How to ask for advice with humility
In the Spring and Autumn Period, Confucius and Laozi each became a family, but Confucius' Confucianism hit a snag. Confucius heard that Laozi's Taoism was very prestigious and wanted to know about it. So Confucius took the opportunity of lobbying to see Laozi. He took some students to the "Moral Palace". When he saw the door closed, he stepped forward and asked, "Is there anyone inside?" When the door opened, a child came out, looked at Confucius and his party and asked warily, "What do you do?" Confucius quickly stepped forward and introduced himself: "My name is Kong Qiu, and I'm here to see Lao Zi." Hearing this, the child nodded and said, "You wait first, and I'll go in and let you know." Say that finish, the child turned around and went in. After a while, the child came out and said, "The teacher is not at home. Come back tomorrow." He slammed the door and closed it. Confucius and his disciples were flushed and had to return.
The next day, Confucius led the students to the Moral Palace. Confucius was glad that the gate was open. However, when I entered the door, the second door was closed. Confucius knocked at the door and another child came out. He asked, "What do you do?" "Oh, we are here to see Lao Zi." "Is it asking for an audience or asking for advice?" "Please see me." "requested? Not idle. " Say, the child will close the door. When Confucius saw it, he was anxious and changed his mind and said, "Don't turn it off, don't turn it off! For advice! We are here for advice! " The child squinted behind Confucius and said, "Ask for advice? How can you ask for advice with so many people? It's clearly a provocation! The teacher is sleeping and has no time to talk to you. I will talk about it tomorrow. " Thus, Confucius failed again.
On the third day, Confucius said to the students, "In this way, I went to ask for advice from Laozi alone today. The first two times, I was blamed for not knowing the etiquette, and I couldn't even tell the difference between asking for an audience and asking for advice." When Confucius came to the "Moral Palace" alone, he saw that the palace door was wide open, so he went forward to salute and said, "Kong Qiu has come to ask for advice." As soon as the voice fell, two children came out, which were the two I saw the other day. I saw the two greeted each other with courtesy and led Confucius in. When Confucius saw Laozi, he quickly bowed down and said, "Kong Qiu has come to ask for advice." Lao Tzu got up and returned the gift: "I've heard a lot about Mr. Kong. Please sit down." So, the two started talking. Laozi asked him, "What does Mr. Kong study now?" Confucius replied: "I am reading Zhouyi. The ancients also read this book. " Lao Tzu said, "Well, it was useful for the ancients to read Zhouyi. But what's the use of reading it now? " "I am pursuing righteousness." "So, you have been pursuing benevolence and righteousness for so many years, can you get any truth?" Confucius thought about it and said, "I have studied it for 27 years, but I haven't got a truth that really works."
Lao Tzu laughed when Confucius said this. "In that case, I'll tell you something about my heart. It is not enough to talk about benevolence, but also about Tao. Only with Tao can we have morality, and morality is close to benevolence, and benevolence is close to it. If you are willing to pursue' morality', I will tell you about the' morality' I studied. " Confucius immediately asked for advice modestly. So Lao Tzu began to speak in detail. The two chatted from dawn until dark. From then on, Confucius went to listen to Laozi's sermon every day. The alley in front of the "Moral Palace" was called "Courtesy Lane" by later generations.
people often like to express themselves in a high profile, but they don't know that a low profile is a good attitude. The mentality is lowered, and there are some seemingly difficult things that will be logical to do. In fact, the same is true for people. When a person can lower his posture, it is easy to get the approval of others. In the era of Confucius, Confucianism and Taoism were academic competitors. If Confucius didn't lower his posture, Lao Tzu wouldn't tell him his own experience. Therefore, Lao Tzu asked him, "What truth can you get from your pursuit of benevolence and righteousness for so many years?" Confucius said he didn't get the real truth. Lao Tzu therefore knew that he really came for advice.
If Confucius had said, "I have some experience and I want to discuss it with you." Lao tze will not chat with him. Asking for advice is asking for advice, and you should have an attitude of asking for advice. If you pretend to argue and convince each other, it will inevitably make people feel alert and disgusted. In this case, it is very difficult to get approval from others. In real life, many people don't understand this, so they always look like masters, just like teachers treat students or parents treat children and ask them to accept themselves.
for many people, it is really difficult to reach the realm of life to put down one's figure and posture. It is precisely for this reason that people with higher status can easily be admired if they can lower their posture and communicate with others. Whether you are proud or frustrated, whether you are successful or unsuccessful, whether you are happy or unhappy, never forget to express your modesty and lower your posture.