Excerpts from super funny classic lines and quotations from My Captain.

1: I'm tired of telling the colonel that you are a mad dog. Why are you lying in a nest with me? ...

The vet said: I am a vet and you are patients. Come and see me, even if you say I'm a gynecologist …

3. Fan Long famously said that it is better to be in-laws with mice than to be comrades-in-arms with you …

4. After the forced landing of the plane, a group of people were running in the Woods wearing underpants, followed by Japanese soldiers, and some even shouted "keep formation", which was really amazing! Then, A Yi wanted to hide in a nearby bush. Meng Fanle said a classic sentence: "A Yi, don't hide there. Don't you think the Japanese played wrong?" …

5. I'm tired of talking about it: Millennium Tortoise, Millennium Japanese style of play, artillery shelling infantry, infantry shelling artillery ... we bombard artillery, we crawl forward, artillery bombarding infantry ... maddening, the latest popular tongue twister. ...

6: Fan Long famously said that he is a good man, he farts, and I suck on his ass …

7. I am bored. First, I blinked at a white towel. As a result, people say, "What are you looking at?" I got bored and said, "What do you think? It looks like a zoo."

8: You only have one pair of underwear left, and you will use it to kill the Japanese …

9. Conya was shot and killed by Meng Fanle while chasing an escaped devil. Kang Ya said to the little devil's body, "Run and die. Don't listen to the old man. There are hardships ahead and you will laugh behind."

10: Head: I'm not active when I go home, I have brain problems, which is very classic …

1 1: When the British military doctor came to show grandpa his legs, everyone pulled his pants and shouted, and some people shouted, Sister Hu, my wife ...

12: The shelf was broken when Mi Long machine gun hit the Japanese, and I was bored to death. Suddenly 1 in a word: you have to pay for this to the Japanese emperor, which makes people laugh …

13: after the plane forced to land, I was very angry and said that if you want to explode, you should jump off the plane. Kang Ya said, you can't jump. Fell dead ...

14: I'm tired of stealing, but I still look indignant: not only a soldier, but also a patriotic soldier, not only a patriotic soldier, but also a patriotic soldier who fought in a war ... After some excitement, I even took off my pants and got my vermicelli back! Funny and bitter, black humor …

65438+ I'll take care of you when Brother comes back victorious! Then twist it upstairs ...

16: Fan Long kowtowed to the pork belly, then said: You continue to fuck him. Then I added: My name is Fan Long, bullying what you told me, laughing …

17: die! Go to hell! Withdraw! Not giving them food ...

18: annoying: call dad. Ray Bao Er: Chicken. Angry: Call Dad. Ray Bao Er: Duckling. Veterinary Hao: Good boy, call grandpa.

Ray Bao Er: Grandpa. I glanced at veterinarian Hao and said, "Call grandpa." . Ray Bao Er: Loach. Angry and helpless, the veterinarian Hao proudly led him to play …

19: within three meters, go to the place where I was slapped immediately. I choose Daxing anlin …

20. Colonel's evaluation of the nickname given to him by his little grandfather: hate, hate, dead, dead, cross-commented, hate. Super funny ...

There are children at home. Funny classic lines and quotations

Liu Xing: Xiaoyu, do you think we are good brothers?

Yu Xia: Of course! Meteor shower is about us!

Liu Xing said to Xia Xue: You will know how handsome your two brothers are when you see the gorilla!

Xiaoxue: I'm looking for Xia Xue!

Liu Xing: What is your classmate's name?

Mom: Hey, I really shouldn't have given birth to you.

Liu Xing: Who gave birth to you? Did you get my permission?

Ka Koi Lam (excitedly): Are you Xia Xue's lovely brother?

Liu Xing (smirking): I am Xia Xue's lovely brother.

Liu Xing: After studying under pressure for so many years, I have never run away from home. Don't you think I am strong?

In the football match of Liu Xing's class, Xiao Yu and Xiao Xue Xia Donghai Liu Mei cheered for Liu Xing and shouted, "Come on, Liu Xing's class! Come on, Liu Xing's class! "

Xiaoyu: If they don't get along, I'll eat a hundred ice creams and kill myself!

Liu Xing: If they don't get along, I'll play computer for a month. I'm exhausted!

Liu Mei: May I come in?

Liu Xing: No.

Yu Xia: Why don't you let mom in?

Liu Xing: Don't let her in. She will be back later.

The door opened-

Liu Xing said, "Dad, Xiaoxue's nickname in the class is Big Sister."

Dad: "What's the matter? It is normal for you to have a nickname. "

……

Liu Xing: "The problem is that there is another boy nicknamed' Big Brother' in her class."

Dad: "So according to you, everyone in your class calls you an orangutan. Is there another girl named baboon? "

Liu Xing: Liu Xing No.2, look at this name, just like hybrid rice!

Xiaoxue: My name is Xia Xue.

Xiaoyu: My name is Yu Xia.

Liu Xing: My name is Hail.

Liu Xing: Mom and Dad, if someone asks for nothing, he will definitely ask you to talk to him. Will you go?

Xia Donghai: Who wants to talk to us?

Liu Mei: Patient?

Liu Xing: No, it's … our head teacher …

Holding a book, Liu Xing said: "The length of time to go to the toilet can't represent whether the person is doing something big or small."

Liu Xing: Eagles fighting in the sky will not envy praised chickens.

(Midnight) Liu Xing: Mom, can you give me some money?

Mom: Why?

Liu Xing: (touching her hair) I want to dye this thing green and have a girlfriend.

Mom: Don't you dare-

Liu Xing: Why can Xiaoxue find a wild boy but I can't find a savage girlfriend? !

Mom: If you dare to find a savage girlfriend, you will find that you have a savage mother! ! !

Xia Donghai: What do you suggest?

Liu Xing: What else can I do?

Xia Donghai: What do you want to do?

Liu Xing: Let's begin!

Xia Donghai: What exactly are you going to do?

Liu Xing: What else can I do? Let's get started!

Xia Donghai: Why is it so difficult to talk about zg with you? ! !

Xiaoyu: Eat when you are hungry, eat when you are hungry, eat when you are hungry, eat when you are hungry, eat when you are hungry and eat when you are hungry.

Liu Xing: No, you missed a link.

Xiaoyu: Which link?

Liu Xing: Listen (picking up chopsticks and tapping the table rhythmically). Eat when you are hungry, and be hungry when you are finished.

You are hungry after eating, and you have to eat when you are hungry.

Liu Xing and Xiaoxue were sleeping at the dinner table when Liu Mei came to pull Liu Xing's arm.

Liu Mei: Look at your watch. What time is it now? I fell asleep.

Liu Xing: I didn't sleep well last night.

Liu Mei: Playing video games again?

Liu Xing: No.

Liu Mei: So it's played online.

Liu Xing: No. I was thinking about the exam.

Liu Mei: About the exam? Did you fail the exam again?

Liu Xing: I haven't taken the exam yet!

Liu Mei: That's thinking about how to cheat?

Liu Xing: Why do you always think of me like that? !

Liu Mei: Let me see the bright side. You must give me a chance!

Grandma: You have to suffer to be a master.

Yu Xia: If you suffer, can you ride on others' heads?

Classic quotation "I am a witness"

A Brief Introduction to I am a Witness

The movie "I am a Witness" is a youth suspense movie starring Yang Mi, Lu Han, Zhu and other actors. It tells the story of a trainee policeman, Lu Xiaoxing (played by Yang Mi), who went blind after being injured, but every dark cloud has a silver lining and noticed many neglected details in the case. In a car accident case, she and Lin Chong (played by Lu Han) are both witnesses but give different testimonies, which makes the case confusing. The rhythm, atmosphere and actors' performances of the film I am a Witness all make the thriller and suspense atmosphere in the story more attractive, which reflects the texture of this type of film.

I am a witness's classic quotations and lines.

If you don't leave, I'm going to pee here again.