I have the same high respect and sincere love for these two mothers.

I left my biological mother at the age of six and went to live in the city. I went back to my hometown twice in the middle, both for mourning. I only stayed at my mother's for a few days, but I still returned to the city. In the last eight years, when I was a sophomore, my mother gave up foster care and lived only in her forties. I cried for years, but I couldn't eat or sleep. I really want to go underground with my mother. My wish didn't come true. From then on, I became an orphan without a mother. Children who lack maternal love are people with incomplete souls. I have an incomplete soul, and I have eternal hatred. I can't stop crying for decades when I think of my mother. Now I am in a lonely town in G? ttingen, Germany. I don't know why, my mother often falls asleep.

My motherland, this is the first time I left her. I've only been away for a few months. I don't know why, but my mother often comes to sleep.

In order to preserve the true feelings at that time and avoid tampering with the feelings at that time with today's feelings, I will not describe or narrate them now, but extract a few paragraphs from my diary when I first arrived in G? ttingen:

1935165438+10/6

Soon it will be dark outside. I think tonight is the most interesting. I didn't turn on the light, just stood by the window silently, watching the dark night color weave into the sky and the opposite roof. Everything disappeared in the dim light. My heart often moves in a quiet atmosphere. This activity is slight. I had no idea there was such an activity. I feel a little sour and sad when I think of my hometown and my old friends. However, this kind of desolation is not the same as ordinary desolation. It is sweet, thick, with unspeakable taste and deeply stuck in my heart.

165438+1October 18

A few days ago, the landlady told me that her son came home from school today and she was very happy. ..... but her son just didn't come, and she looked a little depressed. She added that there was another bus in the evening and maybe he would come. I saw her expression and thought of my mother lying underground in my hometown. I really want to cry! I just know now that mothers are the same at all times and in all countries!

165438+ October 20th

I really miss home now, my hometown, my friends in my hometown. I can't stand thinking sometimes.

165438+1October 28

I leaned back on the sofa and listened to the wind blowing by the window. Rain in the wind, cloudy as night. My thoughts are ups and downs, and I think of my old country again.

65438+February 6th

In recent days, my mood has been much more stable. I really thought two years was too long before; At the same time, I feel uncomfortable in all aspects of food, clothing, housing and transportation here, so it seems that I can't stand it for two years anyway.

From my diary when I first arrived in G? ttingen, I will quote these paragraphs for the time being. In fact, there are many similar places, as can be seen from these paragraphs. In short, I don't want to stay abroad. The thought of my mother and my motherland makes my heart surge, and I can't stop worrying. I'm not going to stay abroad. A few months later, in July 1936, 1 1, I wrote a short article entitled "Seeking Dreams". The first paragraph is:

I dreamed of my mother at night and woke up crying. When I woke up and tried to catch this dream again, I didn't know where it had flown.

The following describes the scene of seeing my mother in my dream. The last paragraph is:

Oh, my God won't even give me a clear dream? I looked at the gray sky with tears in my eyes and imagined my mother's face.

When I was in China, I only missed one mother, and I can only miss one mother. Now abroad, I have another mother in my memory. When I first arrived in G? ttingen, this nostalgia was very strong. It hasn't been broken since. The memories of these two mothers have been with me for ten years in Germany and eleven years in Europe.