Chinese name
Crying immunity
working methods
Immune methods to deal with infant crying
Try to keep your baby taking 2-3 naps during the day. If you often cry for milk at night, it means that you have developed a bad sleep habit, which can be solved by crying immunity.
If you cry again, wait 1-2 minutes to repeat, so that the baby will be tired and feel that breastfeeding is hopeless, and will slowly fall asleep.
Use the same method the next day, but cry for 2-3 minutes and then give comfort. Repeat. As long as parents are patient, it usually takes 2-3 days, not more than 7 days.
How to treat a crying baby?
Mom, don't worry too much It's normal for children to like crying.
working methods
For children who like to cry, mothers should learn to ignore the baby's crying step by step. After the baby starts crying, it takes a while to enter the room to comfort the baby, and then the time for mothers to enter the room slowly falls back. Gradually Bob will stop crying and realize that he should sleep at bedtime.
Psychologists reveal the truth of "crying immunity method"
Truth: JANE GU, a famous pediatrician in Southern California, is actually from China, and can be found on the American Internet, with constant bad reviews.
Second, the origin of western crying immunity
"Give me a dozen healthy babies and bring them to my unique world. I can guarantee that one of them will be randomly selected and trained to be any kind of person I choose-doctor, lawyer, artist, businessman, beggar or thief, regardless of his talent, inclination, ability, occupation and ancestor's race. "
This is the famous saying of John Watson, the founder of behaviorism. At present, the core concepts such as crying immunity training, delayed gratification training, and independent and complete sleep training for infants, which are wildly spread on the Internet in China, all come from this. The utopia of behaviorists is a completely programmed, bare and emotionless world. Man is not a sacred spiritual existence, but a machine. How the environment is shaped and trained, and what kind of results will be output.
Look at how the master's own family is cultivated. John Watson published the book Psychological Care for Infants in 1928. In this book, he advocates a parenting system of behavior correction, and trains, shapes and corrects children as machines. Watson believes that children should be respected, but beyond emotional factors, so as not to develop the bad habit of relying on parents. This book has changed the way American children raise their children. A whole generation of children, including himself, grew up in this way. His sons described Watson as "unsympathetic and emotionally unable to communicate." He unconsciously deprived me and my brother of any kind of emotional foundation. "
When John Watson became famous in academic circles, his tragic eldest son Reina betrayed behaviorism and turned to psychoanalysis to become a psychoanalyst. Perhaps the emotional trauma of childhood loss was too serious for psychoanalysis to save Reina. Reina committed suicide many times and then committed suicide in his thirties. His ex-wife's two children have also been having a hard time. The daughter committed suicide many times, and the son has been wandering and living on Watson's charity. The tragedy of the Watson family who advocated and practiced the "behaviorism infant training method" also continued in the third generation: Watson's granddaughter Mary Yette remembered that her mother Mary was silent and irritable, secretly drunk and tried to commit suicide many times. Mariette is an alcoholic herself and has considered suicide many times.
The seeds of tragedy were actually planted as early as Watson's childhood. Watson's father had a bad temper and abandoned his wife and children. Watson was bullied by his classmates and was arrested twice for violence. The despair of love in childhood made John Watson devote his life to building a "programmed empire without emotion".
Crying immunity takes effect quickly, which makes mother worry and save effort. Once popular in the United States, crying for children with large immune belts later developed sleep disorders, personality disorders and even schizophrenia. After paying the price of a generation of American children's happiness, this way was finally deeply reflected and abandoned by Europe and America, and John Watson was once rated as one of the most annoying people in the United States. Mothers who have given birth in Europe and America now get advice from midwives and doctors on "intimate parenting". Intimate parenting and on-demand feeding have become the most basic knowledge in European and American countries.
Third, the real case of crying immunity
1, my colleague, a psychologist who came out of a severely traumatic childhood but kept introspection and brought out a healthy and happy child, her sister went to the other side and took care of the child with crying immunity, firmly believing that the baby was threatening herself with crying. After feeding at a fixed point, she made the baby fall asleep in tears, but her sister tried to dissuade her. In the grade of primary school, my sister's child was diagnosed with schizophrenia and was admitted to a mental hospital.
2. Comments from netizens in Weibo; "My brother is in Canada, and my neighbors are two Kochi. They believe that crying is immune and take care of their children. After they were born, they slept alone in the room, too bitter to care. The child is 6 years old and still doesn't talk. Now the child 10 years old has been diagnosed with autism since childhood. "
3, the netizen told me in private that I trained my child with crying immunity and now the child is diagnosed with autism.
4. A good mother who loves her children and insists on breastfeeding is suspected of teaching her 3-month-old son to "sleep till dawn" as soon as possible. Yesterday morning, she even had the heart to ignore her son's crying. Unexpectedly, the baby boy suffocated on the bed and died.
In the above cases, the advocates of crying immunization may speak out unfairly, thinking that crying immunization is not to say that it will not be held all the time, but that it cannot be held at once and the reaction time should be gradually extended. Mothers who often hear babies crying but don't respond in time can see that they have lost a lot of maternal instinct. With the support of "scientific theory", they believe that they are right not to respond in time. Poisoned by these terrible thoughts, the mother is becoming more and more indifferent to the baby, firmly believing that the baby is threatening herself with crying. How to avoid making the baby cry when the mood is bad? Even if you strictly follow the principle of delaying for 5 minutes for the first time and gradually lengthening later, it will be a devastating blow to the personality foundation of children throughout their lives.
Interpretation of Intimate Parenting from the Perspective of Professional Psychology
After the baby is born, it feels like one with its mother. Maybe the mother just held the watch for five minutes to respond to the crying baby. The baby's whole world has begun to collapse and suffer from hell.
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The child was in a "normal autistic period" two months before birth. During this period, the children did not respond much to the outside world, basically eating and sleeping. Because at this time, in the child's feeling, the world and oneself are one, just like still in the womb, there is no "external mother". The mother's active care and companionship maintain the child's "all-round narcissism", that is, heaven and earth are one and I can do anything.
In the "baby-centered" mother-child relationship, the baby smiles independently, arousing the joy of the mother and smiling at the baby from the heart; When the baby cries in the middle of the night, even in another room, the mother will wake up at the same time and rush to comfort the baby. The mother takes the baby's feelings as the center, resonates with the baby and gives positive response and attention. Children who grow up in this way will become "self-fulfilling" people psychologically. They will be passionate and creative about life from the depths of their souls, be friendly to others and firmly defend themselves. According to Indian yoga, people with more open heart chakras naturally have this reaction ability. If the mother gets less love, pays more attention to her mind and has weak telepathic ability, especially when the mind is still occupied by behaviorism infant training method, it is easier to follow dogma than mind.
After the child's all-round narcissism is fully satisfied, his mind naturally develops and gradually isolates himself from the outside world, not only paying attention to himself, but also beginning to pay attention to others. When love fills in, it will naturally flow to the outside world, which is the so-called "dichotomy between subject and object". After completing this differentiation, the baby will have a basic trust in the world, and will not want to destroy everything when encountering setbacks in the future. The most serious mental illness, such as serial killer and schizophrenia, has the psychological basis of all-round narcissism and serious injury.
Behavioral infant training methods such as crying immunity have destroyed the child's all-round narcissism. The child was surprised to find that "the world is not as beautiful as I imagined. When I cried, I didn't fucking respond to me in time!" Maybe the mother just looked at the watch for five minutes, and in the feeling that the baby has not formed the logical space thinking ability, the whole world began to break, and the hellish suffering seems endless.
Weibo of some netizens replied:
"When I was a child, I was often haunted by terrible nightmares. These dreams are absurd and have no content. Most of them are like a bottomless pit that keeps spinning or strange lines that hover like snakes. I always wake up crying in fear, only to find myself lying alone on the sofa bed, crying for a long time but still nobody cares. My parents have never really been with me. I don't know if this is one of the reasons why I always feel insecure when I grow up and my contact with my parents is broken. "
"Before the baby cries, I sometimes, occasionally, not often, deliberately ignore it, and I will be vaguely happy to hear her cry. Later, I learned that I was often ignored when I was a child. I was once left on the road in the village and cried for a day. After understanding this, I will never ignore the baby's crying again, nor will I feel happy. "
In the suffering of not getting a response, the baby will accumulate great fear and anger. In childhood, there may be some small setbacks, which will make children unreasonable, punch and kick their parents, and be unreasonable like crazy people; Sometimes in the face of something that is not dangerous at all, I will have a panic attack and I am so scared that I can't wait to hide in the womb. Unlike normal children, they may be a little afraid of new things, but they are still full of curiosity to explore.
After I criticized the crying immunization method on Sina Weibo, the comments of netizens once again shocked me how harmful this method is. Many mothers report that after using the crying immunization method, the happiness on the baby's face is less and less, and they don't like to laugh or look at people, preferring to play by themselves. As expected, he is "good". One of them is particularly vomiting blood. My mother breast-feeds at a fixed point and seldom holds a baby. Now 2 years old, she is very "good" and seldom cries. Moreover, as soon as the adults talked about him, she stopped crying, her feet were scratched, and bloody footprints were everywhere, but she didn't cry or hurt. More than 2 years old, just like a "zombie", this child is very likely to get schizophrenia or serious personality disorder in the future.
If a mother longs for a quiet "good baby", she only needs to eat and drink Lazar, and besides, any "unreasonable trouble" is unwilling to pay attention or even attack. Children can only take the initiative to weaken their own life energy, leaving only a little bit to linger, no longer shouting at the world, and become a sad walking corpse. People who live in special houses are likely to weaken their life energy because their desires are not seen, so that they can no longer interact with others and become a "good person" who does not cause trouble and does everything by himself. The crowd is like an island, which is the ultimate sorrow.
Cry for five nights because the child needs you.
Some experts say that children often wake up at night will affect brain development. It is recommended to abstain from night milk and train a complete sleep. If you let your baby cry, it will really put him to sleep, and his brain will continue to develop, but it will only develop neural circuits of "persecution delusion" and "paranoid division", which will lay the foundation for serious personality disorder.