Campus comedy sketch script

"Father and Son" by Qizhi Hou Yaohua is very interesting. You can adapt it

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Hou: Tell everyone I was so bitter, and people said: Are you still unhappy? You don't know that it's easy to take care of adults' affairs now, but you're worried about this child's affairs.

You said that when we were children, the adults paid the tuition fees and knew how to study. Now, for this child, we hired someone to study for us. What I'm telling you is the truth, don't take it seriously. Look at our child, who is just ten years old this year and has taken countless nutritional supplements. He was just ten years old and now he is as tall as me. People say: If I shave, it’s him, if he grows a beard, it’s me. My IQ is not bad, IQ, sometimes, the teacher will praise me. Well, two days ago, the teacher said, let me pick up a word and tell a story. I just learned the story "Waiting for Life" and it was a great story for our children to tell. Our children said that there was a monkey charmer who played with this monkey and trained it, and used this monkey to make money every day. As a result, the monkey lost sight of it one day and ran away. I searched around the world for this monkey, but I couldn't find it. Wherever he lost it in the end, get a stool and wait there. Everyone said: Stop looking for it and get a small one to train. no. Knowledgeable people have said: As long as you set a goal in life, you will silently "wait for the monkey all your life". The teacher also applauded, and the teacher also praised our children. child prodigy! They all say that our child is a child prodigy, but no, I am his father, and they all call me Father.

Our child got out of school at 12 noon and did not come home at 12:30. The teacher asked the teacher to stay until after 9 o'clock every night. You see, it's one o'clock and we're not home yet.

(Qizhi appears)

Hou: Are you back?

Qi: Hum. .

Hou: Look at our child. Our prodigy is back. come over. . Come over come over.

Qi: Don’t hit me?

Hou: I won’t hit you, I won’t hit you. Isn’t this 2006? We change the regulations, persuade and educate, come and go, go back and forth, look at this! Do you know what time it is?

Qi: I know

Hou: Why did you come back late again?

Qi: I made a mistake

Hou: Don’t tell me, didn’t you listen well in class?

Qi: No

Hou: Didn’t you finish your homework?

Qi: No

Hou: Did you fight with your classmates again?

Qi: No

Hou: What are you doing?

Qi: Just made a little mistake

Hou: Little mistake, what? explain!

Qi: After class, I organized a few classmates and detained the teacher in the classroom. I have to ask him why I am the last in the class.

Hou: I am not fighting for our children. We are not fighting for our children. Our children know that they have made progress. He knows to ask the teacher why we are the last one.

Tell everyone, why are we ranked last?

Qi: The teacher said that the person who came last in the exam last semester transferred to another school this year.

Hou: The problem is that this matter is a parent-teacher meeting. I didn’t go to the parent-teacher meeting, how could something happen to him?

Qi: You can’t hold a parent-teacher meeting

Hou: Why should I? I'm your dad, why can't I go to the parent-teacher meeting?

Qi: Ordinarily, the neighbors would have objections when you held the parent-teacher meeting.

Hou: What opinions do you have?

Qi: After we came back, there must have been wolves howling in the middle of the night, mixed male and female doubles, which could be heard throughout Haidian District. Neighbors called 110 and said that our house had chickens crowing in the middle of the night

Hou: Then Am I not good for you? Besides, hey, I didn’t go to that parent-teacher meeting, who did?

Qi: I'm afraid you're too busy at work

Hou: I know I'm a little filial

Qi: I spent fifty yuan to hire a substitute in the labor market .

Hou: I’m bored. Is there anyone who looks like me in the labor market?

Qi: Hehehe, dad, our classmates have all said that you are easy to find with your appearance.

Hou: What?

Strange: The orangutan in the zoo has its hair plucked and it’s you!

Hou: OK! Let’s not talk about it today. Let’s talk about yesterday. Why did the teacher keep you here yesterday?

Qi: Yesterday the teacher asked me to fill in a form.

Hou: Yes, I asked about your age.

Qi: Yeah.

Hou: What about you? You have this little cleverness. If you fill out a form, he won’t be able to fill it out. He won’t be able to fill it out anymore. I don’t know how old I am, what’s going on, tell me!

Qi: Can you blame me?

Hou: Why don’t I blame you? Don’t know how old you are?

Qi: Blame me? Blame me? Every time you take me to the sauna, you tell people that I am eight years old.

Hou: Yes, there is no charge for children under eight years old!

Qi: Then when I go to a nightclub, what do you think of me as seventeen?

Hou: Nonsense, didn’t you see the sign at the door? No one under 16 years old can enter the nightclub. The problem is that when the teacher asks you how old you are, you have to tell the truth.

Qi: I told the truth. I said, teacher, are you asking me how old I am when I enter a nightclub or how old I am when I take a sauna? I was eight years old when I went to the sauna, and I was seventeen when I entered the nightclub!

Hou: Then tell everyone why the teacher left you behind yesterday.

Qi: Yesterday, the teacher asked a question,

Hou: Yes, ask a question, just ask a question,

Qi: You said you could ask this Problem?

Hou: What?

Qi: He asked who the two key figures in the Xi'an Incident were.

Hou: What did you say?

Qi: I’m talking about Jacky Cheung and Aaron Kwok. Hit me again

Hou: It's shameless. You still say that in front of these people. Then the two important figures in the Xi'an Incident, are they Jacky Cheung and Aaron Kwok?

Qi: Who do you think you are?

Hou: One is Hou Yaowen and the other is Shi Fukuan.

Qi: Dad, our teacher said, like father, like son.

Hou: Are you complimenting me?

Qi: When I praise you about Hou Yaowen and Shi Fukuan, my teacher is talking about Yang Hucheng and Zhang Xueliang.

Hou: Those two people? I didn't understand it, so tell everyone, the teacher asked you to make a sentence, then the truth is revealed, how did you make it? You said

Qi: I'm right, you have to say

Hou: What, you say, tell everyone, you let everyone judge, I'm going to be wrong , I will review it for you later

Qi: Let me make a sentence out of saying that the truth has come out. I will say that our uncle Bai next door has two sons, named Dabai and Xiaobai. One day we saw Xiaobai, Everyone said in unison: "You look really like Dabai."

Qi: Hit me again

Hou: Shameless on you. Look at what I spent this little money on.

Odd: Old fight.

Hou: Don’t tell me, just leave it like this. Sometimes it’s okay to write an essay or something.

Qi: It’s okay? The teacher said he failed

Hou: You can’t even write about holidays?

Qi: Failed!

Hou: Tell me how rich your content is during this holiday. For example, yes, I get angry when I think of it. Also, I go to this bar. I met you there a week ago 3 Reply

Qi: That’s not right

Hou: What’s the matter?

Qi: I saw you 4 times.

Hou: Maybe I drank too much

Qi: I just wrote about the holidays, I went to the bar,

Hou: I’m not telling you the question Have you? For this bar, don’t write about bar. If you write about bar, can the teacher let you pass? You can change it from a bar to a book.

Qi: It should be written into a book, but I still failed.

Hou: Just read it to everyone.

Qi: I said: I came to the bookstore during the holiday.

Hou: How nice it sounds.

Qi: First, I finished three books in a row, but I felt that it was not enough, so I swept away all the remaining books.

Hou: What happened next?

Qi: At this critical moment, I saw my dad walking over. He was holding on to the wall, shaking his body and said to me, buddy, this house is shaking, it’s a bit noisy. Was there an earthquake? I told him: Brother, he looks familiar.

Hou: I know him too.

Qi: Isn’t this an earthquake?

Hou: Is this?

Qi: This is a tsunami.

Hou: It doesn’t matter, let’s continue studying

Qi: Continue reading

Hou: Crab Yi Ya

Odd: It has eight claws and is pointed at both ends. It is so big. .

Qi: Hit again

Hou: Shameless.

Hou: You said I spent the money on it. Is this a child? That day, he told me with a shy face: Dad, I can write poetry.

Qi: Yes, I can write poetry.

Hou: Who do you rely on to write poetry? You rely on me.

Hou: A few days ago, I visited a friend from Henan. I was afraid that people wouldn't be able to find me, so I left a note for them at home, a Tang poem I wrote: If a friend from Luoyang asked me, he would say I was in Donglaishun. Come on, read the poem you made to everyone.

I wrote a poem called, In My Heart

Hou: OK,

Qi: I recite it

Hou: Recite it

Hou: Take advantage of the opportunity to understand

Qi: Ah!

Hou: Wait a minute, here, good poems are written with "ah" in them all. Once "ah" is in the front, everything goes smoothly afterward. Nian

Qi: Ah! In my heart

Hou: OK

Qi: Dad is the most vicious

Hou: Nonsense, that’s my biological father.

Qi: I don’t have knowledge, so I pretend to understand.