"Your kindness and malice are not pure enough, so you suffer!" How to write this sentence in English?

It's not black or white, it's gray. You always think you are kind, but there is a little evil in your heart. You feel bad, but you also have a good side.

What does it mean to say that the root of all your pain is your malice and kindness?

To put it bluntly, you are not cruel enough, which indirectly means that you are still kind, but you are always ambiguous in doing things. This character should be changed.