1. The more famous aphorisms and couplets about cows, the better

1. Famous aphorisms

An old cow makes a straight furrow

One ox can replace seven people

With a cold eyebrow and a thousand fingers, I bow my head and am willing to be a ox.

I am like a cow, eating grass and squeezing out Milk, blood.

The old ox also knows that the sunset is late, so there is no need to raise his whip

2. Couplet

Spring comes to the house in the ugly time; good fortune comes in the year of the ox

Warbler Beside the dance floor, willow oxen are plowing the streets in spring

Across the river in Hengzhou, there are ten miles of green, and countless oxen are blooming in the springtime

Green willows are welcoming the spring, thousands of miles of green oxen are plowing the land, and thousands of mountains of gold are plowing

The red plum blossoms are proud of the snow, thousands of gates are blessed with green fields, and the cattle are grazing and the grain is abundant

The cattle are plowing the fertile fields, and the green magpies are making noise with the red plum blossoms. Huan

The Cowherd plays the flute to welcome the spring and the Goddess scatters flowers and blessings. Pictures

The Cow Lord controls the universe and spring brings joy and joy. 2. Jokes about Cows

You good!

Traditional company: There are two cows. Sold one and bought a bull. Your herd grows and your economic benefits increase. Eventually you sell them and retire on the income.

American Company: There are two cows. You sell one and force the remaining one to produce the milk of four cows. You are very surprised when the cow dies from exhaustion.

French Company: There are two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese company: There are two cows. You redesigned them. As a result, they are 1/10 the usual size, but they can produce 20 times the milk. Then you create a cartoon cow image, named Cowkimon, and sell it all over the world.

British Company: You have two cows. But it's all crazy.

German Company: You have two cows. Your engineers improved them so that they can live for 100 years, eat only once a month, and milk themselves.

Italian Company: You have two cows. But you have no idea where they are, so go take a lunch break.

Russian Company: You have two cows. You count them and find that you have 5 cows. You count again and find that there are 46 cows. You count again and find that there are only 12 cows. So you get fed up, stop counting the cows, and open the third bottle of vodka.

Swiss company: There are 5,000 cows, and none of them belongs to you. You charge other people for keeping these cows.

Chinese company: You have two cows. But there are 300 people milking the cows. You claim that the employment rate is extremely high and the productivity of cattle is extremely high, while at the same time arresting journalists who report the real situation. 3. Cold jokes about cows

Can never be explained

One beautiful morning, the sky was extremely clear, but a farmer was sitting drunkenly at the door of his house, feeling lost.

A passerby came up curiously and asked: "Fellow, the weather is so nice today, why don't you go and enjoy it, instead of drinking here."

The farmer replied: "Hey, Some things you can never explain."

Passerby: "What happened?"

Farmer: "I was milking a bucket today. He kicked the bucket over with his left foot."

Passer-by: "It's quite unlucky, but it's not that bad."

Farmer: "Hey, you can never do something. Explanation."

Passer-by: "What happens next?"

Farmer: "I tied the cow's left leg to the pole with a rope and squeezed it, and it happened to be a bucket. It was full, and it kicked the bucket over with its right leg again."

The passerby laughed and asked, "What then?"

Farmer: "Hey, something happened. , you will never be able to explain it. I also tied its right leg to the pillar, and it happened to be filled with a bucket, and it swept the bucket down with its tail."

Passer-by: "That's unlucky. Forget it, don't be sad."

Farmer: "Hey, there are some things you can never explain."

Passerby: "What else?"

Farmer: "This time I don't have a rope, so I plan to use a belt to tie the cow's tail to the post. I pulled out the belt and grabbed the cow's tail. At this time, my pants fell off, and I happened to My girlfriend came in..."

Already crazy

One day, on the vast Australian grassland, two cows were discussing about the mad cow disease in Europe.

One cow said to another cow: "I heard that mad cow disease in Europe is very scary. I wonder if we have it here?"

The other cow shouted: "You are crazy, we Is it a kangaroo?"

The Train and the Cow

The train suddenly made a grunting sound and then stopped suddenly. All the passengers jumped from their seats.

"What happened, conductor?" a woman shouted testily.

"No big deal, just a nasty cow that ran into us."

"Is it on the road?"

"Oh , not much different," the conductor replied, "We were hit by it in the cowshed on the roadside."

The use of cowhide

The teacher asked the students: " Who can tell me what the cowhide is used for?"

Niu Niu raised his hand: "It can be used to make leather shoes, belts..."

Bingbing then replied: "It can be used to blow! "

Teacher: "※%￥#@..."

Teacher: "Xinxin, you are the best, please answer."

Xinxin hesitated. After a long time, he said: "The biggest use of cowhide is to wrap beef..."

The teacher fainted.

I am a male

There was a girl who went to the ranch to practice milking, but everyone else milked a bucket. She only milked a little. She was anxious, and suddenly the old cow said "Miss, I'm a male!"

Anatomy class

During the anatomy class, there were five hearts on the dissecting table, one of which was at least four times larger than the others. The classmates whispered:

"This person must have died of pleural effusion."

"This person must have died of myocarditis. The heart has become so thick, it must be inflamed. "

"This person must have had a myocardial infarction, and both the left and right ventricles are hypertrophied. "

The teacher said: "In order to let the students see it more clearly, I specially prepared one today. Big heart..."

Classmate: "@#@#$%"&*..."

Make him jealous

A farmer was raped by him His wife dragged him to court. The wife told the judge: “I really can’t live with him anymore. All he cares about is his cow. "

The judge gave her an idea: "You can also try to make him jealous. You can find a bull to dance with you from time to time. "

I am guilty

A man went to church to confess.

The priest said to him: "Everyone is guilty. What mistake did you make? "

The man replied: "Father, I stole someone else's cow. What should I do? Can I give you the cow? "

The priest replied: "I don't want it. You should return the cow to its owner. "

The man said: "But he said he didn't want it. ” 4. Tell a few jokes about cows

A king chose a son-in-law, pulled a cow to the river and said: Whoever can make this cow nod first, then shake its head and then jump into the river, I will marry the princess. Give it to him.

A butcher came up and said to the cow: "How awesome is that?" The cow nodded.

The butcher said again: "Do you know me?"

The butcher stabbed the cow in the buttocks, and the cow jumped into the river in pain.

The king thought the butcher was rough, so the butcher asked to try again, and the king agreed. The cow was pulled to the river again.

The butcher stepped forward and said to the cow: Do you know me? The cow nodded.

The butcher said again: Can’t you give me back? The cow shook his head.

The butcher said with a smile. ;Do you know what to do? The cow turned around and jumped into the river

Happy Year of the Ox 5. Cow jokes

"Steak and Cow"

Little Charlie and the Next Door The boy John was bragging together.

Charlie said: "My uncle invented a machine. As long as the cow is sent in from this end, the steak can be sent out from the other end." How great! "

John said: "My cousin also invented a machine. As long as the steak is sent in from this end, the cow can come out from the other end. Better than your uncle! "

"John," said Charlie, "let your cousin sell the machine to my uncle. "

"Why? " John asked.

"My uncle can stop raising cattle in the future. "Charlie said.

--------------------------------------------- --------

Borrowing a Cow

A man came to a rich man's house to borrow a cow with a letter. The rich man was talking to the guest, so he took the letter and read it. . He was illiterate, but he was afraid that others would know that he was illiterate, so he pretended to open the letter and read it, and then said to the visitor: "I know, I will go there in person later." ”

--------------------------------------------- -------

Cow Joke

A group of animals encountered a shipwreck and were drifting on the sea in a small boat. The food was almost finished, and they decided to throw away some of their companions through a game. Go down. The rule is to tell the joke in turn. If the joke doesn't make all the animals laugh, it's bad luck.

The cow tells the joke first.

The cow joke was so great that almost every animal laughed, but not the pigs. So the cow was thrown overboard. Then it's the sheep's turn. Sheep jokes are terrible. No one can laugh. But the pig burst into laughter.

"Why are you laughing?" the animals asked in confusion.

"Sorry, I remembered the cow's joke." The pig replied slowly.