Under the shade of the trees in the hospital, a pair of lovers were hugging and kissing. A doctor saw this and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. To perform artificial respiration, you should lay her flat on the ground. Go away and let me do it."

< p>One night, a naked man hailed a taxi. The female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You him

My mother has never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I wonder where the hell you got the money from?

Who is the most miserable person in the world? Answer: Artillery company cooking squad soldiers! Question: Why? Answer: Cuckold back

Take the blame to watch others have sex.

A pair of fly mother and son were having a meal. The son frowned and asked his mother: "Mom, why do we eat poop every day?" The mother said: "Don't say it while eating. If it’s so disgusting, eat it while it’s hot!”

Dongbagou is very poor: clothing is basically dependent on spinning; eating is basically dependent on the party; getting rich is basically relying on robbing; marrying a wife is basically dependent on thinking. West

Bagou is even poorer: Communication basically relies on roaring; transportation basically relies on walking; public security basically relies on dogs; sex life basically relies on hands.

Employee: Boss, I would like to take a day off today

Boss: Do you want to take a day off

Employee: Yes

Boss: You What more can you ask of a company? There are 365 days and 52 weeks in a year. You already have 2 days off every week, ***104 days, and you still have 261 days of work left, right?

Employee: Yes

Boss: You are not working for 16 hours a day, remove it 174 days, there are 87 days left, right?

Employee: Yeah

Boss: You spend at least 30 minutes online every day, which adds up to 23 days a year, and there are 64 days left, right?

Employee: .........

Boss: 64 days left; you spend 1 hour at lunch every day, and another 46 days are used up, and there are 18 days, right?

Employee:

Boss: Usually you take 2 days of sick leave every year, so your working hours are only 16 days

Employee: Speechless

p>

Boss: The company does not work during 5 holidays every year, and you only work for 11 days

Employee: ………………

Boss: Every year, the company generously I’ll give you 10 days of leave, and you’ll only have to work for 1 day

Employee:

Boss: And you actually want to take this day off

Employee: Me Wrong haha! Those who have seen it, please be sure to turn it away and make your friends laugh too.

A Chinese teacher read an ancient poem by Lu You titled "Wo Chun" to the students and asked the students to dictate it. The Chinese teacher read it as follows, and one student dictated it as follows,

"Wo Chun" ("I'm Stupid")

Dark Plum Blossoms and Flowers (I am uneducated), Wo Zhi sad and sad (I have a very low IQ), Yuan Wen Wo Si Shui (Ask me) Who is it), Yi Tuoda is spring green (a big stupid donkey), the bank is green (I am a donkey), the bank is green (I am a donkey), the bank is green (I am a stupid donkey)!

A doctor at a mental hospital is going to talk to a mental patient who is about to be discharged from the hospital to confirm whether the patient has fully recovered

.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you are discharged from hospital?

Patient: Use rocks to smash all the window glass in your hospital.

After hearing this, the doctor found that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue treatment. A few more months passed. Later, the doctor felt that the patient seemed ready to be discharged from the hospital, so he decided to talk to him again.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you are discharged from the hospital?

Patient: Find a job.

Doctor: What next?

Patient: Make money.

Doctor: What next?

Patient: Save money.

Doctor: What next?

Patient: Marry a wife.

Doctor: What next?

Patient: The bridal chamber.

Doctor: What next?

Patient: Take off her clothes.

Doctor: What next?

Patient: Take off her pants.

Doctor: What next?

Patient: Take off her underwear.

Doctor: What next?

Patient: Take out the rubber bands from your underwear, make a slingshot, and find some rocks to smash all the window glass in your hospital.

When the human body was first formed, everything All the organs want to be the leader.

The brain says: I should be the leader, because I am in charge of various neurological reactions and functions throughout the body.

The feet said: We should be the leaders. We carry our bodies and brains to the ends of the earth.

The hand said: We should be the leaders because we do all the work to make money. The debate continues.

The heart, lungs, eyes and other organs all spoke up and asked to be the leader.

Finally, Butthole stood up and expressed that he also wanted to be the leader.

Everyone laughed at his request, how could Butthole be the leader?

So Butthole started to go on strike.

He refused to work and walled himself off.

Soon, every organ in the body felt the dangers of the butthole strike. The eyes began to feel dizzy, the hands and feet began to tremble, the brain began to heat up, and the heart and lungs could not function normally.

Eventually, everyone reconvened and agreed that Butthole should be the leader. So, everything returned to normal.

While the various organs are busy working, their leader just sits there and sprays feces outwards from time to time.

This story tells us that those who are leaders are not necessarily brains, most leaders are just buttholes...

The Devil and the Princess

One day the devil kidnapped the princess, and the princess kept screaming.

The devil: "You can break your throat by screaming... No one will come to save you..."

Princess : "Broken throat...broken throat..."

Nobody: "Princess...I'm here to save you..."

Devil King: "Say Cao Cao and Cao Cao will be here. .."

Cao Cao: "Devil...what did you call me for..."

Devil: "Wow...I saw a ghost"

Ghost : "Damn! I've been discovered..."

Damn: "Ghost, you can see me..."

Devil: "oh, my god!" < /p>

God: "Who called me?"

Who: "No one calls you..."

No one: "How can I? I'm just pretending. !"

Garlic: "Who is pretending to be me?"

Who: "Me again? Are you looking for trouble?"

Trouble: "Which one Looking for me?"

Which one: "Looking for you? I didn't... Hey, there are so many people here."

Many people: "I just arrived...you Who is it?"

Which one: "I am not who."

Who: "He is not me."

Princess: "Everyone is. Are you here to save me?"

Everyone: "I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the excitement."

Excitement: "What do I have to see?" < /p>

God: "It's none of my business, let's go first."

Devil: "You answer one question before leaving. Why are so many people saving the princess? I'm a demon

p>

How can I continue to play the role of the king?"

Go on: "If you don't want to be a good devil, why do you want to play me?"

Princess: "If no one plays the role of the devil, I can leave."

No one: "If I were playing the devil, how could I let you go..."

How could it be: "I won't let the princess go, I want to watch the excitement."

Excitement: "Watch me do what?"

What: "You actually want to "fuck" me? Rogue!"

You actually said: "How can I?"

Me: "What does it have to do with me?"

The Demon King: "Damn! I'm going crazy..."

Fuck: "What are you calling me for!..."

Crazy: "What do you want me to do?"

You want me: "What do you want me to do?" I don’t even know!”

I don’t know anything: “I didn’t know!”

I didn’t know: “I’m here! Is someone calling me?” < /p>

Someone: "I didn't call you!"

I didn't: "Who called him?"

Someone: "I'm wronged...I No..."

I didn't: "I didn't accuse you wrongly..."

You: "I'm sorry you don't dare either.

”

Forgive you: “Who said I dare not!?”

Who: “Please...I didn’t say anything”

Me Nothing: "What do you want me to say?"

I have nothing: "...you...aren't you my long-lost brother?"

My long-lost brother: "Kao... Even if my name is so long... I will be called too

ah..."

Who: ". ..I want to leave this place of right and wrong as soon as possible."

Right and wrong: "So this is my territory..."

I don't have anything: "Don't argue. We are talking..."

Don't bother us: "I am not talking..."

I am not: "I am not talking!... ”

I don’t have anything: “-_-\\\”...Let’s go outside and talk...”

Go: “I’m sorry. La...(twisting)"

I have nothing: "None of your business...flash..." (The two brothers walked out angrily)

It's none of your business: "Oh...why did you drive me away..."

Why: "I didn't drive you away...be good...don't cry"

< p>I didn't: "Oh...it's none of my business again"

It's none of my business: "What? Did someone call me?"

Someone: "Who wants it?" I called you..."

Who: "I really have to leave...t.t"

Leave: "I'm really embarrassed...*v.v* "(\\\"Who\\\" collapsed)

None of your business: "...Aren't you my cousin?"

None of my business: "...Cousin...Long time no see..."

Long time: "I'm not here..."

Devil King: "Are you finished? ”

Endless: “He doesn’t have me”

You: “I don’t have him”

I: “Who said that?”

p>

Who: "What do you want me to do?"

You: "You actually want to fuck me?"

You: "I won't fuck him"

I said: "Who said I can't do it?"

Who said: "It's unfair! I didn't say..."

Said: "Why do you ask me to do it?"

p>

You two: "You two are so shameless!"

You two: "I want it! I want it!"

Face: "Who wants me?"

You two: "I want it! I want it!"

Face: "Who wants me?"

p>

Who: "I don't want it"

Devil King: "Hurry up, I'm going to chase you away"

Man: "Kick me out? Find k "

k: "Who is looking for me?"

Who: "aaaaaaa! Don't mention my name. If you mention me again, you'll kill him! "

Him: "Don't kill me"

Me: "Who wants to kill me?"

Who: "Finally let me catch one, kill him Yeah..."

One: "Don't catch me"

Me: "I've had enough. If anyone mentions my name again, I will never let you go. !"

Who: "Look at my Eighteen Dragon-Subduing Palms!"

Me: "Look at my Nine-Yin White Bone Claws!"

Subdued Dragon Eighteen Palms: "What's good about me?"

Nine Yin White Bone Claw: "What's good about me?"

What's good about me: "Brother, I finally found it You!”

What’s cool: “Brother, let’s go out and talk.”

Devil King: “Damn it...this is a marriage recognition meeting...”

p>

One day Cao Cao and Liu Bei drank and discussed heroes. The two had a few drinks, and Liu Bei suddenly farted loudly, which was very embarrassing. When he was in embarrassment, he heard Guan Yu say calmly behind him: "Don't be surprised, everyone, farts come from the rain (rain)!"

As soon as Guan Yu finished speaking, Zhao Yun on the side took a step forward and said: "Everyone, the farts come from the rain (rain)!" Don't be surprised, the fart came from the clouds!"

Just after Zhao Yun said that, Zhang Fei shouted: "The fart just came from the sky!"

Everyone! A burst of laughter. Liu Bei has also returned to normal.

Cao Cao did not laugh, he felt deeply about this matter. After sending Liu Bei and others away, Cao Cao said to his subordinates: "When Liu Bei's subordinates saw that their master had made a mistake, they all rushed to take responsibility and make up for it. They are really loyal. If it is your turn, we can do it. "

Everyone was angry and thought: "It's just bullshit, why is this so difficult!"

A few days later, Cao Cao invited Liu Bei to drink again. Sometimes he wanted to fart and see how his subordinates would react. After holding it in for a long time, I finally managed to force it out. Everyone had been waiting for a long time. When they heard the sound of "goo", General Xu Chu quickly shouted: "The fart is from Chu (pig)!"

The waiter Wang Lang followed up and said: "The fart is from Lang." "(Wolf) let it go!"

Cao Cao's eyes widened when he heard this. Others thought that Cao Cao thought he was slow and rushed to grab him. "It came out!"

"No!" Xu Huang retorted loudly, "The fart came from you!"

Xun You said, "The fart came from You (You)!" ”

Man Chong said: “The fart came from Chong (rushing)”

Jiang Ji said: “The fart came from Ji (squeezing)”

< p>Guo Tu said: "The fart came from Tu (vomiting)!"

Zhong Yao said: "The fart came from Yao (shaking)!"

Then... .

Niu Jin: "The fart is gold (gold)!"

Cao Hong: "The fart is red (red)!"

Zhang Nan: "The fart is from the south (blue)!" .........

Cao Cao was already blushing and was about to get angry.

Counselor Guo Jia shouted: "It's all wrong, it's all wrong! What everyone said is wrong!".... He is indeed my number one strategist. Cao Cao thought secretly.

Guo Jia then said: "The fart was made by Jia (pinch)!"

Liu Bei and the others were already staggering around laughing...

Cao Cao was so angry that he passed out

Every time his wife and husband quarreled, the wife would run to the toilet and stay there for a long time. This happened many times, and the husband would curiously ask his wife: "What are you doing in the toilet?" What?" It seems quite relieved? My wife said, "Brush the toilet!" "The husband asked: "Can brushing the toilet relieve qi?" The wife said: I don't know, anyway, I use your toothbrush every time."

One day Cao Cao visited Jiang Gan and held Jiang Gan's hands. He said enthusiastically: Damn, how is your mother? Jiang Gan fainted immediately, woke up after a while and grabbed Cao Cao's collar excitedly: "Fuck, how are your family?" Cao Cao then vomited blood and died

1. A woman went to buy breakfast with counterfeit money. The vendor was annoyed and said seriously: Sister, forget it if you give counterfeit money, at least it has a stamp. Your banknote is actually a painting!

2.- Even if you take a step back, it doesn’t matter if you draw it. You can draw a picture worth ten yuan or five yuan, right? Why don't you give me a picture worth seven yuan?

3.- Seven yuan, just seven yuan. I won’t go into details. At the very least, it has to be drawn in color. It was actually drawn with a pencil~! -Forget it, I can bear it~! Black and white is black and white!

4. You can’t draw with tissue paper either! The feel is too bad. -Even if it’s toilet paper, I’ll accept it!

5. You have to use scissors to cut the edges evenly. This one is torn by hand, the raw edges are too exaggerated. -Okay, I don’t want to talk about the rough edges

6. But you can also tear it into a rectangular shape! This triangle shape is so unreasonable!

One day, the teacher walked into the classroom, and the students stood up and shouted: "Good morning, teacher!"

The teacher said angrily: "Just good morning? What about me in the afternoon? Is that possible? Isn't it good?"

Then the students shouted again: "Good afternoon, teacher!"

The teacher said angrily: "What about me tonight?"

The students shouted together again: "Have a good evening, teacher!"

The teacher nodded and said, "That's enough, now shout it again!"

The students all shouted together Shouted: "Teacher, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening!"

The teacher said: "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. We practice like this. I say one thing, and you say the antonyms out loud. Now Start."

Teacher: "The weather is very good today.

”

Student: “The weather is very bad today. "

Teacher: "The sun is shining everywhere. ”

Student: “There are clouds everywhere. ”

Teacher: “There are huge crowds of people on the road. ”

Student: “There is no one on the road. ”

Teacher: “Young. ”

Student: “Old. ”

Teacher: “Stand. "

Student: "Lie down"

Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road. ”

Student: “There was a young man lying down on the road. "

Teacher: "I picked up one yuan. ”

Student: “I lost one dollar.” "

Teacher: "I picked up one yuan and gave it to the teacher. ”

Student: “I lost one yuan and went to steal the teacher.” ”

Teacher: “Wrong, you can’t say that!” ”

Student: “Correct, that’s how it should be said!” ”

Teacher: “Wrong. ”

Student: “Correct. ”

Teacher: “This is not okay, this is illegal!” ”

Student: “That’s okay, it’s legal!” "

Teacher: "I said it was wrong. ”

Student: “We said it is correct. "

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher says is correct! "

Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong! "

Teacher: "You are stupid. ”

Student: “We are smart. "

Teacher: "Stop! ”

Student: “Continue!” ”

Teacher: “Stop now!” Stop talking! ”

Student: “Let’s continue now! More to say! ”

Teacher: “You stupid pigs, I say stop!” ”

Student: “We are all geniuses, we say continue!” ”

Teacher: “You listen to the teacher!” ”

Student: “Teacher, listen to us! ”

Teacher: “Students must listen to the teacher!” ”

Student: “Teachers must listen to their students!” ”

Teacher: “Stop practicing now! ”

Student: “Now let’s continue practicing! "

Teacher: "Are you done? ”

Student: “We have a beginning and an end! ”

Teacher: “Then stop!” idiot! ”

Student: “Then we should continue!” genius! "

....Then the teacher walked out of the classroom angrily holding the book in his arms

. Once upon a time there was a man named A Shuang. -

He died . -

On the day of the funeral -

His family cried: '-

It's cool... it's cool'-

The passers-by asked: "What are you so happy about?" -

The family cried bitterly: "It's so good... it's so good!"-

-< /p>

2.-Xiao Xin: Dad, why are there three golds in my name? -

Dad: You are short of gold in your life, so you are named Xin, just like some people’s lives. People who lack water are named Miao, and some people who are short of wood are named Sen. -

Xiaoxin: Dad, what do you think Sister Guo Jingjing is missing in her life? -

< p>-

3.

A man and woman were sitting on a bench in the park having sex, and the woman suddenly wanted to fart -

To the man. He said: The cuckoo cuckoo sounds don’t sound right to you -

The man was happy to listen -

Then the woman was covered by the cuckoo cuckoo cries. Fart loudly -

Female: Doesn't it sound like a bird? -

Male: The fart was too loud -

-

4. One day an elephant was taking a bath.

Suddenly an ant came over and said to the elephant. You stand up. Stand up when it starts. Ant! Just sit down. The elephant asked the ant what he wanted to do. Sometimes he stands up and sometimes he sits down. Ant replied! I lost my underwear, let me see if you were wearing it -

5. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest, and the ants came out in large numbers and climbed onto the elephant one after another. The elephant shook himself and the ants fell down. At this time, there was another ant on the elephant's neck, and the fallen ant shouted "Strangle it to death". -

6. One day in computer class, a row of classmates’ computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer has crashed, and our row is all dead." At this time, many students said, "We are also dead." At this time, the teacher asked: "Who is not dead? "Only one student stood up: "I'm not dead yet!" The teacher said strangely: "The whole class is dead, why don't you die?" -

7. A monkey must first eat peanuts. Put it in your butt and take it out to eat. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it a peach, but the peach core couldn't be pulled out. The monkey was frightened. Now it must be measured before eating. -

-

8. Xiao Ming: "Dad, am I a stupid boy?" -

Dad: "Silly boy, how can you be stupid? Where is the child..."-

-

9. Tell a story: "Once upon a time there was a eunuch........."-

Someone couldn't help but ask: "What's down there?" -

Continue to tell the story: "Down there? It's gone..." -

10. There was a person who just learned a foreign language. Tian was walking on the street and accidentally stepped on a foreigner's foot. The man hurriedly said: "I'm sorry." The foreigner also said politely: "I'm sorry too." When the man heard this, he hurriedly said He said: "I'm sorry three." The foreigner was dumbfounded and asked: "What are you sorry for?" The man said helplessly: "I'm sorry five." -

11 .-

A letter written by Tang Monk to Sun Wukong-

-

Dear Wukong: -

I am writing this letter Very slowly, because I know you can't read quickly! -

We had rain twice this week, the first time it rained for 4 days and the second time it rained for 3 days! -

How are you doing in Huaguo Mountain? I have a very bad life in heaven. Since there is no gravity, my stool, urine, tears and nose can't fall. Do you think it's hard? -

The beef noodles we have here are delicious. When you come another day, we will go to the restaurant on West Street to eat hot pot together! -

Your eldest sister Guanyin is about to give birth. Because I don’t know whether it will be a boy or a girl, I don’t know if you will be an uncle or an aunt for the time being! -

Have you received the clothes I sent you? When I was going to send it, I was afraid of being overweight, so I cut off the buttons and put them in my pocket! -

It’s getting late so I’m writing this here. If you have time to come to my place to play, remember not to drink too much water, otherwise it will be very uncomfortable if you can’t pee when you get here! -

P. S I wanted to send you money, but the envelope was already stuck! -

-

12.-

· A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. I poop whatever I eat, including cucumber poop. Cucumber, watermelon and watermelon, how can we return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

-

-

13-

· Someone went to Shanghai on a business trip and lost a dollar on the street. The police said: "We will help you find it." The man went back a month later, and the street where he lost his money was dug up for road construction. He couldn't help but sigh, "Shanghai is real" -

14.-

Classic Joke: This Ant One day, an ant was basking in the sun. Suddenly he saw an elephant walking slowly. He stood up and straightened his front legs. The rabbit next to him asked what were you doing? The ant said: "Shh~~~~~~~ Keep your voice down and watch me kick him" -

-

15.-

The earthworm family is here It was a boring day, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton. The mother thought this was a good idea, so he cut himself into four pieces to play mahjong. The father thought about it and cut himself into meat. end. The mother earthworm cried and said: "Why are you so stupid? If you cut it into pieces like this, you will die!" The father earthworm said weakly: "...Suddenly I want to play football -

-

16.-

The tortoise and the hare are racing... The hare quickly ran to the front. The tortoise saw a snail crawling very slowly... and said to him: Come up, I will carry you. Well...then...the snail came up...after a while...the turtle saw an ant again...and said to him: Come up too...so the ant came up too. After the ant came up...look. The snail reached the top and said "Hello" to him. Do you know what the snail said? The snail said: Hold on tight, this turtle is so fast...-

-

17.-

One day, a fire broke out in the house, and both parents escaped. Only one son was left inside. The mother shouted nervously outside the house: "Son..." "What are you doing...It's on fire and you haven't come out yet..." The son replied: "I'm putting on socks..." The mother said again, "Why are you wearing socks if you're on fire?" ..." After five minutes, the son still hasn't come out... The mother shouted nervously again, "Son, what on earth are you doing?" Come out quickly~ It’s all on fire, but you’re still in there..." My son said, "I’m taking off my socks...-

-

18.-

A man went fishing by the river and first pierced a leaf. No fish took the bait for a long time, so he changed it to a piece of bread. No fish took the bait for a long time. He had no choice but to change it to earthworms. Still the same. No fish took the bait for a long time~~ He was so angry that he took out 100rmb and threw it into the water and cursed: "*—# What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself!!!-

-

19.-

> My deskmate had a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring a handkerchief, so he kept sucking the snot into his nose. The Chinese teacher who was writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted: " Enough! Stop it! It’s so noisy! "The whole class was quiet. The teacher said again: "Who is eating noodles secretly in class and making such a loud noise? "-

20.-

The patient said to the dentist: "You are really good at making money. You made 3 US dollars in only 3 seconds. "-

-

The doctor replied: "If you want, I can pull it out for you in slow motion.

"-

21.-

"Narcissism" means that I must be reincarnated as a woman in the next life, and then marry a man like me; "Despair" means ordering two meals at a restaurant When eating the first dish, he asked: "Is there anything more delicious than this in the world?!" When eating the second dish, "Damn! It really does exist!" "Speechless" is when the judge asked: Why did you print counterfeit money? The criminal said: Real money I don't know how to print -

-

22.-

The Weaver Girl went down to the earth to take a bath and met the Cowherd, and performed a shocking love story. This piece Things tell us: There is no chance to take a shower at home, so you must go outside to take a shower...-

-

23.-

After Xiao Ming went to the toilet, he returned to the classroom and said to the teacher: "There are a lot of ants in the toilet." The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ant, so he tested Xiao Ming: "How do you say ant?" Xiao Ming looked confused... and said: "Ant... Didn't say anything..."-

-

24.-

A man kept farting loudly at work, and his colleagues couldn't help but say: " Can you be silent?" Then I saw him sitting there shaking non-stop. My colleague asked him strangely what he was doing, and he replied: "I am silent, and now it has been set to vibrate!!!" -

-

25.-

Female mosquito: "My child, what's wrong with you?" The little mosquito cried and said: "Today, the little flies bullied me. They say I am bloodthirsty and a vampire." Female mosquito: "Don't pay attention to it, their family is not a good thing, they all grew up eating shit -

-

< p>26.-

I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou clay pot. Yesterday I went to the column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: "How can this be from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This was from last week Yes! -

-

27.-

Son: "Mom, I failed the math test today" Mother: "Why, what question." Son: "The teacher asked me 2*3=? I said =6." Mother: "That's right, what next." Son: "Then the teacher asked me 3*2=?" Mother: "This is not the same thing Yes!" Son: "That's what I said too...-

-

28.-

A prisoner was shot, and the bullet was "such and such County "produced, the quality was poor, the first shot was not fired, and then the second shot...the third shot...At this time the prisoner cried: "Strangle me to death, it's too scary!" -

-

29.-

The father told his son a story: "The uncle asked Xiaoyang to chop firewood. Unexpectedly, Xiaoyang took the uncle's favorite The peach tree was cut down, and the uncle was very angry when he saw it but didn't scold him. Do you know why?" The son replied: "Maybe it's because Xiaoyang still has an ax in his hand, so he didn't dare to scold him -

-

30.-

Dung Beetle and Mosquito fall in love and meet for the first time. Dung Beetle: "What do you do?" Mosquito: "Nurse, injector." The Dung Beetle pulled him away. The hand holding the mosquito cried bitterly: "It's fate, I am also a doctor, a traditional Chinese medicine, and a pill maker -

-

31.-

A man couldn't find a girlfriend, so he had no choice but to go to a fortune teller. The fortune teller said: You are destined to have no women in the first half of your life. But the man's eyes lit up: Then I should have one in the second half of my life? The fortune teller said: Oh, in the second half of my life You get used to living alone -

-

37.-

When someone was eating, he couldn't see a piece of beef in the beef ramen, so he pointed at it I asked the boss: Why is there no beef in beef ramen? The boss said lightly: Don't take it too seriously, do you still expect to get a wife out of the wife cake? -

-

38 .-

Three mice tasted American, Japanese and Chinese wine respectively. The mouse that drank American wine fell after walking for 3 steps; the mouse that drank Japanese wine fell after walking for 2 steps; The mouse in Erguotou, China, holding a kitchen knife in his hand, shouted: "Where's the TMD cat?" -

-

39.-

While eating in a restaurant, A customer who had been waiting for a long time called the waiter and asked, "Why is the braised fish I ordered not ready yet?" "Please wait a moment, sir." "What? You still have to wait?" the customer said angrily. To "Are your fish caught live?"-

-

>

40.-

One day, the cow posed a problem to the donkey, asking which of the two bugs under the word "Stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but still couldn't answer. The cow scolded: What a stupid donkey, men are on the left and women are on the right! -

-

41.-

A man was about to jump off a building. His wife who had just rushed back shouted: "My dear, don't be impulsive, our road is still there." He's growing up!" After hearing this, the man jumped down without hesitation. The negotiator standing next to him said: "Madam, you really shouldn't threaten him like this-

-

42.-

The director and the section chief *** took the elevator. The director farted and said to the section chief: "You farted." The section chief said: "I didn't fart." Soon the section chief The director was dismissed. The director said at the meeting: "You can't even take on big things, so what's the use of you?" -

43.-

A lazy cat went crazy. After pursuing a mouse, he finally got married. After the marriage, the cat protected the mouse in every possible way. The mouse quickly became fat. The mouse was very moved: "Why are you so kind to me, my dear!" The cat chuckled and said, "You will know when you get a little fatter. -

-

44.-

Every time I look in the mirror, I always encourage myself mentally: "I look very good." Being creative and ugly is not my original intention. God don’t lose your temper. I will live bravely and use my endless creativity to bring out the beauty of this world! In fact, I am really creative... -

-

45.-

Friends went hiking together. At the top of the mountain, a girl faced the beautiful mountains and rivers and shouted: Motherland! My mother! A secret love Her boy quickly followed and shouted: Motherland! My mother-in-law! -

-

46.-

I bought two puppies before, I'll give you the one called "face", and I'll give you the one called "butt"! Unfortunately, "face" died in a car accident a few days ago. After that, every time I see "butt", I think of your "face"! If your "face" is still there Now, it's as big as a "butt"! -

47.-

After Tang Zeng drove away Wukong, he encountered a monster again. He had to recite a tight curse to call Wukong back to save his life. Soon a voice came from the air: "I'm sorry. The user you called is not in the service area, please try again later. -

48.-

It is convenient for mice to go, but it is also convenient to see bears. Now, too frightened to say anything, the bear glanced at the mouse and said, "Can you shed your fur?" The mouse trembled and said nothing. The bear asked again: "Are you losing your fur, you?" The mouse said tremblingly: "No..." The bear grabbed the mouse and wiped its butt and left! [Using mice as toilet paper...-

49.-

I was chatting with my friends just now, and they talked about you, do you know? I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was too much! I don’t treat you like a pig at all! -

50.-

Panda’s birthday, let me tell you: I made two wishes, one is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to have a color photo -

51.-

The bee chases the butterfly, but the butterfly marries the snail. Bee was puzzled: How is he better than me? Butterfly replied: After all, I have my own house, but it’s not like you living in a dormitory -