At the age of 20, you spend your time studying and most of your time in the library, so some people say that you are unsociable.

At the age of 30, don't refuse the invitation of colleagues and try to adapt to other people's habits. They say you are too hypocritical.

When I am 40 years old, I want to enjoy my life. I always plan a trip with my family and am told that it will cost money.

It took me half my life to find that I not only lived too tired, but also lost my freedom.

In the end, as Milan Kundera said.

Giving yourself to other people's eyes for evaluation is the root of anxiety and doubt.

You are tired only because you care too much about yourself in other people's mouth.

0 1。

There is a kind of fatigue, called living in the evaluation of others.

Recently, I came across Professor Chen Guo, a network celebrity of Fudan University, and I was deeply touched.

She mentioned a point in her speech.

No matter what life you lead, there are always people who don't like you. What is the conclusion? The conclusion is that you live to be yourself, like you or not. But you'll like yourself better.

Someone asked Chen Guo: Which is more important, others like you or yourself?

Her answer is: both are very important. However, if you can't do both, it is more important to like yourself.

Recognizing this view, after all, it is not so easy for people to live and be liked all their lives.

No matter how well you do it, you can hear the voice of doubt and get all kinds of negation.

Cai Kangyong made a test in his speech. First, he made the audience who had been disappointed with their marriage for a year stand up, and then several people stood up.

So this month, people who have retirement ideas please come forward, one by one.

Brush your circle of friends more than 5 times a day, please stand up, there are many people standing up.

After he said a few options, the scene was crowded with people.

Then he said: We are all women. Maybe mothers, daughters, employees, bosses and wives have played so many roles. It's really crowded, which makes us lose ourselves.

At the end of his speech, he said: the happiness of life is actually very simple. You can say no if you don't like it.

People are tired because some people choose that we can't help each other, some people never like you, and your hard work has no result.

No one can make every identity so perfect, so if you care too much about other people's comments, you will lead a distorted life.

A life controlled by the expectations around you, like a puppet, can never have its own soul.

The best state of life should be as the writer said.

Love living around people who like you. See the world with people who don't like you. It's that simple.

02。 The hyperbolic cosine of.

The most comfortable relationship between people does not need to please.

What is the simplest mode of interpersonal communication?

In other words, you should always know that 90% people around you will be angry.

Last weekend, I went to the hospital to visit my cousin who had just finished surgery, and her health gradually improved.

For a long time, in the cognition of family and friends, my cousin is a cautious person about life.

Perhaps because of her personality, she was often bullied by her classmates at school, but she put up with it and said it was just a small commotion between good friends.

The communication mode between her and her friends is that she often buys many snacks and holiday gifts for others. When she wanted to help at the critical moment, no one answered the phone.

After work, she scrimped and saved. When someone asked her for money, she lent it to someone else without saying anything.

When she was in a hurry to spend money, she was afraid of paying back the money, and she was always afraid of breaking up this relationship.

I thought I would be happy if I got married, but because she habitually surrounded housework, laundry and cooking, my husband took it for granted after a long time.

She is always unhappy because she is afraid of losing.

It was not until her husband laughed at Nuo Nuo's tiredness in front of colleagues that she realized that blind love could not change her heart.

American sociologists say that interpersonal relationship is essentially an exchange relationship.

It seems that life is always like this. Angry people are good-tempered, and people who understand others always understand what others mean, but no one cares.

One day you will understand that a smile is not necessarily a hug, but also an unbridled injury.

The world doesn't have so much heart, and only likes people of all sizes. Considering the feelings of others, it is bound to be uncomfortable.

As Dong Jing, the debater of Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio, said: Su Yan went to work today, but she said she was ugly, and she had to put on makeup when she went to work tomorrow. She said goblins, don't please people around you, they are really hard to please.

Comfort in the second half of life is more important than anything else.

The most comfortable relationship between people should be mutual respect rather than flattery.

03。

Never explain yourself to others.

I've heard classic stories.

A disciple asked Master for advice: Master, some people say I am a genius, others say I am a fool. What do you think?

How do you feel about yourself? The master asked.

Young people don't know how to answer, at a loss.

Master said: For example, a kilo of rice is wine in the eyes of a hotel, but it is life-saving rice in the eyes of beggars. Rice is still that kind of rice

When the young man heard this sentence, he suddenly realized.

The value of your life depends on what you think of yourself, not what others think.

Being misunderstood and not understood is the normal state of life and the fate of the expresser.

I like the movie Let the Bullets Fly very much. Every time I read Lao Liu's story, I feel very helpless.

In the restaurant, Lao Liu ate two bowls of bean jelly and gave only one bowl of money.

There are more and more audiences, and Lao Liu is getting more and more anxious. He won't defend himself, but he doesn't want to bear such a charge.

Finally, he cut open his belly with a knife and took out a bowl of bean jelly, proving to everyone that bean jelly is not just a bowl.

The guests found no interest and left one by one, leaving only six people in a pool of blood.

People who always come to visit are spectators, and a few people want to know the truth.

Too many explanations are in vain, too many proofs, leaving only cool thin.

Sometimes, in the face of others' doubts and denials, silence is the most powerful response.

The writer Mr. Liu wrote such words.

No personality in the world can avoid provoking anger. Speaking will provoke villains, speaking tactfully will anger people, the elderly will be angry with principled people, and smooth people will be angry with smart people.

Since people are angry, be yourself, be yourself, and be not afraid of making people angry. Because you can bear the consequences.

People who know you are self-evident, and those who don't know you don't have to argue and never explain to others.

The highest lifestyle in life is:

Don't always explain, don't always like, don't be humble all your life.

Don't wronged yourself, someone appreciates your confidence and treats yourself well, and the world will treat you gently.

Nichinohara, the first Japanese medical advocate, clearly expressed his philosophical views.

Born as a man, you can live your true self at three o'clock.

First, I don't care what's outside.

Second, not to be judged by others.

Third, let nature take its course and don't force it.

In the second half, don't be happy on purpose, let go of the burden of making a good impression, of course, your mood will become calmer and calmer, and you can finally stop being victimized.

I like it. I hope you will always follow your heart and have a wonderful performance.