I was born in the late 1960s, and I was interested in girls when I was very young. With the growth of age, this interest is also expanding. About 14 or 15 years old, I had a strong fantasy about Xing, and this fantasy was as entangled as a demon. In that relatively closed period, you couldn't see a half-naked woman walking around the street. Without English's dirty CDs and TVs, I seldom see anything that reminds English of reading. However, my evil clever heart has not been born, nor has it been alleviated. It can be seen that clever is a deep habit of human beings, and it is still so strong without external stimulation. What's more, I can often hear Ying's voice and see Ying's image, and it is so open today! However, experience tells me that no matter how heavy the evil shadow is, as long as you have the determination and proper methods, you can completely quit, which will be introduced in detail later.
I can't remember the exact time when I first started to answer. I shouldn't be over fifteen. I am a typical image of men in Northeast China, with strong physique, bold and unrestrained, and handsome face (I mean before England). Everything has changed since I got into this bad habit. The desire to win is like a broken river and a runaway wild horse. Siying, Yiying and Shouying occupy almost most of life, and sometimes the number of Shouying can exceed five times a day.
Although hand English can bring temporary excitement and pleasure, I hate this bad behavior in my heart. I've tried to quit countless times, but I can't escape from English! How can a teenager who is not full of flesh and blood stand such violent diarrhea? His academic performance will soon take a sharp turn, from the top in the whole grade to an underachiever. I am listless all day, I can't concentrate on my lectures in class, I don't do my homework after school, I often masturbate and I am extremely tired, so I can only rely on more sleep. This turned into skipping classes.
Especially in the last two years of high school, I don't want to study and take pleasure in pursuing girls. In the end, he became infamous in Sun Shan, which was in line with Emperor Wenchang's famous saying, "Heaven is a disaster, and its report is quick". Because my parents were unwilling, they advised me to repeat my studies, and the result was money and fame. My financial conditions were ok, and I had no financial problems in going to school. At that time, tuition and miscellaneous fees were quite low.
After failing the college entrance examination twice, I decided to give up my studies and go to work. It was easy to find a job at that time, and soon I became a skilled worker in a public institution. I worked hard, but the change of environment didn't change Ying's bad habits, which made me very upset and helpless. I made a lot of resolutions to quit, with little success. However, the physical and mental damage caused by hand English is enormous. My mental state is very poor, and my heart is always dark, as if I were tied tightly by a thick, dirty and invisible rope: for example, this is karma. Then there is the change of appearance. The former handsome guy is gone, replaced by a distorted face, acne and acne all over his face. Many friends who have been separated from me for many years hardly dare to recognize me. I don't know if you have noticed that anyone who emphasizes evil and heroic looks gaunt, wretched and disgusting. There seems to be something ominous hanging over him. It is really evil thoughts, and evil spirits follow.
Shortly after being infected with Britain, he became addicted to alcohol, tobacco and gambling, and finally became a social garbage completely. And wine helps Britain, and Britain loves wine. One sentence highly summed up my youth at that time: walking dead!
With the growth of age, it's time to talk about marriage. My family is relatively well-off, my parents are both civil servants, with high income and small population, which is rare among my peers. So there is no shortage of girlfriends, but marriage is difficult, always full of twists and turns. Two of them broke up suddenly when everything was ready to get married, which cost considerable money and energy and made me turn pale when I talked about marriage.
There are also many difficulties at work. Drinking and gambling will often destroy the work and won't be reused and trusted by the leaders. They are often excluded, almost everywhere unsatisfactory! But there is a young man who needs to explain to you. Although I have been with many girlfriends, I have never damaged anyone's health. I controlled the risk several times, and now I think it's really lucky!
I met my present wife at the age of 26, and the road to marriage was so bumpy that I almost broke up several times in the middle. It's noisy after marriage. At that time, the marriage was at the parents' home, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law disagreed, which led to the contradiction between mother and child. In the end, everyone broke up. We started a new stove, but our troubles continued.
I am a person who is crazy about alcohol, which is what people usually call an alcoholic. No woman likes her husband to drink a lot. If she meets him and doesn't intend to divorce, she will fight. That's how we live.
As the saying goes; The house leaks when it rains. Not long after our unit was downsized, I was laid off again. Almost at the same time, our five-month-old baby was born again. In short, there are five pairs of unpleasant things out of ten. Forced by my livelihood, I started a small and bitter business. Because I am flexible, hard-working and eloquent, it is no problem for me to make a living with my income. Although life is very tired, English bad habits have not changed. Only then did I deeply realize that it is very difficult to get rid of a bad habit, especially for a person like Ying who smokes and drinks.
People have to face many seemingly beautiful but actually dangerous temptations in their lives. Without a correct outlook on life or sufficient determination, it is easy to go astray. Not long after doing business, I met a young woman and soon had a relationship with her. This woman didn't ask for money for fun, but later I learned that she kept this relationship with many men at the same time.
I have done that kind of scandal several times, and I feel something is wrong. First the genitals burn, and then there is white turbid liquid flowing out. I'm always afraid to go to the hospital because of my face. Later, my wife found out and advised me to go to the hospital. The diagnosis is gonorrhea! To make matters worse, my wife was infected by me.
I thought marriage was over. After all, this kind of thing is hard to be accepted by the other party, but my wife showed considerable tolerance and generosity and comforted me in every way. There are almost no complaints, which makes me very moved! After active treatment, gonorrhea recovered after spending almost all her savings. But the sequelae caused by gonorrhea can't go away.
According to the medical authority, gonorrhea virus in that era was very fragile. As long as it was treated in time, most of them were effective, except for sequelae. However, gonorrhea virus has undergone great changes, with strong drug resistance, accompanied by mycoplasma and mycoplasma infection. It is difficult to cure, and the sequelae are also very serious. Although my gonorrhea has healed, the whole person's immune system has been destroyed, and the sequelae are more serious, such as prostatitis, Behcet's disease (a serious oral ulcer), allergic rhinitis, allergic dermatosis, arrhythmia, hearing loss (caused by antibiotics), endocrine disorders, insomnia and amnesia.
Before I got gonorrhea, I could say that I was as strong as an ox, and I seldom got such a minor illness as a cold. Therefore, I sincerely advise those friends who want to spend a night in youth that staying with prostitutes, no matter how happy they are, is only one in a million compared with the pain afterwards! It's just gonorrhea, not to mention syphilis and AIDS that can't be cured for life or even killed Xing! Be careful! Be careful!
This painful lesson should be enough to awaken the bone marrow, but unfortunately it was not the case in Qing Dynasty. Soon I entered the medical field under the introduction of my friends. This industry is very particular about eating, drinking and having fun, especially when there is business, karaoke is inevitable. Because of the warning, the degree of care for Xing has also improved a lot. However, wine makes this caution indifferent. Every time after thirty, Qing's desire is aroused and uncontrollable. In this way, I just finished my affair and started whoring again. In the next three years, almost all the accumulated funds were used for this matter, and because of the bad English, the business was bleak and almost no money was paid. During this period, gonorrhea recurred again and recovered due to timely treatment.
Fortunately, it was not passed on to his wife, nor was it discovered by his wife. But I feel guilty inside. I always feel that I owe my wife too much, but this guilt will be diluted or even disappeared with wine, and then I will make mistakes again and again and regret it again and again. This kind of torture is very unbearable, and the situation is worse than death. I have been in this state for three years!
I am also disgusted with my decadent life. I have made up my mind to change this way of life many times, but I failed because of my incomplete determination. "This is a normal life? What is the result? . . . . . "？ I often ask myself this question. A strong desire to turn over a new leaf finally broke out that day. At midnight on 200 1, 12, 15, scenes of unforgettable past haunts my mind, and I feel unprecedented shame, regret and shame.
I used to be a person, but now I am an animal. I must change myself back into a person! I got out of bed quietly, went to the cold balcony and knelt down to face the night sky. My finger was deeply pricked by the sewing needle, and the blood flowed down the pinhole to the concrete floor. Then I solemnly made the following promise to Heaven (I had not been exposed to Buddhism at that time): "I must be a good person from now on, and I will never drink, go whoring, gamble, cheat or smoke in my life, seeking heaven and earth as evidence"! What makes me extremely gratified and proud is that from that moment on, I began to strictly fulfill my promise, and it has been more than five years now, during which I have never committed any crime. This is a process of thoroughly remoulding oneself. I admit that this process is full of hardships, and because of this, the gains are huge and unimaginable!
A kilo of white wine is not drunk, two packs of cigarettes a day, dyed for more than 20 years. The degree of addiction is obvious. When I first started abstinence, I felt that I suddenly lost too many things in my life and I was at a loss. My body is at a loss, as if my home is empty and the world is empty. "What's the point of living like this all your life?" Many people are eating, drinking and having fun. Why should I suffer so much? . . . . . " ? I often think so, but when I think about my promise, my self-blame fades. I gritted my teeth and survived again and again.
I think, from the moment you decide to change yourself, you are the enemy now, and the biggest enemy is our own habits! The temptation of the outside world is all the time. Only one person needs to submit it, and your own habits are inside. If you control your habits, you control everything. The test of oneself is everywhere, and the most difficult thing to grasp is some extreme xing scenes, such as major festivals, large gatherings of relatives and friends, eating and drinking between partners, going out alone, traveling far, etc. Frankly speaking, in the first half of abstinence, I hardly dared to attend any such and such parties, for fear that I would not make it.
Always looking for excuses to shirk. Although effective, it is still not the way. There must be times when I can't get rid of it, but I still have to bite the bullet and eat. "Are you kidding? You don't smoke or drink. Don't pretend, drink it right away! " "Your boy has two money to look down on our buddies. Let's talk about something else after drinking this cup." . . . . . Don't say, even my parents don't believe I can do it, because they know that alcohol and tobacco are like life to me. They used to say, "If you can quit smoking and drinking, we can stop eating!" So there is no interruption in pouring wine and handing cigarettes between seats. At this time, patience is patience, and the explanation is futile. The dinner is awkward, but if you can persist, you will undoubtedly win a battle. Sometimes, in order to satisfy business partners, we have to step into some romantic places like ok Hall with our customers, and we have to find a young lady to accompany us in order not to disappoint our customers, but we will never move our bodies except singing two songs, and we will leave with our customers after their bestiality. After you persist in this kind of occasion, your self-confidence will be greatly improved, and you should feel a great victory. After using this method several times, those debauched friends will never come to you again, and naturally they will be freed from evil friends.
It's dangerous when I'm alone. I travel a lot and stay in high-end hotels (the economic situation has been greatly improved since I quit drinking). Of course, it is inevitable that there will be telephone harassment from prostitutes. Although I was thirsty, I controlled it. Why can I resist the temptation now, but not in the past? I often ask myself this question and come to the conclusion that it comes from not drinking! So I think the first thing is to give up drinking. It's no use if you don't give up drinking. The Buddha listed wine in the most basic five commandments, which shows its power! Moderator: Wine is a cover, because it can help promote all kinds of bad habits.
It is difficult to get rid of a habit that has been dyed for many years. I have a deep feeling during my five years of abstinence. Of course, it is because of the difficulty that it is valuable. I would like to share my experiences and feelings of abstinence, and offer them to friends who are suffering from alcohol. Every time I see, hear, smell or even think of wine, my saliva will come out of my tongue, just as a thirsty person thinks of hawthorn and bayberry. I know very well that my dependence on wine has penetrated into the bone marrow, and I can't get rid of it without great torture and perseverance, so I am ready to fight against wine for a long time. Every time I miss the sweetness of wine, the saliva will naturally swallow, which is undoubtedly normal. However, the more saliva I swallow because of the delicious wine, the more I crave it. If I don't control it, I can't resist it.
After thinking about it, I used the following method, which is very effective and has been used until today. When saliva was produced, I immediately thought: "wine is the most poisonous poison in the world, and countless people died because of it." Now saliva is the poisoned wine I have drunk before. " No one likes to drink something related to poison and then find a convenient place to spit it out. Don't swallow it. Over time, the reaction to wine will be slower and slower, resulting in saliva. If it is inconvenient to vomit, immediately turn saliva into spring water drink and swallow it.
But in any case, it is better to spit. Although the saliva produced by wine is not wine, it will accumulate consciously after long-term swallowing, so that your attachment to wine will not be alleviated, but will increase. In fact, many men in our world are excellent, and it is alcohol that rusts their Excellence. Aren't you sad? We all have such people around us. Whenever you see someone drinking, don't envy them. Think about their ugly behavior after drinking, and you will get farther and farther away from drinking!
If we insist on abstaining from alcohol, it will be much easier to give up prostitution. In modern terms, our impulse index will drop greatly and our rational xing will become stronger and stronger. In the words of Buddha, the concentration will be improved! I only came into contact with Buddhism in 2005. By reading some Buddhist scriptures explained by Dade, I understand a lot of truth and the truth of life, and my body and mind have been shocked as never before. Before that, I quit smoking and drunkard Ying and others always used repression, but I didn't dare to watch beautiful women or trendy TV dramas. It works, but it's hard.
I saw many ways to cure evil babies from Buddhist classics and adopted them. According to my experience, the concept of the old master Professor Yin Guang is extremely effective. When Ying read about the current situation of Ying, I immediately think of a woman's genitals, such as a giant snake or crocodile with its big mouth open, showing its fangs and long tongue, and coming straight to our penis. Ying immediately read about it and disappeared, which was instantly cool and tried every time. Don't wait until English has finished to think of this fear, it will be too late. Because we have successfully established our business and have been in eight knowledge fields. Buddha said that this kind of thing in the field of eight senses of human beings is boundless. If you have a body, you can't fill it in vain. These seeds will blossom and bear fruit when they meet karma. Let us pay for it.
"Dear Lord, I think all living beings in Jambu-Di^pa do whatever they want," the Bodhisattva said in his original wish book. . If you think about it, you will achieve something, not to mention being there with a knife. It's terrible to think about it, so it seems that you must be extremely cautious when you start thinking! The founder of Zen Buddhism said: "If you are not afraid of remembering, you are afraid of being late." . It also tells us to divert our attention before it is too late. Don't run thousands of miles to remember to look back. It is better to suppress English pronunciation than to reform it. Transformation may not always be successful, especially at the beginning, we must try our best to minimize English pronunciation, and gradually our concentration will be greatly improved.
Of course, you can also read the holy name of Amitabha or Guanyin Bodhisattva to change your mindfulness, and the effect is also very good. If our desire for English is particularly serious, we can enter and read "The Terror of the Romantic Land" on the Internet. This paper expounds the harm of evil babies from religion, science and other aspects, which is well-founded and shocking. I also think that we should abstain from evil responses and correct our happiness orientation. In other words, most people regard "Ying" as a supreme happiness to pursue. If this concept is not changed, such people will have to work harder to quit. Today, when clever demons are rampant, it is really difficult to abstain from evil clever, but I am afraid we have no choice for our wife and children and for our future life.
For those of us at home, there is no problem between husband and wife, but we should control it, otherwise it will affect our health or encourage evil English. For those who really practice, the Buddha said: "If we should (including) care about Kuboth, it is a person who takes the magic industry." . Buddha is the highest awakened person and prophet. He is a true talker, a talker and a non-talker. Listen to what his old man says, up and down. It can be seen that English is not a good thing regardless of good or evil! I am a person who has a strong desire for English, and I am tortured by English fire. But between husband and wife, I feel deeply that abstinence is welcome and abstinence is welcome. Besides getting better and better, my mind is getting healthier and healthier, which is the most important thing. Xu Yun, an old monk, said, "One point from desire, one point from true self".
It is difficult to get rid of any bad habit that has been formed for many years, but it can be done through hard work. If we want to know how determined we are to keep the precepts, we can find the answer in our dreams. Goode said, "If you have a certain concentration in your dreams, you will also have a certain concentration when you wake up." . I don't know how many dreams I had. syingce quit smoking and drinking, and she couldn't control herself in the early stage. However, with the passage of time, I have refused to drink many times, and even rejected many women who offered to be with me. The above words can express the god of heaven and earth, Buddha and Bodhisattva, and there is no truth in them.
But unfortunately, I have never had a record of refusing cigarettes. As long as someone hands it to me, I will not hesitate to take it away. I have the same determination and time to quit smoking as alcoholic Ying, but my resistance to cigarettes is almost zero. Until a few days ago, I smoked cigarettes handed by others in my dream, which shows that people depend on cigarettes, and the harm of cigarettes to people is so great that it can be said that it has penetrated into the bone marrow completely. This is just an ordinary cigarette, and drugs are even more imaginable. Many people only know the harm of smoking to people's health. According to the records in Buddhist classics, smoke was born under the curse of ancient witches, and it is a special magical product that hinders people's enlightenment. Smoking is also one of the main factors that lead to committing three evils, and it is never under the influence of alcohol and evil English. If you are interested, you can enter a keyword search, which is recorded in great detail in many Buddhist works.
Therefore, I sincerely advise those who are not addicted to cigarettes to stay away forever, and those who have been infected to quit as soon as possible! I think quitting smoking is the most difficult thing. We will associate it with everything except sleeping, and there are smokers everywhere around us. There are too many things that can evoke addiction. I have no good experience to tell you about quitting smoking. I can persist until now because of a belief that keeping my promise is the most important thing in my life.