I've seen a survey about idolize, a teenager.

The survey shows that idolatry is widespread among teenagers, among which 5% people admit that they have particularly liked and worshipped a "star" and 34.5% people admit that they are worshipping a "star".

It can be seen that idolize is a common phenomenon in the process of children's growth.

There are indeed many parents around who have a headache because of their child idolize. Some are afraid that their child idolize will spend money indiscriminately, some are afraid that idolize will affect their children's study, and some even worry that their children will go the wrong way because of idolize.

Therefore, parents who find their child idolize as an enemy would rather play the role of the villain and block their child's road to idolize.

it is understandable that parents love their children and care for their growth wholeheartedly. However, it is human nature to advocate beautiful things, and it is harmful to them to suppress them blindly.

1

It's easier for children without company to idolize

Sometimes children idolize don't really like stars. When children lack love and care from their parents, it is easy for them to hold a group to keep warm through idolize.

I helped Juanjuan with her homework for two years and only met her mother once. Juanjuan's parents are very busy, and they never take the initiative to ask me about their children.

Only once, Juanjuan's mother called me on her own initiative:

"Teacher, I found that my child is in idolize recently. I have scolded her and confiscated all her pocket money. I will be on a business trip next week. Please help me supervise her and let her study hard."

I wanted to know more, but the phone was hung up over there.

Juanjuan became less talkative in those days. I tried to ask her why she was in idolize.

She told me in tears:

"I saw several girls in my class, idolize, and I chased them. I finally got friends in my class. Now my mother complained to the class teacher that all my friends hate me. I hate my mother!"

Idols are sometimes like a bond, connecting countless individuals.

For lonely children, idols are more like flames. They sit around and feel the warmth brought by idols and the sense of belonging given by friends.

There is a famous educational saying: relationship comes first, then education. Without relationship, there is no education.

Many parents, who are short of accompanying their children, suddenly play the role of parents and criticize their children after learning about their children's idolize, but they don't know that children will not listen to their parents, but will hate their parents for depriving them of their favorite rights.

2

idolize, a child, seeks self-identity.

Once in a variety show, a 16-year-old girl stood on the stage and proudly told her idolize experience:

"idolize is my life, and my attitude towards idolize is serious. I will go to the cinema to brush Yang Yang's movies for more than twenty times, and I will go to all the activities, and it is even more common to pick up the plane. I'll pick him up when he comes, and I'll see him off when he leaves, just to pass by his world ... "

Faced with such a fanatical star-chasing girl, both the audience and the host Sa Beining felt a little overwhelmed.

Later, in the interview, the girl idolize's true attitude was gradually revealed.

The girl said that idolize is a thing that makes her very happy, and the process of giving has also made her gain a lot.

Sa Beining asked her, "What is your greatest satisfaction from idolize?"

The girl said it was time to be answered.

Yes, in fact, the girl idolize is not only for a certain star, but also because she can see herself differently during her stay in idolize.

Sa Beining finally concluded:

idolize is actually chasing himself. You are actually designing an ideal life state for yourself. What kind of person do you want to be? In fact, you are chasing your own shadow.

This sentence speaks to the hearts of all teenagers in idolize.

Maslow, a famous psychologist, once said:

Adolescence is a kind of conscious expression of yearning for independence, and it is their psychological state of longing for social recognition and appreciation.

As children grow up, they need to know themselves better. Learning and imitating idols is a way for them to shape themselves.

Idol is a realistic projection of the perfect self in a child's mind. Blindly denying your child's idol is actually hitting your child.

He will either become subservient to Nuo Nuo because he doesn't dare to resist, or he will become rebellious and even go to extremes because of his parents' blows.

3

idolize, what should parents do?

idolize is a long-term tug-of-war to test children and parents. Parents should learn to guide them properly, and idolize can also be a way to motivate children to make progress.

1

Give children more love and companionship

Jason Wu's wife Iola once shared her experience of accompanying children.

"No matter how late I went to bed the day before, I must get up at 6: 3 in the morning. In an hour until 7: 3, you will see a woman with hair like a chicken nest around her son at home and ask him what happened in kindergarten and what he wants to eat. "

In addition, Iola has a little trick to make his son feel the existence of his mother.

"I will record bedtime picture book stories for my children in advance, and now I have recorded more than 6 stories. When I'm not at home, I'll ask my mother to play him the story I told while sleeping, so that my voice will always accompany him. "

companionship is always about sincerity, not time.

Gilbert, a Harvard psychologist, said, "Ten years later, you won't regret missing a project, but you will regret not spending an extra hour with your children."

Spend more time with your child, discover the joy of life with him, distract your child's attention, and let your child feel the love and warmth of the family around you, then you can prevent your child from placing too much affection on the stars.

2

Help children turn idols into role models

Chen Shuying, a senior one girl in a key high school in Shenzhen, has been fond of Jackson Yee since the fifth grade.

In p>214, TFBOYS was a guest in Everyday Progress. When the host asked them what university they were going to enter, Jackson Yee casually said, "I want to go to Peking University".

It's his ignorant words that have always inspired Chen Shuying to study hard.

Later, Jackson Yee was admitted to the Central Academy of Drama, but Chen Shuying always remembered Jackson Yee's words at that time. She said, "Qian Xi, I will help you realize your dream".

Chen Shuying is idolize, but she is very rational. She thinks that idols will give her motivation to learn. The primary task of the student party is to study hard. Only by studying hard can we have a chance to meet idols and let them see themselves better.

Children worship an idol because they often see a bright spot in the idol. At this time, children can be guided correctly.

Giving play to the role of idols as role models, making idols a driving force for children to learn, and making children grow up to be better themselves in the process of idolize, is a smarter way of education.

3

Establish a correct view of right and wrong for children

Of course, idols make mistakes, and parents often feel at a loss when they see their children feel sad because of the collapse of idols.

Some time ago, the news of Roy smoking broke out, but my friend solved the problem well.

Children are moping all day, but friends naturally take this as an opportunity to educate their children.

She told her son, "Every one of us makes mistakes. Brother Roy made mistakes, but he also admitted his mistakes. Now your brother Roy is not only a sunny young man, but also a man who dares to take mistakes.

if you really like him, you should give him a chance to grow up with him and try not to make such mistakes in the future. "

There are no perfect people in the world, and so are idols. Parents should help their children to establish a correct view of right and wrong, and don't let him lose himself in the process of idolize.

At the same time, when a child's idol makes a mistake, don't be too alarmed. This is actually a good opportunity for children to learn to distinguish right from wrong and learn to tolerate.

Montessori, an education expert, said: It is the most important principle in our education method to respect all reasonable activities that children are doing and try to understand them.

Every child has a beautiful dream in his heart, which is natural and doomed.

To love a child, we must understand what he loves in his heart and let him feel his feelings, appreciate, like and even worship.

parents' understanding will make him feel warm; Parents' guidance will help him find his way.

Don't stifle a child's dream, help him find the fulcrum of his own life and let him move towards the track in his heart. This is the best tolerance that parents can give their children.