A correct view of the divorce rate needs to know the nature of marriage. This essence is aimed at human society and is explained in a practical sense. Beyond the scope of human society, it is impossible to explain the endless philosophical inquiry. In reality, the essence of marriage has four aspects: one is to reproduce, which is the instinct of all living things (based on evolution); The second is to form a close relationship and find a stable emotional sustenance; The third is to meet the needs of social ethics; The fourth is to form stable isomers of * * * and complement each other, so as to survive better in society. Among them, the most direct demand for marriage is the demand for intimacy. Assuming that people can achieve a stable intimate relationship through friendship, then marriage may be just a choice and will not occupy the highest position. Therefore, theoretically, marriage is not the result of intimacy, but a phenomenon highly related to intimacy. In other words, marriage is the easiest way for people to enter intimate relationships. If you choose not to get married and form an intimate relationship through other means, you need to make more efforts. From the perspective of reproduction, this demand is hidden in people's subconscious, and they will not directly think that they are married to reproduce. Ethics is a kind of social binding force, and not getting married will be questioned or attacked by public opinion. Finally, it is everyone's need to get married on the basis of individual survival needs. Without any realistic needs, there will be no psychological and emotional needs, which is the fundamental reason for getting married. Among these four reasons, the binding force of moral ethics is declining, and the material demand for partners is also declining, leading to an increase in divorce rate, especially the need for survival is no longer tied to marriage. The expansion of the scope of spiritual needs and the increase in the proportion of separation show that the scope of human spiritual needs has expanded because of the richness of the material world. Marriage is no longer the most important interpersonal relationship, and social diversification has given people more communication choices, such as the elderly choosing group pension instead of relying on their children; The employment relationship has changed from the authority of managers in the past to the strength and resources now; More and more women are starting to work instead of relying on men for survival; Men are no longer bound by stereotypes and can earn material resources by appearing as femininity. All these changes are enough to explain the changes of the whole society. Spiritual life will gradually adapt to the changes of material relations in an unsynchronized form, which is manifested in the inheritance and relative independence of culture. In other words, the formation of marriage depends on material relations, but it is not entirely an appendage of material relations, and it is also relatively independent. On a large scale, the relationship between marriage and material foundation is oblique causality, while the relationship between marriage and love is highly correlated. As the weight of related factors decreases, the relevance of marriage and love will also decrease. In the past, people tied love and marriage together because they were highly correlated, just like the cock crowing and the sun rising. Because the living environment of the chicken has changed, its crow time will be misplaced with the rising of the sun. Before thinking deeply about the relationship between these two phenomena, people will look at things in a simple and intuitive way, and the separation of marriage and love also reminds people that times are changing and they should adapt to the world with a new attitude towards life. Although people have reached the stage of material supremacy, we can't unilaterally and dogmatically think that the world is purely material and spiritual. Understanding the initiative of the spirit and the material foundation is the correct attitude towards the environment, just like the "golden mean". Among these four factors, human reproductive needs and intimate relationship needs are still in a constant state. Face up to your own needs and try to meet them, and find a balance point that suits you among all the needs, which is the best way to make your life more complete. As for love and marriage, the essence is not cruelty, but no causality. What is the real meaning of marriage? Some people say that marriage is a contract; Some people say that marriage is an intimate love and killing; Others say that marriage is about strength, not truth. There is never a fixed answer to this open question. But these answers, to some extent, also explain the essence of marriage very aptly. In a word, all marriages should be based on equality. What are the conditions for an equal marriage? The answer is, principle. And the scale of these principles, as a woman, should be understood before marriage. Love cannot be too full. If you love yourself for three minutes, what is the best state of love? I like a sentence by Tu Lei: "Love is incomparable, too much is debt, too little is resentment. Love seven points is enough, and the remaining three points love yourself. " In other words, love cannot be too full. Because love is too full, it may end in tragedy. There are many such real cases. During the Republic of China, Zhang Ailing fell in love with the traitor Hu Lancheng. Even though she fell in love with dust, she was finally abandoned cruelly. At the peak of his career, Brigitte Lin waited for 10 years in Qin and Han Dynasties, but even after his divorce, he was still not with Brigitte Lin. Joey Wong, who is famous for Ghost Stories, has been waiting for Chyi Chin for many years. Now Chyi Chin is married, but Joey Wong is still single. Several of them paid without reservation, but in the end they were bitten by love and hurt themselves. It took a long time to heal itself. In the final analysis, it is because I love myself so much that I have no spare space to love myself. Therefore, every woman should not give her love to each other without reservation. If you love someone again and attach to someone again, you must leave yourself a way out. Once overdone, or overexert, it will be counterproductive and suffer. Just like "The Second Time is Beautiful", which is very popular this year. Olivia's heroine sacrificed her career for love and marriage and chose to be a housewife. In the end, she was kicked out of the rich family. The reason is that you love and trust someone too much. As a result, I fell into a quagmire and had to save myself. Miyazaki Hayao once concluded: "Don't rely on someone easily, it will become your habit. When parting comes, what you lose is not someone, but your spiritual pillar. Whenever and wherever, you should learn to walk independently, which will make you walk more calmly. " Loving someone is never equal to losing yourself. Once you lose yourself, you lose the qualification to be liked. Learn to love others, but also learn to love yourself, which is a necessary condition for the preservation of marriage and love. Talk about money before marriage and protect property. Someone in Zhihu once asked, "Why does a good marriage have to talk about money?" One answer was well received by netizens: "Because every marriage often begins with love, but ends with life, which fails to meet the material needs of the other party. Even the best feelings are mostly like castles in the air without foundation." Whether we admit it or not, money is the foundation of marriage. Talking about money before marriage is not an embarrassing thing. As a woman, talking about money with her husband is not only to protect her rights and interests, but also to lay a good foundation for future marriage. I still remember a letter from a female reader two days ago. The girl said that before getting married, when the two families talked about the bride price, the boyfriend's family always said that there was no money. She thought that she would marry him anyway, so she kept persuading her parents that the bride price dropped again and again, from the original 654.38+ million to 30,000. Finally, because of pregnancy, I only took 6.5438+0 million. Moreover, all the money in my hand was given to my boyfriend to buy three gold to fill the vacancy. After pregnancy, the girl resigned and gave birth at home because she had no money. Everything she wants to buy depends on her in-laws' faces, and she will even be choked by her in-laws from time to time. My husband's family is like marrying a cheap daughter-in-law, and I don't cherish it at all. Girls' stories, I think, are not uncommon in life-very real and realistic. Therefore, sometimes when talking about money, it is not money, but people's hearts. Money is not only a need in life, but also a decisive condition for a man to be responsible for marriage. If you don't want your marriage to be a daily necessities, if you don't want to be a "nanny" in your marriage, then please be sure to talk about money. Talking about money is to let you see this marriage better. Talking about money is also to prevent yourself from living without retreat. We should not be too weak. To have a beautiful marriage, we should not only learn to love ourselves, but also learn to talk about money. More importantly, don't let others tell you what to do and occupy your site at will. Let me tell you a moral story first, which is called "Camels push their luck". On a cold winter night, a camel approached an Arab tent. The kind Arab can't stand the cold of the camel, let it stick its head in. Before long, the camels kept stuffing things on their necks, front legs and whole bodies until the Arabs were pushed away. To sum up by borrowing a famous saying from Emerson: "Your kindness must be sharp, otherwise it is equal to zero." This story reflects not only the communication between people, but also a marriage relationship. Love and marriage are the process of mutual intervention. If the personality is too soft, it is easy to be squeezed by the other party to have no living space. Just like a video I saw online before. A girl loves a boy, so humble that there is no principle. What about men? Not satisfied at all, tick off three and take four outside. The girl's brother tried to make her see the truth clearly and warned her: "At any time, don't treat your love as connivance for each other. The kinder the girl, the sharper she should be. " Indeed, without the principle of bottom line, you are doomed to be unable to defend your dignity. The same applies before marriage. If you are weak and compromise from the beginning, there is no bottom line, which will only make the other side push your luck. On the contrary, it is not a bad thing to have thorns on your body. It will be the best armor for you to enter the marriage siege. Just like Wei in Yan Xi Palace, she has her own dignity and bottom line. When she first entered the palace, she said humbly, "I was born with a bad temper and I am not easy to provoke." If someone complains, I have plenty of ways to deal with her. " What is the real meaning of marriage? Marriage is actually the product of comprehensive needs. First, sexual needs. Talking about marriage can't avoid the topic of human sexual needs, because this is a physiological need and an inevitable need after adulthood. Second, the need to carry on the family line. Third, marriage itself is immersed in human yearning and expectation for a better life. Fourth, marriage is a life experience. It is a life process in which two people support each other, tolerate each other and pay each other. Not a holy temple, it must be able to "shelter evil people from evil practices", otherwise "water is clear and there is no fish". It is not the grave of love. As long as two people care about each other instead of always looking at each other with critical eyes, marriage is still a very warm "lover's villa". Fifth, the essence of marriage is that two people live in partnership, which requires both of them to have a sense of responsibility, and they should respect each other and need each other in life. If one day you refuse to make progress with your lover, you may be eliminated one day in the future! Sixth, marriage is the art of compromise. Blindly strong, will hurt each other, but also hurt themselves, so some people say that the perfect marriage exists between a blind wife and a deaf husband. This sentence sounds harsh! But showed great wisdom! Thank you for inviting me. This topic is a bit big. I've been thinking about it for a long time. Maybe no one can give an accurate description. Everyone has a different understanding of marriage, so his answer may be different. Wide or narrow, idealistic or realistic. They are all more individualistic. Personally, I understand that the essence of marriage is the standardized satisfaction of needs and the correctness of life after birth on the road of exploring the meaning of life. It includes physical and psychological needs and spiritual pursuit. Whether starting from love or satisfying selfish desires, your marriage is based on meeting each other's real needs. However, huge human beings have such needs, which in turn has formed certain social norms and formed a moral norm and legal system about marriage. So marriage is actually a contract. This requires everyone to have the spirit of contract. Many people's marriages begin with love. Come together with the same or similar values, move towards the same goal, and form a life of solidarity. Those marriages that are combined to satisfy selfish desires can only be regarded as naked transactions. The significance of marriage lies in the orderly norms of society, which makes everyone have the spirit of contract and promotes the continuous continuation, progress and development of human society. On a personal level, your love can be continued and sublimated. The narrowest statement is that men and women are matched and work is not tiring. This is the most basic and fundamental existence.