-Nietzsche's Dawn

Nietzsche explained this sentence: when we severely criticize others, we are seen by a third party. At this time, our character will be exposed, and the third party will definitely think that we are a person with inferior character and then hate us. Therefore, when others make mistakes, we'd better not scold too much.

However, we have to admit that people make mistakes, such as our subordinates and children. At this time, we need to criticize and correct their behavior. So, what should we do? Let's look at the following story first:

John Calvin Coolidge became president of the United States on 1923. He has a beautiful female secretary. Although she is beautiful, she often makes mistakes in her work because of carelessness.

One morning, Coolidge saw the secretary come into the office and said to her, "This dress you are wearing today is really beautiful, just suitable for a beautiful lady like you." This sentence comes from Coolidge's mouth, which is simply flattering the female secretary. Coolidge went on to say, "But don't be proud. I believe you can handle official documents as beautifully as you do. " Sure enough, from that day on, female secretaries rarely make mistakes when dealing with official documents.

After learning about this, a friend asked Coolidge, "This method is wonderful. How did you come up with it? " Coolidge proudly said, "It's very simple. Have you ever seen a barber shave someone? " He wants to put some soapy water on people first. Why? It's just a scratch, which makes people feel no pain. "

This is the famous "soapy water effect", which tells people to take clever and correct ways when criticizing others, so as to reduce the negative effects of criticism and achieve the purpose of criticism. Put criticism in praise, reduce the negative effects of criticism, and let the criticized accept their own criticism happily. Cleverly use praise instead of criticism, and achieve direct goals in a seemingly tortuous way.

Everyone has self-esteem. Criticizing and accusing others directly in public may cause strong refutation from the other side, and find some reasons to defend yourself. Maybe you will fight silently, take it orally, and bear a grudge from now on. So psychologists all said in unison, "Don't swear in public." This is very reasonable. Criticism is a serious matter, but it does not rule out making the criticized person laugh happily. Euphemism, tactfulness, make the other side get the message, make the criticized person receive criticism education in relaxed, lively and pleasant laughter, and know their own shortcomings and mistakes, which is an effective way to carry out criticism.

At the end of the criticism, if the other party is still unwilling or angry, then such criticism is unsuccessful. So, don't put things on hold until they are solved. You should end your criticism immediately after you come to a conclusion. After the interview, be sure to comfort each other. Because the last impression left on the other side is very important-let him feel comforted rather than scolded, in order to get better results.

Therefore, we can say that whether your criticism is "successful" depends to a great extent on your grasp of criticism. No one likes to be criticized, so don't believe that "it's fun to listen". If you blame others blindly, or simply explain your own point of view, you will find that you can get nothing but others' disgust and dissatisfaction. However, if you can make the other person feel that you are here to solve problems and correct mistakes, instead of just venting your dissatisfaction, you will succeed.