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Previous sentence of a 30-year-old daughter-in-law who became a mother-in-law

A sentence for a daughter-in-law who has been a wife for 30 years and she has become a mother-in-law.

A sentence for a daughter-in-law who has been a daughter-in-law for 30 years and she has become a mother-in-law. I believe this sentence is familiar to everyone. Many people often hear this sentence. There may be many people who don’t quite understand the meaning of this sentence. Let me tell you what it means for a daughter-in-law of 30 years to become a mother-in-law. "Thirty years to the east of the river and thirty years to the west of the river", a daughter-in-law of many years has become a mother-in-law.

For a long time, I have been dissatisfied with this sentence. Answer, I don’t understand why such a theory appears, let alone why such a sentence appears. After all, in my understanding, men will not say this sentence, but if a woman does, This is the biggest insult to women.

But unfortunately, it seems that among the people I come into contact with, especially in remote places, the ones who insult women the most are often women themselves, so I understand this sentence. Why is it something that is passed down by word of mouth among women? After all, I am a man and I may not have many contacts, but this is a mother’s encouragement to her daughter.

At first glance, it doesn’t seem to mean much. In particular, this means that a woman has finally raised her child, and you have finally accomplished your goal, but if you think about it carefully, there are still several problems:

First: This is the end. What about your life?

Second: Is your life just that difficult?

Third: How much do you hate your mother-in-law? It would be better if you become a mother-in-law!

In fact, there is something to be said for everything here! After all, life, after all, process, such as purpose, etc., but I don’t want to talk about it today. What I want to say is "Bou Cheng Po". So what are you going to do after you say my "Bou Cheng Po" is my mother-in-law?

Think about it, when will someone tell you that your daughter-in-law will eventually become a mother-in-law? It must be something wrong with you. When you blame your mother-in-law, you say this and that. , others will say, he is an elder, you should do what you want, when you become like her, it will be fine.

Assuming this premise is true, let’s consider the current situation. , It’s actually getting better now, but if someone still says this, it means that this group of people still have relatively traditional ideas. So what does this sentence mean for you?

When you were a daughter-in-law, you were told that, simply put, you were wrong about everything; but one day, when you became a mother-in-law, you were right about everything!

It’s so illogical! What a saying, but it has been praised as a wise saying by so many people for so many years. What an incredible society and era!

We were students when we were young, but when we grow up, we may Become a teacher, but have you ever seen a person who made a mistake and became a teacher just because he was old?

Obviously it is impossible, but the real society is indeed so practical, and it has always been with us? It is really happening around us, and this is the most ironic thing! The last sentence of a daughter-in-law who has been married for 30 years has become a mother-in-law 2

There is a Chinese saying, "A daughter-in-law who has been married for many years has become a mother-in-law". This is mainly because Regarding the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the feudal society in the past, at that time, men were superior to women, and women had no status at home. Only when the third generation was born and the son she gave birth to took charge of the family, did the mother become a mother based on the son's wealth. The "old lady" in the family refers to Jia Mu in Cao Xueqin's "Dream of Red Mansions", also known as Shi Taijun. This is a typical figure of "a daughter-in-law who has been married for many years becomes a mother-in-law".

But today’s society is different from ancient times. Although absolute equality between men and women cannot be achieved, people’s thinking is gradually progressing, and women’s status has also been greatly improved compared to before. Women’s awareness of independence Also gradually awakened. Now if we continue to use the same old methods to "discipline" our daughter-in-law, that would be really out of date! However, many mothers-in-law obviously do not realize this and even feel that what they do is not wrong. Today Qing Huan is going to analyze with everyone, is this kind of mother-in-law who has been a daughter-in-law for many years really doing nothing wrong?

Although many people have now settled down and established businesses in cities, it is undeniable that even a few generations back, the roots still grow from the soil. As Fei Xiaotong said, "From the grassroots level, Chinese society is rural." In one sentence, he clarified the fundamental nature of Chinese sociology. There is a professional term in sociology - organic unity. To put it bluntly, this organic unity is a polite society, which is a custom that China has inherited for many years.

Precisely because we all grow up in a relatively familiar, even closed and familiar environment, we usually come into contact with people and things that we are familiar with. Whether it is your elders, your peers, or even people after you get married, such as your parents-in-law.

Why do I mention rural areas here? Because farmers have been farming for generations, they do not need to progress in many aspects of knowledge or even thinking. Therefore, their thoughts are relatively conservative, such as their preference for sons over daughters, their attitude towards conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and even marriage.

Just like our parents, even if two people have no feelings, they can still stay together for a lifetime, not because of how powerful the relationship is, but because their parents and people around them tell them to "live life together" Well, if it’s not like that, can we still get divorced?” Even now, I still hear similar words from time to time. Therefore, divorce is subconsciously excluded from the brain.

No matter how incompatible the two are, even quarreling, fighting, or being beaten, even so, people still do not regard divorce as their option. Here, there are those who continue to quarrel, those who are separated, and those who live their own lives without interfering, but there is rarely the option of "divorce" because they find it embarrassing.

Similar things extend to all aspects, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is no exception. Precisely because of the lack of timely ideological progress, some rural areas still regard women's rights as nothing, and even women are still helping the evildoers. Continuing with the topic above, it is precisely because of growing up in a closed and familiar environment. Precisely because of familiarity, people can accept the so-called "experience" instilled in them by others without thinking. Precisely because of familiarity, they never ask so many questions. Asking why, it is because of familiarity that one will imitate the other person invisibly.

Therefore, there are many examples of the following: Because my mother-in-law treated me this way before, now that I have become a mother-in-law, I will treat my daughter-in-law this way. No matter whether my daughter-in-law is really a bastard or really filial, in short, I will treat my mother-in-law how she treats me. Who made my daughter-in-law of many years become a mother-in-law?

There is a saying that everyone must be familiar with: "I finally became the person I hate." This is exactly related to this. Subtly, I am imitating The appearance that I hate, in order to better integrate into this society. Because everyone is like this. If I am not like this, then I am different.

But for all the women who have become mothers-in-law, have you ever thought about what your daughter-in-law did wrong? Why do they have to suffer such unreasonable disasters? Why take your own unwillingness and force it on your daughter-in-law? The one who treats you badly is your mother-in-law. Maybe you were once a very filial daughter-in-law, or maybe because of the hardships of life, you are no longer the silly and innocent self you were, but your daughter-in-law has nothing to do with your past!

As the saying goes, don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you. Why should you repeat what you don’t want to experience on others and vent your resentment against your mother-in-law on your daughter-in-law? In this way, you are happy, but your son and daughter-in-law are not happy. How long do you think your happiness can last?

Because you have been made things difficult for yourself, now you have to make things difficult for your daughter-in-law. If this vicious cycle continues, you will never get out of this vicious circle. If you can live a peaceful life, why bother stubbornly playing the role of a bad guy? You must know that the person who once made things difficult for you was not your daughter-in-law, but another person. The person who once bullied you was not your daughter-in-law, but your mother-in-law. The two are not necessarily connected and cannot be equated. Therefore, Don't take out your anger from the older generation on the next generation.

Today’s elderly people just hope that their family and everything will be prosperous when they get older. If they can really enjoy a better life, why should they put themselves at the center of the conflict? Whether you are doing this now or are planning to do it, please stop because your daughter-in-law should not have to pay for your mother-in-law's mistakes.

Everything has passed, why bother clinging to the past and never forgetting it? If you can, let all unpleasantness disappear from you. I believe that for a peaceful and beautiful life, everyone is more willing to choose a peaceful life than a life of venting anger. In fact, as a mother-in-law, why aren’t you like this?

Children and grandchildren will have their own blessings. Let them live their own lives. As long as they can be filial to the elderly and live a good life, let them be, while they can still run, or Walking around, or helping to look after the grandchildren, and having a happy family is the life you have longed for in your heart.