Sketch: Beauty Contest

Village Chief: Dear viewers and friends, our Chicken Claw Village Beauty Contest is now starting. There will be one first prize in this Grand Prix, and the prize is an egg. One blue. One second prize will be given, and the prize will be verbal encouragement. Now we welcome the two beauties to the stage with applause. (The athletes' march is played, and the two contestants march onto the stage.)

1. I am the No. 1 beauty.

2. I am beauty number 2.

1. My name is Brigitte Lin.

2. My name is Maggie Cheung.

Cun: Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, you both have changed your names.

1. No, village chief, they said that my half-shaded face looks like Brigitte Lin, so they called me Brigitte Lin.

2. I call me Maggie Cheung because my arms are as thick as Maggie Cheung’s thighs. Haha

1. I came to participate in the beauty pageant today to express my love for life. Thank you.

2. To tell the truth, I came to participate in the beauty pageant today for all the handsome guys, because everyone knows that it is difficult to be a man, and it is even more difficult to be a woman. It is even more difficult to be a woman who looks like me. More difficult than ever.

1. I am eighteen years old, and everyone praises me when they see me.

2. I am nineteen years old and everyone trembles when they see me.

1. I look more fashionable.

2. I look more elegant.

1. My figure is very plump.

2. My figure is very full.

1. My philosophy of life is: it is rare to be confused.

2. My philosophy of life is not to kiss smelly mosquitoes.

1. My favorite quote is: Give me a fulcrum and I will lift the earth up.

2. My most admired saying is: Give me a bowl of eggs, and I will eat three more bowls of rice.

Village Chief: Ah, now let me introduce our No. 1 player Brigitte Lin. She is a versatile literary and artistic talent in our village who is good at singing and dancing.

1. Yes, the village chief, Brigitte Lin’s agent, said he wanted to package mine.

Village Chief: Yes, yes, I have heard of it.

2. There is a small time limit. She must wait until Brigitte Lin dies to package her.

1. Village chief,

Village chief: don’t be angry, don’t be angry, she is jealous of you. Ah, Brigitte Lin once played a particularly important role in a very famous police film.

1. Village chief, don’t talk about that police movie. It is the pride of my life. I performed so well in this movie and I was always at the forefront.

2. They must be at the front, followed by a police dog.

1. Bah!

Village Chief: Qing sister, don’t be angry, don’t be angry, behave well in a while and make her mad.

Village Chief: Oh, let’s start the game now. Let’s separate from here. This side is yours, sister, and that side is yours.

The first event to enter the competition is singing. There is a requirement for singing. The side with the most applause will win.

2. Is it enough to have more applause?

Village chief; yes, yes, yes

1. Everyone, please help. Let me sing "Qinghai-Tibet Plateau" that is not sung by (ordinary) people, Yalasuo -

Village Chief: It sounds good, oh, it is true that a real person does not show his face, and he who shows his face is not a human being.

2. Village chief, no matter how good she sings, she can only get one round of applause. (Village chief: The applause is very warm.) If I sing more than her, I win, right? (Yes, yes) Listen, at least twice more than her.

Friends, we are tired of sitting here, let us move around and do this action together with my singing.

We have to get over there.

Sing: If you are happy, clap your hands, bang, bang.

If you are happy, clap your hands, bang, bang.

If you are happy, let’s all come together, bang, bang.

If you are happy, clap your hands, bang, bang. Haha, two more times!

Village Chief: No, no, what the hell are you talking about? Today is the Grand Prix, and you have to show off your talents. Let’s see if each of them can sing a song seriously. , (Okay, applause)

1. (Raise hands) I’ll come, I’ll come

Village chief: Okay, you sing first, you sing first

1. I sing an American song: Jambalaya, play the music!

2. Music! American food.

1. After singing, (Village Chief: Applause) Thank you, thank you, (Village Chief: What dish?) Assorted vegetables.

2. What’s so great about her singing assorted dishes? I sing our Chinese opera, I sing a cappella, and I don’t want music. I will sing a piece of Huangmei Opera "Female with a Horse" for everyone, so that everyone can feel what a real woman tastes like. (Singing): ___

2. Is it good?

Village Chief: Hey, you don’t look very good, but your singing is not bad. You two had a fight just now It’s a tie, it seems we have to add another program, (what to add) add a “host”, girl, how about adding a “host”?

1. Good host,

Village Chief: Just like the host of CCTV.

1. I am not an average person in “hosting”.

(Village Chief: Really, that’s good, let’s start)

1. What is science? Science is constant research. Some people say that bats are transformed from mice, but others It is said that mice are cats. What is going on? Please watch the next episode of "Scientific Exploration". Thanks!

Village Chief: Oh, great. Rats are cats.

2. Who would like to watch you just host? Nowadays, hosts need to be attractive and innovative. It’s too cliche. (Village Chief: What’s new?) Today’s hosts need to be creative. Look at the same few words I said below. I will get more applause than her. Let’s look at my “fashion model host” below. (Music)

What is science?

People are exploring science.

People often say that bats are the descendants of mice.

That is definitely a joke.

Some people say that cats usually follow mice.

That must be treating you as a treasure.

People also say that in ancient times, tigers were afraid of people.

So why do tigers eat people now?

I can explain this to you. ,

That’s because: Wu Song was all to blame.

Village Chief: Ah, both of them performed well just now. Now everyone is asked to vote for the results. We agree that our No. 1 contestant Lin Qingxia applauds the champion——

Ah, quite a lot. , quite a few.

I agree with our No. 2 contestant Maggie Cheung’s applause for the champion——

There are quite a few,

Now I announce that the winner of the Grand Prix is——

This is troublesome. She is more energetic than you, and that is Maggie Cheung. Thanks!