We seem to usher in a new era in which women dare to live their own lives, but the reality is that many women live in the definition.
"Girls should give priority to their families, and their careers should not be so preoccupied!"
"Girls should be soft and weak. You are so boyish, how can you get married?"
"I'm not married at the age of 3. I'm an older woman."
These rules and regulations, like chains, trap women inside. Everything seems to come from because you are a girl.
"Women should not be defined. Every woman can be confident, happy and exude the fragrance of life regardless of the eyes of the outside world."
Niki de saint Phalle, one of the most important feminist artists in the 2th century, said.
For women, in today's era, how can they truly love themselves and live their true selves without being defined?
how do women love themselves and live their true selves?
1. Establish a sense of boundary
A sense of boundary is the bottom line that individuals create for themselves, so as to distinguish what is reasonable and safe and how others treat themselves is allowed.
Clear boundaries can help women have a sensitive and firm will, realize who they are, and explore the true appearance of others, so as to avoid being violated or being influenced by external definitions.
2. To establish a good personal boundary, there are three suggestions for reference:
a. Clarify your own boundary and bottom line.
perhaps the first thing we need to think about is what responsibilities you need to bear when playing different social roles, and which responsibilities you should not bear. And whether the other party has the right to interfere with your choices and decisions; Or if so, to what extent.
B. Be selfish.
Perhaps many women are influenced by social labels and put others' emotions above their own feelings. But what I want to share is that perhaps "putting yourself first" is not a selfish or completely negative sentence.
Because setting personal boundaries requires us to recognize our own importance and respect our feelings. The way to make the relationship more stable and win respect may not be to indulge blindly, but to please yourself.
C. learn to say "no".
some of the attitudes of others towards you are taught by you. Therefore, it is very important for women to learn self-determination and rejection to establish and maintain boundaries. Maybe you will find it difficult to say it at first, or you are afraid that you will lose each other's love after refusing.
However, perhaps true love will not disappear because you choose to love yourself or refuse to be manipulated.
3. Be responsible for your own actions
There is an idea in humanistic psychology: everyone should be responsible for his own actions, that is, everyone is an independent individual with his own thoughts to make his own choices.
At the same time, being responsible for your own actions is also conveying a firm position to the outside world, and putting all decisions under your own control may be an effective way to get out of the definition and live your true self.
As Jaspers mentioned, the individual's ego first comes from ta's being alive, but his resistance to this world. When a woman reflects on her time and environment and is responsible for herself, she has a self and a historical perspective.
I hope that all women can get rid of the shackles of "social vision" on themselves as much as possible, work hard and please themselves, and teach others to respect themselves while respecting others.