2. Produced in Hong Kong, censored in Beijing and broadcast in Shenzhen.
3. Someone is very stubborn. No one else can change him, and neither can he.
4, forget to zip up after urinating,-you are middle-aged; You forgot to unzip before urinating-you are an old man.
5. Men should love women more and know less about women; Women should know more about men and love less about men.
6, not afraid of suffering, suffering for half a life; Fear of suffering, suffer all your life.
7. The boss's key is his face. The key to beauty is the face. The key to politics is the thick-skinned lonely dog party. There are three kinds.
8. Don't forget to show off when giving gifts.
9. Stupid people are terrible no longer because they are stupid, but because they are smart.
10, 90% truth plus 10% monosodium glutamate is 100% truth.
1 1. Good people are scolded for doing bad things. The bad guys were praised for doing a little good.
12. Cherish the sunset glow on the mountain, the flowers on the grave, the dew on the leaves, the chicken on the palm, the butterfly on the shoulder and the blood and tears on the bed.
13. For a person weighing 200 kg, the urgent task is not to lose weight, but to find a person weighing 205 kg standing in front of him.
14, Fat Gospel: Not letting others see you is more important than losing weight.
15, theists die happily, atheists die really.
16, there are two kinds of good doctors: one is that they can cure patients themselves; One is to recommend patients to doctors who can't be cured.
17, a successful life begins with the audience, then the actor, and finally the backstage boss. A failed life is just the opposite.
18, people are living ghosts, ghosts are dead.
19, some people think that modern civilization has abolished cattle and horses and replaced them with cars. As we all know, modern people have to be cattle and horses to get on the bus.
20. Stupid people are terrible not because they are stupid, but because they are smart.
2 1, whose words are immortal for five hundred years; He is immortal for a thousand years. In a thousand years, the world will end and everything will rot.
22. The achievement in life seems to be a scavenger. You can't tell how to do it, but you can tell if you don't do it.
23. Sometimes, I love money because it is not enough, so I love power because it is too little, so I am scolded because I am not big enough.
24. I have never been seduced by a beautiful woman-I have only been seduced by other parts.
25. The older Russell is, the bigger the title of the article is; The older Hu Shi is, the smaller the title of the article is, the higher the realm is, and the sooner he knows it.
26. Yu Guangzhong, how can they become first-class literary and art workers without saying anything, so cold-blooded and evasive? What's more, they are still flattering. What kind of heart is this?
27. Some people (such as Li Ao) have headaches when they are friends, but their blood pressure is high when they are not friends.
28. Many people want to scold me. If you want to scold, please line up. It's hard to say whether it's your turn.
29. I have never let a villain suffer a loss. I made him suffer all his life.
30. It is not interesting to be taught by the geniuses in the world; ("Teach an apprentice and beat a master." What's the fun? It is a pleasure to be scolded as the best fool in the world.
3 1, you can't capitalize every letter or even write it as a flower. You should always be lowercase. Sometimes.
32. It is convenient for tall people to eat swan meat; Dwarves' works are so convenient.
33. I don't share problems, I only solve them.
34. The less a new woman is worthy of love, the more she complains that others are not worthy of love.
35. A successful life begins with the audience, then the actor, and finally the backstage boss. A failed life is just the opposite.
God gave the blind a "fair treatment": he couldn't see others before his death, and others couldn't see him after his death.
37. Armor beyond range is the best armor.
38. Banquet for one, soda and a song, not to worship Chen Sanyuan: I wish Laozi a hundred years old, I wish Laozi health, I wish him a swallow in the sky, and I don't see an asshole.
39. Destroying enemies depends on friends; Destroy friends and rely on friends and wives; Destroying a friend's wife is God's business.
40. It is human nature that the rich are capitalists and the poor are * * *.
4 1, I have a "double dragon hug" in my life: one is unfair and the other is a woman.
You don't know my character, do you? I don't eat at all. I'm a lot like Jews and Israelis. My reaction is quick. We in China believe that' exploitation loss' has never happened to me. I used to lose money, but now I want to take advantage of it and get it back. That's what I am. I will never lose!
43. Love begins with self-deception and ends with deception; Politics begins by deceiving others and ends by deceiving yourself.
44. Pavarotti, the world's three tenors, started with this gesture (hands open). Please applaud. Why are you clapping Because I was so vivid, you all forgot to applaud.
45. I often doubt that I am a nobody, because I often forget that I am a big shot.
46, forget to zip up after urinating, you are middle-aged; If you forget to unzip after urinating, you are an old man.
47. Philosophy is better than sitting up, while love is better than lying down.
48. Some people hate others.
49. Some problems are very strange: if they are solved, they are half solved; If you don't solve it, everything will be solved.
50. Someone challenged me and said, "Bring it on." I didn't answer, I just ran away, and then Monday morning quarterback knocked him down.
5 1. Make a fool of yourself and travel around the world, treat others with humility, treat comrades with vanity, and welcome death with nothingness.
52. You should know that behind people are wise men and aesthetes; He who knows how to look at people behind their backs is a traitor.
53. I was challenged to say, bring it on. I didn't answer, but ran away and knocked him down with Monday morning quarterback.
54. The experienced taxi driver said to me, "Driving in Taipei is terrible, worse than fighting. Fighting is just an enemy in front of you; Taxi drivers are all enemies. " I think so.
55. There is only one reason to move forward; There are a hundred reasons to retreat. Many people find a hundred reasons to prove that he is not a coward all day, but never prove that he is a warrior with one reason.
56. The legacy of American slavery in the 20th century-black athletes won the gold medal in the Olympic Games.
57. You will know what it is when you grow up. The so-called maturity is that you deliberately say you don't know after you know it.
58. Send a blank death certificate on your birthday; Send two blank divorce certificates when you get married. Those who can give gifts like this are true friends.
59. I like sundials. As long as there is no sunshine, it is not time.
60. First-class businessmen must make money regardless of the economic recession; A first-class writer should write books, no matter whether they sell well or not.
Li Ao's classic quotation 2 1, not every man is a prince riding a white horse.
So, please don't demand that he is not tall or handsome, and don't blame him for giving you only a pair of gloves instead of ninety-nine roses. Baby, you know, that's not a prince, you are his princess forever, and his love is to turn you into a princess's glass slipper.
Not every man can talk about love.
Therefore, please don't be suspicious when he simply answers "Love you or not", and don't let him turn this answer into a helpless habit. Baby, you should learn to understand wordless promises. Please believe that when he quietly looks at you and smiles, when he gently caresses your hair, when he naturally holds your hand, he loves you.
Not every man is good at refuting.
Therefore, when there is misunderstanding and he is silent, please don't push him away and cry your eyes red. Maybe in his opinion, it's just an irrelevant woman or something he would never do. He always believed it was true and didn't need much explanation. Baby, don't take this persistence as the default easily. Can't you see he's at a loss?
You know, yours is not Superman or Batman.
Therefore, when you are in trouble, he can't appear at the first time. Please don't blame him, because he can't be with you when you are helpless. That kind of worry is the biggest punishment for him. Baby, please remember, when he asks afterwards, please answer gently and tell him that everything is fine and don't worry.
Face is more important to men than anything else.
So, please give him full status in front of his friends. If he ignores you in front of friends, don't think he doesn't pay attention. Maybe he just wants to show your meekness. Don't mind being a little woman in front of people, baby. You know, that's the privilege of spoiled women.
6. Maybe men can't understand what women are thinking.
So, when you deliberately say no, and he really walks away, please don't swear to punish him well, because he is more depressed than you at the moment. If your partner can't understand you, then, honey, just tell him clearly, it will be easier for him to love and you can get what you really want. Why not?
7. Men should also have their own lives.
They will also be obsessed with games and want to go out drinking and playing cards with friends. Please don't text or call at this time, and don't ask him why he didn't take you with him. Don't you have a private space for women? Baby, give each other enough space to breathe fresh air.
8, men will be fragile, suddenly inexplicable depression.
So, when his face is full of fatigue and his eyes are full of boredom, please don't ask him if he doesn't love you anymore. You know, no one can please people all the time. Baby, at this moment, don't ask him what's wrong, just stay with him quietly.
Generally speaking, men don't understand women's hearts.
But sometimes, don't you often ignore their feelings? I have the obligation to accompany my girlfriend, but I have no right to give up my job. Under coercion, men can only carry everything on one shoulder. Life is very tired. When he works hard for the future, babies, don't let them be too tired.