Educational methods for parents of fighting children.
1, teach your baby to "fight violence with violence"
Scene review: Dad rushed to the kindergarten with joy, but when he saw it, he found a red scratch on his little face. Dad is really distressed. Later the teacher explained that Diandian was playing with another little boy. Later, the little boy scratched his face because he was fighting for toys. Dad felt very angry and also "educated" the baby not to suffer next time, but to fight back bravely and knock the other side down so as not to be bullied!
It is understandable that parents love their children and don't want their children to be bullied, but it is absolutely incorrect to "fight back when you are beaten". Parents scolded each other's children fiercely, and even instigated their children to answer blows with blows next time. Children will think that parents encourage this kind of behavior, and violence is the best way to solve the problem. It is easy for children to become arrogant, irritable and even violent, so it is difficult for children to establish friendly and harmonious interpersonal relationships with others.
The correct way: when a child is beaten and bullied, parents should first calm their heads, and they should not lose their minds and be furious because their baby is bullied. Parents can teach their children some coping skills. When your child is bullied, encourage the child to express his position quickly, positively and accurately, tell the other party "don't hit me", or report to the teacher immediately for help. Parents can also actively communicate with other parents or teachers to prevent similar things from happening again.
2. Make a hullabaloo about to the teacher
Scene review: Mom saw Lingling's eyes were red and she was in tears. When she asked why, she realized that Lingling's beloved doll was taken away and damaged by other little girls. Lingling scolded each other angrily and was scratched by the child. Mother was very angry at the teacher's indifference and had to talk to the teacher about it. It is recommended to pay attention to WeChat official account: Chen1252139371,the elite learning circle of education alliance!
When the teacher found out, he immediately stopped the beating and explained it to the parents when they picked up their children from school. Teachers' sincere attitude deserves parents' understanding. However, some parents are too picky. They loudly criticize the teacher's mistakes in front of their children and other parents, and even complain to the director. On the one hand, it will cause the gap between parents and teachers and intensify contradictions; On the other hand, the teacher is the closest person to the child in kindergarten, and this behavior of parents will make the child have a crisis of trust in the teacher and lose his sense of security, thus affecting his life and study in kindergarten.
The correct way: parents should realize that most teachers are competent and trustworthy. For the problem of children fighting, parents can communicate with teachers more and let teachers pay more attention to children's activities. Parents can also encourage their children to establish a trust relationship with their teachers, telling them that "when others rob your toys, you can tell the teachers to let the teachers uphold justice", and at the same time let them learn to be modest and share, and not to hit people. "If someone comes to scratch your face, you can block it with your arm" and teach your children some ways to protect themselves.
3. Ask the beaten baby why.
Scene Review: When picking up Bao Er from school, the teacher told Ma Bao that the child and a little boy named Kobayashi had a fight because of some words. Although the teacher stopped him in time, Bao Er was pushed to the ground. Mother was very angry when she heard this. The next day, she had to find Xiao Lin and ask him face to face why he played Bao Er. Xiao Lin was frightened by Ma Bao's imposing manner, but she just cried and couldn't speak.
Some parents are angry with the beating baby, forcing him to ask the reason. This practice is actually a kind of "cold violence". Although it is wrong to hit a baby, you want him to know the mistake, but in fact, babies often hit people because they are young and can't correctly express their feelings and needs, so they win their own interests in an inappropriate way. There is no need for parents to classify it as a moral level and make a fuss about children.
The correct way: parents should treat the "bully" who tickles their baby equally with other babies. If possible, parents will stay out of the way, pay attention but not interfere, let the children negotiate with other children in their own circles independently, so that the baby will gradually realize the solution, while parents only serve as the spiritual backing of the child, give him support and courage, and let the baby know that it is not his fault to be beaten, and the mother will stand on the baby's side.
Step 4 Ignore other parents
Scene Review: Xiao Xin and Xiao Zhi are good friends, but at a small party, two children quarreled over watching cartoons and then got into a fight. Both parents are also very kind to each other, but later they all think that the other child is too generous, so that no one is willing to take the initiative to admit his mistake. My parents are estranged because of this little thing, and now they don't say hello even if they meet after school.
I believe that some parents are familiar with each other and even get together privately for family gatherings because they often pick up and drop off their children. Don't be nervous about family communication because of a fight between babies, so it's a pity that parents ignore each other! In fact, the baby is the least bitter. One minute, the children are fighting and blushing, but the next minute they may have a good time. So, why should parents be too serious? It is recommended to pay attention to WeChat official account: Chen1252139371,the elite learning circle of education alliance!
The correct way: If children fight in kindergarten, parents of both sides don't have to be too serious, and they can even take a non-interference attitude and let the teacher help them solve it themselves. Parents can also create some conditions for their babies to play together and see how they cooperate. If there is a dispute between babies, parents can first see if they can solve it themselves. If the two babies are in a hurry, parents can come forward to mediate and tell them the correct way.
Listen to the child's heart, let him express his feelings and thoughts, and help the child analyze each other's behavior. If the other person is unintentional, guide the baby to learn tolerance and understanding, and tell the baby that he is unintentional; If the other person behaves badly and deliberately provokes, parents should encourage the baby to face it bravely, or ask people around him for help, telling the baby that the more you are afraid of him, the more he will bully you.
Children fight, parents solve it.
The first trick is to let the children understand that "being bullied is not a useless performance, and everyone will encounter it." When the child is crying, you should immediately stop your work and kneel down and hold the child gently, so that the child can realize his importance and eliminate his anxiety. At the same time, I feel the same way about my children: "Mom knows that you are very sad and wronged." Don't ask what's going on until the child's mood calms down. After determining that the child has been wronged, give comfort and let the child know that being bullied is not because he is useless. Everyone may encounter it, so that the child can get rid of discouragement and self-denial as soon as possible.
The second trick is that chess is not a real gentleman. When parents find that their children have communication conflicts, they should first keep calm. As long as there is no danger, they will just be a calm bystander, not interfere, not stand up for their children, and let them handle their own problems. We can't stay with the children all the time. Training children's ability to resolve conflicts within your control is the best way to win.
The third measure is to teach children how to protect themselves in case of conflict and ask for help. Want to let children learn to protect their deep internal forces, but not overnight, parents should cultivate awareness in daily life. Children will not suffer by relying on a strong body, and a confident personality that is not angry and arrogant can deter evil forces at critical moments. There is a famous saying in the Jianghu that every child should learn to make friends and have his own "circle" when going out. When you have a strong "circle of friends", no matter how naughty your classmates are, you should think twice about the deterrence of your "circle" before starting a fight with you. If it still can't be solved, there is only one last step, asking teachers and parents for help.
How to train children to be children who don't fight?
1, in order to understand the real reason, from the observation of children's inner world.
First of all, we must judge the cause of the dispute. If this behavior is the first time, it is necessary to recall whether the child's life has changed recently. It is also necessary to observe whether children will have disputes with all their friends, or only with specific friends and specific relatives. It is also a good way to observe whether children are hungry, stressed and tired, and ask people and teachers around them.
2. Make rules for fighting
Make a rule of "no loud noise" among family members at ordinary times. If someone's voice starts to rise gradually, shout "pause" to them and get into the habit of stopping all actions as long as you shout "pause". Even a one-second pause will play a decisive role in stopping the fight. A temporary pause is more effective than emphasizing it a hundred times.
3. Teach children to use me as the subject of sentences.
Most negative words begin with "you" If this language habit is formed, it is easy to put all the blame on the other party when there is a dispute. If you want children to develop the habit of not blaming each other and thinking from each other's standpoint, you should practice using "I" instead of "you". If you develop such a habit of speaking, it will reduce the occurrence of children blaming each other, thus reducing the occurrence of disputes. In this way, you can clearly convey to each other what behaviors you are dissatisfied with.
4. Help children see things from another angle.
Children are often self-centered and ignore other people's ideas. At this time, if xx does this, what will other children think? Did you hear what xx said? "What would xx want you to do?" And other ways to help children learn to think from each other's standpoint.
5. Ask the reason of the quarrel directly and concretely.
Give children time to think about the root cause of the fight. At this time, ask something like "How did you quarrel?" Waiting will confuse children and often hear the answer of "I don't know". Therefore, at this time, it is better to ask "What are you fighting for?" "What did the friend say?" "What did you do?" "Then what should I do?" Might as well wait for the road.
1. The harm of parents' violence education to children
2. What is the correct way to educate children?
3. Experience of excellent parents in educating their children
4. Experience of how parents educate their children
5. How do parents educate their children?