Actually, I know you like me over the years, and so do I. I often even think of some disgraceful things when I face you, and I often take these thoughts back only after I realize them.

This sentence was said by the married Huang Bo to a girl. Such an honest expression cannot be said casually. You must have experienced something.

What did you experience?

If one day, a light suddenly falls, and after being hit by the light, many people disappear. Afterwards, some people say that the people who were taken away by the light are all people who truly love each other, then the remaining couples and lovers , how to live your life?

This passage was said in this context. It was Huang Bo who spoke, but it was not him, but a character he played in a movie. The movie is called "The Man Caught by the Light", and Huang Bo played the role of a married man struggling in real life.

This is a movie from 19 years. It was not popular, but it told some heart-wrenching truths, such as this sentence. As the old saying goes: If you don’t want others to know you, you have to do nothing yourself. It is difficult for only God and earth to know what we have done. But what everyone thinks about may not even heaven and earth know.

Adults also admit (whether they want to admit it or not) that there are many things that are not black and white, and it is not clear whether they are black or white, such as love or not love. Suppose there are two pipes filling the pond with water at the same time. One pipe brings groundwater and the other pipe brings tap water. When the pond is full, who can tell whether there is more tap water or groundwater in the pond? ?

Love is like this. Two people have been together for several years, sharing the same concerns and interests. Who can tell whether there is more love or family affection in this relationship? Or is it more love or sex and interests? The person involved can’t explain it clearly, and outsiders can’t even explain it. If you can't explain it clearly, the person concerned can explain it by himself. If he says he has it, then he has it, if he doesn't, he can also pretend that he has it. Anyone who dares to jump out and say that you don't have it is a shameless person with bad intentions. This creates a delicate balance. For some, it is a piece of defensive armor, and for others, it is an emperor's new clothes.

No matter what it is, after that beam of light has passed, the couples and lovers who remain do not really love each other. They have to face this reality to their other half and the whole world.

The story begins here.

Everyone agrees that there is no standard for love, but everyone agrees with the role of that light. Because it’s what authorities say, it’s what scientists say, or it’s what everyone is saying. This kind of behavior is called the "herd effect" in social psychology. Those who have watched "The Crowd" must be familiar with this term. As the name suggests, the bandwagon effect is to follow the crowd and agree with the opinions of the majority.

But there is obviously a problem with this mentality, that is, if the majority is wrong, you will also be wrong, and when you also admit it, you will become the majority, and this group will become even more If it gets bigger, the group will get bigger, which will affect more people and form a cycle. In the end, people only see how many people believe it, and no one will think about whether the thing itself is right or not.

When people are fooled by the herd effect and believe that they have no true love, they will show two different states. There are two couples in the movie, one is Wu Wenxue (Huang Bo) and the other is Zhao Feng (Huang Jue). Wu Wenxue accepted his fate, but he didn't want to admit the reality. He wanted to lose face and risked his life to prove to the world that he and his wife were truly in love. They had other reasons. Zhao Feng and his wife were on the contrary. They seemed to be inseparable, and there were people outside. After being exposed to the light, he accepted his fate and started a salon where a group of married people talked about life, relationships and happiness.

The path of martial arts, which is so prestigious, is very hard. There are three scenes in the whole movie, which reflect Huang Bo's actor-level acting skills. The first scene is the class reunion, which can be called "the hypocrisy of the class reunion". He and his wife are classmates, so they attend the class reunion together. Before going, he spent money to buy a fake ticket and took a photo to prove that his wife was not at home on the day of the photo and they were far apart, so it was normal that he was not taken away. At the dinner party, he deliberately brought the topic to this topic. After being questioned, he shouted that the couple was still married yesterday, proving that they still love each other. Through the screen, you can feel his wife's embarrassment.

Whether you love someone or not should be your own business. It is the face of life. For him, it has become the face of life. The result of fighting to save face is to suffer.

Wu Wenxue also felt that what he did at the class reunion was not human affairs. He came back to apologize to his wife, but unexpectedly found that his wife was talking to another man on WeChat. This man was Zhao Feng. His wife told Zhao Feng on WeChat that they no longer had the same language. They were trying hard to support the family just for the sake of their mother-in-law and children, but now she felt that they could no longer hold on.

Wu Wenxue went to find Zhao Feng. On the surface it was a theory, but in fact he wanted to know if anything happened between Zhao Feng and his wife. Unexpectedly, not only did he ignore it, but he also asked Zhao Feng to educate him, saying that his wife was already desperate, and desperate people would look for an exit, so they found him. He also helped him decide that the couple no longer had love, so they might as well live more authentically, tear off the disguise, and invited Wu Wenxue to their salon.

Wu Wenxue was a bit confused at this point. He didn’t know if his wife had cheated on her, but he must have cheated on her, and he couldn’t control it. At this time, one of his single female colleagues took the initiative to confess to him that she fell in love with him. He even went behind his wife's back and asked a colleague to rent a room, hence the paragraph at the beginning of the article.

This is Huang Bo's second scene showing his superb acting skills. It can be called "Confession in the Hourly Room". Before this, he had always thought that the problem between their couple was due to his wife, and he was innocent. Only now did he realize that he had also had thoughts about others, and he had had many disgraceful thoughts. Maybe he was responsible for not being taken away by the light.

“We are all too confident and think that others are hell, but who can control hell?”

At this point, the question arises, what should we do? If there is no love, or if you don’t know if there is love anymore, how should you live your life?

Is it okay to be true to your heart and play casually like Zhao Feng and his wife? In the final analysis, this kind of behavior is just messing up the relationship between men and women with confidence and peace of mind. They keep talking about freedom, but there is no responsibility to restrain their feelings. It is not called freedom, but indulgence. And this way of dealing with it is not looking for love, but downplaying marriage. Marriage requires monogamy, and love requires the same pairing of two people for a lifetime, equally exclusive. At that time, Sartre and Beauvoir agreed to love each other for the rest of their lives without getting married, and at the same time they would not interfere with each other's relationships with their lovers. It sounds like philosophers have a nobler personality and can think more openly. But in fact, they are also jealous, and their level of vulgarity is no different from ordinary people.

Love is inherently exclusive. Even without the constraints of marriage, it can only be between two people. Zhao Feng believes that barely maintaining a marriage is the emperor's new clothes, so what is the difference between his unfettered freedom and streaking on the street?

Is that the method of martial arts literature right? If it's for each other, it's right. If it's just for yourself, just to show others, it's wrong.

Relationships such as husband and wife and lovers always have to face the onlookers of relatives and friends, and they will inevitably face comparisons. The most important thing is to stick to their own standards, break the group effect first, and not let the majority People are deprived of their right to speak. But how to prove that it is true love? Can the person involved just insist on it?

There is another couple in the movie. In order to prove his love for his girlfriend, the boy jumped off the building. Fortunately, he did not die. In the hospital, the girl said to her boyfriend: Both of us can die for each other. If this is not true love, then it doesn't matter to me.

Death to prove one's ambition can prove true love, but the risk is too great. If everyone dies, what's the use of proving it? In daily life, you may never encounter a situation where you need to die for your partner. Most of them just live a normal life. In ordinary daily life, we seem to be unable to prove anything, and instead are troubled by many problems. The trivialities, worries, accommodations, and tolerance in life are like needles piercing the skin. Every blow is not fatal, it just stings. But if you are pricked too much, it will still hurt, and you will wonder, why do you have to endure it?

At this time, you have to give yourself a reason or some comfort, and wandering in your mind and some not-so-glorious thoughts may be the only way to comfort you. This is what Wu Wenxu thinks about his female colleagues and how his wife confides in Zhao Feng. Life is so long, how can we live without this kind of spiritual deviance? Of course, there is no best. Living a life without any troubles is a blessing given by God. There is no deviant thought in a life, and it is an admirable moral model.

But more couples are just two ordinary people, facing a life full of problems. When you are exhausted, don’t you even have the right to think about it? This is too harsh.

But that’s it, it starts with an idea and ends with an idea. Feng Youlan, a master of traditional Chinese culture, has a famous saying: If you are extravagant in your thoughts, you should only stop in your life.

Wu Wenxue finally figured it out in the hourly room, overcame the herd effect, put down his face, and confessed himself. His realization is: This light will not give us any answers. It will only test us, illuminate our inner projection, and allow us to truly understand ourselves and then live well.

At the end of the movie, Wu Wenxue returned home. In the kitchen, the couple confessed their loyalty to each other, and he said "I love you" with a clear conscience. After crying, the two cook together. This is Huang Bo's third show showing his acting skills. It can be called "True Love in Everyday Life". The figure from behind chopping vegetables, cooking vegetables, and washing pots brings ordinary life to life.

The law will only punish those who commit criminal acts and will not arrest those who only have criminal thoughts. Just thinking about it doesn’t break the law, it’s just doing it. Wu Wenxu and his wife were able to reconcile and resolve problems because they kept the bottom line in their behavior. Many things in reality are like this. Just think, there is still hope. Once you do it, you can't go back.