First of all, love comes from three progressive foundations: physiology, spirit and morality.
Physiological characteristics include not only healthy development, but also characteristics rooted in genes, such as body shape and strength.
In The Evolution of Desire, David Bass explains how the sexual characteristics of girls and boys attracted to the opposite sex evolved.
The love at the physiological level is mostly reflected in physical development and physical characteristics. In layman's terms, it is also the level of love of "I simply love your body".
The promotion of identity-survival value-physical characteristics mentioned above is the first level of manufacturing of love elements.
Plato's psychological needs will more or less affect his own aesthetic feelings.
As for how many kinds of spiritual needs there are, how to discover what kind of spiritual needs you want to meet from love, and then add them after reading them.
Let me give you an example first. In Gundam mobile suit: Xia Ya in the Counter-offensive, Shaar has a famous saying: "Lala can be my mother's woman!"
According to the background setting of Xia Ya's role, we can see that he projected his needs for the all-encompassing mother to Lala.
Now some anime characters also have the attribute of "all-encompassing maternal love", which allows the audience to relieve their pressure in reality through projection.
For example, Coco Luo, one of the heroines in Princess Connection: RE DIVE, which is very popular recently, is called "mom" by many players.
In the same way, there are many explanations for the psychological attraction of lovable attributes such as lolicon and Yu.
These explanations explain how a person's psychological needs for love affect aesthetic feelings.
Because the opposite sex who can meet their own needs has what kind of appearance characteristics, this characteristic is beautiful for themselves.
Therefore, when discussing the second view of love, we need to know what kind of psychological needs we have for love.
Although different people have different aesthetic needs, most people have a universal standard for beauty.
Therefore, the promotion of one's appearance is the second-level manufacturing of love production factors.
The source of people's psychological need for love is attachment, so we need to know the childhood attachment theory put forward by Eisworth.
I am a contradictory emotional model, and I need to control myself and give each other independent space.
According to the expression of contradiction and security in this paper, we can refer to the mentality of Yin and Yang to cultivate our dependent personality as a safe type.
Developing a correct attitude is the ultimate goal of aura training, and Yin He's attitude corresponds to each part of aura construction.
These attitudes will naturally generate recognition after understanding all aspects of the gas field.
John Lee divided the forms of love influenced by dependence into six categories:
Among them, the love of friendship is produced by pure friendship, and it is best to be with people like yourself, plain and deep.
Therefore, the correct way to choose your own object is to find someone similar to yourself, which requires us to have a full understanding of ourselves.
To some extent, this is like the core law of generating and maintaining attraction between men and women, that is, the three views are consistent.
The feeling based solely on physiology is pale, and the aesthetic feeling caused by psychological needs is only temporary, not long-term.
Although it is said that good physical condition and attractive appearance can make you approach the opposite sex more effectively, it cannot be denied.
But what really determines whether we can be together and how far we can go is the recognition and tacit understanding of the three views.
But how can we understand our own outlook on life and values, and how can we perceive others'? ?
First of all, we need to go back to the ideological and political textbooks in senior high schools and Ma Yuan textbooks in universities to understand the definitions of world outlook, outlook on life and values.
I. World outlook
World outlook is people's view and fundamental view of the whole world, and the problems involved are the most common and universal problems in the whole world.
On the philosophical level, the discussion about the world outlook is as follows:
(1) The world is a question of "what". Who decides who are the two major phenomena in the world-matter and spirit? Is the world material or spiritual in nature?
② The question of "how" the world is. Are things in the world isolated or interrelated? Is it still or moving? Guess what?
Therefore, it is embodied in the view of what is and how.
2. Outlook on life
For the problem of outlook on life, I didn't find a detailed explanation in the textbook of high school.
But according to my inference, man is a part of the world, and his outlook on life is influenced by the world outlook.
What is the world like? How can I live in such a world as an individual?
Outlook on life includes three aspects, involving three major issues:
The purpose of life, answer what is life for? Whether it's eating, drinking and having fun, or making contributions to society.
(2) Attitude towards life, answering how people live? Is optimistic and enterprising, or pessimistic and passive.
3 life evaluation, answer what is the value of life? It depends on the contribution, or how much you take. (evaluation of one's life)
These problems can be perceived more or less after getting along for a long time.
Three. values
In the Beast King, values are defined as the judgment of values. However, the definition of value needs to review textbooks.
Value in philosophical sense refers to the positive significance of things to the subject, and whether they can meet the positive functions and attributes of the subject's needs.
The value of human beings lies in meeting the needs of subjects (themselves, others and society) through their own activities.
On the basis of understanding the value of specific things (the ability to meet the needs of the subject), we form a general view and a fundamental view of the value of things, which is the values.
The concrete expression of values is people's value judgment and value choice.
Value judgment is to judge whether things can meet the needs and satisfaction of the subject, which is formed on the basis of social practice.
People make their own value choices according to their own value judgment standards.
Some people's demand is dedication, because he feels that living is dedication. Some people's needs are taking, because they feel that living is taking.
So values are formed under the influence of outlook on life. What do you think is the most important thing in life? What is the most important thing for you?
At the same time, what is more important to oneself is also one of the simple expressions of values.
It is not enough for the three views to be consistent. If the three views of both sides are wrong, or their own views are wrong, it is to rush into the fire pit together.
Because the exploration of "three views" is a part of self-cognition, and the self-cognition belonging to the gas field is the manufacture of the elements that produce love at the third level.
As a physiological basis and natural premise, sexual desire appears in the first level (physiological) production process.
As the core of love, emotion appears in the process of the second level (psychological, emotional combination of spirit and flesh).
In the process of the third layer of morality, there are two elements, namely ideals and obligations.
Ideals, as the social basis and rational orientation of love, and obligations, as social requirements, all originate from their own outlook on life.
Equality means respecting the right of both sides to choose independently. Some people try to go beyond this rule and rack their brains to make each other like themselves compulsively.
Primary unrequited love, unrequited love, brutal bullying, stalking and beating, more horrible PUA, psychological control and so on.
Love is when both parties give and invest at the same time. No matter what method you use, what you get beyond the rules is not love at all, it is fake.
Dependence means that the two sides are emotionally attached to each other, support each other in action and care about each other in life.
If you only care about yourself and don't unilaterally consider each other's feelings, then congratulations to his partner, you have found a son and a giant baby.
Teacher Duan divided the concept of love into three levels from this summary, which originated from physiology, psychology and intimate relationship formed by morality.