Many people are making up their minds in good faith. Why do they just want to escape when it comes to execution? Let's take a look at the most common resolutions: to be more self-disciplined, to finish work/study better, to lose weight, or just to be an abstract "better self" ... how much is heartfelt love?
Most of them are asking themselves according to the mainstream values of society and environment. And this kind of influence is silent, and even makes us not realize how we are affected and sincerely think that's what I want. Sometimes, we need to grasp the illusion that if I make money, my life will be successful ... it is better to fantasize that I will not suffer after reaching a certain "good" standard.
This path dependence is formed. When encountering setbacks, people tend to hold on to these things marked with "meaning" more tightly, hoping to know how to regain them instead of reflecting on those illusory parts.
For example, in the gloomy year-end summary, people rarely ask themselves: "Is it because I was forced to do too many things that I didn't like?" ; "I can't get up because I'm always fulfilling other people's expectations?" Instead, I hope that "if I am self-disciplined, these can be done."
If you want to know what you really want, the first step is to stop and see what drives you and whether there is a deep fear in it.
Trying to be a "problem solver" is often a similar fear behind 996: that standard represents my value, without which I will lose everything.
Behind those "diligence" and "self-discipline" may be because you don't know who you are without them, or you may be worried that you will be abandoned after losing these values.
By understanding the narrative behind these fears and fears, we can get rid of the illusory elements and liberate our inner slaves, and then we have the opportunity to exert our enthusiasm and creativity.
2. Forcing yourself is often ineffective and takes time to practice.
Others asked: I have found what I like, why am I still dragging my feet and finding it difficult to achieve my goal?
Assuming that these things are really what you want to do, maybe you will have more motivation, but you will still face a series of problems.
For example, many people have mentioned a strong inertia: in the past, I had to take the road chosen by others, crustily skin of head to study and work, and always wanted to delay and always wanted to be lazy. Now that I have what I want to do, it seems that I am still in the old model and can't go all out.
Even if it is really "what I want to do" now, our psychological world may still sound an alarm: "The task is coming, the persecution is coming again, run!"
Because you are responsible for yourself and no longer fall into the mode of forcing yourself, you need time to practice.
3. Practice separating wishes from goals, and gradually realize the goals.
We often have to separate "desire" from "goal". We hope too much not to go through those painful processes and become "brand-new" and become our ideal self. So many resolutions at the beginning of the new year are actually just a ritual to comfort themselves. When we imagine that next year will be better, I will become what I hope in the future, and I can briefly comfort myself who is depressed and lost. Real determination, real plan, need to know where their abilities and limitations are, and be willing to endure a process of slow change, slow completion, and perhaps setbacks and repetitions.
Now there are many ways to "achieve your goals" and "how to overcome procrastination" on the Internet. Most of them will mention that you should break down your goals and tasks into as small branches as possible, and start with small goals with low difficulty in combination with your own abilities. This is the main way to practice.
But why can't I do it after reading this suggestion? Maybe it's because it's too difficult to face the helpless and limited self.
To really achieve a goal means facing many practical difficulties, and from the beginning of planning, we must crush our illusions and accept that we can only do so much at present, but we will not give up our long-term pursuit. If a person really knows who he is, where his desires are, and has the enthusiasm to do something, everything is not a problem.