Stephen Chow’s classic lines and funny dialogues
1. Actually, I am an actor. (The King of Comedy)
2. Flying is Xiao Li’s flying knife, and the knife is Xiao Li’s flying knife. (Domestic 007)
3. I accepted You (Westward Journey)
4. You should go back to Mars, the earth is very dangerous. (Shaolin Football)
5. My admiration for you is like a torrent of water, which is endless, and like the Yellow River's dike that is out of control. (The Deer and the Cauldron)
6. Can you have some professionalism! (King of Comedy)
7. Even chickens are patriotic! (Jigong)
8. In ancient times, it was said that Yun Chang played chess and scraped bones to heal his wounds. Today, I am watching 007 A and taking bullets. (Domestic 007)
9. The third master of one village, two li, who does not know the Four Books, Five Classics and Six Changes is very bold to teach seven or eighty-nine people. Nine out of ten families are poor, and they can still collect eighty-two cents and six cents. Five cents and four cents and half-hearted and wait for the next stay (Tang Bohu points to the autumn fragrance)
10. Wife, come out with the Bull Demon King to see God! (Westward Journey)
11. Do you need a reason to like someone? Need it? Don't need it? Need it? (Westward Journey)
12. Humans are born from human beings, monsters are born from monsters. As long as you have a kind heart, you are no longer a monster, but a human monster? (Westward Journey)
13. What is your mother’s surname? (Westward Journey)
14. Wukong, you are naughty again. How can you talk to Sister Guanyin like this? (Westward Journey)
15. Even a pair of underwear and toilet paper have their uses. (Domestic 007)
16. Do you think I can’t find you if I hide here? It's useless. No matter where you are, an outstanding man like you is like a firefly in the night, so bright and outstanding. Your melancholy eyes, thin beard, miraculous knife skills, and that glass of Dry Martine all fascinated me deeply. No matter what, you will always be my unique and personable pork prince. (Domestic 007)
17. Da Vinci: I found a part-time job doing research at the Central Mental Hospital. Question: What kind of research work?
Da Vinci Q&A: Being studied! (Domestic 007)
18. I am both beautiful and intelligent, the embodiment of hero and chivalry - Tang Bohu . (Tang Bohu ordered Qiuxiang)
19. I can get hundreds of thousands per second. Will I go eat chop suey noodles with you? (Shaolin Football)
20. Sir, you have a sky-high bone in your forehead and a bright light in your eyes. You are the reincarnation of an immortal and the descendant of a god. I am finally waiting for you. Don’t leave. Even if I reveal the secret, disaster is inevitable. But I am destined, even if I have to take great risks, I will still show you the hologram. (God of Cookery)
21. The alkaline water surface has not been submerged in cold water, so the noodles are full of alkaline water flavor. The fish balls also don’t have a fishy taste, but in order to hide it, you specially added curry sauce and wanted to make it into curry fish balls. But this is too naive, because you don’t cook it for enough time, and the flavor of the curry is only on the surface and does not penetrate into the inside at all. When the fish balls are put into the soup, they will be diluted. A good curry fish ball will make you have neither fish flavor nor curry flavor. Fail! I haven’t picked the radish, there are too many tendons, it’s a failure! The pork skin was overcooked and there was no bite, so it was a failure! The pig's blood is so pulpy that it falls apart as soon as you pinch it. It's a failure within a failure! The worst thing is the large intestine. It has not been cleaned at all and there is still a piece of shit. Did you make a mistake? Hey, there is shit. Hey, there is shit. Have you seen it? Hey, there is a piece of shit! (God of Cookery)
22. In this drama, she fully demonstrated the sadness and frustration of a wife abandoned by her husband. She can act in all aspects, including eyes, expressions, movements and behaviors. The film is meticulous and penetrating, especially the action of throwing off the horse at the end, which is more able to express post-modernism and a strong accusation against this society. (Ouchi Secret Agent)
23. In fact, I am a prankster who changes the social atmosphere, enchants thousands of girls, stimulates the movie market, and improves the inner connotation of young people. My name is Gu Jing, whose English name is Jing Koo!
24. Let me introduce you to Pizzad’s boyfriend. He is not very good-looking, has a tacky hairstyle, is uneducated, is extremely poor, and has so-so sexual abilities. But he is still a talented person!
25. Ah Shui is famous for picking up countless girls and is a thorn in the side of all us men. His elegant figure exudes seductive charm that all girls find irresistible. With his heart-breaking eyes, no matter how cold and arrogant a woman is, they will all be melted by his gentle eyes. He is universally recognized as the love saint of the neighborhood and the soul of Lucky Tea Restaurant. Everyone knows him - Prince Egg Tower. .
26. He is arrogant, but kind-hearted. He is low-key, but admired by thousands of people. He can use the fire given by God to mankind to perfection, and cook super dishes that can be called the art of fire. Shi, is he the incarnation of a god? Or the messenger of hell? No one knows, but it is certain that everyone gives him a title - the God of Food! (God of Cookery)
27. Is this true? ! What you said cannot be ignored! good! I am Tang Bohu, who is both beautiful and intelligent, the embodiment of heroism and chivalry! (Tang Bohu points to Qiuxiang)
28. Sweeping the floor is just my superficial job. My true identity is a graduate student. (Kung Fu Football)
29. Sir: I have a green dragon on the left, a white tiger on the right, an old ox on my waist, and a dragon head on my chest. If someone blocks me, I will kill someone, if I block Buddha, I will kill Buddha! (Tang Bohu lights the autumn incense)
30. The poor monk is the abbot of Shaolin Temple, and his dharma name is Mengwei. Amitabha, I come with the wind and go with the wind... (God of Cookery)
31. Wow, wow, wow~~~Okay! To be honest, little brother, I am Zhou Botong, the little nymphomaniac known as Yushu Linfengsheng Pan An, and a plum flower crushing the begonia!
32. With your wisdom, can I fool you?
33. I am not afraid to tell you that I have seen flying saucers since I was a kid, which is what the world calls UFO. Do you understand UFOs? When I was 4 years old, I saw the legendary Loch Ness Monster, and I chatted and played guessing games with the Bigfoot in the Himalayas. In addition, I have been playing roller coasters every morning and evening since I was a child. I also play the pirate ship in the morning, the roller coaster in the evening, and the pirate ship in the evening. I have tried it many times, I tell you.
34. Ah! Master's thinking is really as powerful as sailing against the current. He is so powerful that he deserves to be king with his ideas.
35. Good! He stuffed it in without thinking. He was worthy of being a slutty man. I love you! ! !
36. Do you think I can’t find you if I hide? It's no use! An outstanding man like you is as bright and outstanding as a firefly in the dark no matter where he is. Your melancholy eyes, faint chirping, miraculous knife skills, and glass of Dry Martine all fascinated me deeply. However, although this is such a wonderful thing, there are rules in the industry. No matter what, you have to pay for last night's overnight stay. Don't you need to pay if you ask a woman?
37. It is our responsibility as citizens to eliminate violence and maintain good behavior, and it is also my own interest to do good deeds and accumulate virtue, so I help the old lady cross the road once a week, and I do it three or four times on Sundays and public holidays.
38. Wrong! This is not an ordinary box, it is the God in the Box, or the Box God for short!
39. Good deeds have good causes, evil deeds have bad retributions, the laws of nature are cyclical, and God is fair. I once caught a dragon rooster by mistake. Today, the emperor caught me. It is indeed educational. I admire the emperor. The heart is like the endless flow of a surging river, and like the overflowing Yellow River, which is out of control. (The Deer and the Cauldron)
40. His martial arts skills are called the Nine Heavens and Ten Earths. The Bodhisattva shakes his head in fear and splits the golden light, thunder and lightning palm! With one strike, all humans, animals, shrimps, crabs, and fleas within a radius of a hundred miles were turned into ashes!
41. Let me tell you, when dealing with this kind of woman, you must use a condescending look and a strong arm to rescue her from the sea of ??desire.
Quotations from Stephen Chow's movies
Humiliation and begging for mercy:
1. With your wisdom, it is difficult for me to explain to you!
2. Shit, you are a puddle of shit. Life is cheaper than ants. I drive a Mercedes, you pick your nose. Have a meal! ? Eat shit, you!
3. The alkaline water surface has not been submerged in cold water, so the noodles are full of alkaline water smell. The fish balls also don’t have a fishy taste, but in order to hide it, you specially added curry sauce and wanted to make it into curry fish balls. But this is too naive, because you don’t cook it for enough time, and the flavor of the curry is only on the surface and does not penetrate into the inside at all. When the fish balls are put into the soup, they will be diluted. A good curry fish ball will make you have neither fish flavor nor curry flavor. Fail! I haven’t picked the radish, there are too many tendons, it’s a failure! The pork skin was overcooked and there was no bite, so it was a failure! The pig's blood is so pulpy that it falls apart as soon as you pinch it. It's a failure within a failure! The worst thing is the large intestine. It has not been cleaned at all and there is still a piece of shit. Did you make a mistake? Hey, there is shit. Hey, there is shit. Have you seen it? Hey, there is a piece of shit!
4. Ridiculous! I dare to say boldly, no one dares to pretend in front of me, please be quiet!
5. When cutting your hair, you shouldn’t just follow the trends based on how other people cut your hair. You have to cooperate! Look at your hairstyle, it doesn’t match your face shape at all, it doesn’t match your body shape, and your body shape doesn’t match your hair style at all, and it’s extremely unmatched! ! Brother Huan! What on earth do you want?
6. What did you say? Are you able to tell lies like this? Are you sorry for your conscience? Are you sorry for your parents? Is it worthy of this country? You hurry up and hold a press conference to clarify, otherwise I will peel off your skin, break your bones, and drink your blood!
7. Sister, you are not afraid of others laughing at you. Even dogs will faint if you are careful.
8. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It is your parents who made you look like this.
9. What do you think? When will it be my turn to think? !
10. Don’t blame me for being too frank! Just with these rotten sweet potatoes and rotten bird eggs, it would be too childish for you to want to take my life! ! ! !
11. It’s really disappointing. Hearing your voice, I thought you were a very emotional person with a lot of movie fantasy. Looking at your appearance, I can tell that you have no connotation.
12. Boss lady: You gave birth to a son without an asshole, your father sells assholes, you have a rotten asshole yourself, and you love to eat chicken assholes. Big butt, you don’t have any business, why are you here to make trouble with me?
13. Boss lady: You don’t need to make trouble, I will reveal my background. My father died when I was three, my father died when I was four, my father died when I was five, six, seven or eight. I seduced men when I was ten, seduced men when I was eleven, and your man was also seduced by me.
14. Bao Longxing: You have a lemon head, mouse eyes, a hooked nose, splayed eyebrows, windy ears, a big turned mouth, old Qiang teeth, a wick neck, high and low shoulders, long and short hands, chicken breasts, A dog's belly, a loser's waist, if I were you, I would commit suicide a long time ago
15. Bohu, don't be so cruel, okay? The worst case scenario is that I swear, if I gamble again in the future, I will let the ugliest woman in the world gang-rape me every night until my body is completely bruised and crumbling. Is that okay?
16. Girls, please have mercy on me. All six of my family died in one night. I am infected with tenth-grade tuberculosis. Half of it is for sale, half of it is free, so just buy it from me.
17. Fate is really unfair. Why do I lose my hair even though I am so handsome? You are so ugly but don’t lose your hair.
18. Why do you treat me like a pig? You let me sleep as soon as you see me.
Self-narration type:
1. You go first, I will wait until my legs are not shaking so much and my heartbeat is not so chaotic.
2. Thirty years ago, when I was in middle school, I really thought about her all the time. Sometimes I would suddenly stop peeing, and then think of her, and my heart would feel sweet. After that half soak, I forgot to pee.
3. The bullet penetrated my thigh bone, compressed my aorta, and blocked my trigeminal nerve. Now the left side of my brain is hypoxic and paralyzed, and the right half of my body is paralyzed. (Tear open my pants) Be sure to cut the wound with a knife to remove the bullet.
4. What I mean is that this method of mine was used by the ancient miracle doctor Hua Tuo. In ancient times, there was a story about Yun Chang concentrating on playing chess and scraping bones to cure poison. Today, I, 007, concentrate on watching an A-movie, digging out bones and extracting warheads, starting -
5. A knife on the head, from the forehead to the nose, that (referring to stall), right in front of his stall, the tail keel was chopped several times, two tendons were broken, the trigeminal nerve was suppressed, the central system of the brain was affected, and even the teeth came out.
6. After beheading the chicken head, burning the yellow paper, and making an alliance with blood, Wei Xiaobao, you will be my brother of the Heaven and Earth Society, and you will be temporarily incorporated into the Qingmu Hall. We have ten major rules, twenty major codes, thirty major commandments, and eighty minor commandments. If you violate any of them, even if you are my disciple, you will be stabbed to death ninety-nine and eighty-one times.
7. In this way, I am a person with very complicated feelings. If a person with very complicated feelings only loves you, he will become emotionally defective. As an emotionally defective person, you Even if I had him forever, it would be useless.
8.) Wangcai... Wangcai...
Wangcai, you can't die. Wangcai, you have been with me for so many years, You are kind and loyal to me, and treat me with sincerity, but now I haven't even given you a full meal. I'm sorry for you, Wangcai!
Xiaoqiang! Xiaoqiang, what's wrong with you, Xiaoqiang? Xiaoqiang, you can't die! You and I have been dependent on each other for so many years, and we have been teaching you and raising you as if you were my own flesh and blood. I never thought that today, a white-haired person would give a black-haired person a gift!
Short sentence categories:
1. Human, the villain originally lived on the edge of the city of Suzhou. He had a house and fields at home, and his life was full of joy. Who would have thought that Tang Bohu was so arrogant and merciless that he colluded with the officials to occupy my big house and seize my land. My grandfather fell out with him, but he beat him down with a stick. My grandmother scolded him for deceiving good people, but he took him to the Tang Mansion and gang-raped her a hundred times. In the end, she hanged herself from the beam and hated the world. He also drove my father and son out of their home and lived by the river. In order to support my father, I had to beg alone in front of the temple. Who would have thought that Tang Bohu, who was so insidious and knew about this situation, actually sent people to plot against me and beat my father and son wildly in front of the market. The young man was strong and survived, but the poor old father died! This hatred is even harder to fill. In order to bury his father, he had no choice but to sell himself into slavery and make money while studying.
I vowed to show my fame and kill my enemies with my strong will! From now on, Tang Yin's collection of poems will be with me, and I will remember that this hatred will not last forever! ! !
2. On a dark and windy eerie night, I am the Supreme Treasure and you are Bai Jingjing. The wonderful love begins from this ignition on the bridge. As soon as I turned around, you suddenly pointed at me, and my whole hand was on fire.
You have to rush over and desperately fight hard. Isn't it like this? It's like this, so that is it, do you see it? I can describe the future development as a sudden turn of events, because suddenly a Bull Demon King appeared. At that time, after you fought against the Bull Demon King with a bone in your hand, you captured me back to the Pansi Cave. The saying that time flies is indeed true at all, because it only took a blink of an eye to reach the main event. On Broken Rock, it was when feelings broke out. I touched you desperately and you touched me desperately, and we made an oath to never be separated. It's a pity that happiness is always short-lived, and all you get in return is infinite pain and sighs. Why will you die? I had to use the Moonlight Box to turn back time and find out the truth, and finally I found out that you committed suicide! At the last moment I can finally save you! But the last time I went back in time, the Moonlight Treasure Box malfunctioned and I "chirped" back to five hundred years ago... That's it.
Conversation type:
A: Ten years, it has been ten years, I thought the country had forgotten me.
B: How could it be? Even a pair of underwear or a piece of toilet paper has its use.
A: Really, if I lie to you, I guarantee that I will give birth to a son without an asshole
B: Looking at you, I will definitely give birth to a son without an asshole. Even if there is one, it will be a deformed butthole. !
A: Who are you?
B: The world is dangerous and I never leave my name easily.
A: Since you refuse to leave your name, you can only leave your head!
B: I have been lonely all my life, and the only thing I depend on for survival is this head. I’m afraid it won’t be that easy for you to take it away!
A: OK! It was you who forced me to take action. I want to dye this sea red with your blood.
B: I have been wandering all my life, just like a lonely boat in the vast ocean. I have long ignored life and death.
Other categories:
1. Sorry, I am an undercover agent.
2. If you don’t see me, you can’t see me. If you don’t see me, you can’t see me...
3. Is it surprising? Gao is not happy? Not happy?
4. Come on, director. Well... depending on the character's background and personality, when I'm acting, I want to be a little more naughty in terms of rhythm, but also a little contradictory. What do you think?
5. According to the Russian drama theory master Stanislavsky. It should be reflected from the outside to the inside and then from the inside. Come on, try it again now.
6. It’s impossible. Dasha’s sister’s old* brother’s son said there is.
7. Talking about money hurts feelings! But Brother Chen, we brothers have nothing to do with you, so we should be more direct when talking about money.
8. It doesn’t matter whether you have money or not, but at least you have to be a respected person! (Change of conversation) - I would rather have money...
9. You are all women, why bother killing each other? Even chickens are patriotic.
10. Go back to Mars quickly, the earth is a very dangerous place.
11. If you want to scare me, you won’t be able to knock me down. I’m afraid of everything but not ghosts!
Wonderful dialogue from Westward Journey:
What is your mother’s surname?
You are scaring me again!
Be careful! It's thundering! Collect clothes when it rains!
Talk to me? You didn't tell me that? Wrong person!
Wukong, how can you talk to Sister Guanyin like this?
Alas, I am not good at literature or martial arts. If you don’t want to be a bandit, do you want to be the number one scholar?
Oh--! Familiar with it, if you talk nonsense like this, I can still sue you for slander, ha!
Save it! Change your image and pursue your promising career as a bandit!
I am a Western samurai after all. If you ask me to kiss you, I will kiss you. Then my image will be completely ruined!
Brother, as a rational person like me, how could I accept such nonsense?
Why did you shave your beard? Do you know that without your beard, you have no character at all?
It was a long night with no intention of sleeping. I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep, but it turns out that you, Miss Jingjing, couldn't sleep either!
Stop being wordy! You chased me for three days and three nights, but I didn't kill you because you were a woman. Don't think I'm afraid of you!
Look at your character, you are sneaky, shameful, disheveled and look like a dog, how can you come out with me to wander around in the world, ah?
When I watched the moon with me, I used to call her Xiao Tiantian, but now the new person is better than the old one, and I call her Mrs. Niu!
I had just woken up and was passing by with nothing to do, so I dropped in to learn some skills from my teacher.
You suddenly mentioned getting married to me...I haven't even brushed my teeth yet!
Who said I have cross-eyes? I just focused my attention on one point to change my previous view of things, why? I'm no longer good at spreading rumors. Do you want to take my seat?
Is Zixia an exclamation mark or a period in your mind? Is your head full of question marks?
Do you need a reason to love someone? Don't need it? Need it? Hey, I'm just studying with you, why are you so serious?
How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents still alive? Tell me something, I just want to make one more friend before I die.
Humans and goblins are both born from mothers. Different people are born from human mothers, while demons are born from demon mothers...
So Being a monster is just like being a human being. You must have a kind heart. With a kind heart, you are no longer a monster, but a human monster.
I can’t stand you! You are so ugly, do me a favor, we are all gods, please stop sexually harassing me, okay?
In terms of wisdom and martial arts, I have always been a little taller than him, but now that there is Zixia Fairy, he may be a little taller than me. It’s just because you are a burden that he will be a little taller than me!
Wukong wants to eat me. It is just an idea and has not become a fact. You have no evidence, so why is he guilty? Why don't you wait until he eats me and you have the evidence to convict him?
Wukong, go ahead and stab me to death. Life is so sad, and death is so painful. When you understand the importance of sacrificing your life for righteousness, you will naturally come back and sing this song to me! Amitabha, Amitabha, Amitabha, Amitabha...
You must explain! So I must get back the Moonlight Treasure Box and take you back with me to explain it clearly to them. I don't care what others say about me, and I'm not afraid that thousands of people will reviled me in the future. I have to bear it alone.
Have you seen it? This guy talks at length about his mother-in-law and his mother-in-law. It’s like there’s a fly buzzing around you all day long. Sorry, it’s not just one fly. It’s a bunch of flies surrounding you, buzzing... buzzing... buzzing... flying into your ears. Inside, help!
So I grabbed the fly, squeezed its belly, pulled out its intestines, then strangled its neck with its intestines and pulled hard, haha ??-! The whole tongue is sticking out! I raised the knife again and dropped it -! The whole world is purified. Now everyone understands why I want to kill him!
Wow! Brother, you put on this makeup and say you are Sun Wukong? Could you please show some professionalism? You see, those hairs are all split, and it looks like there are two rice cakes on the head. It costs a lot of money to go out and make a living! What are you looking at? Your makeup is disgusting! I said the same thing when you were angry with me!
You want it? Wukong, if you want something, just say something. How will I know what you want if you don’t tell me? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want. Do you really want it? Then take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it?
Hey, hey, hey! Don't be angry, everyone. Being angry will violate the precept of anger! Wukong, you are too naughty. I told you not to throw things away, but why did you... Look, you threw away the stick again before I finished speaking! The Moonlight Box is a treasure. If you throw it away, it will pollute the environment. What if it hits a child? Even if it doesn’t hit the children, it’s still wrong to hit those flowers and plants!
Alas, the size of that diamond ring is too bad. It is heavy in front and light in back, wide on the left and narrow on the right. It makes him very uncomfortable after wearing it, and he has trouble sleeping all night. It will hurt me! Although he is a monkey, you can't treat him like this. If the government finds out, they will accuse me of animal cruelty! Speaking of that diamond ring, I met a blacksmith in Chenjiacun last year. He has exquisite workmanship, fair prices, and is an honest man. Why don't I introduce you to a custom-made one?
You should do this, and I should die. There was once a sincere love in front of me, but I didn't cherish it. I only regretted it when I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. Cut my throat with your sword! Look no further! If God could give me another chance, I would say three words to that girl: I love you.
If I had to add a time limit to this love, I hope it would be... ten thousand years!