Reasons for not wanting to study
Before giving a list of solutions, it's best to think about what causes us to be unable to calm down.
1. I don't study because of terrible linear thinking.
This should be one of the important reasons why you can't settle down to study.
Since childhood, all the learning activities we have done are to help us point out the direction of progress and the destination we can reach:
Study hard in primary school, and you can get a better junior high school in the future; Study hard in junior high school and get a better high school in the future; Study hard in high school and get into a better university in the future; Only by going to a better university can you find a good job and have a good partner in the future. ......
You see, all our efforts have solid and controllable results.
No wonder, before college, what we were taught the most was "No pains, no gains", "Genius is made up of 65,438+0% inspiration and 99% sweat" and "What you give will be rewarded", because parents and teachers also know that at this stage, students just have to work hard and don't care why they work hard.
However, the college entrance examination will always be a crowded wooden bridge. Some people will go to the peak of their lives, and some people will fall to the bottom in countless screams. Whether it is the person who climbed to the top or the person who fell to the bottom, the linear thinking instilled has long been around for a lifetime.
The biggest negative effect of linear thinking is that people are prone to fear.
The complaints I hear most can be divided into the following categories:
After that, I feel that I can't pass the postgraduate entrance examination, and my life is over;
It's over. I didn't pass Band 6 this time. It will be difficult to find a job in the future. I feel that college is for nothing.
It's over. It's over. ......
Psychologist Ellis calls our tendency to exaggerate the negative effects of life events "terrorization".
Because of this linear thinking, once something doesn't develop linearly, we will create obstacles for ourselves and add drama to ourselves, and it is still a bitter drama.
But in fact, what worries us now is not even the smallest wave in the long river of life. Just because of such linear thinking, we often deliberately exaggerate the pain now, and then we can't see anything worth remembering in the future.
2. Don't study because of relative deprivation.
Emily Dickinson, a famous American poetess, once wrote such a famous poem:
If I hadn't seen the sun,
I can stand the darkness.
You can understand that people suffer because they think they should have the same things as others, and it will be very painful if they can't get them.
I have always stressed that people are social animals. Because they are social animals, they always compare with others. However, because your college entrance examination scores are almost the same as those of your classmates around you, no matter how you compare them, the gap will not be too obvious.
However, with the rise of the Internet, what achievements others have made can be transmitted to your eyes through various carriers. There has been an extremely serious "lucky deviation" on the Internet, so all you see are people who are much better than you and are much better than you.
If you often surf the Internet, you will definitely feel that your grades are not bad, your face value is not bad, and your income level is not bad, but when you look at others online, you are immediately slapped.
Seeing someone go to Peking University at the age of 12, I feel that no matter how many points I get in the exam, I am still scum.
It's a shame to see people with eight abdominal muscles eating fitness meals all year round.
Seeing that someone else got 30 million venture capital at a young age, the bell is about to ring. You look at your payroll and your face turns red.
It may stimulate your upward motivation, but it will also stimulate your sense of relative deprivation: you will think, why do others have it and I don't!
The term "relative deprivation" was first used by scholars when studying the satisfaction of American troops in World War II. Scholars have found that American air force soldiers are more depressed about their promotion opportunities than American military and police.
But in fact, the promotion speed of American military police is much slower and more unpredictable than that of the US Air Force. However, the US Air Force did not compare the US military and police, but they thought they deserved the promotion opportunity, but they did not get it.
The US Air Force, which has never been promoted, has experienced a sense of relative deprivation.
After years of comparison with people far away, you may feel that other people's achievements can add a lot of spiritual motivation to you. But in fact, if you don't become as powerful and awesome as them again and again, the frustration you feel will be very strong and difficult to shake.
Once you try to feel depressed, you can't settle down to study at all.
Do you know what kind of people are the most unhappy and unmotivated?
They are not refugees living in greenhouses in Africa, but people who take the postgraduate entrance examination. Although they can work hard in the direction of their own application, they are forced to compare with others "taking the exam for a few months +2 1 1, 985". They have tasted the taste of "relative deprivation" again and again. After turning off the warm-screen mobile phone, all they can leave in their hearts is a deep sense of frustration.
3. Study because many people please you.
The highly developed network era has brought a variety of self-media apps. Do you get bored sometimes? It doesn't matter, all kinds of apps will push you all kinds of funny and relaxed videos.
Have you watched all these videos? It doesn't matter, they will push you "similar recommendations" and "the hottest articles and videos today".
Maybe you are not satisfied with this, it doesn't matter. They can push the content of "Guess what you like" and "Everyone is watching" to you according to your browsing history or the search information of other platforms.
For a student who doesn't have any sense of existence at school and the teacher doesn't pay attention to it, or a person who runs into a wall everywhere in the workplace and nobody takes him seriously, brushing various headline websites and playing games is the best way to kill time and gain a sense of existence.
Of course, only on the virtual network will developers of software and games cherish your needs, know what you want, and try their best to please you and keep your time and attention.
Do you know what users' time and attention mean to them? It means traffic and the amount of investment that can be obtained, which is the key factor for them to get rid of other competitors, and it is also an excellent bargaining chip for their external publicity.
For teachers, your time and attention are simply dispensable. It makes no difference to them whether you come to class or not. It doesn't matter to them whether you are satisfied with the course or not. If you have a problem with them, you must wait until the end of the semester to bring it up.
On the one hand, the virtual network holds you high, on the other hand, the offline learning environment treats you as an ordinary person. Most people will choose to be an "angel"!
How to do
Now that we know the reason why we can't settle down to study, the next step is the concrete solution.
4. Replace "pursuing excellence" with "pursuing excellence"
This is a good way to solve linear thinking.
Linear thinking does not allow us to deviate from the established route in the process of pursuing our goals. Once we deviate from the established route, we will feel deeply helpless and desperate, so we will not think about continuing to work hard and continue to change the facts that have happened.
In the eyes of people who pursue Excellence, there are only two standard ways to get from one point to another, because they are not allowed to make mistakes or accept the fact that they have deviated from the established path.
In the eyes of people who pursue Excellence, it is of course the best to take any standard path on the same journey, but they can accept it if there are twists and turns in the middle.
On this point, Professor Tal of Harvard University's Happiness Open Class also mentioned it.
You can find that people of two different faiths give different explanations and reactions to the same event.
Similarly, none of them can pass CET-6. People who "pursue Excellence" tend to take exams all their lives and will impose "terror" on themselves. People who "pursue Excellence" secretly review the reasons and try to avoid the mistakes made before next time.
Staring at the success of others, it is better to record your own thoughts.
I remember Buffett once said that it is the stupidest thing to stare at others all the time to make money.
When you stare at other people's academic achievements or how successful their careers are, the time and energy left for yourself will be greatly reduced.
Think about your race with others on the track. When you pay attention to whether others are exerting strength, what equipment they wear and what brand of shampoo they use from time to time, what happens to others can set off a huge storm in your heart.
Therefore, comparing with others all the time is not a good way to calm down and learn. A better way is to find a notebook and record what you accomplish every day.
It is precisely because the hero in Qian Qian the Dog records his income and expenses every day that he gradually develops the habit of taking care of himself and accumulating wealth.
Even some negative information, you can definitely write it down, because only by writing down the feelings of anxiety and pain can you easily find a way to deal with the same problem next time.
Charles Munger once said: If I knew where I would die, I would never go there. The experience of failure actually has its value.
Recording your thoughts and progress can help you avoid making the same mistake again.
6. Think more.
Whenever you are ready to brush Weibo or headlines after the postgraduate entrance examination, you can ask yourself:
Am I tired now? Why should I be immersed in the endless recommendation of artificial algorithms? Is this good for me?
The result of thinking more is to avoid becoming a passive receiver of information. Faced with too much information, I embarrassed myself and forced myself to jump out of the traps and cages set by others or even artificial algorithms.
It is usually easy to passively accept information, because you don't need to think with your own brain. But after a long time, you will have path dependence, and then you want to use your independent thinking ability, which may have been lost.
7. Apply the theory of ideological trajectory
Every time people's thoughts dominate behavior, they are strengthening a trajectory. After a long time, it is difficult to get off track. Running around outside every day, I feel I can't stay at home anymore. If you stay at home every day, you are too lazy to go out. Early risers always get up early, which is the reason. People's mental state, learning state and laziness all have their own trajectories.
When playing simple games such as San Xiao/Minesweeper/Solitaire, I obviously don't have any addiction, and even feel a little bored, but I can still play one game after another. At that moment, I could clearly feel my heart surging in a fixed track. When you can't learn, you must break the existing lazy track and pave a learning track for yourself.
How to break the existing track? Divided into environment and body.
The environment includes: changing the living environment; Change the learning environment; Participate in study groups/courses; Find a study partner, etc.
The body includes: starting to get up early, starting to exercise, working and sleeping regularly, and having three meals.
I want to emphasize the role of sports in stimulating spiritual vitality. The effect of running is immediate. At home, my body is lazy and introverted, my limbs are not stretched out, my spirit is lazy and I pay attention to details. After running, the limbs stretch, the environment changes and the spirit is activated. Yoga, aerobics, sit-ups and other fixed sports in a certain place are not acceptable.
After the existing lazy track is broken, we should pave a learning track for ourselves. This process is quite difficult. If thought is a river, it has been flowing in our inert riverbed for too long. Now let's take it to the plain of learning. At first, it can only be traced in vain, and it is easy to be sloppy and return to the original inertia. At this time, we should use willpower to set limits for ourselves and constrain the river to go in the direction of learning.
I didn't want to run today, so I ran. This is the way of thinking of long-distance runners. In the postgraduate long-distance running project, there must be many people who don't want to run any more. However, how to overcome this psychology of not learning and continue learning is the difference between you and the admitted schoolmaster. When you can't learn, think about the seven methods I mentioned above, and then keep running.