The famous aphorisms about filial piety in the Analects

Human life begins in the family, and the cultivation of interpersonal interaction is also based on the relationships in the family. Therefore, Confucius repeatedly emphasized filial piety and brotherhood. He said: "Disciples will be filial when they enter, and they will be younger when they leave" ("The Analects of Confucius, Chapter 6"). He believed that the second-level performance of scholars is "the clan calls filial piety, The township party calls him brother Yan" ("The Analects of Confucius, Chapter 20").

When others asked him why he did not engage in politics, he answered by referring to the saying in "Shangshu" that "filial piety is only filial piety, being a friend to brothers, and giving to those who have politics" ("The Analects of Confucius for Politics Chapter 21") ), which means that if everyone practices filial piety and brotherhood, the world will naturally be on track.

The word "di" originally refers to the respect between brothers and sisters, and extends to the feelings of peers in relatives, and even generally refers to the attitude towards elders; the word "filial piety" clearly refers to the thoughts and behavior towards parents. .

There are about ten chapters devoted to filial piety in The Analects, from which we can understand Confucius’s thoughts. The first thing he reminds us is: when we are filial, we must have respect and care.

Let’s talk about respect first.

Ziyou asked about filial piety, and Confucius said: "Today's filial piety means being able to raise people. As for dogs and horses, they can both be raised. How can we be different if we don't respect them?" ("The Analects of Confucius for Politics Chapter 7") 》)

There are two interpretations of this passage.

The first is Zhu Xi’s annotation, which says, “If people fail to respect their parents, how is this different from raising dogs and horses?” This explanation compares raising parents to raising dogs and horses, which is really true. There is something inappropriate.

Another explanation is: "The so-called filial piety nowadays refers to being able to serve one's parents. But even dogs and horses can serve people. If respect is missing, how can one distinguish between the two? "Where is the child?"

This explanation "uses dogs and horses as metaphors for children", which means that if children lack respect when serving their parents, there will be no difference from dogs and horses serving people. It is obviously more appropriate to use dogs and horses as metaphors for children. We still use the phrase "willing to do the work of dogs and horses" today to express gratitude to people.

So, isn’t it appropriate to treat parents with respect?

Let’s talk about care.

Zi Xia asked about filial piety, and Confucius said: "It is difficult to look at sex. When there is something to do, the disciple will do his duty; when there is wine and food, the teacher will eat. Do you ever think you are filial?" ("The Analects of Confucius: Chapter 8" )

Meaning: It is the most difficult for children to keep a cheerful face. When there is something to be done, young people do it for you; when there is food and wine, let the older people eat and drink. Can this be considered filial piety?

The "disciple" and "sir" mentioned in this passage generally refer to the younger generation treating the elders, or the students treating the teacher. But you can't just treat your parents like this, you must also maintain a pleasant face. This kind of cheerful expression comes from the sincere emotions in the heart. Because of the clear understanding of the parents' blessing of childbirth, the endless emotions of care, love, protection and care are born in the heart.

There is a traditional Chinese story called "Twenty-Four Filial Piety". Each story is a good example. Not everyone can learn the practices, but the intention is the same.

For example, "Lao Laizi plays with colorful clothes to entertain his relatives". It describes that Lao Laizi, who is over seventy years old, still wears colorful clothes, sings and dances to please his parents, and even pretends to cry like a baby when he falls to make him happy. My parents were so happy that they forgot how old they were. We do not have to imitate this behavior, but we must not forget to be sincere and always be kind to our parents.

Perform filial piety in an appropriate manner

So, are there any general principles for children to fulfill their filial piety? According to the Analects of Confucius, we find the following points.

1

Confucius said: "When parents are here, if you don't travel far away, you must have a way to travel." ("The Analects of Confucius Chapter 19")

Meaning: When parents are alive, children should not go far away; if they go far away, they must have a certain place to go.

The ancient people's long-distance travel included: study tours, official tours, travel, entertainment, and business, etc. As long as you leave home, your parents will miss you, so be sure to let your parents know where you are and keep in touch. Today, mobile phone communication is convenient. Children should not only let their parents know where they are, but also be connected frequently, as if they are with their parents at all times.

2

Confucius said: "One must not know the age of one's parents. One is to be happy, the other is to be fearful." ("The Analects of Confucius, Chapter 21 of Ren Chapter") )

Meaning: Children must remember the age of their parents. On the one hand, we are happy that they live a long life, and on the other hand, we are worried about their growing old age.

Confucius said this, which is particularly touching because his own experience was: losing his father at the age of three and losing his mother at the age of seventeen. He has a high degree of empathy and uses empathy to express his sincere feelings for the children of the world.

3

Meng Wubo asked about filial piety. Confucius said: "Parents only worry about their illness." ("The Analects of Confucius: Chapter 6")

Meng Wubo was the son of Meng Yizi, a senior official in the state of Lu, and he was a young nobleman at that time. Confucius taught students in accordance with their aptitude and reminded this noble child: let parents only worry about their children's illness.

In other words, it is inevitable for people to get sick if they eat whole grains. It is very valuable if the children do not make their parents worry about anything else (such as studying, making friends, and doing things) except for being sick. This sentence naturally inspires all children.

4

Meng Yizi asked about filial piety. Confucius said: "It's no violation."

Fan Chi Yu, Confucius told him: "Meng Sun asked about his filial piety to me. I said 'no violation'." Fan Chi said: "What do you mean?" Confucius said: "When you are alive, do things with etiquette; when you die, bury people with etiquette, and offer sacrifices with etiquette." ("The Analects of Confucius for Politics Chapter 5")

The ancient nobility was the ruling class, and their words and deeds They all take etiquette as the standard, otherwise they will not be able to lead the people. Therefore, speaking of filial piety as "without violation" means that filial piety must comply with etiquette or social norms.

People cannot be separated from society, and society cannot be without norms. Filial piety is a major matter in life, and it must be considered in terms of etiquette.

If the children cannot be filial in a "proper" manner when the parents are alive, the parents will also be criticized; the funerals and memorial ceremonies after the death of the parents must not violate the norms recognized by everyone.

5

Confucius said: "If you have not changed your father's ways for three years, you can be called filial." ("The Analects of Confucius Chapter 20")

< p> means: the children must not change their father's way of doing things for three years.

This sentence is mainly used for nobles, such as "Meng Zhuangzi's filial piety is also possible; it is impossible for him not to change his father's ministers and his father's government." ("The Analects of Confucius"· Chapter 18") means: Meng Zhuangzi did not change the retainers appointed by his father and the policies set by his father. This was out of respect for his father.

Ordinary people must continue the good deeds done by their fathers for at least three years, and then consider whether they want to choose another kind of good deeds to contribute to society in their own way.