Read critically! ! Not blindly following. )

Dale. Carnegie believes that the way to cultivate self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do and overcome your fears again and again to achieve your goals.

I didn't want to read it before because I read the catalogue and thought it was all clear. I thought I knew how to show it. But after careful reading, I found that I understand a lot of truth, but in reality you don't know what to say and how to do it. There are many cases, from which we can learn many specific statements, practices and treatment methods. And in fact, there are many things I didn't realize and didn't touch, which can be regarded as expanding my face; And the people, things and fields involved in the book are very wide, including company employees, managers, countries, sales, company cooperation, renting apartments and so on. I will meet many different people and deal with different fields in the future, which also opens my world and is of great help to communication when I meet different communication situations in the future.

Chapter 1 How to get along with others

Don't blame others

? John wanamaker, the father of the department store industry, said frankly that it is foolish to scold others.

? 99% of the time, no matter how obvious mistakes people make, they will not blame themselves.

? Criticism is futile, because it will make people feel resistant and try their best to defend themselves. Criticism is also dangerous, because it will hurt a person's self-esteem and cause the other person's disgust.

? How much we want to be recognized and how afraid we are of being condemned.

? The security manager of the construction company said that as long as the worker didn't wear a helmet, he would seriously ask the other party to wear it. Although the workers obeyed reluctantly, they would take off their hats as soon as they saw him leave. So he decided to change the way. Seeing that the worker didn't wear a hat again, he asked with concern whether it was inappropriate and uncomfortable to wear a hat on his head. He reminded the workers in a pleasant tone that the helmet can protect the head from injury, and it is better to wear it at work. Those workers finally put on their hats happily.

? Human nature: doing something wrong will only blame others, not reflect on yourself. All of us are like this. Criticism is like a homing pigeon, which will fly back to itself sooner or later. The condemned will also defend themselves and condemn us in turn.

? Lincoln finally didn't send a letter criticizing Meade. His experiences in his youth reminded him that sharp criticism and reprimand were always futile. The next time we can't help but want to teach others a lesson, please take out a $5 bill, look at Lincoln's head on it and ask yourself, "What would Lincoln do if he encountered these difficulties?"

? When getting along with people, we must remember that people are not absolutely rational animals, they are full of emotions, they may be born arrogant and conceited, and they are prone to prejudice against people.

? Praise everyone's merits. To be tolerant and considerate, we need self-discipline and restraint.

Really appreciate others.

? Schwab: My greatest skill is to constantly praise and encourage my employees, so as to arouse their enthusiasm and give full play to their potential.

? Appreciation is different from flattery, sincerity and hypocrisy; Generosity and egoism; Inner feelings and lip service.

? Mexican hero General O 'Brien famously said, "You are not afraid of powerful enemies, but you are afraid of flattering friends."

? When getting along with people, please don't forget that we are facing emotional animals eager for praise. Praise is the tenderness that every heart yearns for. Try to pave a road of friendship with the spark of gratitude in the journey of life. When you turn back to this road next time, you will be surprised to find that those sparks have turned into the flame of friendship and bloomed brilliantly.

? An old proverb: Time cannot be turned back. Therefore, if I can get any benefits for anyone, I should immediately implement it, don't shirk it, ignore it, because this moment will never come back.

? Let go of your own utilitarianism and desire, try to find the advantages of others, and then put aside your scruples and really appreciate them. In this way, they will keep your words in their hearts and think about them from time to time-even if you forget them yourself. ?

Think from someone else's point of view.

? When dealing with people, you should know how to do what you like. Discuss their needs and tell them how to meet them.

? Maybe tomorrow you will persuade others to do something. Before you speak, stop and ask yourself, "How can I make him do it willingly?"

? Good words about the art of interpersonal communication: if there is a secret of success, it is to understand others' ideas from their standpoint.

? Photo :https://uploader.shimo.im/f/ZD8hsUPJvWK4Iyvf.jpg! .

Photo :https://uploader.shimo.im/f/2CrHwJJUmLVS5h7q.jpg! .

Photo :https://uploader.shimo.im/f/0zbkQCYvBRTHSuee.jpg! .

? The world is full of greedy and selfish mediocrity, so those few people who are willing to give selflessly will make greater achievements. Words: "People who can put themselves in others' shoes and feel the needs of others never have to worry about the future. "Every party should benefit from the negotiations.

? The most fundamental need in human nature is to prove yourself. When we have a good idea, we don't have to express it as our own. The best way is to inspire others to come up with the same idea.

? If you want to convince others, the best way is to arouse their strong demand.

Chapter II How to Win the Love of Others

Really care about others

? As long as you really care about others, you will make more friends in two months than those who try their best to attract others' attention in two years.

? If we just rack our brains to make others remember us and take an interest in us, we will definitely not have any sincere and close friends. Friendship, especially true friendship, has never been established in this way.

? Alfred adler, a famous Viennese psychologist, once wrote: "Those who have no interest in their companions will always encounter many difficulties in life and will always do great harm to the people around them. These people are the root cause of the failure of all mankind. "

? In the novel, you should really care about others, so that the novel written can be successful.

? Magic performer Howard Suston, his every movement, every gesture, every tone change and even every expression change are carefully rehearsed in advance. He really cares about the needs of the audience.

? If you really want to make friends, try your best to do something for others, something that takes time, energy, selflessness and consideration. For example, remember their birthdays.

Smile, smile

"Smile" can also spread through sound.

There is an old saying in China that one should not open a shop without smiling face.

Remember each other's names.

An effective way to warm people's hearts in a company is to let managers remember the names of employees.

Good habits are formed by trivial sacrifices again and again.

For anyone, his name will always be the most beautiful and important voice in the world.

Understand the art of listening.

? Sometimes, people don't need other people's advice, talk to themselves, and their minds become clearer and clearer. He just needs a friend, a listener who can understand him and let him relieve the pressure on his shoulders for a while.

Talk about topics of mutual interest.

Talking about other people's interests is a win-win situation.

Make others feel important.

It is an eternal truth that everyone you have met thinks that he is better than you in some way.

Chapter 3 How to Make Others Believe in You

Avoid getting into an argument

There is only one way to win an argument, and that is to avoid it.

Debate, stop here.

Doing business, etc

Refutation may bring you victory, but this victory is meaningless, because the other party will not really recognize you.

From some people who like to argue, we can see the most common weakness of human nature-the desire to be valued. Once recognized and respected, they can calm down and become friendly and compassionate.

Sometimes, we should learn to be patient with some small things that affect our immediate interests. It is better to stand by and wait for the dog to pass than to argue with it. Because if you want to kill that dog, you can't be unscathed yourself.

Respect the opinions of others.

Teach people to be invisible, calling them ignorant and forgetful, and people can teach them.

When you try to understand others, you will find yourself benefiting a lot.

Usually, we know our mistakes. When others tell unpleasant facts and force us to accept them, we will feel disgusted and set up a line of defense in our hearts. However, when others make comments skillfully and modestly, we are willing to admit our mistakes and even take pride in our frankness.

"I judge a person by his principles, not by myself."

I find it easy to evaluate a person in this way. It is more sincere to tell his advantages and show his understanding.

Learn to admit mistakes.

It is something to be proud of to have the courage to admit your mistakes.

Only a fool can defend his mistake.

Communicate amicably

Let the other person say "yes"

When talking to people, don't rush to express your disagreement. Please keep emphasizing which views you agree with him. If possible, you should emphasize that your original intention and purpose are the same, and your difference is only in the way. Let the other person recognize you from the beginning and try to avoid letting the other person say "no". A talkative person can always make the other person nod and say "yes" at the beginning of a conversation, which makes the psychological activities of the interviewee develop in a positive direction during the conversation.

Listen to each other patiently and humbly.

Learn to put yourself in other's shoes.

Everyone's thoughts and actions are well-founded. As long as we find out the root cause, we can understand his behavior and even see his character clearly. Think from each other's standpoint.

The key to successfully dealing with interpersonal relationships is to resonate with other people's views.

Fully sympathize with others

Express your thoughts dramatically.

Sometimes proper performance can make the other person understand your thoughts better.

Incentive methods for launching challenges

"I don't think we can just use money to recruit excellent talents and keep them. I think they are interested in the game itself. "

The fourth chapter is how to change the friendliness of others.

Start a conversation with sincere appreciation.

Cleverly point out the mistakes of others.

Removing "but" or replacing it with "and" can make the other party more acceptable.

Always talk about your mistakes first.

Admitting your mistakes or even not correcting them will convince others that you have turned over a new leaf.

Never give orders directly.

In fact, this can't be completely said. If you are a high-ranking person, you still have to make some decisions. Sometimes it is not necessary to straighten out your heart and gather everyone's ideas.

Save face for others

Never be stingy with praise.

Affirm each other's value

Affirm the value of the other person first, so that he won't live up to your expectations.

Learn to encourage others.

Make others willing to listen to your advice.