Humor and eloquence classic quotations 1 0 1, you should always thank all beings who have given you adversity.
You are calm because you are not afraid of death, and I am calmer than you because I am not afraid of your death.
03. forgive me I knew that I had made a mistake. If you can't forgive me, then continue to call me and scold me! I am willing to be scolded by you until I am old!
I not only have a car, but also rely on myself. ...
I am convinced that someone will come to this world because of my pain.
06, wearing a cotton-padded jacket is because the weather is cold; Because of the rain, the umbrella was propped up; I texted you because I was wrong. Can You Ever Forgive Me?
07. Live the blues spirit of hip-hop like erhu.
08. A Dutch travel agency advertised: "Please fly to the Arctic for your honeymoon! The local night lasts for 24 hours. "
09. A star can become more famous by taking off a little, but I was caught naked!
10, people with insufficient blessings will often hear right and wrong; Those who have enough blessings have never heard of right or wrong.
1 1, this wind is really obscene, and it has dried my mouth.
12. Young people should take over the work of our old people. Young people should raise our flag until the victory is over.
13, no comparison, no jealousy. As long as we do our best, shine brightly and have a clear conscience, although our situation still has a lot of room for improvement, we are confident to improve, but we are also happy. Learn to be humorous and laugh at yourself.
14, life can't be like cooking, prepare all the ingredients before cooking!
15, human desire is like a kite, we should not only fly it, but also control it.
16, the reasons why a woman is willing to pay the bill: first, she is his wife; Second, she just received an expensive gift from a man, so her conscience found that she made a profit; Third, he is her old lover, and she wants him to know that she is better off than him; Fourth, this man wants to pursue her, and she wants to hurt his self-esteem; If a man and a woman compete to pay the bill, they can't be lovers.
17, flowers don't bloom often, and youth doesn't often. Get in love while you are still young.
18, new book advertisement: The author of this book is a millionaire, unmarried, and he wants the heroine described in this novel!
19. Trust is like a delicate snowflake. Never play with your hands.
20. Stealing food is not my fault, but the loneliness of my mouth.
2 1, I wonder how long a meteor can fly, is it worth pursuing? I don't know how long the cherry blossoms will last, and whether it is worth waiting for; But I know that our feelings can be as beautiful as fireworks and as eternal as stars, which is worth keeping for a lifetime.
22. Arrogant people can be saved, but people with inferiority can't.
23. The physical education teacher in junior high school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class again will be punished for handstand.
24. Don't blame the dog for following a steamed stuffed bun!
25. Half of life is bad luck, and the other half is dealing with bad things.
26. I am noble because you kneel down!
27. Bajie asked Wukong to introduce his girlfriend. Wukong said: If God can give you a second chance, you can say three words to that girl. Bajie: I like it!
If you say good night to me, I will visit your parents the next morning.
29. Friends hold each other and basket each other.
30. Boss: Friends are for use; Brothers are betrayed; Boss, that's how I escaped.
3 1. Format yourself just to delete you.
32. I don't want to know that you are ill. Don't be so obvious.
33. On the road of love, Russia always stops and goes. My mother says Russia can't walk.
34, even if you want to cry again, you should smile and say: you are a grandfather!
Tomb-Sweeping Day, buy flowers to pay homage to the lost love.
36. I passed a person countless times, and the clothes were all scratched and there was no spark.
Don't argue with a fool, or others will not know who is a fool.
38. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.
39. Protect yourself and love others. Please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.
40. I feel relieved to know that you are not doing well. ...
4 1, the man riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be the Tang priest.
42. The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.
Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.
44. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.
45. Women don't care about decency. She is decent because she is not seduced enough. Men don't care about loyalty. Loyalty is because the chips of betrayal are too low.
46. Smart women deal with men and stupid women deal with women.
47. Don't often stay up late. You know, I can't afford a national treasure.
48. Clear water makes no fish, while lowly people make you invincible.
49. The minimum goal of college students: farmers (peasant women), mountain springs and a little field.
50. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.
5 1, don't be infatuated with me, my sister-in-law will hit you.
52. The mood of going to work is heavier than going to the grave.
Don't call me arrogant, I refuse to deal with animals!
54. It is said that women are clothes and big sister is a brand that you can't afford to wear.
55, brother, not lonely. Because I am lonely with my brother.
I never talk about people, but I always talk about myths.
57. Good people and bad people make history, while mediocre people are racing.
58. Only mom is good and dad is good.
When you don't take things seriously, everything will be fine.
60. I was pulled out before I could flirt.
6 1, you are my Youlemei so that I can throw you away after drinking.
62. High-rise buildings rise from the ground, and glory can only depend on oneself.
63. I just wanted to turn gracefully, but I didn't expect to hit the wall!
Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is married.
After 65 and 90, you have a heart born after 80 and a face born after 70. ...
66. I am L 'Oré al Paris, and you deserve it!
67. Lions don't turn around because they hear dogs barking.
68. You engage in art and I engage in you. This is called deep art..
69. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but that I can't see. You are online, and you are online, but I can't see.
70, unrequited love is a successful mime, saying it becomes a tragedy!
7 1, I'm crazy, you're stupid and confused. Love me when you come back from work!
72. Wear other people's shoes and go your own way. Let others find shoes!
73. If you want to make chopsticks, you won't be lonely!
74. It is not pitiful when you know you are confused, but it is most pitiful when you don't know you are confused.
75. All harmony and balance, health and bodybuilding, success and happiness are all produced and caused by the upward psychology of optimism and hope.
76. Take a breath inside and practice fart outside.
77. A man's words are like an old lady's teeth. How much is true? !
78. Don't try to be brave after dark without medical insurance and life insurance. ...
79. Without forgiveness, life will be dominated by endless hatred and revenge. I really don't want to hurt you. I really want to make up with you. Please forgive me.
80. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!
8 1, keep an optimistic mood, don't care too much about the ups and downs in life, don't be too demanding, and don't complain. Because there are so few things that people pay attention to in this world.
The more people I know, the more I like animals.
Give me a pair of chopsticks. I can eat the whole earth.
84. Nowadays, many noble daughters with blond hair and blue eyes on the other side of the ocean are crying for China's green card at CCTV Spring Festival Evening and throwing themselves into the arms of unmarried men.
Modesty is also an art, let's do this art well together!
86. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.
87. Mathematics makes me very tired, and physics is even more wrong. Learning really makes me haggard and my spirit is about to collapse. I won't fall behind just by surfing the internet!
The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget, and the more you forget, the less you know. Why study?
I haven't seen you for some time. I really miss you! Are you okay over there? Does the tiger bully you? Does the lion scare you? Did the tourists throw anything at you? Are you used to reading the short messages of two little hooves on your mobile phone?
90. Marble insoles should be shameless.
9 1, cherish life-God must have his plan to keep you alive.
92. It's really difficult to go to school. I might as well play computer at home.
93. If you choose to look up at others at 45, don't blame others for looking down at you at 135.
94. Some things have gone bad in a flash.
Please don't harass, I am harassing others.
It is said that women are made of water, but recently the water pollution is so serious.
People inside the wall want to come out, people outside the wall want to go in, and I stand on the wall and watch.
3, benefactor, put down the butcher's knife and set the Buddha to shave his head.
You can only convince others' ears with your mouth and conquer others' hearts with your actions.
5. Live in the coldest water and try not to drown.
6, hey, don't put your useless face in front of me, thank you.
7. You are dressed like this. Are you dissatisfied with the world?
8. I made so many mistakes that I don't know where I made them now.
9. Don't miss some crooked melons and cracked dates. How do you know what is best?
10, every time I think of you, you are a grain of sand, so there is Sahara in the world.
1 1, you are not Lin Daiyu, don't play sad like others.
12, jokes are actually hot and cold. Who doesn't know humor?
13, the only thing I can put down at this age is chopsticks.
14. What is money? Something I don't have.
15, if the heart is not like the sea, how can there be a career like the sea?
16, one heart can only hold one person. If you hold two people, then you are not alone.
17, what is crazier than love-lovelorn.
18, don't be afraid of temptation, you resisted, which means you are a good person; The failure of the boycott shows that you are a good person.
19, don't rob me. Although I can't be coquettish, I can wrestle.
20. I dedicated my most perfect years to compulsory education.
2 1, women have two mouths, one is right and wrong, and the other is cannibal.
22. Being stared at by a beautiful woman needs more psychological quality than being watched by an ugly woman for a day.
23. Beauty can only be used to deceive men, and cleverness can be used to deceive the world.
You say you are my friend, but in fact, I know that animals are indeed friends of human beings.
25. Be careful when brushing your teeth in the future, and don't swallow mouthwash.
Classic quotations of humor and eloquence 3 1. I didn't mean to be different. How can I have outstanding taste?
2. As soon as others praise me, I am worried that others will not praise me enough.
3, can not extricate themselves, in addition to love, there are radishes in other people's fields.
4. Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs.
5. Not everyone can live a low-key life, and the basis of low-key is high-profile at any time.
6. Getting married was a playboy at first, but getting divorced later was a mistake.
7, low-key! Is the most awesome show off!
8, the sea is wide with diving and beating drums.
9. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.
10, be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.
1 1, fate is responsible for shuffling cards, but it is ourselves who play cards.
12, men's brains like women's hearts, but their eyes like women's looks.
13, the grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.
14, women like ugly men, not ugly men.
15, sighing is the most wasteful thing, and crying is the most wasteful behavior.
16, the exploration journey is not to discover the new continent, but to cultivate a new perspective.
17, love is cheap, and it is cheap again and again. When you stop being a bitch, women come!
18, don't say love to others easily, don't stubbornly open other people's hearts, just make a joke and leave.
19, if you don't sleep in class, you get drunk on the wine table.
When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the robe of a monk.
2 1, the fewer enemies or consciences, the safer.
22. A woman without talent is virtuous. I must be too wicked.
23, the world has its own true feelings, I love all the beautiful women.
24. The wound is a shame given by others and an illusion of persistence.
25. I won't bend over if there is a pie in the sky, because I won't even lose money if there is a pie in the sky.
26. Angels and demons always like to play tug-of-war with my soul.
27. I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!
28. I can't find my tie again Didn't you find a rag yesterday?
29. I accidentally want to grow old with you.
I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.
3 1, summer is not good, and you don't even need to drink west wind and winter wind when you are poor.
I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.
33. A real warrior dares to face his own face.
34. Love is art, marriage is technology, and divorce is arithmetic.
Love is always more sacred than marriage, and marriage is always more affordable than love.