If you don't trust your partner, you will change each other and maximize your own interests. Similarly, your partner wants to change you to achieve his selfish goal. When you lack trust, you will no longer consider each other's interests.
3. Trust is not a vague quality between two people. Trust arises when both parties are willing to change their behavior for the benefit of the other party. The more you trust your relationship, the more you care about each other. You will get the support of your lover and vice versa.
The degree of mutual trust between two people refers to how deep their feelings are and how deep they protect each other. On the contrary, trustworthiness refers to how willing a person is to sacrifice himself for this relationship, sometimes ignoring his own needs for the benefit of two people. Trust and credibility often complement each other. If a couple has a high degree of trust, their credibility is usually high. Similarly, low trust will not lead to high credibility.
5. Beautiful box: A beautiful box contains positive emotions and behaviors, such as interest, entertainment, humor, laughter, excitement, pleasure, recognition and sympathy.
6. Repair is a life jacket for marriage and love. The effect of repair determines the survival of marriage. Repairing is not complicated. Common repair techniques include joking, praising, shaking hands and asking questions.
7. Perhaps my most important discovery about good partners is that they can always transfer unpleasant emotions to a beautiful box accurately and quickly.
8. In all my research, I found that one person's positive action is enough to reduce the physiological stress index of others.
9. Neutral box: A neutral box contains behaviors and emotions that are neither positive nor negative. Both sides can keep calm when expressing their differences.
10. Men are more likely to become "angry" in an argument than women. When we compare the physiological reports of both sides, we will find that men will send out more obvious physiological signals when they are upset. Because the body does not hide its response to threats, a man may explode like a wild animal and forget that it is only his angry partner in front of him.
1 1. The state of "rage" is fatal to marriage.
12. Although psychologists have given "communication" many meanings, I define it as an adult's desire for understanding and respect from his partner's heart and his ability to gain understanding and respect. Communication is a plan to build and restore trust in a long-term marriage. When there is a lack of communication, partners will show that they don't understand each other's inner world, or they can't have supportive communication.
13. Sliding door moment: When one person expresses the need to contact, the other person's reaction can be to open the door or close the door and turn away. This is a critical moment to develop intimate relationships.
14. Every invitation in marriage will open what I call a "sliding door moment". When one person expresses the need to contact, the other person's reaction can be to open the sliding door and walk in, or to close the sliding door and turn away.
15. All long-term relationships will be troubled by improper use of sliding doors. Even those masters of love sometimes can't enter when their partners show sadness, fatigue and even happiness. He may be tired, bored or distracted. We usually don't consider our reactions, or we don't respond at all. Because we don't think the reaction to these trivial things will make much sense.
16. If the "troublemaker" can apologize for what he did before and take due responsibility, this gap will be repaired. If, on the contrary, this party chooses to escape and let the injury and anger develop, it will cause what I call "regret time." The outbreak of conflict may be an unfortunate scene in the history of their relationship. Every event will erode the trust of partners in each other.