Guo: There are a lot of people here today. Yu: It’s full. Guo: Even the empty seats are full. Yu: Is there any other way to calculate it? Guo: It takes a lot of time for everyone today. Some people are on the road. There are also traffic restrictions (traffic restrictions in Beijing during the National Day, and the subway has been out of service very early)

Yu: Yes. Guo: Let’s say more (it’s not good to shout in the audience...) Guo: One by one, you want to say Don't be afraid, I'm even less afraid. Don't make noises. You are all people with ID cards. Many people came today, thousands of people. Yu: Many people. Guo: Some came with families. Yu: Yes. Guo: Some came with children. Yu: Yes, we are a family!

Guo: Some came with their wives... Some came with other people’s wives. Yu: You can tell. Guo: Look at the show of hands. Who came with other people’s wives? Yu: There are actually people raising their hands! ...is risking one's life? Guo: Like Mrs. Qian? Yu: Who? My wife went to the theater...

Guo: Went to the theater with others... No matter who you bring, I hope you are happy. Some people said, Brother Qian, Brother Qian was not angry at all: Hi , in this industry, there is no need to do anything inappropriate. Guo: During the filming, Brother Qian came on stage to perform, and it was normal for actors and actresses to interact with each other because of work. Anyway, over the years, watching their relationship, they sometimes quarreled over these things. Yu: No. Guo Guo: My sister-in-law asked... There is no airtight trousers in the world. Yu: Drink, you always wear open pants, right?

Guo: There is no airtight trousers in the world. Yu: Wall! Guo: My sister-in-law also asked, "What's going on? When I looked at the photos that day, there was a photo of me and the actress taking a photo together. What's going on?" Yu: What's the matter? Guo: Hey, it's just a joke! Yu: Yes Guo: My sister-in-law was so happy when she acted on the spot, "This is a TV series!" Yu: Am I always like this? Guo: Anyway, no matter what my sister-in-law said, Brother Qian was not in a hurry. Yu: That's right. Guo: I never glared, never made a face, or moved my hands.

Yu: This is called Lianxiangxiyu. Guo: Which bathhouse? Yu: What are you doing in the bathhouse? Guo: Did you say bathing in lotus fragrance? Yu: Why did you go to this place? Guo: Did you say bathing in lotus fragrance? Yu: Lianxiang cherishes jade. Guo: Lianxiang cherishes jade. Ah, everyone hopes to have a good family, and everyone hopes to find a suitable one for themselves. A partner, but it’s hard to find. Yu: It’s hard to find. Guo: Let’s take women as an example. Pretty ones can’t be used in the kitchen. Yu: Hmm. Guo: Those who work in the kitchen are not fashionable.

Yu: Yeah. Guo: The fashionable one spends money indiscriminately Yu: Hmm Guo: The one who doesn’t spend money is unfeminine Yu: Hmm Guo: The feminine one can’t stand it Yu: Hmm Guo: The one who can see it can’t stand it Yu: Cough, Not good at all Guo: Everyone hopes to have a happy marriage. How many poems have been written about this theme from ancient times to the present: Are there many? Guo: Alas, Guan Guan Jujiu, in the island of the river, a graceful lady, a gentleman is so jealous: This is the famous Duan Guo: I live at the head of the Yangtze River, and you live at the end of the Yangtze River, (This seems to be the sketch in Pan Changjiang's "Crossing the River" The sentence in it was changed. No. I couldn’t hear it clearly. Is there a boat?

Yu: No! What is this? This is Guo: I remember ancient poets wrote a lot of this stuff. Yu: This is not among the ancient poems. Guo: Actually, I also hope to have a good marriage. Yu: You Guo: There is one in front of me. It's a very good painting, a particularly happy oil painting. The sky is clear, the water is green, the birds are singing, the flowers are fragrant, the creek is gurgling, the forest is green, and a few seagulls fly by the river... Yu: Just wait a moment... by the river Are there any seagulls? Guo: The seaside, a few river gulls flew by the seaside...

Yu: Don’t talk to me anymore. Guo: Anyway, a few birds flew by. Yu: That’s okay. Guo: The tree-lined path On the road, the princess and the prince walked slowly hand in hand, followed by a white horse, grazing and strolling leisurely, while the prince sang softly. Yu: What are you singing? Guo: "The diesel oil I drilled came out of the well...

(It should be a song sung by oil workers when they are extracting oil)

Yu: Okay, you better go to work Guo: Sesame oil? Yu: What about diesel? Guo: Diesel sesame oil? Yu: Oil! ...There is no Guo who sings this: Prince of Oil, Yu from Saudi Arabia: Guo: Whenever I meet anyone there, I sing "Our motherland is a garden, the flowers in the garden are so bright, the sunshine of the Netherlands shines on us..."

Yu: He doesn’t even know the words. Guo: The words are so good. The Dutch sun shines on his face, but the American sun doesn’t shine on his face. Yu: Guo: Everything is just like a fairy tale, the prince. He and the princess began a life without shame. . .

Yu: A life without shame. Guo: This is a fantasy of mine. I also had a girlfriend back then. Yu: I also had a girlfriend. Guo: Her name is "Shuang". Although I don't know what her last name is, anyway, her name is " "It's so cool"... Whenever I go to their house to look for her, I stand downstairs and shout, "It's so cool!" Yu: People don’t know what you are doing. Guo: Call her by her name. Yu: Is this calling her by name? This is Guo: She is gentle, elegant, and very cute. She works as Miss Guan Gong in a sales office

Yu: Don’t ask, your girlfriend is so red-faced, what is Miss Guan Gong? Guo: What is that, anyway, Miss Guan Gong. Yu: The public relations lady is called Guo: Almost, almost... When we have nothing to do, the two of us sit together. We chatted together, played Go, and drank tea at: Guo: Now I think about what it was called back then (didn’t hear it clearly). We burned a pot of incense in the room, and we sat across from each other at: Too particular. Guo: Opened a can Good quality Tieguanyin, sit in the water, pour it with boiling water, pour out the first brew (four sounds), the water for making tea cannot be drunk: It’s Guo: Let’s drink from the second brew (one sound)...drink it Tea after tea...

Yu: How stinky you two are. Guo: Drink after tea...you have never drank tea, right? Yu: I have, but it doesn’t taste like yours. Guo: You have to look at the color. Yu: How fresh it is. Guo: It was very yellow at first, but then it stopped. Yu: That’s because I got angry. That’s... I drank it again and again, making tea. Guo: I didn’t expect you had it. Such a low pursuit, one after another (four sounds) Yu: Stop nagging about this matter Guo: I take great care of her Yu: Yes Guo: She also mentioned this Yu: Really ?

Guo: She said to me affectionately: "You are so good to me. In the next life, I will work as a cow or a horse, and I will give you something to eat." Yu: (did not hear clearly) Guo : Am I a cow or a horse? Yu: Isn’t that still two? Guo: The good times later passed, and we often quarreled

Yu: We also fought. Guo: The quarrel was very fierce. She accused me of "you are callous and unreasonable." I said, "you are callous and unreasonable." You Who are you calling me callous, ruthless and vexatious? I say you are callous, ruthless and vexatious. You are callous, ruthless and vexatious. I am not callous, ruthless and vexatious. To say that I am callous, ruthless and vexatious is not as good as yours. I am not callous, ruthless and vexatious at all. To talk about being callous, ruthless and vexatious, , which means you are ruthless and unreasonable...

Yu: Which crosstalk woman did you marry? Guo: After the quarrel, we broke up. Yu: That was Guo: She left me a note, "Don't look for me again, I'm dead." Yu: Dead... Guo: She said she broke up with her. At that time, I I was so stupid, there was a bolt from the blue, and the sound of pants was heard: the sound of pants? The sound of pants sounds like something right? Guo: Those people all said, "Ah, what, the sound of pants?" Yu: There is no Zouerhuayin in this place, you know, a kū chā sound... a kū chā sound doesn't sound like anything!

Guo: Don’t mess with me. Yu: Who messes with you? Guo: This is lyrical. Yu: What kind of emotion are you expressing? It makes me cry. Du Guo: My beloved Shuang, she died. Now, I went to the community to look for her again. Yu: I also looked for Guo: I stood downstairs with tears in my eyes and shouted, "It feels so good, it feels so good..." More people were watching. Yu: It's so new, it's a different stage. This is Guo: This stinking gangster... I feel uncomfortable. Anyone who has made mistakes knows this. Yu: People who have made mistakes? Guo: Are you confused? Yu: Lost in love! Guo: Oh, lovelorn? I felt very sad. I gritted my teeth and never looked for a girlfriend from now on. Yu: Oh. Guo: Later, many people tried to persuade me. I said, don’t persuade me. My heart is dead and time has passed. Ran, as time goes by, maybe time is the best medicine. I began to think that I would never fall in love again. Yu: Huh? Guo: Day by day passed, and on the third day I figured it out. Yu: I just stayed silent for three days.

Guo: I didn’t find the right person for the first three days. Yu: I didn’t take my feelings into my heart at all. Guo: Alas, When I walked into the community, I accidentally looked up and saw a girl waving to me: Say hello... I met the right one.

Guo: I didn’t know until later... She was cleaning windows. Yu: Cough! Don't look at what's in your hand

I closed the towel and looked at my hands. Guo: Suddenly I felt that my spring has come again. Yu: Oh... Guo: I was waiting for her at the gate of the community. Finally I saw her, curling and graceful, unparalleled in beauty. Yu: Good-looking. Guo: I walked over in a gentlemanly manner and stretched my legs... bang, I fell over there and said: Oops! A gentleman still does this? Guo: He stretched out his hand to help her, "Don't be nervous, I'm not a good person"... I said it wrong. Yu: Nonsense, you told the truth. Guo: She stood up and walked away. Yu: Ignore you. Guo : Looking at her back, I was stunned. She was so beautiful. Yu: Oh? Guo: Such a beautiful woman is rare in the world. She looks like a fairy, looks like a fairy, has a plain mouth, and has a handsome waist. The wind and moon can tell. She is like a flower and like a jade, so she is overwhelmed by Song Chanjuan. But when she thinks that this is not a peach banquet, why did Chang'e leave Guanghan in the moon? She is like picking tangerines on Nanshan Mountain. Gillian girl, I am like Edison Chen... Yu: What are you doing! Singing and singing, these two people came out again. Guo: I am determined to pursue her. Yu: I want to pursue her. Guo: It is in a community, so it is very convenient to chase her. As soon as she left the community, she bought a newspaper, and so did I! "What a coincidence, you are also buying a newspaper." Yu: Ignore you. Guo: Let's go... Waiting at the bus stop at the door. "What a coincidence, you are also waiting for the bus."... The supermarket across the door, I also met "What a coincidence, you are also visiting the supermarket." Yu: Hey Guo: I came out of the bathroom to wash my hands, "What a coincidence, you also peed on your hands?" Yu: If she really peed on her hands, would you still chase her? Guo: Why are you so rude to others? You know how central you are! Yu: Is it so close? Guo: The girl stood there and asked me, "What are you going to do?" Yu: You made it clear. Guo: "I like you very much. If you think there is something wrong with me, I will change it." The girl nodded, "What do you think is good about me? I changed..." Yu: There is no drama at all. Guo: I failed again. When I was in a very good mood, someone introduced me to a girlfriend. Yu: I made a date. Guo: We made an appointment to meet outside. The weather was very good and the wooden pages were exhausted. Take off, the west wind is blowing, the wild geese flying from the north to the south, it is already late autumn. Yu: It's cold. Guo: The two of us sat on a big bench in the park. I took a closer look at her. She is about 1.4 meters tall. She is a good match for her. Guo: Xiao My face is purple.

Yu: Is it purple? Guo: She has freckles on her face. I wonder if she is an endorser for LV. Her appearance has exceeded people’s imagination. This woman is so recognisable. She has a very post-modern style. She must have the blood of Transformers. I was stunned for a long time. Yu: Oh Guo: She took the initiative to break the deadlock with "Hello", I looked at her Yu: Uh-huh Guo: Are you "the monkey's rescuer"? Yu: (did not hear clearly) Guo: The girl said that my online name is "Rejection"... Oh, I didn't expect that my name is so different from my own. My online name is "Rejection", which shows that I am very noble. Yu: Rejection Guo: Why do I have such a name? A screen name? , I think it’s better to call it rejection, and adding the radical makes it more subtle. Yu: What about removing the radical? Guo: Juse...ah, haha...so easy-going. . Don't look at me because I'm fat, I have a thin waist, don't look at me because I look ugly, my nickname is Mei.

Li, how much do you weigh, girl? Two hundred and six... Later I realized that I had been fooled. Yu: What's wrong? Guo: The scale reached two hundred and sixty kilograms Yu: Hit it on the head Guo: I sincerely admire, girl, you are such a man Yu: What are you talking about? Guo: She was happy, and took out the razor from her pocket... Yu : I'm so scared because of the rash. Guo: Can't you? I took a nude photo two days ago and posted it on the Internet: You? How is it? Guo: I didn’t expect the post to sink in. Yu: Okay, no one wants my bare butt. Guo: How can I talk! She is a leap girl... Yu: I have never heard of a leap girl carrying a razor. Guo: He took out a pack of cigarettes and blew out a smoke ring... To be honest, I have never seen such good cigarettes in so many years. Circle, big and round... One more, one more... I like to see this, so good (vomiting, convulsing violently). The vomit was all over the floor and I didn't dare to say a word. She also stayed here. , someone came over, drew a circle on her face, and wrote the word "split". Yu: Okay, I really can't look at this. Guo: I think they are a bit too much. I was very angry after seeing it. She was very grateful. He gently fell on my shoulder, and a photographer came over and took a photo, which was later named "The Love Between Humans and Ghosts." Yu: Oh, how shabby this person is. Guo: This photo was sent abroad, Saddam Hussein After praising him, Yu: Is Saddam so emotional? Guo: After sitting there for a long time, he still had nothing to say. He asked me, "Are you hungry? Let's go eat." I said, "No, I have a bad stomach. I dreamed of eating noodles yesterday and found that my shoelaces were gone in the morning."

Yu: Is this a dream? This is not a night tour! Guo: I'm not hungry... Let's go to eat. He took me and left. We walked hand in hand. A friend came from the opposite side and looked at me and was very happy. "New Tibetan Mastiff?" Yu: Okay, Guo, who looks like a dog: It's too disturbing... I found a restaurant and was about to enter. The waiter stopped me, "Sir, we don't allow pets here." I said, take a closer look. Take a closer look at this... Come in. , sitting across from each other, very emotional, ordered a vinegar peanut, a fried red fruit, each of us had a glass of apple cider vinegar Yu: Eat this Guo: I am jealous Yu: Look at what she is looking at Guo: Eat After a while, she suddenly asked, "You have to marry me, how can we get married?" I was so stupid at that time that I was sweating. I said, don't joke, I may not be suitable for you, it's okay, I can accept you. , think about it, if I follow you, how much educational significance will this have? I will not give up my life. I understand what he said. If I marry her, it will be like donating to the Red Cross. :ah? Guo: It’s like renovating the Great Wall, it’s like apologizing for the hidden secrets. Yu: Hey, okay. Guo: I say no! If I don’t go to hell, who wants to go to the water? She was also anxious and slapped the table, "If you don't marry me, I will find someone to marry here!" The restaurant owner came over and said, "You shouldn't be doing this. All your customers have run away?" Yu: Are you afraid of marrying me? She Guo: I told you to leave and I won’t leave. You’ll pay me for the loss of my youth! Yu: That’s what I said. Guo: Let me tell you, how much can you lose on this day?

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Please set a price, one thousand yuan! Yu: Not much Guo: I'm really anxious. If the tiger doesn't send the cat away, do you think I'm critically ill? Yu: You're going to die. This is Guo: I'm so angry that I can't speak. How could you do this? Let's negotiate a price. She said it's okay. When I looked outside the window, I said okay. Let's listen to Yu Qian's words. Yu: : I am outside Guo: There is a statue of Teacher Yu outside. Teacher Yu has many viewers and fans who like Teacher Yu. I made many statues for Teacher Yu. I wear a suit with my hair combed back, and the back of my hand is here. I say hello to the audience... all. Look at Teacher Yu’s hand, let’s give it five hundred, okay? Yu: Does this mean five hundred? This is a greeting. Guo: You said one thousand, I'll give you five hundred. What's the matter? The price of pork has increased. You'll give me five hundred. I said the pork is still edible. Do you think it's worth using? Well, tomorrow. Tomorrow, at ten o'clock tomorrow morning, go to the statue of Teacher Yu and give the money. Yu: Well, give the money. Guo: I don't think it's worth it if she leaves. Where, I'll give someone five hundred yuan for walking around for a day? Find a friend, quickly saw off the statue of Yu Qian, knock off three of them with your fingers, and give him two hundred.

Yu: It’s me. Guo: Well, the arrangement is over. At ten o’clock the next morning, we meet under the statue. I take out two hundred and give it to her. Take it away. Why? Why? Teacher Yu said give it two hundred. Look up and take a breath. This hand looks like this... (the thumb and little finger are left behind). Yu: Knock on these three! Guo: Knocked out these three. Yu: Hey, okay, one hundred more. Guo: She was so happy, six hundred. Teacher Yu said it was six hundred. Yu: These two are really obedient. Guo: It made me angry. , Ah, there is no other way, just give it to someone else. After giving you 600, you turned around and went to find my friend... You are so wicked. I asked you to knock those three. Do you know that I spent too much? Yu: Hey Guo: He's happy to hear it here, you think it's an advantage Yu: What's wrong? Guo: If I knock it like this, you have to pay eight hundred...