My seventeen-year-old daughter has been depressed for three years. After dropping out of school, I failed to return to school, my studies were hopeless, and my future was worrying. Being able to lead a normal life is my goal.

The father, who believes that "Huang Jing is a good man" and hopes that his daughter will be a phoenix nirvana, bought a lot of test questions for his daughter and brushed them over and over again, making young children feel anxious and threatening to commit suicide.

In the past five years, the father insisted that his daughter must get excellent grades and be admitted to a key middle school, otherwise she would be beaten.

Children are naive and stupid, thinking that they will be killed and their lives will be in danger. I'm scared all day. Every time I take an exam, I want to run away from home or commit suicide. Later, it developed into test anxiety, and it was impossible to walk into the examination room for half a year.

Slowly, completely collapsed, surrendered, and left the key classes of key high schools. From then on, it is difficult to return to a normal life track.

Parents still have to force their children, do they want chickens?

Physical and mental health is the best education and the biggest future!

Children who are physically and mentally healthy, have stars in their eyes and mountains and seas in their hearts can live up to their dreams!

My sister and her husband's education of my nephew is a "forced" education, almost to the extreme. Now my nephew is 28 years old. What is his life track?

My nephew has been naughty since he was a child. His sister and his wife are ambitious and manage him in a fascist way. When the child was doing his homework from childhood, two people stared at him from left to right until high school. That atmosphere made me very depressed.

In order to cooperate with their children's study, they moved the TV back to their grandparents' home. Afraid that children are addicted to playing mobile phones, both of them use old computers. Fortunately, there was no class WeChat group at that time. Therefore, there are no cartoons in children's childhood and no mobile phones in their youth. As for the amusement park, it is an extravagant hope that children dare not think about.

Their home is full of inspirational celebrity quotes, English words and mathematical formulas, even the bathroom. The children's schedules are also completely arranged according to the timetable, and the thunder cannot move.

Sister and brother-in-law still believe that no child is afraid of being beaten. As long as the child regresses slightly in his studies, his brother-in-law's belt will be beaten. The worst time, in the summer, he hit the child, and the child went into hospital in shock.

After strict management, my nephew has been following their plan step by step, and his academic performance has been among the best. He went to a university on 2 1 1 and was admitted to the civil servant of our county tax bureau after graduation.

My sister and brother-in-law were so proud that they thought they had succeeded and began to arrange the nephew's marriage again. My nephew talked about his girlfriend, sister and brother-in-law in college, but he was not allowed to find a local civil servant. So my nephew, who had just worked for a year, was finally inspired to rebel in his bones. He resigned and went to Beijing to make a living without consulting anyone.

My sister and brother-in-law were almost overwhelmed with anger, but my nephew firmly said to them, "You have arranged my life for more than 20 years. Why can't I live for myself once? " I don't regret doing well in the future, as long as I'm not in front of you. I'm tired of being pointed at by you every day. "

Perhaps it has been suppressed by my sister and his wife for too long, and my nephew has poor communication skills. He worked in a private enterprise in Beijing for a while, then resigned due to interpersonal reasons, and now he has gone to Jinan, our provincial capital.

But no matter how long he goes out, he won't take the initiative to call his sister. He would rather communicate with me on WeChat than say a word to his parents.

He hated his parents in his heart, because his childhood was a learning machine, and his memory was full of his mother's satire and his father's beating. He would rather give up his stable job than run away from this suffocating home.

I feel that my sister and brother-in-law have gone to extremes. The child is ours, but he is also an independent individual. He has his own life, and he has his own wonderful things, instead of being arranged for life like a marionette.

Looking at my colleague's son, he was the first in his class when he was a child, and fell to the bottom in his high school class. My attitude towards my daughter's education has gradually changed!

Colleague and sister, with a bad temper, are strict with their children since childhood and are famous in our unit. But it was obvious to all that his children had good grades at that time.

Several women in the unit are about the same age, and the children are not much different. Her son is two years older. At that time, he was in primary school, and every exam was the first in his class. When he wins the second place, he will be punished by her.

After every school mid-term and final exam, everyone will ask each other about their children's grades. At that time, she was always the mother of "other people's children" in everyone's eyes!

In everyone's envious eyes, his children are not so top-notch in junior high school, but they are also in the upper middle class.

She is strict with her son, and most other children go out to play with their partners after finishing their homework. But her children can't. After finishing her homework, she will make up some exercises. Once a child fails to achieve his goal, he will either fight or scold.

Once after school, I saw other students talking and laughing. Her child is sliding on the wall to go home, looking timid and distressed.

A colleague who was chatting at work once said that her child was doing homework alone in the room at night. She pushed the door in, and the child was hiding something in a panic. A closer look shows that there are answers at the back of the original problem set, and children are secretly turning over the answers when they encounter problems.

When my colleague saw it, he was furious and picked up a thick dictionary and threw it at the child's head. The edge of the book hit the child, his head was smashed and blood ran down his face. Later, the child was rushed to the hospital and it took two stitches to stop.

The key is that my colleagues didn't feel ashamed when they told me! Instead, I think it is good that he is strict!

Fortunately, however, the child was successfully admitted to a local key high school. After living in high school, children may be depressed for many years and begin to release themselves completely.

No one forces me to study any more. From the first year of high school, I learned all the way, and I fell in love. Colleagues are both hard and soft, but to no avail. In the end, I didn't even pass the college entrance examination, but I was admitted to an ordinary college. It's a pity. Later, my job was transferred, and I haven't seen you for many years. I don't know what happened to my children.

@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫-What about the children who are forced by their parents now? From the example of my colleagues educating their children, I gradually changed my education for my daughter.

First, the principle is strict, but life is democratic. Principles are not discussed, such as returning early at night, doing homework first and then playing; When you meet other things, discuss the children as adults and let them have a sense of participation.

Second, play is a child's nature and cannot be controlled blindly. Playing is the nature of all children. When they are old enough to play, let them go out and play with their friends, even if there are contradictions between them. It not only exercises children's social skills, but also is a way to develop their intelligence.

Third, when I was a child, my grades were not so important. What was important was to form a good habit! As long as children's grades in kindergartens and primary schools can remain above average, it means that children are not stupid. When I was a child, I tried to help my children develop good study and living habits. After junior high school, parents will save much trouble!

The child is growing up. I hope all parents can learn and grow up with their children and become qualified good parents.

Let's start with my cousin. Now he has basically cut off contact with his parents. He really hates them and hopes that he is not their child. Now he is 30 years old and has a successful career, but he is afraid of the opposite sex. All this is thanks to his aunt.

My cousin is really an obedient child. His nickname is Pippi, which means he is honest. When he was a child, he was as strong as a calf, cute and lively, and he was the pet of his family. My mother likes to call him little Routon. Always running behind us, these happy memories are only six years. After primary school, the former loving mother has become a fascist, learning a lot and not allowed to play with friends, saying that it has a great influence. Actually, my aunt just graduated from primary school, so I don't think she knows how to educate her children. She is only simple and rude. If someone interferes, she will scold you for being born as a Buddha, and two Buddhas will ascend to heaven. Including my grandparents and my brother-in-law, he is a hen-pecked wife. There is no right to speak at home, but the simple and rude education method is exactly the same.

Nevertheless, he has been studying well. He is a very clever doll, but he just has a hard time. In junior high school, he was admitted to the best middle school, but he was far from home. Sometimes he goes home once a month. Once I went to see him at school and finally saw a long-lost smile on his face. By this time, I was a sophomore. I remember I bought him some pancakes. He is very happy. He is already a tall and strong young man. He is as shy as a little girl. He looked inexplicably sympathetic. Once, I heard my mother say that my aunt went to school to make a scene. What is the reason? Pippi didn't want to go home, so he borrowed money from his classmates' parents, and then asked them to ask his parents for it. In fact, this is understandable.

But my aunt was unhappy and humiliated, so she stormed to school and swore at the school gate. Pippi cried very sadly. At that time, several girls were soft-hearted and cried with her. The headmaster couldn't stand it, and several teachers advised her, but she had no choice but to call the police. Fortunately, not long after, my cousin graduated from junior high school. After the senior high school entrance examination, he became more silent. He stayed at home during the summer vacation. Sometimes he sits for a long time without saying a word. My aunt is very happy. The child finally obeyed and didn't go anywhere. Everyone around shook their heads, only thinking that the doll was guilty. How can you have such parents? After my cousin went to high school, his studies were tense. My aunt is going to rent a house near high school to take care of him. He knelt down and said to them, please don't rent a house. My aunt flew into a rage and said nothing. Pick up a stick and hit it, as you like. Later, when she was tired of playing, she gave up, because she saw the deep hatred in her cousin's eyes, and she was probably afraid.

She ran to the school to find the girl, slapped her twice and called her a shameless fox. At an early age, she knew how to seduce men. The girl was ashamed and angry, crying like a pear, and jumped off the building in a rage. Fortunately, she was saved, but her cousin became famous and everyone pointed fingers. However, the school gave her the greatest protection. Graduated smoothly and was admitted to 2 165438+.

When I was in college, my sister still gave him money, and he still did odd jobs. He remained silent, unsmiling and gloomy. After graduating from college, his mother asked him to take the postgraduate exam, but he ignored it and was admitted to a unit in Jinan. At this time, the sea is really wide and the sky is very high. He got rid of the shackles of his parents completely. His mother is a lonely girl, afraid to go out of town, so he has to worry about it. Once, she found me and asked me to take her. When I said I didn't have time, she immediately turned against me. I said, shut up, I'm not Pippi, you can round it and flatten it. Now, you still don't understand. She left swearing.

My sister-in-law can't use WeChat, let alone QQ. The only phone number has been hacked by Piera, so I can't contact her. I was so angry that one day she beat chickens and scolded dogs at home. My brother-in-law has been working hard and his ears are poisoned every day. It's a good thing that he doesn't fart.

Pippi is afraid to fall in love because menstruation has left him an indelible psychological shadow, and he is even more powerful to the opposite sex. My sister and I traveled to Jinan, and he invited us to dinner. He became optimistic and cheerful, and his eyes were clear and clear. It's really gratifying that the child has been forced to be so depressed. I am really happy for him, but unfortunately, he has never found a girlfriend. I can understand that I would rather be lonely than make do with it. Throughout life, grass grows in autumn. Why should you be too wronged?

My cousin ignored them. They are in a hurry. Seeing that they are getting bigger and bigger, there is only one child. What can we do when we are old? So many people say that she just deserved it, deserved it.

It can only be said that it is really a terrible thing to fail the exam.

Strict education will also cause problems in children's personality, personality, behavior and various values after adulthood. Let's analyze it in detail:

First, it is easy to form a ruthless character.

Strict education often makes children feel less warm. Living in a strict environment for a long time will make people heartless. They can't understand or even accept the love and care given by others. Their character is also cold and heartless.

We often see some people who never talk about family and friendship, and have no love and sympathy. In this way, their lives will always be stuck in a lonely state, with relatives far away and no friends. In this state, they will be more ruthless and will always be in a vicious circle.

Second, it is easy to go astray.

In 20 10, the China Youth Crime Prevention Research Association conducted a nationwide sample survey of juvenile delinquents, and found that parents are too strict with their children, which is the most important reason why many children go astray.

Many children in primary and secondary schools will be paranoid, unruly and willful during the rebellious period, and some parents will strictly discipline them in a simple and rude way. Even some parents will curse their children and say anything unpleasant to them in order to alleviate their anger, such as "not learning well", "going to jail sooner or later" and "why live and die". Some harsh management methods have seriously dealt a blow to children's self-esteem and self-confidence in this period, and aggravated their rebellious psychology and behavior.

Third, bad stimulation makes behavior problems more serious.

Excessive harsh criticism and harsh criticism make children suffer too much bad stimulation, and when parents' benign encouragement and support are too little or no, children's behavior problems will be strengthened, thus aggravating children's bad psychology and bad behavior. Some children will "break the jar", run away from home, commit suicide and some anti-social behaviors, until they break the law and really embark on a road of no return, and their lives will be subverted.

The results of the "National Sampling Survey of Juvenile Delinquency" show that as many as 42.3% of children express "hate their parents". Speaking of which, what is the reason? The proportion from high to low is "don't understand me" (50.7%) and "don't care about my psychological feelings" (46.6%). "Don't let me do what I want to do" (45.6%) ...

Therefore, in the face of severe parenting style, it is necessary to use it properly and moderately in order to play a good role. For children, what they need more is parents' unconditional love and care, tolerance and acceptance, trust and support.

Every child is an independent individual. They are not parents' machines and should not be manipulated by their parents to live a wonderful life. However, many parents always pretend to be authoritative, forcing their children to listen to their own words, beating and cursing if they don't listen, forcing them to give up their ideas and listen to their parents. You know, an obedient child can only be a copy of his parents at most, and he can never spread his wings and soar in the blue sky like a bird. You want your children to be replicas, robots? I'm sure you still want him to live a different life. Then don't force them to do what you think is good for their children. It may not be what they like or what they want. Let them not be a continuation of the pain of our generation, let them fight for the tomorrow they want.

Looking at my colleague's son, he was the first in his class when he was a child, and fell to the bottom in his high school class. My attitude towards my daughter's education has gradually changed!

Colleague and sister, with a bad temper, are strict with their children since childhood and are famous in our unit. But it was obvious to all that his children had good grades at that time.

Several women in the unit are about the same age, and the children are not much different. Her son is two years older. At that time, he was in primary school, and every exam was the first in his class. When he wins the second place, he will be punished by her.

After every school mid-term and final exam, everyone will ask each other about their children's grades. At that time, she was always the mother of "other people's children" in everyone's eyes!

In everyone's envious eyes, his children are not so top-notch in junior high school, but they are also in the upper middle class.

She is strict with her son, and most other children go out to play with their partners after finishing their homework. But her children can't. After finishing her homework, she will make up some exercises. Once a child fails to achieve his goal, he will either fight or scold.

Once after school, I saw other students talking and laughing. Her child is sliding on the wall to go home, looking timid and distressed.

A colleague who was chatting at work once said that her child was doing homework alone in the room at night. She pushed the door in, and the child was hiding something in a panic. A closer look shows that there are answers behind the original problem set, and children are secretly turning over the answers when they encounter problems.

When my colleague saw it, he was furious and picked up a thick dictionary and threw it at the child's head. The edge of the book hit the child, his head was smashed and blood ran down his face. Later, the child was rushed to the hospital and it took two stitches to stop.

The key is that my colleagues didn't feel ashamed when they told me! Instead, I think it is good that he is strict!

Fortunately, however, the child was successfully admitted to a local key high school. After living in high school, children may be depressed for many years and begin to release themselves completely.

No one forces me to study any more. From the first year of high school, I learned all the way, and I fell in love. Colleagues are both hard and soft, but to no avail. In the end, I didn't even pass the college entrance examination, but I was admitted to an ordinary college. It's a pity. Later, my job was transferred, and I haven't seen you for many years. I don't know what happened to my children.

@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫-What about the children who are forced by their parents now? From the example of my colleagues educating their children, I gradually changed my education for my daughter.

First, the principle is strict, but life is democratic. Principles are not discussed, such as returning early at night, doing homework first and then playing; When you meet other things, discuss the children as adults and let them have a sense of participation.

Second, play is a child's nature and cannot be controlled blindly. Playing is the nature of all children. When they are old enough to play, let them go out and play with their friends, even if there are contradictions between them. It not only exercises children's social skills, but also is a way to develop their intelligence.

Third, when I was a child, my grades were not so important. What was important was to form a good habit! As long as children's grades in kindergartens and primary schools can remain above average, it means that children are not stupid. When I was a child, I tried to help my children develop good study and living habits. After junior high school, parents will save much trouble!

The child is growing up. I hope all parents can learn and grow up with their children and become qualified good parents.

It's sad to see this problem, because there are so many tragedies, including me and my children for a while.

I hope every parent can understand and remember that the child is an individual, he is not our private property, he is a living person with thoughts and feelings.

We have no right to let our children live according to our wishes, to choose a lifestyle that we think is comfortable, to choose a major that we think is good, to have good friends, or even to marry a good person. Remember, that's his life, not yours.

I saw Xiao Shede recently. Our family is very similar to Li Nan's. They have always believed in Buddhism, and their children have average grades, but they are lively, cheerful, independent and outgoing. My change is that when my child was promoted from grade four to grade five, he was called by his classmates to attend a parent class of a learning institution. I feel that my educational concept has been completely subverted. It makes me feel that my child is hopeless, I don't go to school, and I don't even have a job in the future.

I reported everything to the children in one breath. Send them to cram school early in the morning on weekends, come back to cram school homework, school homework, and buy them for their children. I am getting more and more anxious, and so are the children. But the result made me more anxious, and my grades not only didn't improve, but also declined.

Children must choose boarding schools until they graduate. I suddenly woke up. The child wants to alienate me and avoid his mother. I began to reflect, for two years, hysterically controlling children.

Now our family is calm again. The child chooses what she likes. You just need to know where I tell my children your bottom line is. If you are not sure, the child will talk to me and want my opinion. I think this is very good.

Parents should not force their children to study. Every child's flowering period is different, so we have to wait for the flowers to bloom. Children who are forced to study will feel tired of learning, some will be seriously depressed, some will even commit suicide, and some will even pay the price of their lives, which is not worth the candle.

Children are like trees in the forest. Some trees are suitable for making tables, some trees are suitable for making chairs, some trees are suitable for processing chopsticks, and so are children. Some children are suitable for learning, while others are not. We can let them learn a technology. We should accept the mediocrity of children, most of whom are ordinary people.

It is not necessarily outstanding people who live happily, but ordinary people who live unhappily. Everyone has a different definition of happiness. The child came into this world only through us, but he doesn't belong to us. He has his own life choices, as long as he doesn't regret it.

Children who are forced to grow up will not be happy in their later years.

Children in contemporary China don't use their brains, but play around as before. Nowadays, children use a lot of brains and don't exercise enough, so they will suppress themselves for a long time under the pressure of their parents. For example, in the third year of our class, including me, no fewer than five people dropped out of school, and there are many top students with good grades because of auditory hallucinations and depression. I found the inner similarity between us people-suppressing ourselves for a long time.

Suppress yourself for a long time, suppress your heart and become "sensible." To know that crying children have milk to eat, being sensible is really not a positive word. If you suppress your heart for a long time, you will not feel the happiness of life and the beauty of nature. What's more, you will become a walking corpse, with an empty body but no soul and a lack of passion to live. When the ambient pressure becomes greater,

At present, most of these children in our class have not changed and are still struggling at the bottom border, but there are also many people with good family background who can support themselves well without reading more. So who knows if your life is good? Only you know. So you just live for yourself.