In 1888, Van Gogh left Paris and came to Arles in Provence. Provence is the hometown of lavender, but what really attracted Van Gogh was the blazing sun and the endless wilderness. At that time, Van Gogh was in a deep depression. He felt that he was worthless and a burden that his brother Theo could not support.

So he fled the bustling metropolis alone and came to a remote town in southeastern France.

He stared deeply at the wheat field in front of him, feeling a freedom he had never experienced before.

Two years later, it was such a wheat field that covered Van Gogh’s body after being shot. The bullet penetrated the lower abdomen and lodged in Van Gogh's spine. Life poured out of the wound drop by drop. Van Gogh, who was still breathing, slowly walked around and left the crowd of crows whirling and hissing behind him.

No one knows how he was shot, and Van Gogh's eyes were closed in silence. A few days later, the 37-year-old painter died in the arms of his brother Theo.

He thought he had only sold one painting in his life, but in fact, even that painting was done by his younger brother Theo and asked someone to buy it, just to cheer up his brother.

He lived a life of wandering and poverty. Until his death, Van Gogh did not believe that he was actually a genius. He never knew that a hundred years later, his "Sunflowers" would sell for $42 million. The painting "Van Gogh without Beard" even achieved a sky-high price of US$71.5 million.

He became a well-known painter, and his originally criticized life was picked up and turned into a legend. As a result, people began to study the real cause of Van Gogh's death. Most people firmly believe that this maverick painter must have died of suicide; there is also evidence that a murderer fired the gun, causing Van Gogh's soul to burst out of the wound and fill the air where crows circled. Lonely wilderness.

In the 21st century, the famous British film studios BreakThru Films and Trademark Films began to prepare an animated film called "Loving Vincent". The production team found 125 painters from 15 countries around the world, conducted an in-depth investigation of 800 letters from Van Gogh during his lifetime, painted 65,000 oil paintings in one day, and then superimposed them into this oil painting film at a speed of 12 pictures/second. work. In this movie, whose Chinese translation is "Loving Van Gogh: Mystery of the Starry Sky," the entire film explores the true cause of Van Gogh's death from the perspective of a postman.

But just as in the movie, Margaret, who had an affair with Van Gogh, said to the postman Armand: "You have always wanted to know how he died, then you know how he lived. ”

Yes, death is eternal, but the short life is the beauty we should know most.

Vincent William van Gogh was born on March 30, 1853, in the vicarage of Zundert, a market center in Brabant, southern Netherlands. He is the eldest son of this clerical family, but not the first child. He actually had an older brother, but this older brother he had never met died at birth.

When Van Gogh was born, it happened to be the anniversary of his brother's death. He also inherited the name that originally belonged to his brother.

Speaking of which, Van Gogh's family is like another "One Hundred Years of Solitude". Everyone names them in a cycle. There is a Vincent and a Theo in each generation. Vincent Van Gogh's younger brother Theo became his biggest listener and supporter in his life.

But when they were children, they didn't know they would have such a deep bond with each other. At that time, Van Gogh wanted to be a priest.

Such thoughts may be influenced by family. Van Gogh's grandfather and father were both priests. What's more, since he was a child, Van Gogh was isolated at home by his mother and was prohibited from playing with children from the "lower class." With a withdrawn personality, he was unable to adapt to school life and, furthermore, lost his basic ability to interact with others normally. I am dull in front of others, but extremely emotional behind the scenes, and I really need an outlet to vent. He needs a belief to calm his restless and frightened heart.

However, even though Van Gogh passed the priesthood test and successfully became an assistant priest. As a missionary, he preached in Borinage, a suburb of Mons, but he failed to become a real priest. priest.

In the end, he was expelled from the church (one theory is that Van Gogh was too fanatical; another theory was that the church disdained Van Gogh for being too close to the lower classes). That year, Van Gogh was 26 years old.

After losing his job, Van Gogh didn't know how to face his family. He lost his right to preach and was abandoned by those closest to God. Although his tutor since childhood strictly prohibited Van Gogh from hanging out with the lower class, his only savings could only allow him to live with the poor people.

He turned his back on the gods, but he could still see some light in those so-called lower-class untouchables. This time, he remembered the paintbrush.

As early as the age of 18, Van Gogh had the urge to paint, but this idea was strongly blocked by his family. Now, he uses paint to record the poor coal miners and the work these workers do in the mines without seeing the light of day all year round. Their skin was the same color as coal, and their burden-bearing backbones were strained to the point of deformation. Van Gogh painted their fatigue, their silence, their hopelessness, and their last persistence.

Van Gogh wrote in his letters: "The image of a laborer, a furrow on a farmland, a beach, the ocean and the sky are all important objects of depiction. These are not easy to depict. Paintings, but at the same time they are all beautiful. I am sure it is worthwhile to devote my life to expressing the poetry hidden in them..."

Prior to this, Van Gogh did not receive any formal training in painting. Some are his eyes, his hands, and his heart that is willing to touch the pain.

Van Gogh took the painting to an orthodox art academy to seek professional advice, but was met with a wall. Those people did not understand the beauty in Van Gogh's eyes, and scorned the darkness of the mines and the deep lines on the workers' faces.

Unappreciated talent, no one understands, no savings, no friends. Van Gogh was gripped by great loneliness. After much deliberation, he could only rely on his brother Theo.

So, in this almost desolate state of mind, Van Gogh returned to Brussels. He had infinite pain in his heart that he wanted to talk to his brother, and infinite colors that he wanted to paint on the canvas.

It was the beginning of the winter of 1880. Van Gogh was stumbling all the way, walking through the crowd with his drawing board on his back. Later, he wrote in a letter to Theo that "everyone has a fire in his heart, and people passing by only see smoke." He didn't know that it was the fire in his heart that made him become a world-famous painter and the starry sky that was still gorgeous even though it was distorted.

He didn’t know that at this time, more than half of his life’s progress bar had passed.

There are two biggest mysteries in Van Gogh's life. One is the real cause of his death, and the other is his severed left ear.

In the most widely circulated version, Van Gogh cut off his own ears just to please a prostitute.

The love of celebrities is the easiest to arouse curiosity. Nowadays, countless painting fans are imagining what kind of person can make Van Gogh so intoxicated and confused.

In 1873, Van Gogh was 20 years old and in London. At that time, he fell in love with his landlord's daughter. This may be the first time that Van Gogh faced his ignorant feelings and bravely proposed, but was rejected.

Later, after experiencing the failure of the priesthood, Van Gogh returned to Brussels and fell in love with his cousin again. This time, Van Gogh was angered and humiliated by his cousin, and was severely injured.

Two love failures made Van Gogh unable to afford it. At this moment, only his brother Theo was willing to accept him, so Van Gogh went to Paris and lived with his brother.

But Van Gogh could do nothing but paint. Although he met and interacted with the famous painters of the time, Pissarro, Degas, Seurat, and Cézanne, no one bought the paintings he devoted himself to creating. He is almost 35 years old, but he can't even afford his daily necessities.

This is a huge loss, whether it is for love, paintings, money, or for getting older.

So, he ran away, towards the wheat field that finally submerged him.

That is the "Yellow House" at No. 2 on Place Lamartine in Provence-Arles. In the early summer of 1888, Van Gogh stayed here. Unexpectedly, he received a very important guest.

Paul Gauguin, French Post-Impressionist painter and sculptor. His experience was later written into the famous novel "The Moon and Sixpence" by the British writer Maugham. Of course, that is another story.

In our story, he is Van Gogh's idol, the giant he most wants to get close to, and even - from a certain perspective - the person Van Gogh loves deeply in his heart.

In order to welcome Gauguin, Van Gogh specially decorated his house. The bedroom prepared for Gauguin was filled with sunflowers he painted. Van Gogh believed that Gauguin must have liked these paintings of his very much.

But in fact, Gauguin's intentions may not be pure. Everyone knows that the reason why Van Gogh, who had no financial resources, could still survive was entirely because he had a wealthy art dealer brother who was willing to support him free of charge. At that time, many painters were willing to approach Van Gogh because they were coveting the funds of his younger brother Theo, and Gauguin was no exception.

It’s all about money.

Moreover, after all, Van Gogh and Gauguin had very different personalities. Gauguin was rebellious, had his own way of doing things, and was deeply conceited, while Van Gogh was born with epilepsy, hyperactivity, auditory hallucinations, and self-destruction... It was a great ordeal for the two of them to get along.

So, the horrific ear-cutting incident happened.

In the most widely circulated theory in later generations, Van Gogh fell in love with a prostitute at that time. One day, the prostitute joked with Van Gogh, "Your ears are so beautiful, I want them." After that, Van Gogh, who was madly in love, actually cut off his left ear and gave it to the prostitute.

Some voices also said that when facing the prostitute, Van Gogh and Gauguin had a conflict, so the angry Gauguin raised his sword.

It was Gauguin—the person whom Van Gogh admired and wanted to protect the most—who cut off Van Gogh’s ear.

In any case, the truth has been revealed. Gauguin severed contact with Van Gogh. Van Gogh lost Gauguin and his own ears.

The cries of crows became more and more unsettling, and Van Gogh's spirit was on the verge of collapse. Everything is spinning, the earth, the wheat fields, and the starry sky. Can this spin stop? No matter what means, no matter who, can the world be restored to stability?

Two years later, a huge gunshot rang out in this wheat field. No one knows what kind of scene Van Gogh saw in his eyes when he fell.

A hundred years after Van Gogh's death, the Netherlands, where he was born, and France, where he committed suicide, are vying to recognize Van Gogh as their national. Van Gogh once had a wish during his lifetime: "One day I will find a cafe to exhibit my own works." This wish finally came true.

If you are lucky enough to go to Amsterdam, the Netherlands, you will see the Van Gogh Museum specially built by later generations. There, there are 200 of the most precious paintings from Van Gogh's golden period, as well as almost all of Van Gogh's letters. The life scattered in the starry night and wheat fields was slowly sorted out, and stood together with eternity.

The whole world is remembering the lonely painter in its own way, such as the song "Mr. Van Gogh" by Chinese singer Li Zhi.

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"You have always wanted to understand his death, but do you know how he lived?"

Yes, how did he live? Van Gogh, how did he live? What kind of person is he?

Regardless of the subsequent exaggeration of him, I have to say that Van Gogh was selfish, rogue, paranoid, abnormal, disdainful of worldly affairs, and pretentious.

He is not the perfect icon in popular culture. Nor is he a role model worth admiring or emulating.

But there is always an uncontrollable loneliness and sadness in his eyes. Wash away the filter of time, everything becomes indifferent and real, and suddenly I find that the late 19th century is no different from today.

A hundred years ago, there really lived such a stubborn mental illness. He was born, he dreamed, he painted, he was lost, and he died. He painted love with paint, he longed to be loved, he stubbornly resisted life, and was eventually swallowed up by life. He is just an ordinary person who is unwilling to compromise and insists on living according to his own wishes.

Just like every insignificant me and you among all living beings.