The most humorous and funny sentences

1. Holding a kitchen knife in hand to cut the wire, sparks and lightning along the way.

2. No one loves anyone who has his hands in his pockets.

3. Time is too thin and the gaps between fingers are too wide.

4. There are countless cages in time, but the most difficult one to get out of is the cage in our hearts.

5. Life is like breathing. Exhaling is to get out a breath, and inhaling is to get a breath.

6. If you don’t trouble yourself, others will never trouble you. Because in your own heart, you can't let go.

7. Only by knowing yourself, surrendering yourself, and changing yourself can you change others.

8. Life can be played appropriately, but life cannot be played.

9. What people want to see is not you at the starting line, but you at the end.

10. People hate lies, and sometimes they are willing to fall into lies spun by themselves or others.

11. Human desire is like a kite. It must be flown but also controlled.

12. The most contradictory thing between lovers is that they fantasize about each other’s future, but miss each other’s past.

13. I can’t play music, chess, calligraphy and painting, but I feel tired from doing laundry and cooking.

14. Fear of father is filial piety, fear of wife is love.

15. Women don’t care about being decent. Being decent is because they are not tempted enough. Men don’t care about being loyal. They are loyal because the stakes for betrayal are too low.

16. The direction against the wind is more suitable for flying. I'm not afraid of thousands of people blocking me, I'm just afraid of surrendering myself.

17. What are you unhappy about? Tell it to make everyone happy.

18. You must always be grateful to the sentient beings who gave you adversity.

19. You must always forgive all living beings. No matter how bad they are, or even if they have hurt you, you must let them go in order to gain true happiness.

20. You have to accept your fate at any time because you are human.

21. When you let go, there will be no worries.

22. If you see the faults and rights and wrongs of sentient beings every day, you must quickly repent. This is practice.

23. You can have love, but don’t be persistent, because separation is inevitable.

24. If you are angry for one minute, you will lose 60 seconds of happiness.

25. Strangeness prevents you from understanding unfamiliar things, and familiarity prevents you from understanding familiar things.

Humorous sentences suitable for signatures

1. Reputation cannot be pursued, it can only be possessed naturally.

2. The left side of the brain is full of water, and the right side of the brain is full of flour.

3. As long as you can dance well with a hoe, there is no corner that cannot be dug down?

4. I can’t afford to sleep for a long time in the morning; I feel sleepy at night!

5. If you want to hang out in the world, it’s best to be a bachelor!

6. A new car won’t hinder you, just new people!

7. The living conditions of modern people: going to work today, Sleep on yesterday’s sleep and spend tomorrow’s money.

8. Flowers often belong not to the people who appreciate them, but to the cow dung.

9. I am silly, I am happy. Me two, I'm healthy.

10. I am not a fortune teller in the square, and I can’t talk as much as you like to hear.

11. Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

12. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you because I am not afraid of your death.

13. Life rounds us in order to make us roll further.

14. During class, a female classmate passed a note. I really wanted to yell at her when I saw the content. It said: Are you there?

15. If you are in a bad mood, go to the supermarket and get some instant noodles.

Super funny classic QQ personalized signature

1. If you skillfully use "None of my business" and "None of your business", you can save 80% of your life.

2. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and consequences.

3. Your shortness is lifelong, but my fatness is temporary.

4. Life is like Song Zude’s mouth, you never know who will be unlucky next.

5. The more you learn, the thicker you get, and the more you sit, the fatter you get!

6. Mathematics is a fire, lighting up the lamp of physics; physics is a lamp, lighting up the lamp of chemistry Road; Chemistry is the road, leading to the pit of biology; biology is the pit, burying academic people.

7. If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao.

8. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

9. I will have a period right after graduation; I will have a wife a year after graduation; I will regret having a wife later; I will have a second wife later; and I will regret having a second wife most of all.

10. Salary is like a big aunt, once a month, it disappears in about a week.

Sentences related to humorous signatures: Humorous and Funny Sentences The Most Humorous and Funny Sentences in 2021

Excellent Articles of the Most Humorous and Funny Sentences in 20xx

1. Sister pinches her fingers After calculation, the temperature will not be high tomorrow.

2. A strong life requires no explanation.

3. A man who is as strong as an iron tower never beats or scolds his thin wife every time. He never fights or talks back. Whenever he got angry, he would go to the train station and deliberately leave his money outside for thieves to steal. It would be a disaster to beat the thief! Over time, all the thieves at the train station knew about it. When they saw him coming, they all said, "This grandson." I was angry at home again, and I came out to take it out on someone again!

4. After shopping at the supermarket and checking out, I saw an old lady in front of me spending yuan. She took it out and handed it to the cashier. The cashier looked at your drawer and found that there was no change, so she asked her aunt, "Do you have any?" The old lady smiled from ear to ear and happily replied, "I still have it, I have more sons."

5. At the beginning of the school year, the new teacher pushed in the door, slapped the podium, looked at us coldly, and said, let me tell you, I never follow the principles of heaven. The atmosphere in the class suddenly became a little solemn. After a while, his expression changed and he said because I teach geography

6. It’s not that many Chinese men don’t like to dress up, it’s just that their aesthetics are a little off. Honey confidence. Give an example. The same goes for trying on clothes. My mother would ask me if I looked good, and I would say not. My mom would go back and change them until we were both satisfied. My dad asked me if I looked good in this outfit, and I said I didn’t. He said you know nothing and went out.

7. Yesterday’s year-old niece cried to me on QQ and told me that she broke up with her ex of three weeks last night, and she was extremely sad. She also warned my aunt that love is so hurtful! She also lamented that she wanted to know what love is in the world. , it is a wise decision to teach you that you will live and die together! Then he went on to say that you have not been in love for so many years.

8. After athletes from various countries arrived at the Rio Olympic Village, delegations from other countries took strict precautions against losing things. Only the North Korean delegation took strict precautions against losing athletes and staff.

9. I met my roommate when I got home from get off work today and found that the scent on his body was exactly the same as that on my girlfriend. Damn, this scumbag really spent a lot of money to seduce me.

10. In the recent weather, I lied in bed and braised in braise; spread out a mat and grilled on the teppanyaki; after getting out of bed, steamed; went out and stir-fried; swam and boiled; on the way back, Fried raw; after entering the house, return to the pot. Today is the day and tomorrow will be the day. When you go out, be sure to turn the sides, pay attention to the heat, bring cumin and chili powder, and be sure not to burn it. We are running pork belly, we carry salt for ourselves!

The most humorous and funny sentences in 20xx are classics

1. I was surfing the Internet at the door of the financial office in the afternoon and overheard the two inside. During the women's chat, a normally polite woman made me laugh by saying, "My man is really difficult to take care of. He thinks my breasts are too big during the day and my breasts are small at night. Is this my wife's inflatable?"

2 . When you go to school, discuss with your classmates during the summer vacation, which homework you will do, and which homework I will do, and then copy them alternately! Act according to the plan.

As a result, my classmate took my summer homework to copy, and sent it back a week later to tell me about your summer homework, what did you do, it was all wrong, and I had to correct it for five days before I could copy it with confidence

3. As a member of the system, my seniors told me when I first joined the company that there are two types of female colleagues who should not be offended. One is the beautiful ones who have a powerful godfather behind them; the other is the ugly ones who have a powerful godfather behind them. 's biological father.

4. When he returned to his hometown after many years in Beijing, his mother slowly came out of the kitchen, holding a pot of tea in her hand, and told him with concern that he was tired from walking, so drink it quickly. This is the tea made by her mother. . He blushed, raised his orchid fingers and took the teacup.

5. News Tutorial: An old lady fell and knocked her tooth on the road. How did the reporter report it? The Hong Kong Press Club investigated whether there were any hidden dangers in municipal road construction! The Taiwan Press Club tracked who would pay for the medical insurance. How much does it cost to fill a tooth? American journalists will pay attention to the social problems of the elderly. How do marginalized elderly people live? In mainland China, it is "One person loses a tooth and everyone helps", "There is no love in the road" and "The old man loses his tooth, should he be helped or not?"

6. My husband has birthmarks dotted like pockmarks on his buttocks. One day I was chatting with my best friend and said that there was a discussion on the Internet that if you died of an injury in your previous life, the injured area would become a birthmark in this life. My bestie blurted out that your husband was impaled to death by sitting on a cactus in his last life. Haha, my bestie is so funny! Wait! How do you know what birthmark my husband has on his butt?!

7. The first few chapters Days are moody. I told my medical friend that I wanted to commit suicide. Use your hand to indicate cutting your wrist. My friend who studied medicine said that it was wrong for me to cut like this. Only skin injuries are not fatal. When it comes to excitement, he drew an entry point for me with a pen

8. In July, I will study hard and make progress every day, and I will definitely not play with mobile phones or fall in love. If I can’t do it, I’ll post it again in August.

9. While I was eating, the power went out. I quickly took a few mouthfuls of rice, and suddenly the light came on. I exclaimed, could this be the legendary "Pala Lala" light?

10. I was walking alone at night, it was very dark around me, and I was so handsome and so scared, I was afraid that others wouldn't see me.

11. I want to go to the movies with my boyfriend recently. I would like to ask everyone to recommend if there are any good boyfriends.

12. If God closes a door for me, then please close the window. Dad will turn on the air conditioner.

13. Is League of Legends more important or am I more important? I dare to play League of Legends but I dare not to beat you. Who do you think is more important?

Recommendations for the most humorous and funny sentences in 20xx

1. Since the final exam, my status in the family has changed from a first-level protected animal to a wild animal, which makes the baby feel miserable.

2. You can’t be friends with someone who has few eyebrows. If you take a photo, you won’t let her have her eyebrows whitened, because once she whitens them, her eyebrows will disappear.

3. Once upon a time, two hedgehogs fell in love, and finally they went to the barber shop to become two voles.

4. My roommate kept a pot of cactus. I accidentally touched it today. I quickly reached out and grabbed it back without saying anything. I am so brave.

5. If you think there is something wrong with me, please tell me. I won’t change it anyway, so don’t hold it in and get sick.

6. If you are even a little bit nice to others, I will have the urge to strangle you to death instantly.

7. The exam is coming soon, and it can be divided into two types of people: I went to take the exam and I went to take the exam; after the exam, there are also two types of people: I finished the exam and I depended on it.

8. Every time the aunt in the cafeteria hears that get out of class is over, she will silently say: The enemy has seconds to reach the battlefield.

9. I ate quietly, just as I gained weight quietly, and I slept in, but I was full of fat.

10. I feel that being ugly must be a disease! Otherwise, why are plastic surgery hospitals called hospitals?

11. The boy at the station was quite handsome, so I walked up to him and grabbed it. His potato chips ran away.

12. Once upon a time, there was a hide-and-seek company, and their boss has not found it yet.

13. Go meet the people you want to meet. Take advantage of the sunshine. Take advantage of the gentle breeze. Take advantage of the flowers before they bloom.

14. Every time I walk on the street, I will see an extremely ugly man with his arms around a girl who is as beautiful as a fairy.

15. Every girl wants to have a eighth brother, but unfortunately not everyone can be Qingchuan.

16. Why do you look like a kid?

17. Do you dare to take it off? I’ll just say it’s chocolate

18 . What is cheap is not people, but feelings.

19. Life is like toilet paper, try to tear it as little as possible.

20. When I play on the computer, my parents are watching. I usually refresh the desktop and don’t click on QQ messages. I just listen to music calmly.

21. Dark skinned Gay people can become invisible at night

22. What did we do in childhood? Do you still remember? The funniest, humorous and hilarious sentences About the funniest, humorous and hilarious sentences

A selection of the funniest, humorous and hilarious sentences

1) The reason for constipation is that the earth’s gravity is too small.

2) I don’t know if I went to college or if college went to me.

3) Most people only do three things in their lives: deceiving themselves, deceiving others, and being deceived.

4) Pain is the enjoyment that can only be enjoyed by sober people

5) Don’t compare yourself to me, I am too lazy to compare with you.

6) College is all about learning!

7) I have a green dragon on the left, a white tiger on the right, and a Mickey Mouse tattoo on my shoulder.

8) Other people’s money is my personal belongings.

9) I can’t sleep for a long time in the morning; I feel like I’m sleeping at night!

10) I’ve been really busy recently, and it’s hard to even get an hour of sleep a day!

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A collection of the funniest and most hilarious sentences

1) Look into my eyes, and besides the eye guano, you will see perseverance and sincerity.

2) The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight. At the graduation job fair, someone said to him: Brother, let me go, you are blocking my mobile phone signal.

3) As long as you can dance well with a hoe, there is no corner that cannot be dug down?

4) There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage, or money!

5) Why do you need to sleep for a long time when you are alive? You will sleep forever after death.

6) I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late

7) Rats never waste time at night, but we humans waste one-third of every day.

8) Study deliberately, work deliberately, live deliberately, and live like a human being!

9) Put down your college student airs and find a meal first!

< p> 10) Two dung beetles were discussing the welfare lottery. A said: If I win the jackpot, I will buy all the toilets in the radius and eat enough every day! B said: You are so vulgar! If I win the jackpot, I will Keep a living person and eat fresh food every day!

11) I only believe in two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

12) Life is so fucking fun, because life keeps fucking playing with me.

13) The inner beauty that men refer to refers to the inside of the body, not the heart.

14) God has given you a pair of wings, so you should be braised

15) What’s the use of a handsome man? Can I swipe credit cards with my face at the bank?

< p> 16) It is said that men become bad when they are rich, but I have been a good man for more than 20 years!

17) When arguing with others, take a step back and the world will be brighter; when chasing your girlfriend, take a step back The building was empty.

18) It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers.

Looking back, I actually ran around naked for the whole New Year!

19) Look at a beautiful girl, Kunai has no way to strike up a conversation, pick up a brick on the side of the road, come forward, classmate, this is what you dropped Right?

20) In the dark night, I suddenly wanted to study, but when I found the candle, it was already dawn

21) These days, I still hang up all day People in QQ have nothing to do except go to work, and they are the ones no one loves after get off work

22) From heaven to hell, I passed by the world!

23) On the way to awesomeness , I ran all the way!

24) There is always time and opportunity for things to be done, and excuses for things not to be done.

25) Not only do I have a car, I also drive my own bike

26) Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I couldn’t even drink the northwest wind

27 ) I climbed to the top of the ladder with great difficulty, but found that the ladder was placed on the wrong wall

28) Facing the crowd in front of me, I had to pass through and be cool, I know you are watching from the side, Quite fake

29) The peacock tried its best to open its tail, but its butthole was exposed!

30) I tried my best to gather myself, just like the stone I clenched tightly, in order to throw it farther !

31) I ran as hard as I could, but I couldn’t get rid of the sadness that followed closely.

32) The higher you fly, the smaller you appear in the eyes of those who can’t fly. .

33) There are some things that we cannot control, so we have to control ourselves.

34) The brother’s emotional life in the past was also quite messy.

35) I spent ten thousand yuan to buy a Western Zhou clay pot. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: Is this from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week!

36) Fish said: I keep my eyes open all the time so that I can’t bear to leave you. Water says: I flow tirelessly all day long just to surround you and hold you tightly. Guo said: It’s almost cooked and there’s still so much nonsense.

37) I have never become an excellent college student, relying on my strong character!

38) I want the whole world to know that I am very low-key!

39) Unloading the burden that cannot be unloaded, the road that cannot be retreated; the tears that cannot be endured, the future that cannot be pursued.

40) Fireworks blooming in the night sky at the same time, we can see each other's beautiful moments, but I can't light up your life. The most humorous and funny sentences in 2021. Humorous short sentences

Outstanding articles on the most humorous and funny sentences in 20xx

1. I’m in a bad mood now and can’t do anything except eat.

2. If the exam could be upgraded, I’m probably still Minus one level

3. When I put the quilt on myself every night, I feel like I’m buried in ashes

4. Others think I’m deep in thought, but in fact I’m just looking at a dime on the ground to see if it’s okay. Pick it up

5. Life is short and must be sexy, and a tough life does not need to be understood

6. Heroes do not ask about the way out, and rogues do not care about age!

7. I come quietly, leave quietly, wave my dagger, and leave no one alive.

8. Life is really fun, because life is always fun.

9. I only believe in two people in the world, one is me and the other is not you.

10. If you are desperate, why not walk? Just take a bus.

11. Without clothes I am a beast, but with clothes on I am a beast!

12. Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art!

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13. God said there should be light, but I said I opposed it, so there was darkness in the world.

14. Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!

15. If you prey on the common people, the common people will prey on you

20xx Classics of the most humorous sentences of the year

1. Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me anymore.

2. There is gold under the man's knee. I cut off the whole leg and couldn't even find a piece of copper!

3. Instead of reading Chinese for the New Year, it is better to chat on QQ for half a year.

4. If my friends can sell them for five yuan each, I can make a small fortune.

5. Master, please forgive me! After a long, long time, Master, please forgive me!

6. When I was a child, I thought I could save my life when I grew up. The whole world, when I grew up I realized that the whole world couldn't save me.

7. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and it only takes a bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.

8. We can hide from everyone, but we cannot hide from a fly. It's often the little things in life that make us unhappy.

9. Stupid man + stupid woman = marriage; stupid man + smart woman = divorce; smart man + stupid woman = extramarital affair; smart man + smart woman = romantic love.

10. Women have countless QQ accounts just to tease a man. Men often use one QQ account to add various women.

11. This world is unfair because God said I want light! So there was daylight. The beauty said I want a diamond ring! So she got a diamond ring. The rich man said I want a woman! So he got a woman. I said I wanted to take a shower! The water was turned off

12. If you overdraft your phone bill by RMB 10,000, you will get a life sentence, and if you hit someone and kill someone, you will get a life sentence; if you make a malicious withdrawal of RMB 10,000 from an ATM, you will get a life sentence, and if you embezzle tens of millions, you will get a life sentence. Famous Quotes

13. Don’t say forever, don’t say forever, who can promise the future? What we can grasp is nothing more than the feelings of the time and place. But a lifetime is also made up of countless present moments. If you work hard for every moment, it will last forever.

14. If you ask friends around you about words, if nine out of ten people say they don’t know, then this is an opportunity. If all nine out of ten people know it, it is an industry.

15. When interacting with others, listen more and talk less. This is why God gave us one mouth and two ears.

16. Meng Po soup is so delicious. What does it taste like? I forgot

17. I heard that you gave birth to a baby naturally. If you don’t give birth naturally, is it still an unfaithful child?

Recommendations for the most humorous and funny sentences in 20xx

1. Please stay in a ball and leave the earth in a round shape, thank you

2. Comrade Lei Feng must be unlucky or do good deeds Always discovered

3. Why does Bao Qingtian have a moon on his forehead? Because he doesn’t understand his darkness during the day

4. You tell me to get out, I get out, you ask me to come back, Sorry for being stuck

5. I am the most trustworthy person, I will definitely not pay you back if I don’t pay you back

6. I have been running in the fields of hope, It is inevitable that you will not trip over the stone of disappointment

7. Don’t challenge my patience with your temper, otherwise you will die beautifully

8. Isn’t it true that you look like this? Mistake, it is simply a sin

9. You are invisible and I am talking to you, but you can’t hold it back. Your spirit is worth learning

10. Cheating men are like money in shit. If you don't pick it up, it's a pity that it's disgusting

11. Jealousy is a knife, either stabbed into others or into yourself

12. Love usually means abandoning fools and getting liars

13. I like you, but you like her, I am a big joke

14. Life is like an angry bird, there are always a few pigs around when you make a mistake Laugh

15. Why did your cell phone run out of battery so quickly? Tell me who you discharged it to

16. Someone who swears doesn’t necessarily mean he is not a good person. Some people are full of bad intentions and pretend to be gentlemen.

17. When you look back and smile, everything goes crazy; when you stand cool, the stench fills the air

18. Your IQ is in arrears, please recharge before talking to me< /p>

19. What is the use of a handsome man? Can it be used as a credit card when placed in a bank?

20. What is the use of a good person? Can it be used as food on the table?

21. What is love, just cheat; what is tenderness, just cheap