(1) Let your friends beat you.
Friends, when someone talks about their glorious history, we will blurt out: "What's the big deal! My past is more boastful than yours. " Because of this, we lost many friends.
The French philosopher Rousseau once said, "If you want to make an enemy, you only need to defeat your friends. If you want to make a close friend, you must let the other person surpass you. " There is a saying in West Germany that means the same thing: "Nothing can make you feel happier than seeing others fail."
Indeed, among our friends, there are such people who are happy to watch us fail.
If you succeed, you should pay attention to telling only your closest relatives and friends as much as possible, so as to maintain your success.
In order to win a good friend, please let your friend surpass you. Those who exaggerate achievements are not very successful. We should try to be modest and not flatter ourselves. Sometimes, in order to make better friends, you can also use the method of transferring credits.
Wang Dao was the prime minister of the Jin Dynasty, and a traitor refused to crusade. Tao Kan scolded him, and he replied, "I'll keep it unlucky until I take the first step." Tao Kan read this letter and said with a smile: "He is in custody, nothing more than a thief." When Wang Dao regards Tao Kan as a thief, he leaves the ready-made credit to others.
(2) Think more about your friends.
1. Think of friends and understand each other's difficulties. Friendship doesn't grow by itself, it needs careful cultivation.
2. Listen to your friends. Everyone is eager to be understood by others. Listening to friends is the best way to show understanding.
3. Be restrained at the critical moment. What you say when you are emotional or angry is the most destructive to friendship, so when your temper is about to explode, you'd better leave your friends.
Don't let your bad mood affect your friends. If you force others to conform to your bad mood, no one will come near you.
5. Always care about your friends. Say a few words when you meet, send a birthday card and make a greeting call, all of which show that you always care about your friends. This is the best gift for a friend.
(3) Make new friends
Everything is difficult at the beginning. In the process of meeting or getting to know each other in advance, people usually start with some established greetings, such as greetings and mutual admiration, to ease the formality of meeting for the first time. However, in the case of not understanding, not agreeing or introducing, it is necessary for the tempter to observe the environment first, and seek the same feelings with the testee about the environment before determining the first sentence. For example, when waiting in line to buy tickets, he can say, "What took you so long?" Wait, try to find the right feeling.
Asking for help is the most effective way to make friends. For example, at the same table in a restaurant, just say, "Excuse me, please take care of my position. I'll be right back. " Of course, it is easy for the other party to grasp the content of the help inquiry. Thank you after asking for help.
Expansion is the key from the unfamiliar to the familiar. In order to talk to each other in a pleasant, relaxed and casual way, you usually start with a question. For example: "Where did you buy the ticket?" "Are you here to travel?" The purpose of asking questions is to find similarities between them, so that we can continue to bring out some topics of mutual interest. For example, "I have been to the place you want to go many times and I am familiar with it." "I really envy you. If only I could look around. "
When shaking hands with a new acquaintance, you can open the memo and ask him to write down the address. You can also tell him your phone number. You can be sure that when you call, the other party will warmly welcome you, because you are no longer strangers.
In addition, in social situations, when you meet strangers, you can make new friends in the following ways:
1. Tell your feelings frankly. Frankly speaking, "I'm shy" or "I don't know anyone here" is much better than being blunt and indifferent.
2. Look for topics to talk to people from the surrounding environment.
3. Take the other person as a topic in good faith, such as "Your hat is very chic."
Step 4 ask questions. Many unforgettable conversations begin with a question.
5. Listen carefully, if you don't listen, you really can't talk.
6. Talk about the situation or activities at that time. For example, in a shopping mall, you can say, "Today is not a holiday, there are so many people!" In the cinema, you can say, "I heard that this star may be nominated for this year's Oscar."
7. Say a few words of praise. For example, in the laundry room, you can say, "What a beautiful dress you have!" " "
8. Show interest in what the other person is doing. For example, on the train or plane, your neighbor is reading a book. You can say, "I heard a friend talk about this book. What is it like? "
9. Give each other something. For example, on the train or plane, you can lend newspapers and magazines to your neighbors or ask them to share food. At the party, as long as you are willing to bring a drink to someone you don't know, you will soon start talking.
10. Tell others how you feel. For example, while waiting for a tooth extraction, you can say to your neighbor, "I'm nervous. What about you? "
1 1. Say hello and introduce yourself. For example, you can say, "I'm from XXX, and I'm going with you now." Or "I just moved here to be your neighbor." This frank and enthusiastic attitude is very useful everywhere.
(4) Don't forget your old friends.
There is a famous saying: it is better to learn new knowledge than to forget the old. In daily life, instead of being kind to others and winning the favor of others, it is better to take the right path and win the respect of public opinion; It is better to cherish old friendships than to make new ones. It's good to make new friends, but you can't like the new and hate the old! Besides, people who abandon their friends easily will be abandoned one day!
(5) Don't condescend to make friends.
When making friends with people with high self-esteem, don't let them think that you are more successful than him.
1. If you want to correct the other party, you must not let the other party notice. At the same time, don't let anyone realize that you are correcting each other's mistakes.
Don't make people think that you are teaching each other for the sake of teaching each other. For what he doesn't understand, say he forgot. This is the secret of how to correct each other's mistakes.
3. Sir chesterfield, a famous British politician and writer, once wrote the following poem in Proverbs for His Son: "If possible, you should be smarter and more useful than others, but never let others know that you have done more than him."
Socrates said to his students, "I only know one thing in my life, and that is that I know nothing."
Don't correct other people's mistakes in order to win good popularity.
(6) Don't care about the estrangement between friends.
1. No matter how rich people are, they sometimes feel sad. Even if you have great wealth, you can't be completely carefree. If you earn more than others, then you should not complain in front of the poor. At least you have more wealth.
2. Get along with friends. If the income gap is large, try to reduce the influence of different incomes. Be honest with your own pockets, weigh what you can afford, what you shouldn't participate in, and don't have to hide your lack of money. We must try our best to participate in activities among friends. Even if the activity itself is quite attractive, don't ask for a loan to participate, otherwise it will only worsen the friendship.
When you get along with friends, you will feel disgusted if you hear others constantly showing off their wealth. Similarly, friends don't always want to hear that you are poor, so there is no need to discuss with others how much money you have, because friendship is mutual and will not be graded because of your wealth.
(7) Good friends should be taken care of.
1. Hand, foot and mouth are the basis of building interpersonal relationships. Hand-to-hand refers to writing and sending cards; Foot-to-foot refers to visiting and attending parties; Mouth-to-mouth means calling to say hello or something. These "three" are indispensable in the establishment of interpersonal relationships.
2. Too much care and kindness will be boring and unbearable. It's better not to be too kind to others and let them relax.
In the long run, people can have long-term communication because they have achieved a balance between giving and receiving. Of course, this is also an eternal law at home and abroad. Therefore, if you can't give others something useful, you can't get a balance. Your own professional knowledge, information or expertise can be used as the basis for exchanging other different knowledge.
4. Don't have the heart to pursue fame and fortune. Profits will dominate the gains and losses of those who pursue profits. If you do anything without profit, you must gain good popularity; On the contrary, the pursuers who pursue fame and fortune tend to lose people's hearts.
People get along with each other, just like a person's right hand and can help each other. When helping each other, don't forget to thank them without asking for anything in return. If everyone has this experience, making friends will no longer be a chore.
6. Without thinking, speaking your own likes and dislikes is a big taboo in the maintenance and application of interpersonal relationships. We should try not to look at each other's shortcomings, but think positively.
7. Keeping secrets is the first step to gain trust. The data obtained from the information warehouse shall not be leaked out. It is natural that revealing secrets will lose friends.
8. Few people want to use others to gain their own interests, but it is very common to make friends with someone for their own career. When you know that the other person's work is beneficial to you and want to make further contact, it is polite to wait for the natural opportunity to come.
9. Be careful not to force others. If you force others to do something, it will cause trouble to the other party, and it will be difficult to continue communication in the future. Only by mutual understanding can the negotiations proceed perfectly and smoothly. Therefore, we must make friends naturally in order to maintain good interpersonal relationships.