He was an important official in the late Qing Dynasty, the founder and commander-in-chief of Xiang Army, and a great frontier official. He was also an advocate of the Westernization Movement. Together with Li Hongzhang and others, he initiated the modernization of China. Such a figure who has a great influence on the history of China, historians and the public have different opinions on him, and the controversy about him has never stopped, but his thoughts on managing the family and educating children have always been appreciated and studied by everyone.
Zeng Guofan has repeatedly mentioned the story of "Liuchi Lane" with his brother Zeng Guohuang. During the reign of Emperor Kangxi in the Qing Dynasty, the scholar of Wenhua Hall and the minister of rites lived in Tongcheng, Anhui Province, and the house was adjacent to the Wu family. There is an alley between the two courtyards for both sides to enter and exit. Later, the Wu family wanted to build a new house and occupied this road. The Zhang family disagreed, and the two sides were deadlocked. At this time, the Zhang family wrote a letter in anger and asked him to come forward to solve it.
After reading the letter, Zhang Ying thought he should be polite to his neighbors. His reply only wrote four sentences: "A thousand miles of books are just separated by a wall. Why not let him be three feet?" The Great Wall of Wan Li is still there today, but I haven't seen Qin Shihuang. "After watching it, the family offered to give up three feet of space. Seeing the situation, the Wu family also offered to give up the three-foot house foundation, hence the name "Six-foot Lane". This is a story about two prime ministers of the Qing Dynasty and Zhang.
The Zeng family is a big family. I was not an official, but I was in charge of housework at home. Zeng Guofan enjoined this younger brother to read "Family Instructions for Prime Ministers of Father and Son", saying that "every sentence comes from the heart" is a model of self-cultivation. This shows that Zeng Guofan attaches importance to family style and family precepts.
Facts have proved that Zeng Guofan's teaching of family children is correct, and none of the children of later generations is a "rebellious son", which is the best proof.
The only successful diplomatic activity in the history of the late Qing Dynasty was completed by Zeng Guofan's second son. He has served as minister to Britain and France and ambassador to Russia. He successfully recovered the Ili region from the enemy and signed the Sino-Russian Revised Treaty. This is Ceng Jize.
Zeng Guofan's third son, Zeng Ji Hong, loved natural science since childhood and made more achievements in mathematical research. He became a self-taught scholar, and wrote mathematical monographs such as Logarithmic Evaluation, Diagram of Circular Rate Test, and Subu Cao Yan. He is a famous mathematician in modern China. There are also many descendants who take mathematics as their profession.
Ceng Jize's son Zeng Guangquan is proficient in English, French, German and Manchu. He followed in his father's footsteps and served as the ambassador of the late Qing government to North Korea and Germany. Later, he served as the general manager of the School of Translation of Shi Jing University, and was also a famous translator. In addition to Ceng Guang's right, there are also translators such as Yuenong Zeng and Zeng Xiansen in the Zeng family.
Zeng Shaojie, the great-grandson of Zeng Guofan, is a famous seal cutting calligrapher, Zhao Sui, the great-granddaughter of Zeng Guofan, is a famous cultural expert, and Zeng Xianjie, the great-grandson of Zeng, is a famous painter ... In addition, the descendants of Zeng family are also quite accomplished in calligraphy, such as,, Zeng, etc., which are highly praised by later calligraphers.
More than ten descendants of Zeng joined the army, five of whom were graduates of Huangpu Military Academy. Zeng and Zeng Guangrong were successively awarded the rank of Major General of the Kuomintang army. I was great-great-granddaughter. She is a doctor of medicine from Peking Union Medical College, and once served as the president of Beijing Third People's Hospital. Ceng Guoquan's great-grandson was the deputy director of the Department of Integrated Management of Economic Crops of the Ministry of Agriculture.
A family can prosper for two or three generations by the protection and accumulation of ancestors, but it cannot prosper for several generations by the ancestral property. Zeng Guofan was clearly aware of this fact. He once told his family that "the official residence does not accumulate wealth, leaving children helpless." Therefore, "Never leave money to future generations".
Zeng Guofan did not leave any property to future generations, but left a real wealth that can be immortal from generation to generation. This is the family motto of Zeng, which is based on letters. So, today, let's take a look at what passwords are hidden in the family instructions that my great-parents made a fortune.
Don't think about being an official.
Zeng Guofan once summed up the "periodic law of rise and fall" of four families, namely, the official family, the merchant family, the farmer's family and the filial family. Contrary to our common sense judgment, he thinks that the official family is the easiest to decline, followed by the merchant family, and most of them last for a long time.
On the basis of the comparison of the four, Zeng Guofan declared: "I rely on the accumulation of ancestors today, and my youth has arrived early. I'm afraid it will be exhausted by one body. So I hope it is the home of filial parents, not the home of officials. You must study hard and be diligent, and you can't always be an official. "
He doesn't want his family to be officials for generations. In fact, he can't and can't be an official for generations. When he wrote to his wife, Mrs Ouyang, he also said that our family should not think about being an official for generations. Being an official is accidental, not inevitable. We can't take this accidental thing as a necessity, as the pursuit of several generations of the family. Since ancient times, the higher the official position, the greater the risk. Based on this, Zeng Guofan does not want his descendants to be officials and senior officials.
In his letter to his younger brothers, he said that if the younger brothers can't see through this truth, even if they went to high school in the imperial examination and became prominent officials, they can't be regarded as descendants of their grandfather's sages, nor can they be regarded as heroes of the Zeng family. If you can see through this truth, you don't think you will be a big official in the future. That is the envy of his brother.
Gengduzheng road
The Zeng family is a typical family heirloom. In the history of the Zeng family. I have been unknown for five or six hundred years. Although there are scholars, no one has achieved fame, not even a scholar. However, this family can last for a long time, and naturally there are family traditions to maintain. Zeng Guofan's grandfather, Xing Gang, has a couplet, which is the answer-to serve the ancestors with a fragrance, to be sincere and respectful, and to teach the children and grandchildren. Both roads must be repaired and they must study.
These two sentences seem simple, but they are the truth that a family can last for a long time. Generally speaking, China has two belief systems: one is to believe in the destiny, and "Heaven" is the Emperor of Heaven, while China people are afraid of Heaven; First, trust our ancestors. When we encounter major problems, we often pray for our ancestors and hope that they will bless our descendants. You know, God is far away from us, and we can only fear him. Ancestors are people who have existed in our lives and are close to us.
Zi Chan of Zuo Zhao Zhuan Gong Eighteen Years said: "Heaven is far away and humanity is near, which is beyond my reach. How do I know? " This means that heaven is far away from the world, and human nature exists in the social personnel around us and can be mastered nearby. What people can't reach is unpredictable. So it's better to respect our ancestors. "When you smell the fragrance of your ancestors, you must be sincere and respectful." When you respect your ancestors, you should respect them as they were there.
"Teach children and grandchildren two right paths". What are the two right paths? "Suitable for farming and reading". "Agriculture" is agriculture, and agriculture is for eating. Here, it generally refers to getting the fruits of labor by your own hands. "Reading" is reading, of course. Reading is to cultivate one's self-cultivation and make future generations not stupid. This is a family heirloom. While farming, don't forget to study and promise not to farm for the rest of your life.
In the old days, scholars hoped that "Tian Shelang was the emperor's palace at dusk", and the ancient imperial examination system in China provided farmers' children with a way to study and be an official. During the Sui and Tang Dynasties, farmers' children took the imperial examinations, and so did Zeng Guofan. Although their ancestors were landlords, they were also farmers. "Be Tian Shelang early, be emperor later" has been reflected in him.
Zeng Guofan mentioned in Family Instructions that there are many places to learn. He thinks reading is to stop stupidity. Confucius said, "I only know (wisdom) from above and remain foolish from below." Why do you say "I am stupid"? A fool is an ignorant fool who has never read a book, so he will not change his point of view and behavior. Want to "go to the imperial palace at dusk" and discuss state affairs with the emperor without studying?
Strict management of the family.
"Strict education" has always been advocated by Zeng Guofan. He believes that "family management is strict, and strict father often has more dutiful sons. If it is not strict, children's habits will become lazy and the abuses will be unspeakable."
The three-character scripture says, "If the son doesn't teach, the father is guilty." If the discipline is not strict, the child's bad habits will gradually develop, and what the father said will turn a deaf ear and be completely ignored. After a long time, children will become dissolute and lazy and do nothing all day, which will cause many problems.
Zeng Guofan said that the phenomenon that "children are lax in habits and will be lazy in a few days" is really special in large families, especially wealthy families. The children in these families can be said to be well fed and warm, and there is almost nothing they want to do. Naturally, they do whatever they want. In this case, the consequences are numerous, and a family is defeated by these people.
Zeng Guofan took the Book of Changes as an example to illustrate the benefits of strict family education. He said: "Therefore, the Book of Changes is called Ruji! If you want to be strict and powerful, you must be based on Zhuang Jing, unsmiling and unsmiling. Therefore, "prestige is like good luck, and reflexivity is also called." "
"Blessed" means that family members should have love, but excessive love will inevitably turn into doting. Therefore, it is necessary to be "awesome", that is, parents should have dignity, which should be based on the solemnity and awe on weekdays. Fathers should not be like fathers, and they should be kind and gentle, so that children can learn to be human and families can be harmonious and beautiful.
This belongs to the doctrine of the mean, which is neither indulgent nor strict. It can be seen that the father must have dignity at home, and the father has no dignity. There are no rules between father and son. If you can't control your children at a critical time, you have no dignity. Your children don't believe what you say and don't respect you as a parent.
It should be noted that "Wei Ruji" can only be auspicious if it is majestic. Wei Ru is not domestic violence. Where does prestige come from? "Reflexion is the so-called", that is, parents know how to reverse Xiu De and set an example for themselves. In other words, on another level, "prestige" is not only strict with others, but also strict with oneself. Constantly reflect on your own shortcomings, so that prestige can come out, and you can ask your children to do what they say, instead of "father is not a father, son is not a child."
However, Zeng Guofan also put forward: "It is important to be strict in managing the family, and you can't be too restrained." In other words, while being strict, don't restrict children too much. You will find fault with a little thing, and your children will be out of breath and at a loss. Everything they do feels against their parents' wishes. Such education will be counterproductive.
We often say today that children have a rebellious period of youth. How is rebellion formed? Sometimes it is related to parents' picky and restrictive behavior. It can be seen that parents must give their children a free space while strictly managing their children. Otherwise, if the child is over-supervised, his nature will be completely curbed. Therefore, strict housekeeping is important, but don't go to extremes. Learn to temper justice with mercy and give children a room to grow up. In this space, children will feel relaxed and free.
Children need diligent education.
The education of children is regular, not accidental. Occasionally, education will certainly not be effective, and children will not take it seriously. Zeng Guofan later took his children with him, that is, he was diligent in teaching and educated them as ordinary classes.
In his later years, in order to encourage his two sons and nephews, Zeng Guofan wrote four daily lessons as his will: "Cautious independence means peace of mind, respect for others means strength, benevolence means pleasure, and learning merits means respect for others". In a word, it is eight words: "Be cautious and independent, respect others and learn to work."
Why did you write these four articles? Because Zeng Guofan was ill at this time and knew that he was dying soon, he condensed his years of life thinking and pursuit into four sentences and eight sentences, and passed them on to his second sons as the last family instruction, hoping that they would keep them in mind and pass them on to the future. This is Zeng Guofan's way of self-cultivation, which he used to admonish all his life. This is the charm of his reputation as "eternal perfection", and it is also the basis of his lifelong learning and career success. He said at the end of the Ten Commandments:
"The gentleman of the ancient times will be able to settle down and strengthen his body, and then he will be revitalized; It will make people happy, and there will be auspicious parties. These four articles in this book are used by the elderly to make up for the legacy of the past year and also to encourage their two sons. Take these four lessons every night and these four lessons every month. I still give it to my nephews for safekeeping in order to succeed. "
Zeng Guofan believed that ancient gentlemen attached importance to self-cultivation, keeping the family in order, and keeping the family in order. They must feel at ease and be strong, and then revitalize their family business. Getting along with others can make others happy and get the admiration of the gods, so there is a scene where everyone comes together. As part of the education of two sons and nephews, it is said that Zeng Guofan did not do it himself at that time, and his children also participated. * * * How could he not follow it in the future? This move is actually to let children have more sense of responsibility.
As can be seen from the above, Zeng Guofan's education for his children cannot be separated from "diligent teaching". Diligence is not only useful for children's education, but also related to the rise and fall of a family and dynasty. He once discussed with Zhao Liewen that one of the reasons for the prosperity of the Qing Dynasty was diligence. This is just the opposite of the Ming Dynasty.
The emperors of the Ming Dynasty, except Zhu Yuanzhang, Judy and Zhu Zhanji, were hard-working, most of them were unspeakable. For example, in the first ten years of Ming Shenzong and Zhu Yijun's reign, they were diligent and wise, and also created a situation of "Wanli Zhongxing"; However, he was in power for thirty-eight years, wasted on politics and indulged in drinking and having fun day and night. Since then, he has stopped going to court and the national operation has almost stopped.
Ming Shenzong himself, his father, Emperor Qin Long, and his grandfather, Emperor Jiajing, lived in Xiyuan for more than 20 years during their reign, studying Taoism and metaphysics, with Yan Song and his son as the main subjects in politics. The emperors of the Qing Dynasty were different. In view of the lessons of the collapse of the Ming Dynasty, emperors of past dynasties were really diligent in political affairs, even Emperor Guangxu in the late Qing Dynasty. This is taught by the royal family law, so Zeng Guofan said that educating children should also be like this, and they should study hard.
Words and deeds, all six are true.
Parents are their children's first teachers, and they spend the longest time together. It's too important to be subtle. What he did has a very important influence. What parents often do, children will learn, and parents' usual behavior, whether good or bad, will set an example for children, and children will learn invisibly. Zeng Guofan, for example, gave a good demonstration.
Zeng Guofan believes that the way of living at home, if frugal, can last for a long time. In troubled times, abstinence from luxury is the essence. High-profile show off wealth, thieves will be eyeing you, and the court will be eyeing you. This is purely asking for trouble. Especially in troubled times, the accumulation of money in troubled times is the greatest ominous and will lead to many disasters. Also, clothes should not be equipped too much, and styles should not be decorated too much, especially with too gorgeous lace. High-profile ostentation will bring unnecessary trouble to himself, so Zeng Guofan asked his children to be frugal and keep a little childlike.
At work, Zeng Guofan often talks about "five arrivals", that is, physical arrival, mental arrival, eye arrival, hand arrival and mouth arrival. Zeng Guofan summed up the words "being clear, cautious and diligent" in the daily work of the ancients as "leaving no criminal record and being selfless." "No case left" means that no matter how many things have to be finished on the same day, they can't be finished together. "Office selfless money", your office and home, not a penny is hidden or of unknown origin.
Zeng Guofan's demonstration in reading can be said to be a model. Zeng Guofan set an example, often leading his family to study and spending his spare time with his children at night. Children have already read books like Mencius Justice, but Zeng Guofan has to teach his two sons again and again. He thinks that a book needs to be read a hundred times before it can be finished, and every time it is read, there may be different interpretations and understandings.
No matter in the military career or in the governor's yamen, he will arrange a certain amount of time to study every night, read at least two or three volumes of poetry, and then spend a certain amount of time studying in class. Until two days before his death, Zeng Guofan was still reading Biography of Neo-Confucianism in Song and Ming Dynasties.
Zeng Guofan attaches great importance to the cultivation of kung fu, which is also the most important in his political achievements. Xue Fucheng, an aide, summed up Zeng Guofan's success in his life, saying that the secret of his success lies in "self-denial, taking sage as the body". The former belongs to self-cultivation, while the latter refers to employing people.
In terms of "incorruptibility", Zeng Guofan was incorruptible all his life, and left little legacy to his family when he died. He has five daughters and two sons, * * * divided into seven points, and each person can get more than one thousand taels of silver, which is all the property.
"Filial piety" includes two meanings: "filial piety" is for elders, and "friends" are for brothers and sisters and other peers. Regarding "filial piety", Zeng Guofan said that "things are favored." For peers, the ancients said that the best way for brothers is to be friends, that is, brothers should get along like friends.
The above is Zeng Guofan's demonstration in six aspects, influencing his children by "example".
Zeng Guofan is truly "duty-bound" to his work and family. He realized the ideal state of Confucian "Three Immortals" and was called "China's first perfect man through the ages". Zeng Guofan may not have thought that his family precepts have also influenced future generations more than one hundred years later.
Today's topic: Do you think Zeng Guofan's family instructions are still meaningful today? What would you say if you left the family instructions to future generations?
Text reference: the secret of a century-old family