The rivers and lakes are surging, I hope you will be a fearless person

There is a character in Gu Long's novel named Feng Siniang, who is smart, straightforward, and charming. He enjoys life. He has a famous saying: ride the fastest horse, climb the highest mountain, eat the spiciest food, drink the strongest wine, play with the sharpest knife and kill the cruelest people. This can be said to be the most fearless person in the entire Gu Long series

A few days ago, I met a teacher who saw me scrolling through Zhihu. Because that day was Haizi’s festival, various forums were full of remembrances. Haizi's article. I searched for Haizi's "Facing the Sea, Spring is Warm and Flowers are Blooming" in Zhihu. Maybe he is also a fan of Haizi. Just like that, we started chatting and he also saw my true nature as a student.

Because of our relationship with Haizi, we must start talking about Haizi. He asked if he understood the meaning behind the poem. Of course I didn't. I told him the truth. He recalled it and sighed, and we slowly started chatting.

"This poem has been abused by too many people nowadays. In fact, they don't know the meaning at all. This is Haizi's desperate poem. He committed suicide after writing this poem. "Hearing this, I fell into a trance. "This poem is not as simple as it appears. In fact, there are many things that can be seen from it. It's just that people today can't understand it with their hearts."

Indeed, in the era of fragmented information, There are not many people who can really calm down and think. From his story, I learned about Haizi’s fearlessness, his attitude towards life, his courage to love and hate. How infatuating.

This is the first time that I have felt a kind of vicissitudes in a person in his 30s that does not belong to his age. He must have a story, but I didn’t ask, not because I didn’t have wine, everyone Meeting is fate, why bother to delve too deeply into it.

If it weren’t for his words that left a deep impression on me later, maybe we would have just forgotten about it. The situation should be like this:

He asked if he had the idea of ??staying in Nanjing and buying a house after graduation. He said that he had met many young people like me and had asked most people this question. As for me, it was just a casual conversation, and then he said, it is your luck and your misfortune to be born in such an era. He said: We were born when it was about to get dark (post-80s generation), Haizi was born before it got dark. She witnessed the changes in Chinese society, and her life experience made her gain so much; and your generation (95), were born in After dark. I don't know if you can understand it this way, let's use an analogy. When I graduated in 2008, the house price in Nanjing was around 4,000, and our salary was around 3,000. Our generation still had the desire and idea to buy a house; and your generation, the house price in Nanjing is now around 40,000, and now undergraduate graduates The salary should be around 4,000. This reality has always been before your eyes and is inevitable.

Indeed, we all miss the martial arts world written by Mr. Jin Yong and yearn for a life like the wind and the four mothers. However, the waves in the world have long since changed the world into something different. Aki Ajie sings in "The Legend of Gu Long Heroes": Drink the strongest wine, fall in love with the most beautiful person, and watch the sea and the sky rise. This kind of life has long been out of reach. Not available.

The rivers and lakes are surging, and I hope you will be a fearless person.

In 2016-2017-2018, I experienced many ups and downs. From Qingdao, to Shanghai, and then to Nanjing, especially in the spring of 2018, I couldn't help but bear a different kind of pressure, and my parents were under even greater pressure. I originally thought I could bear it, but in the end I couldn't. I was crushed, but I just didn't realize it. In fact, my giving up probably started at that time.

This should start from the last time I practiced Zen at an altitude of 9,000 meters. I am almost a mobile phone addict now. Novels, games, and videos take up most of my time. But maybe I was so eager to go home this time that I even forgot to play with my phone. After the flight took off, I entered the Buddhist saying In the state of Zen practice, I reviewed all the past three years, and I was surprised to find out, who is this such a fragile person? Live your life in a way that you look down upon, and kill yourself.

It is said that people's words are scary, but the most terrifying thing is probably not being able to get past one's own heart. Self-exile and self-numbness may be the unbearable lightness of life.

We are all envious of the people in Dabing's book, maybe because they are living the life of our dreams. Dabing said: Please believe that there are really people in this world who are living the life you want. I hope you and I can work nine to five and travel around the world. Indeed, we are both envious of each other's age.

A few days ago, I saw an article about Dong Qing on the Internet, called "Dong Qing-Inertia Running". It describes Dong Qing like this, "It is a habit of running, and you can only keep running. On days when work cannot be filled, you will occasionally feel lonely." This reminds me of the sentence "The meaning of life, so No matter how hard we try, we can never be too heavy, because we are born as human beings."

After getting off the plane, I was waiting for the bus, and I thought that my grandpa, who might leave at any time and was waiting to see me, suddenly arrived first. I actually attended more than a dozen funerals in the past six months. I became increasingly uneasy and could only smoke one cigarette after another.

I got home around 2:10 in the morning, and my grandpa left at 5:59, just to see me for the last time, say a few words to me, and give me some advice. In the next few days, when I occasionally had free time, I habitually looked back at the familiar corner of the roof. It was the place where my grandpa used to rest and smoke. Now only the tomb remains.

All of this is stimulating my dying heart. Maybe I slowly figured it out, or maybe I sorted it out and understood that the so-called growth means forcing You are alone, staggering and injured, and stumbling and strong.

The rivers and lakes are surging, and I wish you to be a fearless person.

I hope you can stick to your heart. Bai Yansong said: The clearer the place where you look back, the more determined you will be to move forward. An article wrote: Only by running hard can you maintain the same rhythm as your team, not be abandoned, and stay where you are.

Luo Zhenyu said: We all want to have a peaceful time, but in today’s society, there is no such thing as a peaceful life. Yes, we can only stay where we are by running hard.

We may not always win, but we will never admit defeat. Again, let’s end with the theme.

The rivers and lakes are surging, and I wish you to be a fearless person.

? End 2019.5.6 The end of the cold season