M is my best friend from kindergarten to junior high school.

When he was at school, his composition was particularly good. It seems that since the fourth grade, almost once a week, composition lectures and class evaluation have become his special sessions. He was really young and confident at that time.

To tell the truth, although we are good friends, I still can't help but envy him. I think, when this guy grows up in the future, he may really become a novel writer like Jin Yong and Gu Long.

Then I graduated from junior high school. It was not popular to go to college at that time. We worked hard to get into a middle school, but not in the same place.

He went to an engineering school. I heard that after graduation, I stayed in a local factory as a technician through my girlfriend.

Later, everyone was busy making a living, far away, and basically had little contact.

A few days ago, an old classmate passed me on a business trip and got together at night. Inadvertently talked about the situation of m.

His 80-year-old cousin is now in the same unit as M, and has just been promoted recently, becoming M's direct leader.

I asked m how is it now?

The classmate said, "It doesn't seem so good. After graduating from technical secondary school, he has been doing things that he is not good at, but he has no courage to change. "

"Nothing has been achieved in these years, and there is no prestige in the unit. Now I am going to work hard for the post-80 s and post-90 s. "

"I heard that at home, the daughter-in-law despises him, and the child is not convinced of him. In short, there is no distinction between inside and outside. "

The classmate finally said, "Alas, people in their forties are losing confidence now.

I can't help feeling: "How did this happen? I think of him now, and I still remember his cheerful appearance when commenting on the composition. If he can keep writing, maybe he can achieve something now ... "

What do you think of this story at this point?

In my opinion, M's living condition today is mainly because he gradually lost his strengths and self-confidence.

1, has its own areas of expertise.

Everyone needs to have one or several fields that he is good at, and he can show his strengths in this field.

It doesn't matter what this field is, what matters is that you can enjoy yourself in it. Because only if you are interested, you will manage it with great care.

In addition, this field needs to be able to influence and help others. Because people are social animals, they need audience's appreciation and encouraging applause from birth.

2. Social system support.

Can get the affirmation and support of family, friends and colleagues in time. This is especially important when a person encounters setbacks and blows.

1, adjust your own cognition and break the limited belief of "generalizing the whole with the partial".

When a person loses confidence in himself, he is often influenced by the limited belief of "generalizing the whole with one part".

Just because one thing is not done well does not mean that nothing is done well.

Review: What beautiful things have you done?

These examples are very important for breaking one-sided self-evaluation and restoring confidence.

2. Instead of blindly comparing with others, return to the track where you are good at running.

I think there are two stupidest things in this world: one is to go out begging with a golden rice bowl; One always compares one's own shortcomings with others' strengths. Both of these things can quickly break a person's confidence.

3. Admit your incompetence with a calm mind.

Gold is not enough, no one is perfect. Everyone has something they are not good at. Not good at it and not terrible. The terrible thing is to reject the reality that you are not good at in your heart and pretend to be omnipotent all day.

Only by admitting your own incompetence can we face up to this incompetence. Be brave after knowing shame and try to make up for your own shortcomings.

Where there is sunshine, there will be shadows.

A confident person can not only appreciate his own brilliance, but also accept his own imperfections.

Build self-confidence and sense of accomplishment through unremitting efforts in your own field.

Know where your shortcomings are and make up for them through self-growth and everyone's help.

This is the secret of a person's long-term confidence and sunshine and long-term happiness.

People who lose self-confidence will always doubt themselves, doubt their abilities, and even feel useless in many cases. A strong sense of inferiority once plunged me into it.

It was after the business failed, and then for a period of time. Because of this lack of self-confidence, it brought a deeper sense of unworthiness and was blocked everywhere. Therefore, only by restoring collapsed self-confidence can we regain our passion for life.

So how to get back the lost confidence? Here, I think we should start from two aspects.

First of all, from the mentality, accept that life has a ups and downs process, and everyone's life will not be smooth sailing. Some bosses we know now, such as Ma Yun, Shi Yuzhu and Ren, have stumbled all the way on the road to starting a business.

I remember reading a passage in Ren's autobiography, which means that he once said that employees can find jobs again when the enterprise goes bankrupt, and he can only jump out of the window. The reality is that he went through that difficult time and made Huawei the glory of China.

From there, I believe that each of us can walk through the gloomy time and usher in the rainbow of life.

In addition to the adjustment of mentality, cooperation in action is also very important. You should find a job you love, or find your passion from your hobbies or things you are good at.

I think many people can feel that people are more focused, enjoy it and even forget to eat and sleep when doing what they like or are good at. So, you will make this thing more beautiful. These little things can give you a sense of accomplishment, gain recognition from others and give you confidence.

If you can combine what you love with business, you can also help achieve a career. In this era, everyone is a personal brand. If it works properly, anything is possible.

To restore the collapsed self-confidence, on the one hand, we should correctly adjust our mentality, on the other hand, we should find a breakthrough from the little things we are good at or like. Once we break through the self-limitation, just like dominoes, it is just around the corner to completely regain our lost self-confidence.

I completely lost my confidence for a year or two, and both my image and my career were underestimated, including now, but I slowly got up and walked out of this abyss.

How to restore self-confidence, we must first have the determination to change, and then put it into action. Don't dwell on the past. Not afraid of the future. Step by step, down-to-earth, go forward and embrace the rainbow.

This is a question that is often discussed, and it is also an old topic. But it is very important to everyone, and people have to talk about it often. Some people are still worried about this. Here, let's talk about the self-esteem and self-confidence of each of us. The tightrope walker who lost confidence and fell before starting the discussion, I remembered a story from self-confidence to non-confidence. The story is about karl wallenda, a world-famous tightrope walker. The skilled technician walked a tightrope countless times in his life, but at the age of 73, he accidentally fell and died in the center of Podonyi. This is a pity and a reminder. Before, he succeeded every time. Why did he fail this time? He once said, "My life is on a tightrope, and everything else is waiting." In addition to technology, such a confident attitude allows him to walk a tightrope smoothly every time and successfully complete outstanding performances and challenges. According to his wife, in the first three months of the performance, he unfortunately suffered a neck injury. He always felt that it would not go well this time, and gradually lost confidence and even began to doubt himself. He always felt that the performance would fail. Unfortunately, he is right! His death lies not in his skill, nor in his age, but in his mentality. He lost his former confidence! Without self-confidence, a person will be timid, unable to stretch anything, and sometimes it will bring great negative effects, and self-confidence is usually associated with a person's self-esteem. Self-esteem is like a double-edged sword. Self-confidence usually has a lot to do with one's self-esteem. Let's just say that a very confident person must have a strong self-esteem; But a person with strong self-esteem is not necessarily a confident person, sometimes on the contrary, even very inferior. Why do you say that? Self-esteem, which belongs to the psychological part of personality, is a person's emotional experience of respecting himself and asking the outside world to respect himself on the basis of self-evaluation. Generally speaking, self-esteem is very important to a person, and we call it self-esteem in daily life. If a person's self-esteem is too strong, it will make people's vanity swell; If a person's self-esteem is weak, it is easy to make people feel inferior. There are two kinds of self-esteem: explicit self-esteem and implicit self-esteem. How can I put it? Explicit self-esteem is something we can realize, it is dominated by our consciousness, and our actions and evaluations are intentional. In other words, we can control it to some extent. Implicit self-esteem is a person's unconscious evaluation of himself, which usually leads to two extremes-vanity and inferiority. There is a psychological research on implicit self-esteem of college students (the research effect of implicit self-esteem of poor college students in Ningbo University). The research shows that the strength of implicit self-esteem will affect people's interpersonal relationship, study and life to varying degrees, and college students with weak implicit self-esteem have a higher degree of inferiority than ordinary college students. Of course, there are many factors that affect implicit self-esteem in this study, such as family structure, income level, social atmosphere, teacher-student evaluation and so on. How to improve our self-esteem and self-confidence? Many people, including many psychological counselors, will suggest that a person will be confident only if he fully knows himself, agrees with himself and accepts himself, and his self-esteem will naturally come back. This is what we often see: "If you are in full bloom, the breeze will come." . I can't deny this, in theory. A person with high self-identity must also be a confident person. Because he completely agrees with himself, sometimes he doesn't need external evaluation. For example, many hermits and heroes in ancient times, they don't care about outside comments, but only care about their own hearts. First, a high sense of self-identity and a clear understanding of themselves; The second is the realm. Their mentality is very free and easy, not bound by the outside world and not dependent on others. Therefore, it is very difficult to find yourself, know yourself, and then agree to get the realm. Because people's thinking is difficult to change in a short time. A more effective way is that we need bystanders, or we need feedback when we change, and we need positive stimulation and encouragement to generate motivation and continue to do it. In the final analysis, the meaning of self-esteem lies in giving others more in return. Based on my own evaluation, I hope others will agree with me and respect me. If there is no response from the outside world, I think it is difficult for an ordinary person to reach the realm of hero hermit. Some people will say, what if I don't have much around me? Without help from others, am I not confident? This is not the case. In fact, fundamentally speaking, for most people, people who are not confident and have strong self-esteem are mostly caused by their living environment and background. To put it bluntly, they are poor! For such a group of people, as long as they work hard, make positive progress and get life satisfaction, their self-confidence will naturally recover slowly with the increase of money in their pockets. For those who break through Maslow's physiological needs and safety needs, if they want to be more confident, they should start with their emotions and sense of accomplishment. In addition, respect is often a mutual process. You want others to respect you, but you don't know how to respect others, so you won't really be respected by others. Finally, I remember there is a simple way to cultivate my self-confidence. Technically, it's called talking to yourself. The principle is self-suggestion To put it bluntly is to pretend. You lie to yourself first and pretend it's true. Say to yourself in this mirror every day, stick to it, the power of the subconscious is terrible. Let me start with a small case. In order to meet her idol Justin Bieber, Chen Lingli, an American super fat girl, filled her room with his portraits, and then encouraged herself to lose weight in front of these photos every day. She kept hinting that she could, and the result was unexpected. She changed from a fat girl of 240 kg to a sexy hottie of 130 kg. Persistence+self-suggestion+positive stimulation, sometimes doing one thing is as simple as that, so is confidence.

When everyone has a low point, it depends on what mentality you use to treat it and find confidence!

First of all, do a few small goals that can be easily accomplished! Don't ask too much of yourself, everyone has advantages and disadvantages, learn more about yourself!

Go to the barber shop and get a haircut first, so you look more energetic!

Second, get up every day and put on a suit that you think is the most beautiful, and then say to yourself three times in the mirror: You can do it, come on!

Third, go running, running can forget all the unhappy things!

Fourth, read more inspirational books or TV!

In fact, you can think that everyone has advantages and disadvantages, and what you have is what others don't! In fact, the most important thing for people to lose confidence is mentality!

The above is my opinion, I hope I can help you!

In fact, it would be more ideal to enlarge the pattern and put yourself down before doing things. thank you

I forget where I read it. I keep a success diary every day to record what I have accomplished today. I want to write down some small things, such as who I helped, what I was praised for, and what time I got up on time in the morning. You will find many advantages of yourself.

I really realize that a healthy life can make me confident. After five years of fitness, my body and mind have changed greatly. As long as people and animals have strong bodies, they will have confidence. Of course, as long as you have a very strong financial backing, you can be very confident.

First of all, you have to identify yourself. Only when you feel that you are no worse than others can you try to regain your confidence. Then the next step is to prescribe the right medicine. If you don't feel confident in your appearance, you don't want to look particularly good, but you should be clean and tidy. I feel that I am not good enough. Read more books if you have nothing to do, enrich your knowledge and learn to master several skills. Nothing can also be fitness, exercise. To sum up, no matter what kind of bear you are now, you should believe that you have a bright future.