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Impetuousness is a complex and mysterious state of mind that each of us will experience. It often gives us a sense of powerlessness, "riding a tiger with difficulty".

I wonder if you feel this way?

Even though I have put in twice as much effort as others, why don’t the flowers and applause come?

If I choose to give up now, all my previous efforts will be in vain, and I am so unhappy; if I continue, I will feel deeply confused and anxious!

As a result, the impetuous waves began to stir up waves in the heart, making people restless and "doing" like a needle felt.

Although you have been deeply involved in a certain industry for decades, there is no Internet celebrity that has just become more influential?

In that case, then choose another track? However, is it still too late to choose another track? Could it be that decades of hard work have really been in vain? Doesn’t it mean that God will favor every child who works hard?

As a result, the impetuous flame began to be ignited in the heart. The raging fire caught people off guard and made them unable to fight back.

What is the essence of impetuousness?

The essence of impetuosity, in the final analysis, is that we fail to achieve our expectations, we feel disappointed with ourselves, and a sense of frustration falls from our hearts, causing us to temporarily lose the motivation to act.

So, how can we overcome the impetuousness in our hearts?

01

Learn to delay gratification and retreat from impetuousness

In the 1960s, Walter Mischel, a psychology professor at Stanford University in the United States, designed a "marshmallow experiment."

It has three rules:

First, if the child eats the marshmallow immediately, No rewards will be given.

Second, if the child can wait for the researcher to come back before eating, he will get an extra marshmallow as a reward.

The last rule, if the child can’t wait, he can ring the bell to let the researcher return and then eat the marshmallow, but like the first rule, there is no reward. .

After the experiment began, most of the children could not withstand the temptation and ate the marshmallows; only a small number of children resisted their desires and waited for the researchers to come back. Eat the marshmallow.

Eighteen years after the experiment ended, follow-up research found that children who have the self-control to withstand temptation are more likely to succeed in academic and career development as adults, and The children who gorged themselves on the candy and hurriedly ate it were a far cry from each other.

This is the experiment about "delayed gratification" proposed by Professor Michel.

Delayed gratification, English is "deferred gratification", the literal translation is "delayed gratification".

Delay your satisfaction with certain desires and view your efforts from a developmental perspective.

Confucius said: "If there is no desire for speed, there is no desire for small gains. If you want haste, you will not achieve anything, and if you see small gains, you will not achieve great things." It means, don't blindly seek speed, Don't be greedy for small profits. Simply seeking speed will fail to achieve the goal, and coveting small profits will fail to achieve great things.

If you only covet the pleasure of success in front of you, even if you "succeed", it will only be short-lived.

If you know how to control your desires, you will not lose your mind and panic in the process of pursuit.

We must look at our efforts from a development perspective. Not every effort will yield immediate returns. If we give up halfway, there will definitely be no returns.

Only by delaying gratification can you defeat the impetuousness in your heart.

02

Learn to enjoy the process and retreat without attacking

There was a little Taoist boy who had just practiced Taoism for less than a year. The Taoist asked: "Master, how long will it take for my qualifications to achieve enlightenment?"

The Taoist said: "Ten years."

The little Taoist boy said in surprise: "Will it take another ten years? Master, if I double my hard work, how long will it take to become enlightened?"

Tao Chang Yu said earnestly: "It will take twenty years."

The little Taoist boy asked in confusion: "If I race against time and practice hard, how long will it take to become enlightened?" < /p>

The Taoist priest looked at the sky and said: "In that case, you will never be enlightened."

The little Taoist boy was anxious and asked: "Why?"

The little Taoist boy suddenly realized that from then on, he practiced diligently beside the Taoist master, and he never stopped practicing. Let’s ask about enlightenment again.

Many times, when we see our friends at the same time doing better than us, we will fall into a quagmire of impatience. Just like a little Taoist boy, I can't help but ask them how I can do as well as they do.

But often the more we care about the results, the less satisfactory the results will be.

Only by enjoying the process, impetuousness will retreat.

03

Learn to focus on the present, and impetuousness disappears

Nietzsche said, "If your emotions are always out of control, You will be led by it and lose your freedom."

Impetuousness is also a kind of emotion.

Sometimes, it is fleeting in our hearts and has excellent self-healing ability; sometimes, it is like the female cycle in our hearts, which makes people upset. a few days.

Impetuous is a very mysterious word. If we don't blur it, we will be led by it.

A traveler asked the old monk: "What were you doing before you attained enlightenment?"

The old monk said: " Chopping firewood, carrying water, and cooking."

The traveler asked again: "What happens after you attain enlightenment?"

The old man. The monk said: "Chop wood, carry water, and cook."

The traveler asked: "Then what is the Tao?"

The old monk said: "Before attaining the Tao, when cutting firewood, you thought about carrying water, and when carrying water, you thought about cooking; after getting it, cutting wood means cutting wood, carrying water means carrying water, and cooking means cooking."

When we focus on the present, the impetuousness in our hearts will naturally be blurred, and we will not even be aware of its existence.

Because we only have what we are doing at the moment in our minds, and our minds are focused on the present moment. After the body and mind are united, how can there be any space for impetuousness to creep in?

Only by focusing on the present will impetuousness disappear.

Fangjiang said, I hope you live like an adult and live like a child. Hold on to your love, keep your original intention, and use your hot words to stir up a sparkling life!

04

If you learn to face impetuousness, you will be victorious

In the face of impetuousness, you If you are strong, it will be weak; if you are weak, it will be strong.

We must be the masters of emotions. When they invade, we first stabilize the camp, just like marching to fight, and we must not weaken our momentum.

When impetuosity does not invade, we must also be fully prepared, adjust our emotions, strengthen our minds, seize the absolute initiative, be unexpected, and be ready to fight. win.

In fact, impetuousness is not terrible.

Just like human growth is inevitable, impetuosity is also an emotional expression in each of us, and almost everyone will experience it.

When it comes, we fight it off, ignore it, and blur it. Soldiers will block it, and water will cover it. Only by facing its existence can we not be led by it.

Only by facing impetuousness can we know ourselves and our enemies and be victorious in every battle.

***Mian.

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