1. People are floating in the Jianghu. Who can avoid being stabbed? White camel mountain strong bone powder, oral and external use, has a miraculous effect. I got a knife and drew a pack, but I want to get a second knife. I bent over and ate a bag, and I won't be old until I'm 200. White camel mountain Qianggu Powder, Youth Powder, Friendship Powder, Huashan Lunjian designated nutritional products, all major pharmacies in the town sell them in Yiguang, please look for the anti-counterfeiting logo of black toad when buying, gung, gung. ...

2. Go home to your mother!

Just to the top of the mountain, the wrong way and the right way are only a few steps away.

Being a man with his tail between his legs is called chivalry.

5. Don't steam steamed bread for breath.

6. Laobai: Where's your knife? Punishment catching head: no knife in hand, but a knife in heart. Lao Bai: Wrong, the highest state is that there is no knife in the hand and no knife in the heart. (Then they opened their arms-rock, paper, scissors! ) punishment at the head, lost. Protest: Didn't you say that there is no knife in your hand and no knife in your heart? Laobai: Yes, I am scissors, not a knife!

7. Beauty is not discounted-my sister is called beauty and my sister is called discount.

8. Ah, my fiery biceps ~ ~!

9. The proprietress is puzzled by Li Dazui's hunger strike. ING: I usually eat when I'm not hungry, but now I'm not hungry if I don't eat for two days?

10. Scholar: Xiao Guo, how have you been recently? Say if you have difficulties, and say if you don't have difficulties ~! ~!

1 1. Guo: I can't sing. Laobai: Nothing. Brother Cui is not here. You can lip-synch ~ ~ ~

12. Tong Xiangyu: If a person makes you grateful, you will be willing to give your life to him; If a person moves you, you will be willing to give yourself to him.

13. Widow Zhang decided to invite everyone to her house to eat tofu.

14. You look at the clouds for a while and me for a while. When you look at the clouds, you are far away from them. When you look at me, you are close to me.

15. Tigers don't show off their strength. Do you think I'm HOLLOKITTY?

16. Take good care of my seven uncles.

17. You adults don't remember villains, but the prime minister can punt in his stomach, and the moon sets in first frost, and both husband and wife go home.

18. I have served you, respected you, and worshipped you in my heart.

19. Do you think I love money that much? You are! I'm ashamed. It is good to know shame. I'm ashamed and happy.

2 1. catching a thief is sometimes as simple as that.

22. I like you ~

23. Superstition means being fascinated before believing, confusing you and making you believe.

Listen, people inside, hand over stinky tofu eggs and release the hostages.

25. Have you ever been to World Spring? I've heard people say time. Have a clear view in the first one. In that Taoist temple, there is a Taoist priest. They like hula in the first spring, and the tune is called Quan.

I eat more salt than you do. That's because your mouth is heavy. I have crossed more bridges than you have. That's because I'm not interested.

27. Beckham: I am the head of the team! Shopkeeper: It's not good to palm the window! Beckham: Yes. . . You're the one with the sore.

28. If life is just an accidental encounter, then death is the inevitable killer.

29. What is the fragrance of flowers? Because of me. Why is the grass green, and it's because of me? Why does fart stink? It's because of white ~ ~ ~

30. Part I: Opposing domestic violence Part II: Calling for social love: Don't talk to strangers.

3 1. Go your own way and let them take a taxi. . .

What a scholar! Well, that smart, capable and cheap scholar ~ ~!

Hunger is wrong. Hunger is wrong from the beginning ~ you shouldn't get married if you are hungry. You can't die if you don't marry a hungry husband. If you were hungry, you wouldn't fall into this sad place. ..............

34. After the Year of the Monkey, it will be the Year of the Rooster. Bottom line: After the Year of the Rooster, it is the Year of the Dog. Cross: A year is a year.

35. Unparalleled: Generally speaking, Hong Kong elder sister is the third ~ your dress is really like a lotus: ugly, ugly, and Asian elder sister relies on a dexterous hand for the ninth. Lotus: Your beauty is from the inside out, promoting blood circulation and nourishing face, and it is pure and beautiful, which makes people pity. There is another moment that should last forever. Lotus: Your beauty is unparalleled: Your beauty is unparalleled: your whole family is beautiful. Your temperament is incomparable: you have a good figure. Lotus: You have good skin. You are incomparable. The only drawback is that it is too conspicuous and easy to cause traffic accidents. Your shortcoming is too perfect to be regretted. Furong: Your regret is incomparable: you didn't crave such good DNA when you voted for the wrong baby.

36. The shopkeeper stole Beckham's letter and Xiao Guo saw it. Xiao Guo: What if it's an urgent letter? Manager: Can you insert a chicken feather in the letter in an emergency? This is obviously a trivial matter.

37. Shopkeeper: What is your goal? Guo: Be a generation of Woman! Shopkeeper: This goal is too far away. Tell me something closer. Guo: Pay rise! Shopkeeper: This one is farther than that one just now ~

Thief: Are you such a thief? Stealing things to help people clean up their houses and stealing saints (white): Can you not clean up? I have to follow the footprints. Thief: You have something. You will return them to others in a few days. Theft of Saint: Can I not send it back? You are not in a hurry to lose things!

39. Lv Xiucai: Who has the highest flying skills throughout the ages? -Ji Cao Cao (speaking of the devil) Who has the strongest position? -Ji: Liu Bei's son (who can't afford it, this is called a thousand-pound pendant), whose hidden weapons is the most ruthless? -Ji: Zhuge Liang (Zhuge Liang chopped Ma Su with tears, others picked Ye Fei flowers, and he flew with tears) Who has the strongest internal strength? -Ji: Zhuge Liang (Kong Ming plays the piano and retreats, invincible ultrasound): Who is so boring? -Ji is not sick: Zhang Fei (Zhang Fei eats scales and is determined to win. Who eats that normal person? )

40. Don't treat people as improper cadres.

4 1. Ask whether this mountain is the highest in the world. A loving baby is like a treasure. If the sky is affectionate, it will grow old. I love you so much that I can't forget it. I can't forget your tears, your goodness, your intoxicating lingering, and the faint smell of tobacco between my fingers.

42. Stealing a clock in Lightning Speed is like breaking bamboo ~ ~

43. Advertisement: Mouth: Hey, I burned the pot again. How can I do this job? Shopkeeper: Are you still cooking in an iron pan? It's time to change. The hall door non-stick pot adopts the latest hall door copper technology in Sichuan, which has large heating area, uniform heat transfer and rapid heating. If you put a little oil, you can cook delicious Yao. And easy to clean, not easy to stick to the pot. Now I'll give you a set of hidden weapons made exclusively by Tangmen, on a first-come-first-served basis. It is sold in major hotels and weapons stores. Welcome to inquire. Mouth: Cooking in a non-stick pan is good for you.

44. quarrel with your daughter-in-law, but don't start work easily; Even if you want to start work, don't fight to the death; If killed, don't delay treatment; If you are executed alive, don't forget to inform us to attend the funeral.

Yu Xiang: Let's get out of here first. We can't go back to Shaanxi anyway. We can go all the way south to Dali ... Xiaoguo: Alas, Dali is so beautiful and the scenery is so beautiful! Yu Xiang: Take a breath in Dali, and then we will go to Myanmar ... Mouth: Myanmar is good, bananas are delicious! Yu Xiang: If there are still suitors in Myanmar, let's go to Thailand again ... Xiaoguo: Alas ~ ~ The temples in Thailand are wonderful ~ ~! Haha Xiang Yu: If Thailand still can't stay, then let's go to Japan by sea ... Everyone (resolutely, turn around, disgust): No! ! Yu Xiang: What about Koryo ... Everyone (turns around and agrees): OK. Yu Xiang: journey to the south to Siberia, change to sleigh, go straight to the Arctic Circle, then go all the way south from Alaska, cross the equator, travel long distances, go straight to the frozen soil of the Antarctic Circle, and then ... Everybody: Do you still want to go? ! Yu Xiang: The last step, after reaching the Antarctic Circle, take enough dry food and water, take a rocket, fly into space, land on the surface of Mars and start a new life! Everyone was intoxicated. . . Scholar: What if there are trackers on Mars? Everyone will beat up the scholar.

46. Zi said: Knowledge is power. Which child? Bacon!

47. What's your last name? Call it? Where are you from? Where are you going? How many people are there in the family? How many acres of land per capita? How many cows are there in the field? Tell me about it. . .

48. Tong Xiangyu's mantra: Oh, my God! The catch phrase of criminals: dear mother! My pet phrase: Avalanche's pet phrase: Zi once said. My pet phrase: sunflower acupuncturist Zhu's pet phrase: Let me do it! Mo Xiaobei's mantra: Sister-in-law ~ ~ ~ ~ (very sour) Yan Xiaoliu's mantra: Help me take care of my seventh uncle and his three nieces!

49. Eat other people's food and let yourself speak.

50. Why are you holding chamber pot? Can't I take a shower?

5 1. I wish you a long life, childless.

52. The shopkeeper pushed the responsibility of protecting Laobai to the scholar, followed by Ji Wuming. . . Scholar: Wait a minute, Confucius. Force can't solve any problems. Everyone; What son? Scholar: Lu Zi. Ji: I'll die as you want me to. Next time, you don't have to shout first. Take your life-scholar: wait-you can kill me, but you have to explain first, whose hand did I die? Ji: nonsense, I. Scholar: I ... am ... who ... Ji: How do I know who you are? The scholar said with a smile: Here comes the question ... Ji was at a loss for a moment: What do you mean ... Scholar: This has to start with the relationship between man and the universe. You've always had a question. . . Ji: Scholar, what do you mean? Me, who is it? Ji: Well, I already know. Scholar: No, you didn't. Do you know who you are? Ji wuming? No, just a name, a generation number. You can call Ji Wuming or I can call Ji Wuming. They can have both. Who are you after you take off your code name? Ji: I don't know, and I don't need to know the scholar: OK, OK, then you can answer me one more question-who am I? Ji: The scholar has already asked this question: No, I just asked the ID. Now I ask Ji: What's the difference? Scholar: For example, I have a conversation with my code name, and your code name is also me. What does this mean? Does this mean that you are me and I am you ... Ji: Is this question meaningless? Scholar: Then ask some meaningful questions. Where did I come from and where did I die? Why should I appear in this world? What does my appearance mean to the world? Did the world choose me, or did I choose the world? Enough ... scholar: am I necessarily connected with the universe? Does the universe have an end? Is there a time limit? Where does the past time disappear and where does the future time stop? Is the question I'm asking now still the question you just mentioned? Ji: I killed you-the scholar shouted: Who killed me, who did I kill? Ji: Did I kill me? Scholar: Correct answer! Do it! ..... So, a great master Ji Wuming passed away ... The last scholar: He won't wake up again, will he? Old white; I don't think so. Xiao Guo: Scholar, what kind of statement is this? Knowledge is posture!

53. If God gives me another chance, I will definitely say three words to you: ..... less salt! ! !

54. verbally capture a small red lipstick action

55. A drop on your face makes your heart sweet. Women should be kind to themselves.

56. This is Guo Furong. I don't know martial arts. I come from Jianghu. I'm different.

57. Guo Furong Inter-Star Catcher: What a bully (dad) in Qixia Town! Li Dazui: Who is that mother?

58. Child shopkeeper: A woman's happiness is to marry a man and serve him all her life. Guo Furong: Why didn't he wait on me all his life? Child shopkeeper: Do you know why you can't get married?

59. Teacher: Is this Li Kui jy? Mo Xiaobei: No, this is Zhang Fei. Teacher: Oh, how about this? Mo Xiaobei: Yue Fei. Teacher: How about this? Mo Xiaobei: Faye Wong. Everybody: What does Faye Wong do? One more actor: sing!

60. Laobai: Read the whole Norwegian forest. Scholar: Come on, what age is this? There is no such petty book to read. Laobai: No, you can't write?

6 1. Scholar: Why not let me write Spring Festival couplets? Wife of shop-owner: Your handwriting is too thin to celebrate. Save it for Qingming.

62. One word: two Chinese words: three sharp words: four words Mother: Oh, dear!

63. Big mouth: Is it particularly scary to put money under your feet? Money shopkeeper: You'll know when you get married. That's why men have corns

64. Mouth: Boss, you know nothing. Because of her face, rapid changes and high acting skills, only Xia Qing and Yu Man can compare with her in this life ... Zhan Tang: That's because she is in poor condition, and Xia Qing Yu Man's performance is beyond her level. ...

65. Good performance. There are no good actors now.

66. Bai: OK. Have you ever learned to embroider penguins? Guo: That's Yuanyang! !

I was wrong. I was really wrong. I shouldn't get married. If I don't get married, my husband will never die. ...

68. Qian Furen is terrible ~ but she is too strong to live ~ Xiao Qiang is not as strong as her ~ ~

69. Life is alive, eat, drink and be merry!

70. Laobai: Welcome to Qixia Town's costume variety show with the highest ratings. I wipe me, I wipe the old white: Welcome to the costume variety show with the highest ratings in China. I wash, I wash, I wash and I wash Laobai: Welcome to the costume variety show with the highest ratings in the world. I procrastinate, I procrastinate. Welcome to the costume variety show with the highest ratings in the universe. I pull, I pull, I pull.

7 1. Lv Xiucai: The breeze and the bright moon tickle my heart, dig my heart! (asking the proprietress) What other words are there? Boss: Steal my heart! Lv Xiucai: Yes! The breeze and the bright moon stole my heart!

72. Stealing Saint (White): Oops! Oh, my God! What kind of trick is this ~ ~ this ~ this makes! This is! ! ? Xiao Guo: Don't ~ ~ Don't ~ Is this the legendary one ... knife ... two sections! ! !

73. Someone keeps a pig at home, which is annoying! I abandoned it. It failed several times, but it knew the way home. After driving for a few days to abandon the pig, I called at night and my husband said: Will the pig come back? Wife: Go home! Her husband was furious: let it embrace Egypt? Do you want to play on the moon?

74. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Tongfu Inn to participate in the first Chicken King Competition. It gave birth to our history and civilization. Time flies, it makes us hard-working and kind. In this clear sky, we are free to sing and fly in this vast land!

75. Conspiracy is the enemy of love!

76. Bai Zhantang: Who is the acting school, swearing? (Then turns around, intoxicated) I am an idol. .

77. Laobai: You really can't help Adou ~ ~ Big mouth: Who is Adou? Laobai (bold): Water Margin, one hundred and nine generals. Mouth: What are you talking about? There are 108 in Water Margin. I still believe in the Three Kingdoms. Laobai (relieved): You are really right this time. You are the son of Liu Bei in the Three Kingdoms. Mouth: You are lying to me again. He is not Liu Bei's son. Otherwise, Liu Bei's surname is Liu, and his surname is ah ~ ~ ~ (When he opens his mouth, Lao Bai is in great pain. When he hit the table with his head, one mouthful blood came out-)

78. Furong: You are a widow. Shopkeeper: You are a melon seed.

79. The money shopkeeper was beaten black and blue by Qian Furen because he kept three pence. They asked him what happened to his eyes. Money shopkeeper: I hit the door ~ ~ Everyone: Can you hit the door like this? Money shopkeeper: I hit the door first, then bounced against the wall, and the wall bounced too hard and hit the door again. ...

80. Scholar: If I can forget Xiao Guo, I can talk big even if I lose everything: the point is that you don't seem to have any property.

8 1. Tong Xiangyu is going to marry Lao Bai! ! Beckham doesn't want a sister-in-law: Your brother is dead. Beckham: You just can't marry someone else. You were born in Hengshan school! Sister-in-law: Then I can't live! Beckham: You are a dead man of Hengshan Sect! Sister-in-law: What's the use of asking for a corpse? ! Beckham: Then you are also the body of Hengshan School!

82. Xianhui, you can't do anything at home!

83. The world is so beautiful, but I am so grumpy, okay ~ ~

84. Shopkeeper: Naihe Bridge is far away. Laobai: You open the window, jump with your head down, and you get to Naihe Bridge.

85. Liu: I'm the catcher and you're the runner. . . Laobai: Run? Xiaoliu:? A simple errand! !

86. Furong: Do you know how my mother tied my father at home?

87. Furong and Xiucai got angry and smashed plates to vent their anger. The shopkeeper shouted, this is my property, not your program!

88. Beckham said to the shopkeeper, you coward wife! Everybody: Coward wife? Beckham: Men are called cowards and women are called cowards.

89. Mrs Zhang: How can you have your cake and eat it? Scholar: This is impossible. Mrs. Zhang: Keep a bear that can catch fish.

90. Beckham is going to Huashan to discuss swords. Mouth: I have nothing for you either. Take this begging jar. If there is nothing to eat along the way, go out and ask for something to eat. Don't starve yourself anyway. Guo: I'll give you this dog stick. If you want to have dinner with wild dogs, a guy has the final say: this penny is my exclusive sponsor. You must leave some flowers. How to get to Huashan? (Looking at Laobai) Laobai: That's enough. Scholar: (wiping tears) Take this rope. If you meet a mountain thief on the way, you can hang yourself from a tree. Shopkeeper: If you are kidnapped by a mountain thief, you must cry and let the mountain thief write a blackmail letter to your sister-in-law. Twelve taels of silver or less is acceptable. I asked Laobai to redeem you. If it's more than twelve taels, I'll take your body myself. Beckham: I'm only worth twelve taels of silver? Shopkeeper: Then. . . Twenty taels? I can't take it out anymore. Laobai: Take this bag of black coal ash with you. When you meet a mountain thief, you wipe your face with black coal ash and pretend to be a little black blind man. (Touching Beckham's face) What a nice condition. This little face is chubby.

9 1. Yue Zhangmen: Yue Songtao meets Mo Zhangmen Mo Xiaobei: When did you meet me?

92. Xiaomi: In case Mr. Yue's head relented for a moment, he gave Beckham a chance. . . Mouth: but she will collapse ~ ~ ~

93. Xiaoji told Xiaobai that the two of them joined hands to protect the capital for one year, make profits for two years, and go public for three years, that is, they went downtown to steal it. By then, everyone knows that they will do whatever they want in broad daylight, and no one dares to care. Then he was intoxicated and asked Xiao Bai what state it should be. Xiaobai replied: heaven and earth. Xiao Bai: What is listing Xiao Ji: Going downtown?

94. Bai Zhantang said, "We share weal and woe, so let's call it Tongfu Inn." Li Dazui asked, "Why not share weal and woe?" Silence. .

95. Is this your mother's fencing? No swearing! This is your mother's fencing? Don't swear ~ didn't you say that this is your mother's fencing?

96. My proudest right hand can eat with a knife.

97. Furong: Suppose I can shoot you to death with three hands. Every time I clap your hand, you will scream, "Woman, how many words do you want to say before you die? Scholar: I refuse to answer this question. Furong: That's a waiver. Scholar: Scream 3 times, 4 words each time, a total of 12 words. Furong: Wrong! It is nine words! Scholar: Why? Furong: The first palm goes down, "Women forgive", four words; The second palm goes down, "women forgive", eight words. The third palm goes down and you die immediately. You only said one word "ah", 8+ 1=9. hahahaha ...

98. Rules of Chicken King Competition: Exhibition Hall: The weight of chicken should not be less than 8 Jin. Boss: That's the goose exhibition hall: the tail should be longer, not shorter than a few inches (I forgot a few inches). Boss: that's the pheasant exhibition hall: the claw length should not be less than how long. Boss: That's an eagle.

99. Turn off your phone if you don't want to work!

100. Big mouth asks: Is it important for brothers or women? The scholar replied: brothers are like brothers and women are like clothes! Dazzled: Good brothers! The scholar said unhurriedly: Brothers are like centipedes' hands and feet, and women are like winter clothes!

10 1. Court adjourned! I'm a little thirsty to go to the bathroom!

102. Why don't you come back when you have a baby and a wife? You should die of old age when you have a baby. Why don't you come back?

103. Laobai: Welcome to this issue of "It's good not to know the Jianghu". You are not as happy as me, and your satisfaction is not as good as mine. Are you satisfied? Speak louder, you can't hear the crowd: dissatisfied! Laobai: OK, then stay calm and make a guest appearance.