Every couple who enter the marriage hall hand in hand, when entering the solemn and sacred wedding moment, all hold the idea of spending the rest of their lives with the person in front of them.

Just married, in daily chores, boredom and mediocrity replaced the original passion and mystery, and the initial fantasies and expectations were shattered a little. You began to quarrel, contradictions began to increase, marital relations became more and more tense, and the idea of divorce began to take root until it broke out, which could no longer be concealed. If you are still indifferent, the result is definitely no suspense.

If there are problems in marriage, face them bravely. If you always choose passive escape, the cracks will get bigger and bigger.

Some people say that marriage is a besieged city, people inside want to come out and people outside want to go in; Others say that marriage is a grave, where two people's love is buried. What marriage is, no one can say clearly, but one thing is clear. Marriage is the practice of two people, and it needs two people to go in the same direction together. If a person goes in the wrong direction, then disputes and contradictions are inevitable.

In fact, marriage breakdown and divorce are not without warning, and our relationship can't always be smooth. Everyone can only listen to his own inner thoughts. In marriage, you need to make sure that you can hear and feel your partner's heartbeat and temperature, so that the marriage can last. First, the appearance characteristics of marriage problems

Quarrels become frequent.

When the only way of communication between husband and wife is to quarrel, it shows that you have no tolerance and patience for each other. Quarrel as soon as you open your mouth When quarreling, they will constantly turn over old scores and expose each other's scars. Because you used to be the closest person, it's natural to speak. At that moment, you were like an enemy, saying the worst things and stepping on each other's self-esteem. The more arguments there are, the more heated they become. Then there was the cold war, and there was no attitude to solve the problem.

Every time they quarrel, they always involve each other's parents and scold each other's parents. This is a taboo for couples to quarrel. If they can't solve the problem, they will aggravate the contradiction between them and push each other further and further.

Periodic cold war

A good marriage needs to be managed, but in a marriage, different couples will have different management methods because of their different personalities, experiences and ways of getting along.

When some couples encounter problems, they will sit down quietly and say frankly, spread out the problems and let them communicate and solve them. Some couples are not like this. When they encounter any problems, their first thought is not how to solve them, but how to escape and hide them. Both of them have time, so they don't talk after meeting. This is the cold war. Marriage is most afraid of cold violence. Two people from speechless to speechless. What does this marriage mean? Procrastination is just mutual reluctance.

The cold war is a very serious problem in marriage. It can not only solve the problems in marriage, but also make the contradictions between the two sides accumulate more and more, which will lead to more contradictions. This is the most terrible thing.

Have an affair with others, betray each other or even cheat.

There used to be a saying on the Internet that "the number of infidelities is only zero, countless times".

In marriage, if one party betrays the other, the damage of this relationship is huge and it is difficult to repair later. After all, cracks already exist. Even if there is a saying that "marriage is not easy, do it and cherish it", in the final analysis, it can't escape "one parting and two width, happiness for a lifetime"

Always thinking about divorce

The marriage went wrong, and both of them felt uncomfortable, so they both had the idea of divorce. Even in the happiest marriage, there are 100 thoughts of divorce and 99 thoughts of strangling each other. However, the secret of a happy marriage lies in the 10 1 reconciliation and the100th forgiveness. The idea of divorce often comes to mind in a broken marriage. This idea has been infinitely magnified, and more and more people feel that they are not good at each other and can't get along well for a while.

In real life, many couples have strong feelings, but in the end, their feelings gradually fade away, drift away and even become strangers. Sadly, the relationship between husband and wife is getting more and more estranged, but one of them has not realized it and thought it was just a plain marriage. In fact, they just haven't faced up to the reasons behind it. Second, the inherent characteristics behind the marriage problem

1, psychological needs are not met.

After entering the marriage hall, two people live under the same roof. Day after day, if the needs of both men and women are not effectively met, there will be bad emotions, which will lead to quarrels and family conflicts.

Pursuing emotional and spiritual satisfaction is the basic need of both husband and wife. However, due to the differences between men and women in cognition, thinking and behavior, it is difficult to meet this demand.

In many cases we have encountered, couples have divorced for this reason.

1. If you don't know your spouse's real needs, what they give is not what the other person wants;

Under the great pressure of work and life, both husband and wife are busy with their careers and children, while ignoring the communication between husband and wife. They are getting farther and farther away from each other, but they are strangers under the same roof.

3. One party works outside, has a successful career, and has been committed to work, but ignores the care for the family and the contribution of the partner to the family; On the other hand, because they are absorbed in the family, they ignore their partners' career troubles and cannot give support and comfort. At the same time, complaining that your partner ignores the care of your family will make people feel lonely and eventually go their separate ways.

2, distrust, mutual suspicion

Husband and wife need trust, and mutual trust is the premise of maintaining and deepening the relationship.

If both husband and wife are always worried about whether the other will betray themselves or do something sorry for themselves, life is like a war.

Suspicion is the most likely thing to hurt the feelings of husband and wife. Since you choose to be husband and wife, you should trust each other. Suspicious marriage is a serious harm to family and feelings, and even a burden of life, which makes life more difficult.

3. Lack of sense of responsibility

Some people say, "Love is a matter for two people, and marriage is a matter for two families."

When both men and women get married and start a family, they must bear responsibilities and obligations to their families. This responsibility lies not only in raising children, but also in supporting the elderly on both sides and bearing the economic expenses of housework and family life. If all these things are done by one party, the relationship between husband and wife will inevitably lose balance and produce contradictions, which will eventually lead to the trend of marriage breakdown.

The lack of responsibility is also reflected in the betrayal between husband and wife.

In marriage, the loyalty of husband and wife is the most basic moral principle. Marriage is not like the relationship between lovers when they are in love. When they are in love, when they are together, they are together. We broke up when we were not together. But after marriage, especially when they have children, you have a sense of responsibility for your family, so every choice needs to be cautious. Betrayal is irresponsible and the greatest harm to marriage.

There is no love that can't be caught up with, but there is no direction and thinking that blames others and is at a loss.

Without a perfect marriage, a person who loves each other again, without correct management, marriage will eventually become a chicken rib, tasteless to eat, and a pity to abandon. In love, both men and women have to pay a lot of effort and energy. If you want to avoid divorce, you must be willing to make changes.

Two-way efforts by both men and women will make this change easy, while one-way efforts will bear great pressure. After meeting their expectations, we should guide each other, establish the correct attraction and regain love. Third, how to improve marriage and consolidate intimate relationship.

A/ Improve emotional control ability and rebuild emotional ties.

Whenever there are contradictions and conflicts, you can't control your emotions, create contradictions, get hysterical, and then push each other further and further. So if you want to rebuild a normal relationship, you need to improve your emotional control.

You can seek the help of relevant professionals, change yourself according to their guidance, and cultivate some hobbies for yourself. In the process of learning new knowledge and abilities, your attention will also focus on new interests, which will help to divert your attention and relieve your impulsive personality.

Similarly, as you change, your personal value will also rise. In the process of contact with him, your partner will gradually see your changes and make great changes for you. With further communication, we can also rebuild emotional ties.

B/ increase emotional input and care

If you want to save your marriage and love, you need to let him feel your love and the warmth of his family more. Both men and women have emotional needs, and the most precious thing about love is itself. Don't care too much about the result, pay attention to each other and give him more care and love. This is the key to recovery.

So you have to know him for so many years, take what you like, seize the demand signal he inadvertently revealed, and meet his needs, so that you can become an important part of his life again.

Don't forget every point in daily life, let him feel that you have made his life better, and he can't help giving it to you. Their investment finally reached a balance point. At this time, they achieved their goal by exposing their compounds.

Stop complaining and nagging

Tangible or intangible pressure in married life and work sometimes makes both husband and wife feel depressed. At this time, it is most likely to cause dissatisfaction with the other half. Moderate complaints can get each other's understanding, but endless complaints will bring trouble to each other, which will eventually lead to mutual complaints and easily lead to the breakdown of marriage. Four, clear the eternal law of marriage is the basic behavior characteristics to maintain the stability of marriage.

Even if the other person understands that all your actions are based on good performance to him/her, if this behavior is excessive, it will disappoint the other person and make him/her feel disgusted. Therefore, since we want to save this relationship, we might as well start with less complaining and less blaming each other, and be more tolerant and understanding.

The marriage was in crisis and the relationship broke down. How can I get it back? When we encounter problems in marriage, we often face each other's indifference and refuse to communicate with you. We may put forward the idea of divorcing you or find a lawyer to draft a divorce agreement.

At this time, you may think, why is he so heartless? Did he really go there? A couple are grateful for a hundred days, and their hearts are harder than stones.

Actually, it's not. Most men will have some problems after marriage, and even sleep in separate rooms. If this is an example, you can say that he is heartless, but are men so heartless?

That was not the case. Whether a person cares about you has nothing to do with his subjective consciousness. Just like making you angry with me, even if you agree, you can't do it because you can't control your instinctive emotions subjectively.

Since everyone can't control his instinct, how can you talk to his subjective consciousness and make him enthusiastic about you immediately? Just like you can't control yourself not to love him now, or to love someone you don't love. So we should understand that love can't be controlled subjectively.

1, marriage is dynamic.

Nothing is once and for all, and so is marriage.

There is a phenomenon. I don't know if you have noticed. In other words, the divorce rate of rural couples is getting higher and higher.

Why?

Because rural couples often separate, the value of couples who stay in their hometown to farm is basically the same, and even declines due to age.

People who go out to work have a broader vision and higher value. The higher a person's value, the greater the temptation, so it is easy to cheat.

The divorce process of many families is generally like this: when they first got married, the two sides were equal in strength and agreed, and the marriage was in a stable state.

As time goes by, one side strives to make progress, while the other side always stands still. So there is a gap in strength. With the growing gap between the two countries, the relationship between the two countries will fall into crisis.

You can scold a man for breaking his promise and calling him love rat, but you have to understand the fact that a man who marries a woman does not mean that he must live with her unconditionally for the rest of his life.

Marriage will never be so beautiful, and you will encounter some problems that need to be faced and solved by yourself. These questions sometimes make you feel bad, but they are not that bad.

This is a normal life, a normal marriage. As long as you are in this relationship, you need to constantly face endless problems.

Learn to accept such a real marriage environment and don't complain every day.

Understand the dynamic law of marriage, you can't take chances, you can't face the immediate problems pessimistically, and you can increase your wisdom and ability to face problems.

2. Marriage must be true.

Facing a living person means that you are a living person first.

When it comes to reality, many people will say: I am real enough to tell him everything I need, but sometimes he can't!

It is true that expressing your needs is a reality. However, if this reality is not satisfied, will you feel bad for each other?

If so, you may not regard the other person as a person with feelings, emotions and ideas, but hope that the other person is a robot that can execute his own instructions.

If you concretize another person as a robot, you will ignore the other person's emotions. However, you can do this, because you also ignore your feelings, and you may think of yourself as a robot first.

In this way, marriage becomes a robot trying to manipulate another robot, but the other party will not agree that he is doing robot work.

If two people try to control and change each other, without emotion or understanding, and only focus on achieving their own goals, then the relationship will become cold.

Now, there are always many skills to tell us how to make each other better, which greatly satisfies those who want to control each other like robots because of fear.

However, only when you realize that you can't control each other can you grow. Because when the other person is alive, you can see that you are alive. Your thoughts and feelings begin to matter. So, you have the right to choose.

The other party must have shortcomings, and so must you. You are real people, and there may be some parts that the other person doesn't like very much. This is the real marriage relationship.

Therefore, in the face of marriage, instead of learning many skills, it is better to learn how to understand a person. The premise is that you should first think of yourself as a living person and understand what this living person is like.

3. Marriage needs a sense of meaning

Find the deep connection between marriage and you and achieve stability.

There are two kinds of marriage for us: one is external meaning and the other is internal meaning.

The meaning of the outer layer is mostly clear: for example, the purpose of choosing marriage is to cater to the social perspective, not to be lonely, to have children, to get financial support and so on. These meanings refer to some practical needs.

However, these external meanings are not enough. It's like saying, you choose to get married, and you say I just want to have a baby. So, so many people can have children together, why don't you choose someone else? You must choose him.

Obviously, he means something else to you. So apart from all the external meanings, does marriage itself have any profound significance for you?

If there is, you will have a sense of stability. Being in it, knowing where you are and why you are here, your consciousness and body will exist in marriage;

If not, it's like you are in a marriage, but you may want to leave at any time, which means you didn't marry yourself into the marriage, you just put an empty shell in the marriage.

Its deep meaning is the confirmation of a relationship, just like rock climbing. You want to climb a steep and dangerous mountain, if it means nothing to you.

When you determine the meaning and encounter difficulties, you can gain strength and support through this clear meaning without giving up easily. Only in this way can marriage be more closely combined, thus developing a deeper relationship.

Therefore, for marriage, everyone needs to have a confirmation to himself: why is this person in front of him not someone else? What does this relationship mean to me and my life?

If you find your own meaning in marriage, you will never lose yourself no matter where the marriage goes. Because life and relationships can end, but meaning can last forever! A harmonious marriage is not necessarily benign, but more dangerous.

Why do the left and right legs complain? Some couples say that there have been no contradictions, differences and quarrels in their marriage for decades. It can be said that at least one party is irresponsible to the family and doesn't care about the other.

Marriage is a comfortable worry, family is not a place to reason, and the way of husband and wife is "inseparable." If two people don't want to be confused, there will be no peace at home. Happy families are all alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

The best marriage match is not equal to the best marital status. If women don't admire men and men don't appreciate women, love won't happen. Marriage will not be lingering, love lies in "infatuation", excessive sobriety, calculation and comparison, which is not love.

Happy marriage, love and responsibility are everything, marriage is pure selfishness, and love is sacred greed. Once you are no longer selfish, it means that you are no longer important to her.

Marriage is like making tea, the first cup of tea is like love, and tulips are fragrant; The second cup is like a wedding, fresh and pleasant; The third cup, like a marriage just after a secret month or a new year, is as plain as water. We have to taste with a normal heart, in order to realize the real taste.

Family is a golden cage. The bird outside the cage wants to live, and the bird inside the cage wants to fly out. Nowadays, divorce is a wealth disease. If you are poor, you want peace; If you have money, you want to change. Marriage without love is unstable, and marriage with love is also unstable. Time and distance can make love warm and cool. A bad woman wants to find a good man, and a bad man wants to find a good woman, so getting married is always a regret.

Men are philosophy, women are poetry, philosophy without poetry is boring, and poetry without philosophy is superficial. Philosophy is rational and poetry is emotional. To understand poetry, one must first understand his own philosophy. To understand philosophy, a woman must first understand her own poems. Profound philosophy, only a poem with similar verve can resonate. Therefore, the best is not necessarily suitable for you, but what suits you is the best.

Everyone says his wife is good. In fact, only they know whether big feet and small shoes are suitable or not. They love their wives and people, and fake wine mixed with water is water or wine. There is only the beginning of happiness, but not the end of satisfaction. There are too many good men to compare with their husbands and too many good women to compare with their wives, which is very dangerous.

Seeing that dignitaries don't keep up with the joneses, their husbands are even more incompetent, seeing beautiful women coquettish without evil thoughts, and thinking much about the feelings of husband and wife. If you want to conquer a woman, you may be conquered by a woman. Women are not weak. Women are the source of men's strength. No man's strength comes from loving and encouraging women's love, but from men who are inferior to women.

Women are water, mixed with wine is wine, mixed with vinegar is vinegar. The value of a woman depends on her man.

Don't say that women can't live without men. Men need women more. A man without a woman cannot live, and a woman without a man can live. Men are water, women are dams, and there is no water that doesn't want to overflow. Man is a volcano of desire. Although the fire is flat, the fire is flat. Once a volcano erupts, it will become a monster.

Men express their love through sex, and women understand each other's love through sex. Sexual harmony is fertile ground for husband and wife to live in harmony. Being poor does not mean that there is no warm home. How can a good husband who knows how to cherish his wife's gentleness, sympathize with the hardships of the weak and care only about controlling and not caring?

A virtuous wife is the most precious wealth of a family, and a virtuous woman is virtuous first and then virtuous. Stupid women suffer from loss, smart women paint their husbands' faces with gold, and stupid women slander their husbands. The wife's contempt for her husband is the most profound tragedy in the family.

The process of wife's care must be nagging, which is the catharsis of her happiness. Never interrupt the happy music in her heart. A wife's coquetry is a gift of love. A woman who is gentle and despises her husband will not be spoiled in front of her husband. No man is afraid of his wife. "Fear" is humility and proof of love.

The ideal relationship between husband and wife must be: intimacy, appropriate alienation, honesty and keeping some secrets, which can be the love point of two people or the world of one person.

If a couple can get along well as best friends, their hands will be tight.

Perhaps the most important thing to love someone is not vows and sweet words. Some trifles in life can better reflect his love for you. This is the password of love.

The secret of maintaining a long-term relationship with a lover is to give up changing the other person's mind. In order to continue love and marriage, the wife must please the husband, and the husband should also please the wife. As for how to please others, this is a profound art. Pride cannot last long, desire cannot be indulged, happiness cannot be extreme, and ambition cannot be satisfied.

Trust is the most important feature of two people in marriage, and it is also essential to establish a happy and developing relationship. People who live in marriage have their eyes half closed. There are no perfect men and women in the world. If they keep their eyes open for too long, or shine in the devil's lens for too long, I'm afraid even God will find fault.

Sincerity and trust are the most valuable things in life. In a happy marriage, everyone should respect each other's hobbies. It is the most absurd idea to think that two people can have the same idea, the same judgment and the same desire. In a harmonious family, at least one of the husband and wife is a fool, and the husband and wife are like a string on a string. They vibrate harmoniously in the same melody, but they are independent of each other.

A match made in heaven can withstand all possible disasters. When they were poor together, they were much happier than divorced couples who owned world property.

The quarrel between husband and wife in youth is the entanglement of love, and the quarrel between husband and wife in old age is frustrating.

The husband is half responsible for his wife's infidelity, and if the husband is unfaithful, the wife is half responsible. If the other party is forced to flee, the responsibility is even greater. A qualified wife should make her husband a creator of social wealth through her own efforts.

In real life, a good man may not marry a good woman, and a good woman may not marry a good man. A good woman and a good man may not live happily together. There are many kinds of people, and there are various ways in the world. Everyone's personality, taste and quality are different, and the way of getting along is different. A hundred couples have a hundred ways to get along.

Marriage is like a banquet, and love is the staple food. Tolerance, understanding, trust and respect are a dish. Appreciation, humor, interest is wine, not wine. If you want a comfortable and lasting taste, you must do it with your heart. Six, the specific implementation methods of benign marriage management

1, pay more attention to each other

Nowadays, the pressure of life and work is increasing, which will make people feel irritable. This is a test of marriage. Often get angry outside. Of course, I hope someone at home can comfort and care for themselves and help me relieve stress. This requires mutual understanding and tolerance between husband and wife. Listen to each other's opinions and give them advice when they need help, so as to show the warmth of home.

Give each other proper space, distance produces beauty, and it is important for couples to trust each other. Now some couples like to check each other's personal information such as QQ or mobile phone. In fact, although this method makes the parties clearly know the whereabouts of the other party, it also gives the other party a lot of ideas, which will make the other party feel that they are not trusted, and the result is counterproductive. Instead, it will alienate each other, which is not conducive to the development of marriage.

2. Emphasis on the sharing of "heart"

There are not only feelings that need to be managed between marriages, but also many small things that cannot be ignored. For example, housework, now, most couples need to go to work to maintain family expenses after marriage. But the housework shirks each other, and I always feel that I am trying. When they go home, they want to have a rest and don't want to do anything else. However, the other person's mood is often the same. If only one party does these things, it will produce a sense of imbalance and affect the feelings of both parties. Therefore, it is best for everyone to share these chores and take turns to do them, so that conflicts are not easy to arise.

3. Filial piety is the "heart"

Sometimes marriage is not just about two people, but also about two families. For example, the original income, education and personality of both husband and wife. , may cause some opinions of the other parents, thus reflecting that they are not very good to each other. At this time, as the younger generation, we should be more tolerant, give in to what we like, understand our parents' preferences, buy some things we like or do more things we like, so as to change our attitude towards ourselves. Quarrel will embarrass the other couple.

4. Create the joy of "heart"

After a year or two, if life has been dull, the relationship between husband and wife will gradually become indifferent. Therefore, it is necessary to occasionally come up with some romantic ideas to surprise each other, which is conducive to enhancing the relationship between husband and wife.

Dark-haired couples grow old together, which is fate. Everything depends on human effort, love everything and manage with heart.

If you want a long and happy marriage, it is essential to have the ability to love;

Tolstoy once said: "All happy families are similar, and each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." This sentence once became a famous saying, but after touching so many real marriage cases, people found that a happy marriage has its own happy model. Unfortunately, the problems encountered by husband and wife are similar, but the solutions are different.

Marriage is not easy, you should cherish it.

I believe that everyone will encounter different emotional puzzles in love.

100% of people have gained something under the guidance of teachers. Some found love, some met sweet love, and some entered the marriage hall.

We teach planning, but love is real.

I hope my article can give you some help in the emotional quagmire.