As a human being, we will always experience sorrow and misfortune of one kind or another. The loss of fame and fortune, the desolation of losing all one's wealth, the pain of being separated from one's wife and children, the despair of one's family being destroyed. As Leo Tolstoy famously said in his famous book "Anna Karenina": "Happy families are all alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Over thousands of years, amidst all kinds of misfortunes, we have discovered many of their unique characteristics and made conclusions.
There are three major sorrows in life: "losing a father in youth, losing a spouse in middle age, and losing a son in old age." In fact, all sorrow and misfortune are related to loss. The joy we once had always magnifies the pain when we lose it. I personally feel that these three sorrows are slowly being questioned with the development of the times and changes in world affairs, but in a general sense they are far from outdated, but their importance is changing. The father is the pillar and support of the family. Young people do not have the ability to live independently. Losing their father may directly face a crisis of survival.
A wife is a man’s partner in taking care of the family and striving for a career. The pain of widowhood is a huge spiritual crisis. Although losing your wife means that you can only support the burden of life on your own for the time being, we have to admit that those who are dissatisfied with their marriage have more or less secretly rejoiced at the loss of their partner. In a materialistic society, there are many "Chen Shimei" who abandon their wives and children after getting rich.
From this point of view, being widowed in middle age is not a misfortune in life for everyone. The greatest happiness for a person in his later years is having children and grandchildren around his knees. The spiritual enjoyment brought by this kind of family happiness is incomparable to any material wealth. It is precisely for this reason that the great mental pain caused by the loss of a child in old age is listed as one of the three greatest sorrows in life. But there are also many unworthy descendants in the world who make this sorrow eclipse. It is not uncommon to see cases where elderly people are not supported and pushed around among brothers and sisters. The desolate evening scenes of these abandoned elderly people have made the world see clearly that not all loneliness and loss are pure misfortunes.
From the above, it can be seen that among the three major misfortunes in life, the most unquestionable one is the loss of a father when a young man. This kind of pain brings not only mental torture to those who experience it. The insurmountable physical hardship is even more physical hunger and cold. With no clothes to cover, no food to eat, no fixed place to live, and no regular food, those who grew up in loneliness and loneliness will have a more thorough understanding of human nature after reading the sad stories, and will have a more thorough understanding of wealth. His pursuit will also be intensified by facing countless threats of hunger and death. It is said that only by enduring hardship can one become a master.
This kind of suffering in boyhood is also a kind of wealth after experience. It is a penetrating summary that it is difficult to buy with money, and it is a helpless consolation that it cannot be exchanged for real money. When poverty and hardship, along with loneliness and helplessness, are all inflicted on a child, it is a rare misfortune in the world. This kind of devastation is too tragic. This is also the reason why "young man losing his father" ranks first among the three major sorrows. Since ancient times, great men have faced many hardships, while dandy men have rarely been great men. Countless great figures in history have been reborn from the ashes and moved towards the glory of life amidst such hardships. So if you only envy other people's success, you cannot understand the pain that others have experienced.