Why are some people accustomed to facing difficulties, while others always shrink back and give up in the face of difficulties? Apart from many objective factors, the difference in adversity obviously plays a decisive role. Adversity Quotient refers to a person's ability to see opportunities in difficult situations and even turn crises into opportunities.

Thirty years ago at the University of Pennsylvania, psychologist Martin Seligman conducted a famous experiment on electric shock dogs. He divided the dogs participating in the experiment into three groups. The first group of dogs were strapped in a harness and given a mild electric shock. The dogs could stop the shock by pressing a lever with their noses. So this group of dogs quickly learned how to stop the shocks. The dogs in the second group were also strapped with the same harness and received the same electric shock, but they were unable to stop the shock during the experiment, so they had to endure the pain. The third group, a control group, was strapped but did not receive electric shocks.

The next day, Seligman put the three groups of dogs one by one into a box and subjected them to mild electric shocks to see if they could escape. The results of the experiment showed that the dogs in the first group, which were the dogs that had previously been able to control electric shocks on their own, escaped quickly; the dogs in the third group, which were the dogs in the control group, had not received electric shocks before, and they also escaped quickly. They learned to get rid of the electric shock; but the dogs in the second group, that is, the dogs that had no way to control the electric shock in the previous stage, reacted differently from the first two groups. They just lay down and whimpered and cried without trying to escape.

Seligman’s explanation for this is that the dogs in the second group were unable to prevent being shocked in the previous stage, so they developed a sense of helplessness. This sense of helplessness continued in the second round of actual danger. Destroys their motivation to take action. He thus proposed the famous theory of "learned helplessness". Learned helplessness is an idea that nothing is useful, which is constantly internalized repeatedly in the mind, thereby weakening the subject's sense of control over things. The scarier thing about learned helplessness is that it not only affects oneself, but also affects others. Research by Seligman and others points out that when children are very young, they are easily influenced by their parents and others. For example, parents take care of everything for their children and do not allow them to deal with their own problems, thus inadvertently giving their children a sense of helplessness. For example, if teachers attribute good or bad grades to stable traits such as IQ or personality, it will also make students feel very helpless; for example, some fathers will tell their children that the reason why you are unwilling to exercise is because you inherited my lazy gene. , over time, the child will think that this is unchangeable, so he will no longer try to exercise. But if the problem is attributed to temporary factors, such as insufficient effort and low motivation, the self-helplessness will not be so strong.

No one is born with adverse quotient. Regardless of the level of adverse quotient, it can be changed. It does not represent destiny, but is just a behavioral pattern formed by a person over many years. We often hear a theory recently: Develop a habit in 21 days, such as running, fitness, getting up early, writing, etc. This means that we can change our behavior habits over a long period of time to gain a sense of control over ourselves and thus develop Become a counter-trader. Not only that, when the stimulation and motivation are strong enough, behavioral habits can also be easily changed. For example, if I give you one million and let you insist on getting up early every day and running for a year; another example is the story of the frog boiled in warm water that we often hear. When the frog is instantly thrown into the hot water, a large enough stimulus will force the frog to change in an instant. Behavioral habits pop up quickly. These are the effects of strong enough external stimulation and motivation. It is often heard that many people's temperaments have undergone great changes after experiencing major changes. It is probably because of this reason.

So how do you exercise your control, so as to exercise reverse quotient and gain control? The following methods are worth trying

The first is the "believe in action" closed loop

To accept a challenge, if I "feel" that I should be able to do it, then often I really can OK. Ma Yun said that because he believed, he saw. Most people believe what they see, but the stronger people first have goals and then achieve them.

This is also the "self-fulfilling prophecy" in psychology - people will unconsciously act according to known prophecies, and eventually make the prophecies happen. For example, if a person always feels that he is not good at mathematics, he will retreat as soon as he sees mathematics, and he will go around when studying. As a result, he will not do well in the exam. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you think you can't learn well, the less willing you are to learn. In the end, you really can't learn well. For another example, you graduated from a second degree and got into a big company by luck. With all kinds of 211 and 985 colleagues, you always feel that you are a head shorter than others. Always timid, over time, the actual work performance will be ranked last, which is also a manifestation of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Buffett's partner Charlie Munger pointed out in "The Psychology of Human Misjudgment" that in order to save computing space, the human brain will be reluctant to make changes, thus forming an "inconsistency avoidance tendency." This tendency is so powerful that "so long as a person pretends to have a certain identity, habit, or conclusion, he himself will usually believe it." Because of this psychological trap, once you believe something, you will see something.

Action itself brings a sense of control. Most people cannot insist on running for half an hour every day, so if you set a small goal first, and when it is time to run every day, let yourself spend two minutes to put on your running shoes seriously, this action will bring you huge benefits. A sense of control and motivation. Therefore, believe that action is a closed loop. First, believe that you can get out of adversity, and then start with the parts you can control, do it step by step, and slowly turn the situation around.

The second is responsibility attribution. We often see people blaming others because their work is not going well, complaining about bad leadership and disharmony among colleagues. Maybe what he said is right, but this kind of complaining usually does not solve any problems. He can change his workplace and it will still be the same. situation, and then continue to change jobs. This is a very common situation. Everyone will habitually shirk responsibility. After passing the responsibility for failure to others, one can gain psychological balance and comfort. This is actually a kind of psychological self-protection. But the problem is that the difficulty cannot be overcome. At the same time, we will also see some people attribute their success externally and inwardly when they fail. They will say that their success is mainly due to luck. They will even take responsibility unprincipled and blame themselves for failure. What is important is to get out of the quagmire of mutual complaints as soon as possible and start to enter the process of solving problems as soon as possible. Therefore, many people seriously believe that success is highly accidental, not only based on hard work, but more importantly, luck, and ignore it. Successful people correct their mistakes step by step.

The third is to be patient and persistent. Some people are very capable of self-deception. They can quickly switch states after failure and seem to engage in new work without any negative emotions. However, after some people experience failure, they will repeatedly recall the pain of setbacks in any future work. , always cautious, walking on thin ice, timid, and very pessimistic about things. Why do some people give up on themselves after failing an exam, while some people can stand up again even if they go bankrupt throughout their lives? I had a female classmate in high school who grew up in a wealthy family and always ranked first in her class. In her sophomore year of high school, there was an accident and she was passed by the second place student. There was no sound. The old man Chu Shijian, who is more familiar to everyone, was released from prison in his seventies and was restricted from moving in the barren mountains. He founded Chu Cheng and stood at the top again.

Finally, there are three seemingly incompatible but very relevant quotes:

Romain Rolland: There is only one kind of heroism in the world, which is to still love life after recognizing the truth of life.

"John Christopher": The real warrior is not that he never fails, but that he will not be knocked down by sinking

Haruki Murakami: Pain can be avoided, suffering can be avoided Is it willing (Pain? is? inevitable. Suffering is optional.)

Therefore, no one can defeat you. The only one who can really defeat you is yourself. Practice your reverse quotient and start the upward journey of life. trip.