During my postgraduate entrance examination, my English foundation was not very good. Although I spent a lot of time on English, the results of each mock exam were still not satisfactory.
But I didn't get in that year, and I had to go home to work, so I was a little confused about the hope of taking the postgraduate entrance examination. As the examination time drew near, I began to feel anxious. Anxiety makes me fidgety and have no intention to study.
Somehow, one day I suddenly realized, "I have worked hard this year anyway, and I don't regret it." "I tried, but I'm lucky. I can't die." "Control what I can control and give up what I can't control. What I can control is the degree of my efforts, and what I can't control is the result."
I keep lowering my expectations to adjust my mood. I work hard every day, and I will not live up to my time and myself.
When I am less anxious about the result, I have less internal friction. All my time and energy are spent on studying hard, instead of worrying about the result that didn't happen.
I feel that I have lived a full life and learned a lot of knowledge every day. I lowered my expectations, but the final result was better than expected.
Even I feel that every time I take an exam, interview and go on stage, I play normally, even beyond the normal level.
What level I put my heart into, what will be the result. I didn't sign up for The Expectation of a Pie Falling from the Sky, so I can't talk about any failure.
In this way, those who fail in the exam are basically unprepared. If they do well in the exam, it will be regarded as an extra surprise and the credit for my hard work. I see the meaning of hard work and am more motivated to work hard.
Later, every time I talked with senior three students about decompression, when it comes to lowering expectations, many students don't quite understand.
Students always think that lowering expectations is not giving up on themselves. Will lowering expectations make you lose your fighting spirit and live in your comfort zone?
Therefore, many students with strong self-esteem always set their goals high. When they can reach the level of a book, they will definitely think of Tsinghua Peking University. It seems that the higher the goal, the better the future, the lower the expectation, and the lower the requirements for yourself.
And I think it is good to have a goal, and it is also good to aim high. The goal is to motivate yourself to continue to work hard.
If you feel frustrated and anxious because of high expectations, which affects your efficiency and ability, you should lower your expectations in time, so that you can always maintain your motivation and sense of accomplishment after studying and keep a good mood, so as to achieve your goals better.
Actively lowering expectations is suitable for interpersonal communication.
Between people, I am good to you, I am willing. I don't have high expectations for how you treat me and how to repay me.
In this way, I will be very happy if you return my enthusiasm; I don't care much whether you are indifferent or not.
Similarly, lowering expectations is more suitable for children and couples.
Many times, we are furious with our children because we expect too much from them.
If expectations are too high, it is easy to rush for success. If children do well, they will be ecstatic or suffer from loss. If they make a mistake, they will be disappointed and even sad. A little thing seems to affect a child's life. Once it is broken, it is like seeing a child's finished life.
Therefore, the accepted child is an ordinary person, that is, actively lowering expectations. When we don't have such high expectations, we will have a lot of tolerance and acceptance for children and a lot of indifference to things related to children.
But accepting that children are ordinary people does not mean that parents can give up. Lowering expectations is to let us put down our anxiety, calm our mind, give our children and ourselves time and space to grow up, and let us get better together.
Complaints and dissatisfaction with one's lover, in the final analysis, are to measure and demand the other side with one's own high psychological expectations, while ignoring the other's abilities and feelings.
When we expect more, we always feel what he should look like, but we always fail to meet our expectations, so disappointment, sadness and pain arise.
As a happily married friend of mine said, "He is so capable that you can't kill him. Why do you have to find yourself unhappy? "
I once heard a story that "the old man is always right". To tell the truth, I can't accept a man who traded a donkey for a bag of rotten apples, let alone say "you are right". I even think this man is stupid.
But what does it matter? Their expectations are low, but their marriage is very happy, and those of us who have high expectations for marriage and lovers will always experience a lot of pain.
Someone who has been there has advised you that "from the beginning, you imagined yourself without the help of your parents, children, friends and anyone, so everything you can do today will make you feel infinite surprises."
I once participated in a death experience. At that moment, I was dead. After attending, I have a lot of acceptance and tolerance for life. Because I am "dead", what is happening now is an extra gift. With such psychological expectation, people will cherish time more.
This reminds me of a passage by kazuo inamori: "The ultimate outcome of mankind is death, so what is the meaning of existence? A hundred years later, without you and me, we can't take away anything in life, nor can we take away a trace of vanity.
Life is so short that we have no time to quarrel, grieve or bargain. We only have time to love and enjoy. Making money is just a game, and living is victory. Happiness is the true meaning, and health is the purpose. "
Of course, take the initiative to lower expectations. His premise is that we are people who want to be better.
People who have no motivation and no requirements for themselves should still inspire their fighting spirit.
On the surface, it seems contradictory to actively lower expectations and hope to get better. In fact, we can do things better when we can accommodate two opposite ideas and expectations at the same time.
Because if a person has only desire (hope to be better), he will be eager for success and be grumpy and mean; If he is only rational (actively lowering expectations), he will lack motivation or be obedient and conniving; If he can cooperate online at the same time, he can learn from each other's strong points, achieve each other, reduce the mental burden and go into battle lightly.
So let's lower our expectations and make unremitting efforts. Time will be kind to those who have a strong desire to get better, but also can stabilize themselves and move forward slowly. They can prepare for the best and prepare for the worst. They can love others or themselves. Let's be better together.