I have a habit of collecting and tagging any speeches that are particularly inspiring.

Then after a while, when you feel confused, stop, find the corresponding speech, and listen to what you have heard before.

It turns out that I get different results every time.

Last night, I reviewed Bai Yansong’s previous speech at Xiamen University. To be honest, every time I listen to his speech, it always gives me a completely different feeling.

But this time, after listening to his speech, I understood an important truth in life, which is: stop and talk to yourself.

Once upon a time, the fast-paced modern life has put us under too much pressure and load. How long has it been since you had a conversation with yourself?

It is inevitable for us to pursue happiness and self-realization, but at the same time, our souls also need to be relieved and released. Let’s calm down and talk to ourselves!

I have a friend who has not had a job in 6 years.

Not because she is physically disabled or has mental health problems, but because she is a housewife.

I believe that most women don’t want to live such a life, and I don’t know if she really wants to. But she is indeed living such a life.

In recent years, she has become neither active nor sociable. She spends most of her time at home except taking care of her children. She feels like a person who has lost her vitality.

I originally thought that she had fallen into the "trap" of marriage and had lost expectations for life. Instead of moving forward, she was retreating. I was worried that she would eventually be forgotten by this society.

But she once said to me, "When the child enters kindergarten, she will return to work because she does not want to stay at home every day and face the daily necessities of life."

But many years have passed. , now she still stays at home. In the first half of the year, I saw her submitting her resume to look for a job. Afterwards, she posted on WeChat Moments that there was no suitable job for her.

She also mentioned that she missed an interview with a company she liked, so she had to wait half a year.

In real life, people like her abound. I call her an "excuse woman."

I tell you this not to say she is bad, but to use her as a mirror to illustrate how we deceive ourselves and how we hinder our progress.

Texans have a proverb, "Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die." The philosophy is very similar to the well-known "If you don't enter the tiger's den, you won't get the tiger cubs."

This also reminds me of a story.

There was once a person who often said in front of people that he wanted to learn to swim. But when he was asked why he didn't go to a swimming pool to learn, he said that there were too many people there and it would be awkward for him to wear a swimsuit.

For him, in the face of interests and dreams, "not doing it" is more comfortable than embarrassing himself.

Obviously, whether it is my friend or this person who wants to learn to swim, they all have the same characteristic: self-deception.

When they want to do something, all excuses are reasons to lie to themselves.

Therefore, every time I do something, I will have a dialogue with myself, and the results have proved that those excuses are often lies I deceive myself.

This is not my problem, I have no confidence, I feel I am not capable enough. So, when a problem arises, it’s someone else’s problem?

Not only did this conversation with myself help me say no to making excuses, it also gave me clarity on what I needed to do. Because during the conversation, I was giving myself suggestions, and the solution to the problem was within me.

For example, I always feel that I am a procrastinator. Then when doing things, I will talk to myself, clarify the reasons for my procrastination, and find ways to improve efficiency.

Of course, everything I do is responsible for myself. But what cannot be ignored is that we are human beings, and as human beings we are naturally prone to laziness, jealousy and fear.

Faced with these, talking to yourself is a good way. As Bai Yansong said in his speech, "These seemingly useless things slowly become a kind of enjoyment." < /p>

Talking to yourself can allow you to find out the answers in your heart, instead of blindly making excuses for yourself to escape when you encounter problems.

It is also true that you either have an excuse or a consequence, you cannot have both. So the next time you find yourself making excuses, have a conversation with yourself.

You will quickly discover that your excuse is actually an obstacle of your own making, an obstacle to your progress.

As the world master of public speaking Maraboli said:

Sometimes, when we pursue happiness and self-realization, the biggest problem is that we over-amplify them and neglect to listen to our own hearts. sound.

Therefore, we need to stop, give ourselves some time to be alone and meditate, talk to our own souls, and let those external things slowly settle.

As Iswaran said in his book "Conquering the Mind": "In deep meditation, our minds are still, quiet and clear. This is the period of our childhood. A state of innocence through which we know who we are and what the purpose of life is.”