2. You should choose the sweat on your eyebrows or the tears under your eyebrows.

Thought is like underwear, you should have it, but you can't prove that everyone has it.

4. Why are you sitting there, looking like an envelope without an address?

A gentleman takes revenge for ten years, but a villain takes revenge all day long.

6. I was going to thin into a lightning bolt this year to light up your eyes, but I didn't want to become a nut wall and block your sight.

7. White plus white is black, because double negation is affirmation.

My feelings for you are like Lei Feng's pity for the poor.

9. Loneliness means that when someone is talking, no one is listening, and when someone is listening, you have nothing to say!

10. What is more troublesome than meeting a bitch is meeting two bitches at the same time.

1 1. I want to condense my life into a joke.

12. If you can't tell your tutor clearly, confuse him!

13. You are not Huang Rong, you are just a locust. Why do you want jing elder brother? You are shameless.

14. It is the most basic responsibility and obligation of men to turn girls into women.

15. Women don't care about decency, decency is because they are not tempted enough, men don't care about loyalty, and loyalty is because the chips of betrayal are too low.

16. You, you, you little leprechaun, poisoned me with your love poison but refused to give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh, I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

17. Love that does not feel pain is not true love, and marriage that does not feel happiness must be a sad marriage.

18. Wearing Hengyuanxiang's sweater, carrying a gift box of melatonin, holding three refined calcium gluconate in hand and Taiji chicken juice syrup in hand is a performance art that many people go to.

19. When I grow up, I will marry Tang Priest as my husband. If I can play, I will play. If I can't, I will eat him.

20. Don't read what you shouldn't, don't say what you shouldn't say, don't listen to what you shouldn't hear, and don't think about what you should do.

2 1. Don't talk to me about feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money.

22. Love sometimes feels like being drunk. Clear-headed, but out of control.

23. Don't say forever, don't say forever. Who can promise the future? All we can grasp is the local feelings at that time. But life is made up of countless now, and every moment is forever.

24. Study hard for China! A pack of China cigarettes is a lot of money!

25. In a harmonious campus, cyclists may be doctors, and Mercedes-Benz drivers may be logistics personnel.

26. In fact, a person is a corpse when he is alive, and a pile of ashes when he dies.

27. My heart for you is harder than a diamond. . . . . . It's not a heart-shaped stone, is it?

28. When you lose your mind, it's as amazing as a pig climbing a tree.

29. It is said that there is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits! I went to see it the next day and threw up! On the third day, you went to the monkey and threw up!

30. Life is like a pile of rubbish. If you throw it into the fire, you can make a fine product by beating it!

3 1. Perfect boyfriend: no smoking, no drinking, no cheating. Does not exist!

32. I am as clever as usual. I don't like you on the whole!

33. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisement in taxi: gambling? Take the subway! Shit, you're kidding me or something!

34. Do you know why Gao gets drunk? That's because Yao Jiaxin wants him to sing a song about you in prison.

35. Today is MM's birthday. In order to be the first to send my blessing, I picked up my mobile phone on time early in the morning and sent a message: sofa.

36. Relying on mountains to eat mountains, relying on water to draft, grabbing today, not giving, who wants to resist, let him go to hell.

37. Yesterday is history, today is the beginning, and tomorrow is hard for everyone!

38. Recently, Shenma began to turn into a donkey's leg, and the cloud turned into rain!

I only looked back, but I didn't care how long the road ahead was.

40. Without a strong owner, don't think you can bite just because you are a dog!

4 1. You will be tired if you have a heart, but it doesn't matter if you don't.

42. The highest state of being a man is not that you pick up girls, but that girls pick up girls.

43. How big a body do you have to be to support your dirty soul!

You can't eat as a meal, but I can't eat without you.

45. If life deceives me, I will also deceive life.

46. You embarrassed me, and I didn't even give you a chance to go on stage.

You live in my heart. Have you paid the rent?

48. The PE teacher said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class will be punished for handstand!

49. The most embarrassing thing is to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to register with my girlfriend. The staff is actually an ex-girlfriend.

If you don't like me, I will castrate you and be my sister.

5 1. I stood in your city hall and shouted: ouch! How deep!

52. The third person is not the later one, but the one who doesn't love deeply.

53. The most depressing thing in the world is stepping on your own poop.

54. Wear other people's shoes and take other people's roads, so that others can neither find shoes nor find their way.

55. I am not the Mona Lisa, and I will not smile at everyone.

56. Men say they like you, but in fact they just like your body.

There are thousands of men in the world, so it is really impossible to change them every day.

58. Matador, VIP among bitches.

Chopin, if you can bring out the sadness of labor and capital, labor and capital will give you a dollar.

60. Most of us who are alive have only done three things in our lives: deceiving ourselves, deceiving others and being deceived.

6 1. I am not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but I am afraid to open the lid and have another bottle.

62. If you were a flower, the cow wouldn't shit.

63. As soon as you went out to Baishan, there were no birds, and thousands of people died.

64. Women are like clothes, but big sister is a kind of temperament that you can't wear.

65. For the sake of the next generation of the motherland, no matter how ugly you are, you must fall in love. When the world is full of love.

66. I'm going to get a haircut. I turned my head in the sea.

67. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over.

68. Brushing your teeth is a bittersweet thing, with a cup in one hand and toiletries in the other.

69. It was noon on weeding day, so it was really difficult to go to school. I entered the school and stood all afternoon.

70. I am proud of my flat chest, and I save cloth for my country.

7 1. Sleeping on the printer can print out dreams all night, right?

72. Fasten your seat belt. There may be a love waiting for you ahead.

73. Xiaoming: Dad, am I a stupid child? Dad: Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?

74. Life is like a journey, what matters is not the destination. But NB along the way, the mood when dealing with NB!

75. Stand on the shore of the years and be a Shui Piao for your past.

Sometimes it rains because the world needs washing, and sometimes it rains because the heart needs washing!

77. I am poor, please don't rob the tomb!

78. Don't think that just because you are younger than me, you can scamper for a few more days. The coffin is filled with dead people, not old people!

79. Famous saying, you have to be a celebrity first. That's a famous saying. Other people's farts are famous farts! Can you compare it?

80. I am a civilized person, and all the swearing words have been disinfected with saliva.

8 1. If I die, my first sentence is: I finally don't have to be afraid of ghosts.

82. I have done two things wrong in my life, one is to live and the other is to live.

Don't pose in front of me, I'm afraid I can't help but want to drop my camera.

84. Break up with you because you don't deserve to hold hands!

85. One day, San Xiao cried because San Xiao appeared!

86. How much cosmetics can you save by losing a small face?

87. Taking the RMB road leaves people with no choice!

88. Breaking up is boring. Play divorce if you can!

89. Guinness Book of Records: The world's largest coffee table covers an area of 9.6 million square kilometers and can hold 654.38+03 billion cups.

90. To love yourself, you must be selfish first. Only selfishness can love deeply.

9 1. Some people always sell what they have in exchange for what they don't have.

92. When I was at school, it was just that money to muddle along, and now I have to muddle along!

93. Doing well in the exam depends on sitting at the same table.

94. I despise those who often chat with expressions.

95. Take your hand and drag the child away. If you don't go, you will continue to drag on!

96. Since suffering from mental illness, the whole person has been much more energetic.

97. I have no time to hate those who hate me, because I am busy loving those who love me.

98. Don't be defiled by love for such a pure thing as sex.

99. If you want to say something, you will naturally say it. If you don't want to tell, all you hear is lies.

100. Because I'm not afraid of anything and I can't lose anything.

The funniest classic sentence about the funniest classic sentence

A selection of the funniest classic sentences

1) The land of feng shui is not filled with mountains and water, but buried with you.

2) Fifty cents and fifty cents are the happiest, because they make up a piece.

3) I am fat when I want to lose weight, but my wallet that wants to gain weight is getting thinner.

4) I have been running in the field of hope, and it is inevitable that I will not stumble over the stone of disappointment.

5) In the past, when we were talking about friends, we would ask others if they had any friends. Now you have to ask others if they are gay.

6) Why is there a moon on Bao Qingtian's forehead? Because he doesn't understand my darkness during the day.

7) Why do crabs walk sideways with pliers? They are willful!

8) Don't challenge my patience with your temper, or you will die beautifully.

9) Hello, the number you dialed has passed away, please redial in your next life.

10) Apple is the real leader of fruit industry. One seduced Eve, one awakened Newton, one became a mobile phone brand, and the other dominated the square dance.

Complete works of the funniest classic sentences

1) If she dares to steal money today, she will dare to steal someone tomorrow, with one-stop operation.

2) How do you know what tastes best if you don't miss some crooked melons and cracked dates?

3) Don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

4) You never know how ugly you are unless you confess, and you never know how bad your character is unless you borrow money.

5) Jealousy is a knife, either inserted in others or in yourself.

6) Actually, I don't like loneliness at all. Why do you always come to me?

7) Sad people love to drink, while lonely people love to sing old songs.

8) I have been teaching others how to sell goods all my life, but no one has taught me how to die.

9) Jokes can be divided into cold jokes and hot jokes. Who doesn't know humor?

10) Love usually means abandoning a fool and asking for a liar.

1 1) My girlfriend is dating another man behind my back. Oh, your girlfriend is really strong.

12) this man doesn't know much about music, so sometimes he is unreliable and sometimes he is out of tune.

13) never became an excellent college student, relying on strong quality!

14) In those years, the math teacher patted the blackboard and shouted: Probably? Do you want to make an appointment?

15) I didn't like you at first, and then I didn't like you even more.

16) putting down the butcher knife means that the other party will split you in two at the moment you put down the butcher knife.

17) brushing your teeth is a bittersweet thing. Cup in one hand and washing utensils in the other.

18) Sleeping after midnight is equal to chronic suicide, skipping breakfast is equal to chronic suicide, frequent barbecue is equal to chronic suicide, turning on the mobile phone for several hours is equal to chronic suicide, staying indoors for a long time is equal to chronic suicide, complaining too much is equal to chronic suicide, and lack of exercise is equal to chronic suicide. I suddenly found out that I did nothing all day and fucking committed suicide!

19) at night 10, my wife on a business trip called. The following is the dialogue! Daughter-in-law: Where are you? Me: At home! Daughter-in-law: Really at home? Didn't go out fooling around? Me: Are you sick again? I'm not at home. Where is it? Daughter-in-law: Well, go to the door in the middle of the refrigerator and see what's in the third compartment. I went to have a look and there was a photo of us. Tell her. Daughter-in-law: Yes. Then you are at home, go to bed early!

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

2 1) Being in a daze is called deep if it is done well. If you can't do it well, you are likely to fall asleep.

22) In the hospital, the doctor told her husband that there was nothing serious wrong with your wife's health. Follow her a little when you get home, try not to quarrel with her, and try to satisfy her if you have any requirements. It's best to take her out for a trip twice a year to make her happy and recover soon. Husband came home and said to his wife: wife, the doctor said that you have no cure for this disease.

23) I always feel that a bed that is too neatly paved will mean a little to spend my old age. Well, it's still messy and energetic.

24) I prayed to Jesus to give me a stable and stable life. He thought for a moment and said, let's talk about world peace first.

25) I asked him: Husband, do you think I am ugly? I thought my husband would say: the baby is not ugly at all. As a result, I dropped two words: not too much.

26) The full text of the primary school student's composition "Tangle" is as follows: I broke up with Duan Wuji and am now waiting for Zhong Qiujie, but in fact I like Fang Shujia very much and miss her very much. But her sister Fang is more beautiful, and I like her better. But my heart has always loved walking on snow, and how much I want to be with her forever ~ of course, her sister is still working.

27) The unfairness of this world lies in: God said: I want light! So there was this day. The beauty said: I want a diamond ring! So she bought a diamond ring. The rich man said: I want a woman! So he had a woman. I said: I want to take a shower! I can't believe the water was cut off.

28) Teacher, just follow the old lady! It's been a long time, teacher, please spare the old woman!

29) If you ask your friends around you, if nine out of ten people say they don't know, then this is an opportunity. If ten people and nine people know it, it is an industry.

30) I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't say so much as you like.

3 1) Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love.

32) Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!

33) When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

34) Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art!

If you fish, people will eat you.

36) Teachers should be careful when their moral standards are not awake when they are particularly sleepy.

37) Today, I saw an old woman fall on the street. I ran to help her up. As a result, she seems to fall down again. I thought I was going to blackmail me. I decisively fell to the ground first, twitching and foaming at the mouth. The old woman froze, and I squirmed while twitching, about two meters away. I got up and patted the dust and left. The old woman was still in a daze.

38) People have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

39) Never say forever, who can promise the future? All we can grasp is the local feelings at that time. But life is made up of countless now, and every moment is forever.

40) When dealing with people, listen more and talk less. That's why God gave us a mouth and two ears.

The most classic funny sentences about the most classic funny sentences

A selection of the most classic funny sentences

1) My name is God, my name is Jesus, my English name is God and my dharma number is Tathagata.

2) On the way to kill the dragon, I swam across the river, climbed to the top of the tower and kissed your princess.

3) Take off my clothes, I am an animal. Put on my clothes, I am the devil wears Prada!

4) The story of Meng Mu's three moves actually shows that she has a good son. If I were you, it would be useless to move it a hundred times!

5) The only difference between a marriage certificate and a production license is that it is not hung on the wall.

6) I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!

7) The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet in, but you know everything when you go out.

8) My ID card is fake. Don't believe that I am a liar.

9) My buddy and his girlfriend have been busy with production every day since they got the production license.

10) I thought about having a holiday every day when I was at school, but now I have a holiday completely and want to go to school again!

The most classic encyclopedia of funny sentences

1, women's wrinkles are called old, and men's wrinkles are called vicissitudes.

2. I have lived for more than 20 years without doing anything for the country and the people. It hurts every time I think about it.

3, the head is big, the neck is thick, and the action is stupid like a pig!

4, alive, just to leap in embarrassment.

5. What is your vital capacity? You can blow cow B so big.

6. Confucius said: In a threesome, there must be my wife. Choose a beautiful one to marry.

7. Actually, I have never left the Jianghu. I just dive in the Jianghu for a long time.

8. There is a heart hidden under the appearance of Niu Bi.

9, the season of black silk flooding, let us have these thick legs?

10, you are dressed dangerously, but you look safe.

1 1, just know what you are.

12, romance can never be valued, otherwise I would have been worth millions.

13, you are very kind, especially when you are sad.

14, when will there be a bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

15, your serious appearance can't hide your man's heart!

16, rival in love fell into the water and we had to pee.

17. When there is only one drop of blood left in your depravity, call Brother Sanxin back to life.

18, the three things I fear most in my life, the first fear of death, the second fear of illness, and the third fear of dying if I get sick.

19, I'd rather have a prince riding a pig than a prince riding a white horse.

20. I believe that it is a pity that Raytheon can't touch you when you go out in the rain.

2 1, the reason why you can't hold sand is because you choose a sieve for flour, which is too thin. I can stand you because I used a net to catch big fish and let all the small fish slip by.

22. Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk without eating.

23. Get up every morning and watch Forbes Rich List. If my name is not on it, I will go to work.

24. The most romantic thing I can think of is watching you grow old alone.

25. Youth is like toilet paper. You can read a lot, but you can't use it enough.

26. There are always a few grandfathers every month. His face changed from red to green, from green to yellow, to blue, to purple, to green, and finally he left me.

27. Your new love is someone else's whore.

28. There are many beautiful women in Jiangshan, and countless mistresses have made coquetry.

29. Niu B is an ordinary person and Niu Organ is a scholar.

30. You are gold and I am coal. You will shine, and I will get hot. Don't mess with me, or I will melt you.

3 1, when philanderer meets easy virtue, it will be a heavyweight showdown in a sexual storm.

When my mother became a swan, you were still an egg.

The alarm clock only woke up my body, but it couldn't wake up my sleeping heart.

34. Take out your complaints and bask in the sun every day, and you won't be short of calcium.

35. How are you doing now? If you have a bad life, I will feel at ease.

36. You, you, you, you, you push me again, and I will feed you Sanlu.

Judging from the way he eats, it is hard to believe that mankind will become extinct one day.

38. Cow dung is cow dung. No matter how fragrant you are, flowers will not be inserted in you, because that will insult the aesthetic feeling.

39, people don't YY waste teenagers! No, the cat is not feeling well!

40. I waited for a long time to hear from you, and all I got was a haha. You treat me like a fucking joke.

Classic funny sentences about the beginning of school

1. The pain of learning is temporary, and the pain of not learning is lifelong.

2. No hardship, no gain.

People who invest in the future are loyal to reality.

Don't put off today until tomorrow.

Take a nap now, and you will have a dream; And study at this moment, and you will realize your dream.

6. Learning this thing is not a lack of time, but a lack of effort.

7. Happiness does not necessarily rank second, and success must rank second.

8. Learning is not the whole of life. But since you can't conquer a part of life, what can you do?

9. Please enjoy the inevitable pain.

10. Only by working harder than others can we taste the taste of success.

Even now, opponents have been turning pages.

Time is running out. Classic funny sentences about the beginning of school

13. The saliva that flows now will become the tears of tomorrow.

14. Learn like a dog and play like a gentleman.

15. Don't walk today, but run tomorrow.

16. When it is too late, it is the earliest time.

Education level represents income.

18. After a day, I won't come again.

19. Today, which I neglected, is the tomorrow that people who died yesterday prayed for.

No one can succeed casually, it comes from thorough self-management and perseverance.