Degang Guo Yu Qian's Classic Quotations (2)

Classic Quotations of Degang Guo Yu Qian

Guo: I took my card and went to the bank. What's the use of keeping money ! I took out all these two thousand dollars, squandered them, traveled around the world and bought yachts.

Y: ok, ok, ok. Two thousand dollars to travel around the world? ! Come back as soon as you get to Daxing.

24. Degang Guo Yu Qian cross talk classic paragraph

Guo: I bought this puppy. The more I look at it, the more I like it. I want to beautify it to the extreme.

Y: how to beautify this?

Guo: Find a beauty salon and pull double eyelids. It's finished. Let me see. How to make double eyelids up and down?

Y: up and down?

Guo: the beauty salon said, sir, we will give you a big reward when we open.

Y: I haven't heard of it. Is it for surgery, too?

Guo: I said, why don't you beautify the dog? Can you have a perm? What kind of perm? Have you seen Angela Yu Chien's head?

Y: Hey, why did you mention me?

Guo:? Okay, okay, okay. ? Just burn him.

Y: what?

Guo:? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay? Look out after ironing. Why is there no hair?

Y: Have you changed your hairstyle?

25. "You want elegance"

Guo: Everyone knows peace from The Analects of Confucius.

Y: wait a minute. There is Degang Guo in The Analects?

Guo: The Analects of Confucius, the book of Confucius. The Analects of Confucius? There is a saying in Gongye Chang: I have never seen anyone who is just.

What do you mean?

Guo: Confucius said, unfortunately, I haven't seen it.

Y: So you are ahead of Confucius?

26. "Do you want to be a good person? ) people "

(None of them are my favorite jokes. Teacher Yu is responsible for hitting the face, so it's wonderful. )

Guo: You don't even know me? I have a nickname "Applause".

Y: Is this your name? Still working?

Guo: What do you mean?

What do you mean?

Guo: Huh? Me? Good people. (Holding a knife in the air with your hand)

Yu:. . I guessed right!

Guo: Yes, I have a kind heart.

Y: Did you just cut it? ! New.

Guo: I have a kind heart. Alas, why don't I understand? No, I can't.

Y: it's not impossible. Who will treat people if there is a way?

Guo: I can't talk to a crosstalk speaker like you. I am a kind person and want to do good deeds.

27. Degang Guo Yu Qian cross talk classic paragraph

Guo: So, I want to do a good deed, I must do a good deed (sharpening my knife in the air), and I must do this good deed thoroughly!

Y: Hehe, it's also called a good thing, at least it makes you stop thinking about it.

Guo: I feel uncomfortable.

Y: that's right. Anyone who has experienced this is blocked in his heart.

28. Degang Guo Yu Qian cross talk classic paragraph

Guo: Just my mansion, with a courtyard wall of 20 miles.

Y: it's only 20 kilometers on one side of the courtyard wall?

Guo: One wall is 20 kilometers, and four walls are 2444 yuan! #@%! @ Wow! Boss!

Y: I can't count it.

(Partially omitted)

Guo: It's a big house. There is no other building in the yard. There is my bedroom in the middle. 15 square meter!

Y: Wait a minute, stop, stop. There is one wall, four walls, a big yard, and a 15 square meter bedroom in the middle, 20 kilometers. There are no other buildings. Where do you show people the grave? !

29. Degang Guo Yu Qian cross talk classic paragraph

Guo: When I got up in the morning, sixty servants waited on me, washed my face and gargled, and sat here to make friends. It's colorful!

Y: This man lived thirty years ago.

(Partially omitted)

Guo: Just now, breakfast came. It can't be the same as yours. What bean sauce fritters are imported? Guess which one will deliver it to me? Sell hips!

Y: Why do you sell crotch? It's just McDonald's

K: Come on, deliver the goods. What do you eat, spicy chicken and spicy fish? Look at this, Maixiang camel!

Y: camel? !

Guo: Camels, as a whole, do not change knives. Whole piece, upper and lower pieces of bread.

Can you still find this bread?

K: Sprinkle the sauce all over a bucket.

Y: It costs a lot of money.

Guo: Hey! Twenty hands up, I'll stand and chew!

Y: wow! semiautomatic

Guo: I'm covered in sauce. Wash your hair! Wash your face! Face your friends! Colorful!

Y: It was all on camels just now.

30. "You want to sing"

Guo: I mainly study foreign music, and I also like many foreign musicians. For example, there is a Michael? Jackson.

Y: Jackson, do you study too?

Guo: Really?

Y: What is right?

Guo: What's this man's name?

Y: You have finished. You don't know, do you?

Guo: I think so. would you please say that again.

Y: Michael? Jackson.

Guo: As different as you?

Y: right.

Guo: Sometimes I'm right.

Y: Well, I've never been right.

Guo: Michael? Jackson is really great. He dances well and sings well. Many viewers say that he is my God. Put on your hat, white socks and black shoes. He is not afraid to wear white socks and black shoes in the sun.

Y: handsome.

Guo: When people come out, they wear white hats and black shoes. This hand covers the hat. Where did it go?

Y: If you want to gesture, just cover your face.

3 1. "You want to cheat"

Guo: Then let me give you an idea. I said, brother, dare?

Y: why?

Guo: I ran to the station, slammed the train and tied the other end to the locomotive. As soon as he starts, you turn around and get off.

Yu: Bad treatment.

Guo: Go ahead, I can't help it. The wire is tied and the head is tied to the motorcycle. Well, the train has already left. When I turn around here, Mao!

Y: Did you lose your tooth?

Guo: All three carriages were derailed. Later, this tooth actually came down.

Y: hey? How did you get down?

Guo: The train driver took a taxi.

Y: Well, I cheated on the train driver.

32. "Pursuing happiness"

Guo: Have some coffee and some coriander.

Y: What goes with this?

Guo: Please give me an English newspaper.

Y: return the English newspaper. Can you understand?

Guo: (shouting) Can you understand it if you understand it? ! You will die. Can you understand me and watch it? !

What happened when you caught Richard?

Guo: If you can understand it, why read it? Look at the English newspaper.

Y: You look blank.

Guo: It's almost noon.

Y: that's right. You don't even have to turn a page.

33. Miscellaneous Learning to Sing

Guo: There are also Zhang Pai and Zhang, and Wu Dagu.

Y: right.

Guo: This old gentleman has his own characteristics, but he was later lost. Why? He sings jokes about the golden knife and the iron horse, but he often drums when he is angry on stage? Huh? It's all ruined. Throw the board on the ground, stamp your feet and scold the street for leaving.

Y: wow! This is an exit. this is ...

34. Learn radio

(classic opening)

K: Thank you, thank you. Come on, come on, always spend money, which makes me particularly embarrassed.

Y: (sneers) Really?

35. Degang Guo Yu Qian cross talk classic paragraph

Guo: Please enjoy our advertising program. Dear listeners, please answer a question. What is the most painful thing in the world?

Y: Well, don't answer that question.

Guo: So what is the most painful thing in the world? It is the most painful thing for children to have no milk to eat. Please choose what we recommend for you? Big hands? Prolactin.

Y: Here's an idea.

Guo: Listen less. Use? Big hands? Brand prolactin, milk is like the running water of the Yangtze River, and children can have the best of both worlds by taking a bath.

Y: The main reason is that I am full of energy.

36. Degang Guo Yu Qian cross talk classic paragraph

Guo: Ladies and gentlemen, next is our Quyi appreciation program. In today's program, we will introduce Tangshan Laoting Drum to you. First, please enjoy a recording of an old artist's speech. (The other way around, not Tangshan dialect)? Ladies and gentlemen, hello, I'm from Laoting County, Tangshan. ?

Y: This is the taste of Tangshan.

Guo:? I have never passed Laoting County since I was born. ?

Y: you haven't been there!

37. Degang Guo Yu Qian cross talk classic paragraph

Guo: Sister Wang, I got pregnant unexpectedly again.

Y: Oh, too soon, guys.

Guo: What should I do? I told you three times. Big iron bar hospital, surgery today, work tomorrow.

Y: remember to eat or not.

38. Sheep in the Tree

Guo: We also have our own division of scientists.

Y: Is this also a distinction?

Guo: By the way, students of astronomy are not allowed to study geography. You used to study astronomical phenomena, and suddenly you study geography. You don't study your stars and moons well, and you are obsessed with geography all day. Get up early every morning. I went to Changping County, Shahe, Qinghe, Huailai County, Kangzhuangzi, Qinglong Bridge and Nankou.

Y: You are a scientist. Why do you have to recite this?

Guo: People who study geography don't do it.

Y: that's right. Crosstalk actors haven't done it yet!

39. Degang Guo Yu Qian cross talk classic paragraph

Guo: What are you thinking? You are beautiful and will be a son all your life? I went out to earn money, you ate at home, and you were copied. Just for a second! It may take three or five minutes to learn. When I found out, I turned my head and left to make your money. Since then, they have never contacted each other again.

Y: really?

Guo: You are willing to shout when you see me. Don't be picky if you don't shout. For example, if you walk into the street, you come and I come. When you see me, shout, Dad, why are you going?

Y: I'm going to take a bath.

40. "Wan Shou Tu"

Guo: You know amber like the back of your hand. Amber is transparent and opaque, and the price is ten thousand yuan. Some of them have made a mistake.

Y: that's a good thing.

Guo: Just install a bug. We all know that. At first, pine trees were still trees. It secretes oil and drops it on worms. After millions of years, finally formed such an amber, and a bug. There are giraffes in amber!

Y: Silly deer, this is! Such a big pine nut didn't run away!

4 1. Me and my little friends

Guo: The neighbor across the hall is a master of Weiqi. Ask the master to play chess and burn incense first.

Y: Still burning incense.

Guo: When making tea, the background music must be the guzheng.

Y: pay more attention.

Guo: Qian Er sits here, and the master sits opposite. The two of them are meditating and listening to the music of guzheng. ? Hey ~?

Y: that's the sound.

Guo:? Hey ~? ,? Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock? (Journey to the West Episode)

Y: What do we do when we sit in the pigsty and play chess?

42. Yellow Crane Tower

(The editor-in-chief thinks it is the most classic leg skill of Lao Guo, and there is no one. )

Guo: What are you doing here?

Y: I'm looking for Liu Bei.

Guo: Liu Bei? Didn't Liu Bei go to learn from the Tang Priest?

Y: that's all right. You can also watch Journey to the West. Liu Bei, Liu Xuande, what are you doing with Tang Priest?

Guo: What status?

Y: alas, your majesty!

Guo: Huang? Huang Shang?

Y: Sir.

Guo: Leave a yellow book? You sold all the good books? You left all the yellow books behind? Do you have a plate?

Y: Besides, if I don't catch you, you will be caught soon.

Guo: I didn't leave any pornographic books and periodicals.

Y: You didn't leave any pornographic books. Remember to buy pornographic books!

Guo: Why, who should I keep?

Y: Would you like to keep this one if you like?

Guo: It hurts me to death. What a mess. (Wipe the sweat with a handkerchief)

Y: You have another one to wipe the sweat. I don't have it here, you know? ?

43. Degang Guo Yu Qian's classic crosstalk.

Y: Did Zhang Fei play a small gong?

Guo: No, it's seven inches.

Y: A license plate?

Guo: We all have seven-inch disks there. What do you mean?

Y: Zhang Fei, come out quickly

Guo: What fast man?

Y: Yes, yes, yes, yes ~ ~ This unhappy guy!

Guo: Oh, yes, yes, yes ~ ~ (gesture of stuffing)

Y: I'm dying. I sing with him. I'm hungry!

44. study hard

Guo: Those two men were with Hou Zhen just now. This is Hou Zhen in the table, the eldest son and grandson of crosstalk master Hou Linbao. This is my brother Zheng Hao, a famous crosstalk artist in Northeast China, Mr. Wang Zhitao. You know it's a stage name from its name. The real name is Ding, and the same, steady Ding.

Yu: A developing name.

Guo: There is no son at home, and his father is happy to have a fat boy. This happy event at home is settled. But this name often brings inconvenience in life.

Y: What's the inconvenience?

Guo: My wife sometimes goes home, not at home, but her husband and father are at home. ? Father, I am very happy.

Y: Oh, that's outrageous.

Guo: The old man heard it and pretended not to hear it.

Y: I can't reply to messages.

Guo:? Old man? Where is Zheng Xiding?

Y: Let the daughter-in-law have a look at this.

45. Degang Guo Yu Qian cross talk classic paragraph

Guo: Don't worry. Before the end of the performance tonight, I must ask Mr. Yu to sing two paragraphs. He sings so slowly and enthusiastically that he can't stop himself from coming up. Sometimes backstage, after the performance, it's time to put things there. Is he happy? Where chrysanthemums bloom ~ ~?

Y: huh? Where chrysanthemums bloom? Is there my lovely hometown? I live in underwear. This is ...

46. "Uncover the tiles"

Guo: The old man has a nephew who is a wise man. ? Sit down, sit down, sit down, I'm not talking about you, the goods on the ground don't provoke you to provoke the sky, whoever you provoke is not good, you provoke Degang Guo. People, people say cross talk. Sometimes he is here, sometimes he is here. ?

Y: Ah, yes, sometimes I'm alone. What's the use?

Guo:? Yes, Degang Guo doesn't work. Give him the famous Yu Qianer, will you?

Y: Why did you mention me?

Guo:? Yes, Angela Yu Chien is nothing. Yu Qianer has a brother. ?

Y: who is it?

Guo:? Take a bath in the bathhouse! Can you afford this?

Y: Hey, it's all useless.

Guo:? It is said that the army was used, and he, Pan and?

Y: Oh, none of these apprentices weigh 90 Jin.

47. "Life is better than Nanshan"

Guo: That was the Jingyun Drum. The actor sings very well.

Y: Do you really like it?

Guo: I don't praise her. Who do I praise? That was my wife. How nice it is to sing.

Y: It's really good.

Guo: I haven't sung for several years. Why? I haven't been able to look after myself all these years. I stared at the back and she stared at the front.

Y: Who's watching the back and who's watching the front?

Guo: I watched the backstage performance and she watched the front desk selling tickets. Tell me, you should talk about crosstalk. Never mind the specific things, just talk about the sound. She had a long dream.

Y: What a mess. Here it is. Are you really throwing caution to the wind? Never been so generous to us (to the audience).

48. bodyguards

Guo: Take this brother (Angela Yu Chien) for example. We will give you a performance. This is also a little brother.

Y: no, wait a minute. You haven't asked your age. I-I-I'm older than you.

Guo: What size do you wear?

Y: shoes? I am getting old!

Guo: How old are you? How big is it? @￥! # How big is it?

Y: what? You can speak human words, can't you? Just ask me how old I am. Thirty-seven How old are you?

K: Thirty-two.

Y: Pick up your mouth and say, Is this a brother?

Guo: This little brother deserves everyone's praise.

Y: Hey, wait a minute. You are a brother and I am a brother.

Guo: Stop it.

Y: What's wrong?

Guo: I can't count. He is as big as a pine nut. Open the lid of the brain and cook it in a bowl.

Y: Don't be too busy hurting others. I'll tell you. You are a brother, so am I. As you said just now, you are 32 and I am 37, first me, then you. What's wrong with this? !

Guo: Shall we count?

Y: What else is there?

Guo: Count it. How old are you? Thirty-seven, right? Count, I'm 32. Thirty, three, three, two, with me, without you. Three, three, four, three, five, three, six, three, seven, you. My brother.

Y: Oh, according to you, you are the first?

Guo: Hey!

What about your father?

49. My Life

(Two girlfriends about strabismus? Prejudice? Tucao)

Guo: Since I had her, my safety factor in crossing the road has greatly increased. Can she tell me if there is a bus coming over there?

Y: Who cares about this here?

Guo: Look for yourself!

Y: You two are called performance art now. ..

50. Degang Guo Yu Qian cross talk classic paragraph

Guo: After three days and nights, I got off at an unknown place.

Yes, if you go with her, you can get to know her.