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How to provide guidance for middle school students in heterosexual relationships

Counseling strategies

(1) Unify ideological understanding and update teachers’ concepts.

1. The phenomenon and causes of heterosexual interactions among middle school students have given all teachers a sobering shot. This forces us to re-examine and reflect on our educational behavior and to start from a new perspective. Let’s look at and deal with the problem of heterosexual interactions among middle school students: ① The times have advanced, society has opened up, and the subjective consciousness of middle school students has greatly awakened. We must adapt to this trend, and we must not use feudal reading glasses to view the interpersonal interactions of the new generation. We cannot use utilitarian weights to weigh the pros and cons of student interactions. ② Our students must adapt to the Chinese social environment after China’s accession to the WTO, and our children must adapt to the changed reality of Chinese marriage and family. Democracy and respect are the essence of modern education. We cannot stop at temporary utilitarian goals such as high scores and high school entrance exams, but must be responsible for students' lifelong happiness and their all-round development.

2. Under the leadership of Principal Ma Jianjun and Director Zhao Yingqing, a member of this research group, our school uses the theoretical study time every Saturday afternoon to hold a meeting of all faculty and staff, with the theme of "Mental Health Education in Junior High Schools" (Editor-in-Chief Zhang Chengfen) ) as a reader, relying on network materials to guide teachers in learning advanced educational concepts. After a month of theoretical study, teachers' concepts have been updated. When encountering problems, almost all teachers can start from the perspective of respecting and caring for students, and treat students in a non-exaggerated, non-public manner. Active guidance provides a healthy, correct and tolerant public opinion guide for middle school students' heterosexual interactions.

3. Incorporate the teacher ethics education activities advocated by the County Education Committee to guide teachers to improve their professional ethics. On the one hand, we quantify points for each teacher through internal teacher democratic evaluation, student discussions, and parent discussions, as an important way to evaluate and restrict teachers’ professional ethics; on the other hand, we use professional ethics learning materials and business designated by the County Education Commission. The learning materials provide training for teachers and improve their moral awareness and professional level.

(2) Communication between home and school, and correct treatment of heterosexual interactions among middle school students. Led by the Political and Education Office and assisted by the Education Department, we organized a parent meeting to lead parents to improve their family education capabilities: We know that when faced with the issue of heterosexual interactions among middle school students, parents’ passive attitude will obviously make students confused, but blindly Ground interference and restrictions will also increase students' anxiety and rebellious emotions. Therefore, at the parent-teacher meeting, we clearly stated that parents should adopt a neutral attitude towards the issue of heterosexual interactions among middle school students and teach their children to grow independently. Of course, autonomy does not mean indulgence. Parents' guidance on middle school students' heterosexual interactions must be carried out step by step. Faced with the heterosexual interaction problems that have arisen among middle school students, parents must first adopt an accepting attitude, listen carefully to their children's feelings, and let their children slowly accept the influence of their parents in a subtle way; in addition, parents must also work hard to build a good parent-child relationship and Smooth communication channels often create opportunities for fathers and children, mothers and daughters to communicate closely. Listen more and understand more about children's voices. Do not take inappropriate behaviors such as peeking at children's diaries and stalking children. At the same time, you can also do more When your child is happy, talk to your child about your experiences when you were young, and tell your child that there must be more than one opposite-sex student who likes you. If you focus on only one opposite-sex student at this time, it may affect your relationship with other classmates. A good relationship will change the teacher's view of oneself, which is not worth the gain. Encourage children to have more contact with other students of the opposite sex. Regularly discuss with children the performance and characteristics of other students in the class, and let children evaluate the students they admire and love. Cultivate children's correct aesthetic awareness...Under the unified requirements of the school, the vast majority of parents can correctly treat and handle the issues of heterosexual interactions of middle school students in accordance with the school's requirements, ensuring a democratic and healthy family education atmosphere to promote the formation of sound personality of middle school students. .

(3) Use a variety of counseling methods to guide students to have normal interactions with the opposite sex.

1. Group counseling guides students to help others and help themselves.

With the help and support of Director Zhang Rui of the County Education Department, members of this research group *** discussed a group tutoring strategy based on the "experience-mutual assistance" model for all students of Yushan Middle School Implement communication counseling. The specific operation is as follows: members of this research group act as counselors, setting up situations for students’ existing or possible opposite-sex interactions, and then students role-play, and jointly discuss and solve problems that arise in the simulated situations; for students who cannot do it on their own To solve the problem of not wanting to go to the psychological counseling room for consultation, we ask students to write their problems anonymously on pieces of paper. Then the tutors collect and concentrate all the problems, guide the students to discuss, and discuss solutions together. In the process of group counseling, on the one hand, the hypothetical situation is set by the teacher according to the actual situation of the students, which does not affect the students' personal privacy, protects the students' self-esteem, improves the students' psychological defense ability, and enables the students to help others while realizing Self-help; on the other hand, because this tutoring method is conducted in a group, it eliminates students' concerns caused by distrust of tutors, thus giving students a full sense of security and being warmly welcomed by students.

2. Open a psychological consultation room and integrate the heterosexual communication guidance for middle school students into psychological consultation.

This research group uses the fourth activity class in the afternoon every Monday to Friday as a fixed student psychological consultation time. We sincerely invite experienced education experts such as Principal Yin Shizhen, Director Yuan Zhaoyun, and Director Li Daogui to sit in the psychological consultation room and work with members of this research group. Provide corresponding guidance for students' concerns. During the consultation, we made full use of listening skills, put ourselves on the same level as the students, regarded ourselves as their friends, and listened to the students' voices with a sincere and enthusiastic attitude, so that the students' emotions were well vented. To a great extent, the mental health of students is ensured and the interpersonal skills of students are improved.

3. Use book guidance to create a healthy cultural atmosphere and provide adolescent education for middle school students. ① Organize class teachers to borrow books on puberty topics from the school library, and guide students to understand puberty knowledge through books and understand their own physical and psychological development. ② The "Yushan Middle School Mental Health Newsletter" was launched for all students to provide a healthy cultural atmosphere for middle school students to guide heterosexual interactions, so that students can subtly understand relevant knowledge and improve their mental health. ③ Guide students to conduct self-education through activities such as accumulating famous sayings and writing psychological diaries, which greatly improves students' psychological quality.

4. Integrate resources from multiple sources to provide love education to students. ① Use literary works to educate students about love. The ninth-grade Chinese textbook for the first volume contains an essay "Letter to My Daughter" by the famous educator Suhomlinsky. The author does not avoid or perfunctory the topic of love raised by his 14-year-old daughter, but uses vivid stories to express it The true meaning of love: "Human love should not only be beautiful, honest, and loyal, but also sensible and prudent, alert and serious. Only that kind of love can bring joy and happiness."; Some famous literary works such as "The Book of Songs", "Jane Eyre", "Pride and Prejudice", "Norwegian Wood", "Romeo and Juliet", etc. condense the most beautiful love experiences and expressions of human beings at all times and at home and abroad. They are full of love, selflessness , respect and sacrifice, which express the goodness of human beings and all the beautiful emotions of human beings condensed in love. Develop and use these curriculum resources to educate students about love, so that students can naturally understand how to be a person while feeling the beauty of love in the works. All the good qualities and dispositions a true man needs. ② Use celebrity love stories to provide role model education to students. The love stories of many celebrities in history are evocative and touching, such as the poetic love between Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun, Sun Yat-sen and Soong Ching Ling, Lu Xun and Xu Guangping, and the British poets Browning and Mallet. They are full of dedication. With loyalty, elegance and innocence, responsibility and shame, conscience and sincerity, justice and tolerance, we use Internet materials and rely on these classic celebrity love stories to provide role model education on love to middle school students whose world outlook and outlook on life have not yet been finalized. Inspire students to establish a noble view of love. ③Use music to provide aesthetic education to students. Some beautiful music with the theme of love can cultivate students' sentiments and help them establish positive and healthy aesthetic tastes, such as the violin piece "Butterfly Lovers", the piano piece "To Alice", the song "In That Faraway Place", etc., to guide students Students appreciate or sing these repertoires, so that students can subconsciously establish a correct aesthetic consciousness.

5. In conjunction with the safety education activities organized by the County Education Committee, provide students with safety education in heterosexual interactions. Based on the actual situation of students frequently surfing the Internet, our school uses the campus radio station to launch the special program "Journalists in Action" to educate students on the standardization and safety of online behavior. Through relevant columns such as reporter interviews and broadcast essays, students can understand the benefits and benefits of the Internet. disadvantages, understand the virtuality of the network itself, and regulate their online behavior; at the same time, use information technology classes to teach students relevant network knowledge and guide students to surf the Internet in a civilized manner; in addition, with the help of the Yushan Town Police Station, the school is also monitoring the surrounding environment On the premise of implementing cleaning measures at and Internet cafes and further tightening the student management system and safety defense measures, we educate students to establish safety awareness, standardize interpersonal interactions with people outside the school, and ensure a safe and orderly educational order in the school.

6. Convene a symposium for girls and implement role model education for girl groups.

Zhang Qi, the vice-president of the student union and a student in Class 3 of Grade 02, is a good student with both good character and academic performance. This research group invited her to give a lecture "Master Yourself and Go to Success" for all girls based on her own personal experience and successful experience. An ideal education was conducted for all girls, guiding them to establish lofty aspirations and position their happiness on the road of studying hard, improving their own quality, and striving to realize their ideals. The anxiety caused by confusion; in addition, teacher Wu Xia, a member of this research group, combined with his own understanding, hosted a girls' symposium "Where is Happiness" to guide girls to understand that beautiful friendships can bring us joy and happiness. Every student Everyone should cherish the friendship between classmates and strive to create a harmonious and warm class atmosphere; in addition, pure love is beautiful and worth cherishing. Only by making yourself better can you obtain ideal love and find the ideal love. Happy life; implement the "Women Style Month" activity, set a role model among the girls in the school, learn from the role models, and conduct peer education for girls: through class teacher nomination and student selection, each semester we select a self-esteem, self-love, and self-reliance from each class As the "Top Ten Campus Women", outstanding girls who are self-improving will be selected through speeches to form the "Top Ten Women on Campus Report Team". They will take turns giving reports to girls, implement peer education for all girls in the school, and guide girls to establish a correct life. outlook and values.

7. Organize a variety of extracurricular activities to educate students on empathy. Boys and girls in early youth like to participate in various cultural and recreational activities and read various literary and artistic works. We use their interest to carry out a variety of educational and interesting activities, such as speech activities, calligraphy competitions, basketball games, and campus singer awards. Competitions, reading reports, etc., regulate students' spiritual life, transfer students' remaining energy to activities they are interested in in a timely manner, so as to dilute the troubles brought to them by the emergence of students' sexual consciousness, and thus provide empathetic education to students.

8. Formulate norms for male and female students to interact and provide a reference code of conduct for normal interactions between male and female students in middle schools. Based on Shanghai West Middle School’s experience in regulating the social behavior of male and female students, and with reference to the relevant content of the seventh-grade ideological and moral textbook, our school has formulated social norms for male and female students: it is encouraged to have more interactions with male and female students in the same class, and it is not recommended that male and female students cross classes or grades, and more Inter-school or even inter-industry interactions are not encouraged; collective interactions between male and female students are encouraged, and individual intensive interactions between male and female students are not encouraged; male and female students are encouraged to interact within the school, and male and female students are not encouraged to interact outside the school, especially in entertainment venues; students are encouraged to talk more about their studies when interacting , work and other healthy content, do not encourage students to interact with each other to talk about food, clothing, and play; encourage students to emphasize spirituality over material things in their interactions, and do not encourage students to give gifts; encourage male and female students to be civilized in their interactions, behave and speak appropriately, and do not encourage physical contact between men and women. Feet, body contact; It is encouraged that men and women should take the initiative to listen to the guidance of their elders when interacting, and it is not recommended to interact behind the backs of elders, especially guardians; it is encouraged that male and female students interact in a real environment, and it is not recommended that male and female students interact online. The norms for the interactions between boys and girls in middle school students mainly take the form of verbal agreements. The purpose is to guide the class teacher to do detailed ideological work on the students, thereby guiding the students to have normal interactions between boys and girls.