back hard, with considerable strength. Since you insult me with the assumption that you talk to the donkey, I will admit your assumption and mock your friendship with the donkey by teaching him a lesson.

Jump in one word.

At the scene of a football match, Xiao Li's sight was completely blocked by the tall hat of a young woman in front, so he said to the woman in front: Your hat is blocking my sight, please take it off. But women don't even look back.

Hey! Please take off your hat! Xiao Li rushed up in anger and repeated loudly, I spent 20 yuan on this seat, and I don't want to see anything!

Is it? I spent 100 on this hat, and I want everyone to have a look. The young woman replied lazily, still sitting still. It is unreasonable for her to refute others plausibly when she violates public morality.

You, you and Xiao Li are speechless with anger.

You directly accuse someone of his mistake, but he talks back to you unscrupulously. What should you do when you encounter such unreasonable behavior? Many people may be as angry as Xiao Li, but in the end, the other party still speaks plausibly and ignores your existence! So you should learn to use elegant and decent language in defense, and give full play to your wisdom and generosity.

guide to action

In life, everyone may encounter all kinds of difficulties or troubles, so don't get angry at this time, it will only hurt yourself. You should be good at taking advantage of the flaw in the other party's words and make a strong counterattack.

The general principle is to remain calm, calm, distinguish things and speak appropriately; Be outspoken and unambiguous; Clever answers must be surprising and meaningful; Too vague to be outspoken; Silence is the silence. In short, proceed from reality, look at the situation and prescribe the right medicine.

When you make a verbal counterattack against unreasonable behavior, don't be long-winded, irrelevant, and don't be soft and hard. To hit the key accurately, hit the key at once, and the counterattack must be strong enough to make the other party speechless. So, how can we hit the nail on the head when fighting back? You can refer to the following methods: (1) spoof. Imitating each other's sarcastic words and creating new statements will put them at a disadvantage, thus making them fall into the trap of being smarter than being smarter.

(2) Eliminate semantic ambiguity. A sarcastic remark deliberately gives another explanation, and this explanation is just to turn your finger and point at the other person, which is equivalent to letting the other person hit his mouth.

(3) Fight poison with poison. When the other person attacks you with malicious words, you might as well push the boat with the current and deal with a man as he deals with you.

(4)-Kill two birds with one stone. Grasp the main facts or expose the key points, and point out the weakness of the other party through comparison while getting rid of the predicament, so as to make it into trouble.

(5) Clever use of metaphor. Use the indecent things in the other person's metaphor to compare with this related thing and give them a head-on blow.

But pay special attention to one thing: when someone deliberately makes things difficult for you or humiliates you, and your feelings are hurt, don't get angry just because you are angry, let alone bite the bullet, which will fall into his trap, expand the situation and be even more unfavorable to yourself; Don't be tongue-tied, and don't blush. This will make the other person feel that you are weak and deceivable, and he is likely to ridicule you even more. The only way is to keep a cool head, control emotions, use your brain quickly, adjust your thinking, and use the art of language, especially humor.

Some questions are hard to say to be accurate and conclusive, and frankly speaking, it may be unacceptable. When encountering such questions, don't stick to the positive answer, but say something related to it to guide the other person to think deeply, or use metaphors, assumptions, flowers instead of trees, etc. , to an implicit answer, a slight hint. This can not only get rid of the questions raised, let the other party be satisfied, but also skillfully avoid the important and ignore the things. On some occasions, especially social occasions, you can be vague and ambiguous, and give vague and general answers to some unavoidable questions. If so, I don't know much about it, and so on. Sometimes you can use body language to express it a little bit to show your response without making a clear statement, which not only gets rid of the entanglement of the other party, but also leaves room for manoeuvre for yourself.

When countering the other side, you can seize the weak link of the other side to simulate or reproduce its behavior to refute, for example, you can use the logical weakness and expressive weakness of the other side to counterattack.

Communication skills between strangers: opening the "chatterbox" of strangers

Communication skills between strangers: Opening a stranger's "chatterbox" conversation should be an interaction between two people, not a performance by one person. Especially when we want to close each other's psychological distance, we need to find a breakthrough point from each other's psychological staff. When interacting with strangers, you will only be popular if you know how to find topics of interest to each other.

One sentence makes people laugh.

Harry Bellows is the regional sales manager of a nursery wholesale company. Bellows's company has been trying to win the support of a large retailer named Peter Menoski for many years, but it has no result. Finally, the President called Berros and asked him to make a trip for this purpose.

The first thing Berros did was to ask every salesperson to investigate Mr. Menoski's preferences. Everyone told him the same thing: Mr Menoski pays special attention to the pronunciation and spelling of his name. Therefore, before visiting a Menoski native, Bellows went to the library to check his ethnic origin.

After being taken to Menoski's office, Bellows said, "I have long wanted to see you, Mr. Menoski." You know I've always been interested in the racial origin of names. It's my hobby. At present, I know that your name comes from Slovak, but I can't find out what it means. I know that your initials Peter mean reliable and trustworthy, but I can't find what your last name means in the dictionary. Can you tell me?

Mr. Menoski stared at Bellows and said, How do you know I'm Slovak? How do you know I'm not Polish? All the salesmen seem to think I'm Polish!

Because of your name.

Oh, my God, you are so smart. Menoski said, I think I would like to do business with you. Later, he told Bellows that his father had no money and no friends when he arrived in the United States. I also talked about my family background, my father's motherland and my hobbies for more than an hour.

Then, Berros left with the biggest order from the nursery retailer so far. Since then, Menoski has become their stable customer.

Anyone's name is the most important thing in the world to him, so you just need to say: your name really makes me curious. I don't think I've heard it before. Can you tell me his origin and significance?

Jump in one word.

At a friend's party, Li Gang met the beautiful Miss Chen and wanted to have a deeper contact with her. The two have the following conversation: Li Gang: Have you eaten?

I ate.

Do you like swimming?

I like it.

Do you like traveling?

Not bad.

After a short conversation, the two fell into silence with nothing to say, and the scene was very embarrassing.

In a conversation, if the questions can only be answered in short language, such as yes or no, like it or not, it is difficult to keep the conversation going.

In fact, Li Gang can ask some open-ended questions. For example, if you had1100,000 yuan, what would you do with it? What do you think is the difference between men and women? What are your ideas for the future? Wait, it's easy for you to open the other person's chatterbox and let the conversation continue.

guide to action

When talking to strangers, some people are too timid to say hello. In fact, this is not a difficult task. Why don't you abandon your timidity and tell him boldly: I've always wanted to talk to you, but I'm afraid to approach you. This kind of directness will make it impossible for the other party to refuse you. This will not only allow you to start the later conversation, but also be the most efficient way of communication, saving a lot of red tape.

When you meet for the first time, you can choose to say something relaxing and interesting to relax each other. The general principles are: intimacy, intimacy and elimination of strangeness.

You can take the following ways:

(1) Identify the relationship. In Battle of Red Cliffs, the first sentence Lu Su said to Zhuge Liang was: I am a friend of Yu Zi. Yu Zi is Zhuge Liang's younger brother Zhu Gejin and Lu Su's best friend. In a short sentence, the friendship between Lu Su and Zhuge Liang was fixed. In fact, as long as any two people pay attention to each other, it is not difficult to find that both sides have relatives and friends of one kind or another.

(2) admiration. Show respect and admiration for people who meet for the first time, which is a sign of enthusiasm and courtesy. In this way, we must pay attention to: we must master the sense of proportion, be just right, don't brag, don't say things that have long been known.

(3) greetings and greetings. Use different greetings to different people first, and then greet them warmly. Greeting is the lubricant of conversation, which can build a bridge of friendship between strangers. Because we don't know each other very well when we meet for the first time, it's easy to fall into an embarrassing scene with nothing to say. At this time, we might as well say some polite words first, such as: the weather seems a little hot! Are you busy with your work these days? Is the graduation exam coming soon? You look refreshed. Is there a happy event? Are you off duty? Or what have you been up to recently? Wait a minute. Although most of these pleasantries are unimportant, it is these words that save the first meeting from awkward silence. The use of greetings is like a key to opening a chatterbox, which can help you to talk with others smoothly.

When you meet someone for the first time, it's easy to start a conversation with him if you shift your attention from yourself to the other person's interest. There are many ways to start a conversation, but in order of importance, a person's name, occupation and hobbies are the three most useful conversations.

It is also important to praise each other. You can compliment each other on clothes, looks, temperament, etc. Numerous facts have proved that everyone wants to be praised, but the key is how to find the bright spot that others can praise. If you praise blindly or endlessly without discovering the bright spots of others, the consequences will be bad.

When talking with people, we must show sincerity and eliminate the sense of distance between the two sides with a modest attitude; Otherwise, you will not only get the results you want, but even lead to worse results.

In addition, if you can skillfully use some materials of the time, place and people at that time as a topic, thus triggering a conversation, take a good look at the situation, never miss the opportunity to speak, insert the conversation at the right time, express yourself at the right time, and let the other party fully understand yourself, you will definitely get closer to the other party.

The art of speaking between strangers: don't "gild the lily" when talking.

The art of speaking between strangers: don't "gild the lily" when talking. Qin Zi once asked his teacher Mozi: Will you talk more? Mozi replied: frogs croak day and night, which makes people thirsty, but they are not liked. And the chickens crow on time at dawn in the morning, and the world is not woken up! What are the benefits of talking more? That's what happened.

One sentence makes people laugh.

Pop star Wang Leehom and famous pianist Lang Lang once performed on the same stage in Hong Kong. After they were not familiar with each other, Wang Leehom thought that Lang Lang should be a taciturn literary youth. Unexpectedly, Lang Lang was silent after the meeting: Leehom, you are a descendant of the dragon, and I am a descendant of the wolf (Lang). This prologue immediately brought the two young people closer together.

With this sentence, Lang Lang left a good impression on Wang Leehom. Wang Leehom said on many occasions: Lang Lang is the most easygoing and enthusiastic classical musician I have ever met!

Between two strangers, an unusual opening remark will make the conversation unique and impressive.

Jump in one word.

On the bus, a young migrant worker carrying a big bag was holding a map in his hand, and his face was full of confusion. At first glance, he comes from other places. He hesitated for a moment and asked the conductor, Master, where should I get off?

The conductor said impatiently, you are going in the wrong direction. You should go back by bus. The text should be here, but the conductor added, I can't read the map. What else can I do?

Of course the foreign boy heard it, but he just smiled and got ready to get off. However, the old man sitting on the side couldn't listen any longer. He glanced at the conductor, then turned to the young man in the field and said, actually, you don't have to sit in the back. Sit at the first few stops and then change trains. The old man's words ended here, but he just added: the education level of young people now is really poor!

With so many young people in the car, this sentence really hit a wide range. A young girl standing next to her uncle couldn't help it: Grandpa, is this wrong? After all, uneducated people are a minority! The girl didn't say anything here, but she couldn't help adding: Many people your age look very kind, but their bellies are full of bad water!

At this time, a middle-aged woman connected again: how can you, a young girl, talk to the old man like this? After all, be polite! To say that the middle-aged woman is right to criticize you, she added: Look at your clothes, it is estimated that your parents can't control you if they want, and you are dressed like a demon. When you say that, it's like throwing a bomb. The girl couldn't swallow this tone naturally, and the car suddenly exploded like a pot.

At this time, the bus arrived at the station and opened the door. The conductor said, let's not argue. Get off the bus if you need to, and don't delay the business. However, he did not forget to add: If you really want to make trouble, get out of the car and make trouble. Are you tired?

If all the people on the bus give up their last words, I believe this war of words will never happen. In fact, many times, because of the last sentence, two people who were originally at peace became opponents and enemies, and a conversation became a conflict. Remember, once you say something, you can't take it back. We advocate good eloquence, but remind you to control your words at all times. If you talk too much, you lose. Don't pay a heavy price for being fast.

guide to action

Misfortune comes from the mouth, which makes people lose their reputation, and joy comes from the heart, which makes people add luster. Sometimes the speaker means no harm, just likes to speak quickly for a while, but for the listener, it may hurt him. It is better to keep your mouth shut and make people doubt your shallowness than to prove your shallowness from the beginning. This is a famous saying worth remembering.

In an increasingly diversified society, small misunderstandings or small frictions between people are normal. Broad-minded people will forget this, but not everyone has such a mind. In interpersonal communication, we can often see that some quarrels stem from trivial matters, but because one party talks quickly for a while, it often turns trivial matters into major events or even disasters.

People who love to chat for a while are mostly impetuous and used to blaming others. In their spiritual world, there is no word forbearance. As long as you are unhappy, curse things and people to relieve your troubles, that's all. But they didn't expect that their anxiety was vented. How does the scolded person feel?

Just as people will erect their pores after sneezing, showing off their breath for a while is actually a way to vent their physical pleasure.

The difference is that the pleasure of sneezing is purely physiological, while speaking fast is mixed with strong psychological color.

In this sense, to overcome the problem of quick talking, we must work hard from the usual self-psychological adjustment.

First of all, we should remember a principle that we should talk as little as possible in any place and occasion. Silence is worth advocating. If you have to say it, you should pay attention to the content, meaning, wording, tone, posture, and what to say on what occasion and how to say it properly.

Secondly, don't talk nonsense without knowing the inside story. There are no perfect people in the world, so don't talk about their shortcomings and don't expose their privacy. First of all, you should understand that your understanding of others is not necessarily reliable, and there may be hidden reasons you don't know. If you rashly publicize the one-sided phenomenon you know, you will inevitably confuse right and wrong. By the time the truth came out, it was over.

Say the benefits of bad people, others think you are ignorant at most; It is immoral to speak ill of good people. Therefore, when learning the art of speaking, we must first learn to talk less. Of course, you can only say less, not all. Speaking well without saying much is the art of eloquence.

Talking skills between strangers: avoid embarrassing others when talking.

Talking skills between strangers: avoid embarrassing others by talking. Everyone's heart has a fortress of self-esteem. Remember to leave steps for people everywhere to avoid embarrassing others, in order to achieve harmony in interpersonal relationships. If you can save each other in some embarrassing situations with clever words, he will appreciate you.

One sentence makes people laugh.

A 17-year-old girl easily found the opportunity to work as a salesgirl in a high-end jewelry store. The day before Christmas, a middle-aged man came to the shop, wearing shabby clothes, with a sad face and eyes fixed on those high-end jewelry.

At this time, the girl answered a phone call and accidentally knocked over a plate. All six diamond rings in the plate fell to the ground at once. She hurried to pick it up, only to find that there were only five left. She looked up and found that the middle-aged man was walking out in a hurry. She suddenly realized that he had taken the ring.

When the man was about to leave the door, the girl said softly, I'm sorry, sir.

The man turned around and they looked at each other for dozens of seconds. When a man speaks, the muscles on his face twitch.

Sir, this is my first job, and it is difficult to find a job now. I think you know it well, don't you? The girl said gloomily.

The man looked at the girl for a long time and smiled: Yes, it's hard to find a job. But I believe you will do well here. May I bless you? He stepped forward and held out his hand to the girl. Their hands were clasped together.

Thank you for your blessing. I wish you luck, too! The girl said. Looking at the man's far-away back, she opened her hand, and it was a shiny diamond ring.

The girl gave the man a step, thus saving the ring and her job, which made a theft case easily solved.

Jump in one word.

Miss Zhang asked the cosmetics counter lady: Do you have any eyeliner that won't stain your eyelids?

The salesman said coldly, there is no such pen, but you are old, and your eyelids hang down and dirty your lower eyelids.

Miss Zhang was shocked and went home sadly. Of course, she didn't buy any cosmetics in that store, and she never came again.

What the salesgirl said may be true, but it hurts the customer greatly, and she has a bad attitude and is too arrogant to think of the customer at all. So irresponsibly hurt the customer's heart. In fact, it is herself who suffers the most.

guide to action

Nowadays, many people boast that they are outspoken. Even if there are contradictions because of improper words, they often excuse themselves on the grounds that I just like telling the truth. When a person wielding the whip of truth breaks into the inner realm that the other party doesn't want others to enter, it will inevitably lead to strong resistance from the other party.

Wen Qi went to a friend's wedding. During the dinner, a young man used the idiom "childhood friends" when explaining the relationship between the bride and groom. But in order to boast of his erudition, he also read this poem: When you, my love, ride a bamboo horse, run in circles and throw your childhood. This poem is right, but he misremembered the author. It was originally written by Li Bai, but he said it was Li Qingzhao, a poetess in the Song Dynasty.

Wen Qi graduated from Chinese Department, full of youthful spirit. Seeing this, she rudely corrected the man's mistake in front of everyone. But instead of saying nothing, this man insisted on his opinion even more.

So, the two men began to argue and refused to give in. At this moment, Wen Qi saw his university teacher sitting at another table and said happily, Let's not argue, let's find an expert to judge.

Not to be outdone, the young man said, "If you judge, you will judge. Who is afraid of who?".

Finally, the two of them agreed to let the university teachers in Wen Qi judge the reasons. Wen Qi hopes that the teacher can tell the young man that you are wrong. The author of this poem is Li Bai, not Li Qingzhao.

Unexpectedly, the teacher said to Wen Qi: You are wrong, and that gentleman is right.

Wen Qi was very embarrassed about this. She didn't believe that such a learned teacher would mistake the author of this poem. After she went back, she went to see the teacher again. Before she could speak, the teacher said, You were right just now. That poem was indeed written by Li Bai.

JiFen listened to a little confused, wondering to ask, then how did you say it was Li Qingzhao just now?

The teacher looked at her and said gently, everything you said is right, but we are all guests, so why embarrass people on that occasion? He didn't ask your opinion, but expressed his own opinion. Right or wrong has nothing to do with you. What good is it for you to argue with him about who is right and who is wrong? Don't forget this when working in society, and learn not to embarrass others.

Yes, never take all questions too seriously, it will only arouse others' disgust.

It is very clever to consider other people's feelings at any time and give them a step down. It reflects your tolerance and understanding of others and can win friends for yourself. Remember, giving others face is giving yourself face, and considering others' feelings is giving yourself a world.