First, the friendship between classmates is worth cherishing
Throughout the ages, people have attached great importance to the friendship between friends. Confucius said, "Isn't it a pleasure to have friends from afar?" Innocent friendship is a link that connects people's hearts, a spiritual pillar that inspires people to strive for progress, and a valuable asset in life. It gives people psychological comfort and makes people think rationally and add infinite wisdom. Among them, classmate friendship is the most worth cherishing.
1. Friendship is a unique and precious spiritual wealth in life.
Friendship is a close, friendly and mutually beneficial relationship between people formed on the basis of living and working together in social practice, and a stable interpersonal relationship based on the same ideals, hobbies and interests. Therefore, it shows a beautiful and intimate friendship between people, which is not only a reflection of good interpersonal relationship, but also a beautiful social emotion.
Friendship is of special significance and function to the healthy growth and success of college students: it can satisfy their strong desire to make friends; Give young college students a sense of stability and belonging; Gain experience in socializing and getting along with others; Improve the ability to be generous and rational; Get the opportunity to master social work skills and cultivate social observation; Promote the development of honesty, loyalty and trustworthiness. Healthy friendship can make people form a healthy entertainment circle, help improve interpersonal relationships and give life a correct meaning. Friendship provides a very important way for college students to acquire some knowledge and ability, and gives them a lot of psychological comfort after psychological weaning, which greatly promotes their socialization and all-round development and maturity of personality. Therefore, while studying professional knowledge, college students should pay attention to making friends and make use of the favorable conditions of college life to establish and develop pure and profound friendship.
2. Classmate friendship is a kind of beautiful and intimate friendship
The friendship of college students is produced, developed and deepened in communication. From the research and analysis of youth psychology, friends in college often form more intimate relationships than parents, teachers and other adults. For college students, "bosom friends" are more important than parents and teachers in some aspects. This is because the rapid development of self-awareness and the enhancement of adult sense in college gradually weakened the emotional dependence on parents and teachers, turned emotional dependence to peers, and was willing to confide in friends of the same age, such as loneliness, impatience, uneasiness and inadaptability peculiar to youth, willing to let friends * * * share secrets that they could not tell their parents and their elders, and willing to let friends comfort their hearts. Therefore, the classmate friendship of college students is a kind of beautiful and intimate friendship that needs to be cherished, which can make people know how to respect and love, and can gain the power of development from it; It can bring joy, relaxation and deep emotion to people more than love.
2. Establishing and maintaining friendship
The college years are the best in life and the golden age of friendship, but many college students themselves often sigh: "I have no real friends" and "I seldom have real friendship". There is an old saying, "The only way to get friends is to be friends with others." Therefore, it is not enough to just sigh. If you want to get friendship, you must make efforts to establish and maintain friendship.
1. Establishing a sincere friendship
It is not difficult to establish a sincere friendship. The key is that we should sincerely seek and establish it. * * * The same ideals, aspirations and pursuits are the foundation of sincere friendship; * * * The same interests and hobbies are the ties that bind friendship; Being able to stand the test of time and wind and rain is the life of sincere friendship.
(1) Really care about others
Generally speaking, there is no obvious conflict between college students on the surface, but there is insufficient inner communication, lack of sincere care and understanding, and they always sigh that "a bosom friend is hard to see". In fact, it is not difficult to deal with the relationship between classmates. The key is to start from ourselves. Instead of just grasping the shortcomings of classmates, we should be strict with ourselves, be lenient with others, take the initiative to communicate, eliminate misunderstandings and resolve contradictions in time, and a good classmate relationship will inevitably form and friendship will inevitably increase. In college life, we should not only ask others to pay attention to ourselves, others should understand themselves and others should obey themselves, but should pay close attention to the students around us. Whenever you really understand and treat everything around you, you will find that almost every student has a unique personality different from your own. No matter their strengths and weaknesses, wisdom or doubts, joy or troubles, progress or setbacks, success or difficulties, they are all available for your study and need your care and help.
(2) heart for heart
The best way to get friends is to be friends with others first. Only by loving others can you get friendly feelings. Only by caring and understanding others can you get their understanding and care. Friendship is mutual. You can never get true friendship if you only ask for it and don't ask for it. Cherish friendship, you should first take the initiative to take a half step forward, extend your hand to each other, take the initiative to care for your friends, pour out your inner troubles to your classmates, take the initiative to expose some of your secrets (such as your own little secrets) and your true views on people's affairs, which will gradually shorten the psychological distance between the two sides and make them feel trusted, trusted, accepted and valued. To this end, the other party will also open up to you, making the relationship between the two sides closer. When you confide a secret to the opposite party, no matter how big or small it is, you should keep it for the other party. This is not only the principle of dealing with people, but also the responsibility and obligation to your friends.
2. Maintaining friendship
The cultivation and development of friendship requires not only communication, but also the concerted efforts of both parties, and should be maintained and developed according to certain rules.
(1) sow with sincerity
This intimate relationship of friendship is manifested in confidences to friends. Meeting each other with sincerity and getting along with each other with sincerity are the primary conditions and foundations for establishing and maintaining friends' feelings. Without sincerity, friendship cannot be exchanged. Sincere friendship is not only manifested in "giving charcoal in the snow" and "sharing weal and woe", but also in "icing on the cake" and "being blessed"; It is characterized by being able to "speak frankly" and "call a spade a spade" when there are differences and estrangements; It shows sincere blessing and sincere joy when friends succeed and win honor.
(2) Watering with enthusiasm
Friendship requires both sides to invest with enthusiasm, get to know each other, care for each other, try their best to help friends share their worries, and find ways to solve their difficulties for friends. "Being anxious for friends is what makes friends happy", and they don't care about trifles, and they don't feel annoyed by personal gains and losses. At the same time, we must avoid using the "pragmatic" principle of choosing friends, and associate with them when it is profitable or in need of help; Leaving friends behind when it is unprofitable is also common on campus, but it is not something that college students should advocate and emulate.
(3) Cultivating with Principles
Making friends requires principles, and maintaining friendship is inseparable from principles. Friendship is based on the same values and morality, and it should conform to the values and morality of society. The establishment and maintenance of friendship can not be separated from principles, and should not be at the expense of the interests of society and others, nor should it be at the expense of the interests of any party. Therefore, the unprincipled kindness of brothers and sisters can only destroy and trample on friendship.
(4) Take care of
people make mistakes. For various reasons, it is inevitable that there will be contradictions, differences and misunderstandings between friends. At this time, the handling method is particularly important. If handled well, friendship will go further; If it is not handled properly, friendship may be stifled. At this time, we should dare to face contradictions, differences and misunderstandings, and don't avoid them; However, we must not be hasty and impatient. We should calmly analyze, understand and give in, talk frankly and take the initiative to resolve, so that friendship can be maintained and enhanced. Of course, not all established friendships can be maintained as always in real communication, and some friendships will be indifferent, broken or exist in name only for various reasons. On the one hand, we should actively communicate and strive to maintain it; On the one hand, we should be proactive, constantly establish and develop new friendships.
finally, I need to remind you that you must be careful in choosing your friends. Carelessness is the most common problem for college students when choosing friends. College students like to make friends, but they lack experience. They often make friends blindly and rashly, bringing them close at once. As a result, because the foundation is not good, I can't become friends, break up quickly, or accept bad influences, or even be deceived. The ancients said: "The friendship between gambling and gambling lasts for a long time, the friendship between eating and drinking lasts for a long time, the friendship between snobbery lasts for a long time, and the friendship between morality and morality lasts forever, and the whole world is like a treasure." Therefore, the consistency of leisure and entertainment methods and certain interests is not enough to be the basis of a solid friendship.
3. Principles of maintaining friendship
College students all need to establish friendship. No matter what degree of friendship is rooted in social life, it is impossible to be unconstrained by social ethics and unprincipled. In other words, principle is the condition of friendship.
(1) Defining the foundation of friendship
Friendship should be based on the pursuit that is beneficial to society, the collective and others, as well as personal progress and career. Building a friendship always has a purpose, either to help each other, or to have the same hobby, or to engage in a useful job. If friendship is based on self-interest, or breaking the law and discipline, or harming others' interests, or establishing a "United front" to deal with someone. This so-called friendship may seem particularly close in a short time, but it is hard to last, and it is easy to alienate and break up, or even turn against each other and slander each other.
(2) Dare to say "no"
Many college students think that close friends can't refuse each other, and they should meet whatever unreasonable demands the other party makes, otherwise what is friendship? This is a misunderstanding. One of the characteristics of friendship is mutual sincerity and mutual help. When you agree with your friend's wrong view against your will and do something you don't want to do, you have lost your sincerity with your friend. However, refusing unreasonable demands from friends requires not only skill, but also determination and courage. Friendship is hard-won and easy to lose, but we should not do anything against our will for fear of losing friendship, which is harmful to ourselves and friends. It should be pointed out that daring to say "no" is not "treachery". Friendship needs loyalty and more understanding.
(3) Maintain personal relative independence in communication
The value of friendship lies in not hurting each other's independence, and both sides maintain their own personality and independent personality, so as to make each other more trustworthy and friendship closer. Friendship is based on the existence of a relatively secret "self", and the communication of "losing self" and "self-centeredness" may lead to the loss of friendship. As the saying goes, "those who are too secret are sparse." Everyone has privacy and needs their own psychological space, too close friendship, telling the whole story to each other, and then they will feel unsafe because of too many secrets, and they will be suspicious if they have a little bad feelings. Once a friendship breaks down, intimate talk may be used to hurt each other unkindly.
Third, correctly handle the friendship between the opposite sex
Opposite-sex communication is an important aspect of social life and a sign reflecting the degree of social civilization. Friendship between the opposite sex is an important part of college students' friendship.
1. Friendship between students of the opposite sex
Some people say that there is only love between the opposite sex, but there is no friendship. This view is actually incorrect. Opposite sex communication is an important part of social life and a sign reflecting the degree of social civilization. The more civilized the society, the higher the degree of freedom of people, and the more frequent heterosexual contacts. As a result of communication with the opposite sex, some of them may develop into friendship, while others may embark on the road of love. However, regardless of the result, from a psychological point of view, communication between the opposite sex has a "heterosexual effect", that is, it has psychological integration, coordination and restraint and health care functions. Students of the opposite sex establish precious friendship or love through communication, which is not only beneficial to the emotional stability and compensation of male and female students, but also beneficial to the formation of college students' behavior regulation and good behavior habits, as well as to stimulate the development of college students' ability and cultivate their good personality.
The masculine beauty of men and the feminine beauty of women constitute the colorful beauty of the human world. The communication and friendship between men and women is very valuable. It is not only an important content of interpersonal communication, but also a necessary prerequisite for young people to get sincere love and happy marriage. So how to distinguish friendship and love between the opposite sex?
Japanese psychologists have put forward the following criteria for the difference between friendship and love:
Different pillars. The pillar of friendship is understanding, and the pillar of love is emotion;
different status. The status of friendship is equality, and the status of love is integration;
the system is different. Friendship is open, love is closed;
the foundation is different. Friendship is based on trust, while love is entangled with anxiety;
different moods. Friendship is full of "satisfaction" while love is full of "lack".
It can be seen that as long as the opposite sex follows certain communication rules and grasps the difference between friendship and love, a healthy friendship can be established and maintained.
2. Principles of heterosexual classmates
Today's college life provides a wide space for college students to communicate with the opposite sex. However, it is not arbitrary and irregular to communicate with the opposite sex and truly establish friendship between the opposite sex, which requires understanding some basic principles of heterosexual communication.
(1) Correct communication motivation. The communication between the opposite sex has obvious utilitarian purpose and is restricted and dominated by a strong sense of sexual instinct. But in the communication with the opposite sex, the most taboo is pragmatism, or the motivation and compulsion of sexual attack.
(2) Keep interpersonal distance. The opposite sex communication should keep a certain distance, because psychology makes people yearn, space makes people fantasize and distance makes people beautiful. The opposite sex can't be as intimate as the same sex, and can behave casually regardless of time, place and occasion. Only by keeping a distance and grasping a certain measure can the communication between the opposite sex be safe and reliable.
(3) Don't do too many solo activities. Even if you need to be alone, you should also choose a suitable public environment and place to avoid privacy and dead ends as much as possible. We must be open in communication methods and attitudes.
(4) establish a wide circle of friendship. Take part in more activities with male and female students, and associate with multiple opposite sexes, so you can get more things.
(5) The opposite sex should rationally grasp the boundary between friendship and love. When the friendship between the opposite sex has developed to a certain extent, and it is no longer intended to develop into deep feelings, both sides must say "no" in time so that the feelings will not go beyond the scope of friendship.
(3) Both parties should respect each other's right of courtship. In the process of heterosexual communication, when friendship develops to a certain extent, it may develop to a deeper level of love. If one party shows love, even if you don't agree, you can't easily hurt the other party, such as spreading it around among classmates to leaders,