2. Ge You meets "angel investor" Fan Wei. Van Tude tried to pass himself off as a fake foreign devil.
Fan Wei: Do you think we should speak Chinese or English?
Ge You: You decide which goes well.
Fan Wei: Then speak your mother tongue. Nice to meet you ...
3, has been talking about, can be called a classic marriage advertisement:
Don't come if you want to find a handsome guy. If you want to find a wallet, don't see him. No master's degree or above, no Shanghai women, no female entrepreneurs (except small vendors), so as not to disappoint each other. Mr Andy Lau and Mr Tom Cruise, who are rich and handsome, will not propose to you. Of course, I didn't dream of Notting Hill. If you are really a fairy, I can't take it. I didn't expect you to look like the cover of a pictorial, and you were shocked at first sight. (haha, you can still use it like this. ) Ordinary people who are fashionable in appearance, conservative in heart and healthy in body and mind will do. It would be more reliable if it were more or less elegant. The word graceful and restrained is really unique.
I like a woman who can do a little housework. Every morning, the quilts in the shopping mall are laid like that.
I also like women who can cook for me. Watching her cook for me has an appetite more than any hotel food stall. Hehe, but like most people, I'm a little picky about food.
Be specific enough.
Let me introduce myself. I am younger and lead a normal life. I don't smoke or drink. I went abroad as an international student. After living abroad for more than ten years, I didn't go to school seriously and wasted my time learning a survival skill. Now I'm back from overseas and I haven't learned anything. To tell the truth, I should be defined as a "three fake turtles" without company, stock and degree. Open-minded, 50-50, dishonest, but born timid, not breaking the law, not hurting my conscience, not being destroyed, I can't kill anyone. If you want to learn bad, you are doomed to be a bad person. Generally speaking, it still belongs to a category that is beneficial to the crowd and harmless to society.
You are the only one who is interested.
4. Ge You's former male colleague went on a blind date after plastic surgery.
Ge You: Aren't you making trouble? I advertised for marriage.
Feng: Your advertisement didn't say that men are not allowed to talk.
Ge You: Isn't that nonsense? I can find another man. I am not gay. Are you ... ...
Feng: I am. How do you know you are not? I thought I wasn't, but later I realized I was afraid to face it.
Ge You: You go first. I'm not there yet.
Ge You: I also review why I am so vulgar. My heart is so big that I can't hold a man. Make room for women. Guess what, it's another woman!
In order to promote the cemetery, He Jiayi, a cemetery assistant, played a clever trick on Ge You. At first, she didn't say anything about promoting the cemetery.
He Jia I: I don't care much about appearance. What I value is people's hearts, people who are kind and filial to their parents. Even if I don't like you, you will definitely get a good wife.
Ge You: You are fashionable in appearance and conservative in heart, which is rare!
He Jiayi got down to business: Your mother is so old. If you are filial, you should choose a blessed land for her. Old people should pay attention to underground safety. As a man, you should have a sense of responsibility and filial piety, even if you don't earn much money, as long as the elderly need it. Such people are reliable. Are you such a person?
Ge You: I think so.
He Jia retorted: I don't think you are. Your father is in such a small grid. If your mother dies, don't you let them squeeze into a small cell? Tomb-Sweeping Day's grave, you don't even have a place to burn paper and incense. Is this filial piety?
Ge You: Why don't I just buy them a cemetery? I can't afford to spend money. When I left, only martyrs had cemeteries, and ordinary people put them on the shelves. Don't worry, you need to know where to choose a place for me. As long as there is a good view, I will do it at once. If we go together, I will even carve your monument first, so I promise I won't let you stay on the shelf! (Super funny black humor)
Shu Qi: Do you know what love at first sight is?
Roi: I fell in love with you as soon as I saw you.
Shu Qi: Love at first sight is not the first time you look at me, nor the first time I look at you, but the taste. We are attracted and fascinated by each other's smells. The smells are the same, you know?
Ge You: Is it possible for two strangers to meet by chance and get together to gossip as soon as they meet?
7. Shu Qi told Ge You the trouble of being a third party.
Ge You blurted out: Let him take advantage. Let me drink with my disgruntled wife. You really don't welcome me.
Ge You: Some things should be stopped. I will go back in a few days. If you want a drink, call me. Please treat me as a loyal drinking friend!
8, Ge You met a good-looking, turned out to be cold.
Blind date: I got married and my husband passed away.
Ge You: How long has it been?
Blind date: Just now.
Ge You: So how long have you lived together?
Blind date: Is this ... Is this important to you?
Ge You: Of course, if you have deep feelings, he is not cold after all.
Blind date: 78.
Ge You: It must hurt, right?
Blind date: Actually, compared with that time, it is much better now. In the past five years, I don't know where he spent the night every night. Now I finally know where he lives.
Ge You: Did you find a place for him?
Blind date: Yanchunling cemetery, when to find it.
Ge You: Yes! If he runs away, it will be a series! (hilarious-)
9, Ge You and Yunnan Miao girl (Luo Haiqiong) blind date.
Ge You: Do you want to plug the door backwards? How to get to your house?
Luo Haiqiong: First fly to Kunming, then take a day's coach to Mengzi, then take a bus to Pingbian, and then take a day's tractor, and a day's ox cart will reach our home. (Super)
Ge You: If we are not good, can we get a divorce?
Luo Haiqiong said slowly, My brother will break your leg.
10, blind date with amnesia patients.
Ge You: I can't remember things. Can people remember them?
Niece: I can't remember either. But don't worry, she will write down important people and things in this book. If you two are really married, she will wake up every morning and look at it, and she will remember who you are. (God-)
Ge You stopped the blind date who kept recording: I don't remember, forget about today-
The forgetful aunt looked puzzled: What did we say just now?
1 1.Roi: You don't want to find someone in good health? I have to find a soft persimmon to pinch.
Che Xiao: Soft persimmons are delicious.
Roi: You are sick and old. Aren't you worried about the quality of your marriage? At your age, let me get this straight. It's peak sexually.
Che Xiao: Do you think the foundation of love is sex?
Roi: Not exactly, but without it, it can't be called love, at best, it can only be called friendship.
Che Xiao: No. What's the matter? And grow old together. Of course, it doesn't mean that you can't do it at all, just don't do it too often.
Return on investment: How low do you think the frequency of making out is?
Che Xiao: This is my ideal, ah.
Return on investment: well, you say. (Che Xiao fingers) Once a month?
Che Xiao: Once a year.
12.Roi: Comrades, although I know this is a matter on the ground and it is not the responsibility of your stewardess, you should accept the opinions of passengers with an open mind and seriously reflect them to the above! Always talking about improving service quality, how to improve it? Actually, it's a matter of detail.
Roi: I wonder if there are any objects. I would rather kill a thousand by mistake than let one go.
Bidai Xiulan: After the fall of the mainland, my grandfather retreated to Taiwan Province Province with the national army. ...
Roi: hey, hey, wait a minute. You call it depravity, we call it liberation.
If you are an orphan, I can adopt you.
Roi: I can accept orphans, but the death of my parents is another matter. I'm afraid it's not appropriate to insert the Mercedes logo in the front of BMW.
Bidai Syulan: Can you drive?
Roi: But what if something goes wrong, Mercedes-Benz parts don't match and BMW doesn't bother to repair them?
Return on investment: I can get something for nothing. Married daughter-in-law, gave birth to children, still want to be self-reliant.
13.Roi: I think my proposal is quite unreliable. I don't like it, but anyone who looks good is either frigid or pregnant. Where are all the girls with clean mental health history? Why can't I see any of them?
Shu Qi: Don't turn around and swear. Who is unhealthy? Will you be clean?
Roi: I didn't say you. You are not beautiful.
Shu Qi: …
Roi: The word pleasing to the eye underestimates you. You have to be the kind of person who looks delicious, catches a glimpse in the crowd and marries the royal family without losing to Diana. Some people think that beauty is in the eye of the lover, but it is not an exaggeration to say that beauty is in the eye of the enemy.
14.Roi: Like me, I bought it at a low price. Are you going to hold it for a long time? Or short-term play?
Hook: Short-term fun? Do you have that explosive power? You can only hold it for a long time.
15. Finn: I have someone here, but my heart is elsewhere. ...
Shu Qi: You don't have to accept it. I know it's unfair to you.
Roi: Then can you allow me that my heart is here and my body is not there sometimes?
Shu Qi: Are you happy?
Shu Qi: What do you like about me?
Roi: Did I say I like you?
Shu Qi: Honesty is the premise for us to be together in the future.
Roi: I'm willing to marry you on the premise that I can't find anyone more stupid than you.
Smile: I won't be so stupid again.
Roi: You don't have the ability to be half-hearted. You can't even take part in accidental amusement. It's all written on your face. I write my words here. You haven't turned his page yet. Once you turn to a new page, you will still be single-minded I won't tolerate your present performance until I see this one. You are stupid, I am not stupid.
Return on investment: I just want to play with you because you look good. Do you accept it? Can you afford it? Half-hearted. Are you my opponent? Believe it or not, there are eight women in my heart that you can't see. What can I fail? If you don't take me seriously, I'll take you as a door-to-door delivery.
Return on investment: I just hope he looks good. Why? What's wrong with me improving my offspring for our old Qin family? Do you have to find an ugly one and think about how to escape from prison every day?
Shu Qi: Oh, what a pity! There is a big gap between what you think and what you actually see. Shall I find you a psychiatrist?
No doctor can heal my wound. You are my best medicine.
Shu Qi: Aren't you afraid of my poisoning?
Roi: You have to drink poison!
Roi: Four sisters, add up to 300 years old. Can you not despair?
Roy: If you turn your back on me, I promise, it will be Maggie Cheung and Angelina? Julie Sophie. My four sisters, Masoga and Lin Chi-ling, and I don't drink any wine.
Usain: You don't drink one, you drink ten.
16. return on investment: so ... let me talk about the bad things I did in kindergarten first. ...
17. Shu Qi: You are lucky to see a bear.
Roi: don't talk nonsense. This is the bear's luck.
Roi: It's a pity to eat it because it looks too good. Better keep the bear.
Shu Qi: You don't look like a bear.
Return on investment: like what?
Shu Qi: Wolves.
Roi: Do you regret knowing me?
Shu Qi: I don't regret it. I am very happy.
Roi: If you marry me, I promise to make you feel like drinking honey every day.
Japanese guide: Don't talk to the bear, it will tear you to pieces.
Shu Qi: I've been torn to pieces.
18. Mr. Fan: At present, the economy is so depressed that the five major investment banks are bankrupt and can't sell anything.
Return on investment: none. I sold it to you. I'll buy it back. Make an offer.
Mr. Fan: Two million.
Roi:100000, I'm going to throw it away.
Mr. Fan: OK, deal! A million is a million. I said pounds.
Roi: Cut the crap, I'm talking about Japanese yen. Don't feel lost. When the economy improves next year, I will sell it at a high price and share it with you.
Mr fan: what are you looking at?
Return on investment: the future!
Classic lines of "If You Are the One 2"
1, can you swear to money that no matter how rich, healthy and loving you the other person will be, you won't be with her? Answer me honestly, from now on, no matter how beautiful Mango is, how touching and how much she loves you, won't you be with her? -Roi, a witness at the divorce ceremony.
2, happiness is not necessarily together, bad luck must be together. -Qin
3, early know so cold, it is better to marry that once a year! At least once a year!
4, you are looking for feelings, I am looking for marriage! The two of us went the wrong way.
5. Life is a practice.
6. What is yours is mine, and what is mine is mine.
7. How to choose marriage is wrong. A long marriage is a mistake.
8, afraid, like to walk at night, knocking on the black door, you don't know whether the door is a colorful world or an abyss, afraid of stepping on the air, afraid that it is not the end but the beginning.
9. Can you swear by money that no matter how rich, healthy and loving you the other person will be in the future, you won't be with him?
10, you are looking for love, I am looking for marriage! The two of us went the wrong way. -ROI summarizes the relationship with Liang Xiaoxiao.
1 1, no business, no friendship. -Congratulations on the divorce ceremony.
Life is a kind of practice. -Qin
13. Plant me in a flowerpot and I will smile at you every day. -li xiangshan asked Roi to plant his ashes in a flowerpot.
14, what, the whole store. Stabbed into the crowd alive, but was squeezed when he died.
15, you didn't catch up with me ... these two years, it's a little empty. -ROI was exhausted and flustered by Liang Xiaoxiao.
16, leisure business is inseparable from friendship.
17, living at home doesn't have to be sincere, but kind.
18, the enjoyment of emperors is to treat their feet as faces.
19, do you want to get married and leave early in such a hurry? -Smile and answer Roi's proposal.
20. Being afraid is like walking at night and knocking on the black door. You don't know whether the colorful world is behind the door or the abyss. You are afraid of stepping on the air, fearing that it is not the end but the beginning. -Someone asked Xiangshan if he was afraid of death, and Xiangshan replied.
2 1, it's not a disease, it's a life, and when it comes to me, I can only do it.
22. They want to change from husband and wife to acquaintances.
23. Death is another kind of existence. Compared with life, only life is a kind of disability.
24. There is no need to be honest with each other when living at home. It's kind. -Laugh and blame Roi for always telling lies, and Roi is so picky.
We are friends who care about each other's lives, but we can take care of orphans but not their wives. -Xiangshan describes his relationship with Roi.
26. Let's try to live together instead of trying the seven-year itch. Life is too short, and I am willing to make mistakes with you. -ROI proposed to Liang Xiaoxiao.
27. Whoever is emotional is finished.
28. Imperial enjoyment is to treat your feet as your face. -Roi's feeling in the foot bath center.
29. If I had known it was so cold, I might as well marry that person once a year! At least once a year! -ROI complained that Liang Xiaoxiao.
We are friends who care about each other's lives, but we can take care of orphans but not their wives.
3 1, life is short, and I am willing to make mistakes with you.
32, this is not a disease, this is life, my life has come to me, I can only do this. -li xiangshan's feelings after getting cancer.
Plant me in a flowerpot, and I will smile at you every day.
34. If you can't see me, I'm there, neither sad nor happy: whether you want me or not, love is there, whether you come or not: whether you love me or not. Love is there, and it never stops you from following me. My hand is in your hand, and I will never give up: come to my arms or let me live in your heart, silence, love, silence and happiness.
35. Happiness doesn't have to be together, but misfortune must be together-
36. You didn't catch up with me when I was good ... These two years have been a bit empty.
37. Return on investment: That woman is all the same. She's not worried.
38. Pretend to be upper class, how can there be upper class? It's all dirty This is a group of parasites, cheating on food, drinking and guns. ""Stop swearing, or you will scold yourself. "
39.Roi talks about the judges of the draft: "How can there be upper class when you pretend to be upper class?" It's all dirty This is a group of parasites, cheating on food, cheating on drinking and cheating on guns. "The mango on the side said," Stop cursing and scold yourself again. "
40. Death is another kind of existence. Compared with life, only life is a kind of disability. -Xiangshan daughter at the farewell party.
4 1, whoever is emotional will be finished. -ROI learned that Liang Xiaoxiao only likes himself and said sadly
Classic lines of "If You Are the One 2"
1, life is short, and I am willing to make mistakes with you. -ROI proposed to Liang Xiaoxiao.
2, you are looking for feelings, I am looking for marriage! The two of us went the wrong way. -ROI summarizes the relationship with Liang Xiaoxiao.
You didn't catch up with me when I was good ... these two years have been a bit empty. -ROI was exhausted and flustered by Liang Xiaoxiao.
4, what, the whole big store. Stabbed into the crowd alive, but was squeezed when he died. -li xiangshan, played by Sun, is dissatisfied with the crowded cemetery.
Plant me in a flowerpot, and I will smile at you every day. -li xiangshan asked Roi to plant his ashes in a flowerpot.
6. Whoever is emotional will be finished. -ROI learned that Liang Xiaoxiao only likes himself and said sadly.
7, early know so cold, it is better to marry that once a year! At least once a year! -ROI complained that Liang Xiaoxiao.
8, happiness is not necessarily together, bad luck must be together. -Qin
9. Life is a practice. -Qin
10, it's not a disease, it's a life. When it comes to me, I can only do it. -li xiangshan's feelings after getting cancer.
1 1, yours, mine, mine. -say to Roi with a smile at the end.
12, can you swear to money that no matter how rich, healthy and loving you the other person is, you won't be with him? -witness Roi at the divorce ceremony asked Mango.
13, leisure business without losing friendship. -Congratulations on the divorce ceremony.
14, living at home doesn't have to be sincere, but kind. -Laugh at Roi for always lying, and Roi is so sophistry.
15, the enjoyment of the emperor is to serve the feet as the face. -Roi's feeling in the foot bath center.
16, how to choose marriage is wrong, and long-term marriage is to make mistakes.
17, we are close friends. We can take care of orphans but not our wives. -Xiangshan describes their relationship with Roi.
18, fear is like walking at night and knocking on the black door. You don't know whether the colorful world or the abyss is behind the door. You are afraid of stepping on the air, fearing that it is not the end but the beginning. -Someone asked Xiangshan if he was afraid of death, and Xiangshan replied.
19, death is another existence. Compared with life, only life is a deformity. -Xiangshan daughter's words at the farewell party of life.
20, you love, or don't love me, love is there, no increase or decrease. -Xiangshan's daughter recited Cangyang Jiacuo's Seeing is believing.
2 1, Roi on the judges of the draft: "How can there be an upper class if you pretend to be upper class?" It's all dirty This is a group of parasites, cheating on food, cheating on drinking and cheating on guns. "The mango on the side said," Stop cursing and scold yourself again. "
All the classic lines of If You Are the One are exposed.
Keywords: 1: leftover men
It's not terrible for men to be left behind. The terrible thing is that they are old and poor and left behind. If you earn10 million by selling inventions, like Ge You's Roi, beautiful girls will not be able to make a strong choice. If you have money, the leftover men are not afraid of being dumped.
Keyword 2: Xiao Saner
If "Painted Skin" is a completely degenerate version of Xiao San Er, "If You Are the One" is a reformed version of Xiao San Er. The stewardess played by Shu Qi fell in love with the married man played by Fang Zhongxin, and she waited for this man for three years. Someone asked Ge You what she liked and replied, "I just like her being stupid." I also hope that Ge You's phrase "I'll give you as a bargain, and I'll take you" can wake up "Little Three".
Keywords: 3: Marriage
Xiaogang Feng: If you want to find a handsome guy, don't come. If you want to find a wallet, don't see him. No master's degree or above, no Shanghai women, no female entrepreneurs, so as not to disappoint each other. Mr Andy Lau and Mr Tom Cruise, who are rich and handsome, will not propose to you. Of course, I didn't dream of Notting Hill. If you are really a fairy, I can't take it. I didn't expect to see it.
Keywords: 4: financial crisis
Qin, played by Ge You, "calmed down" this machine similar to a polygraph. When it was sold to Wei Fan, Ge You offered $2 million, while Fan Wei with deep pockets foolishly "bargained" for ￡ 2 million. When the financial crisis came and Fan Wei went bankrupt, Ge You was willing to pay for it. Fan Wei bid $6,543.8+0,000, and Ge You said, $6,543.8+0,000, but the unit should be changed into Japanese yen. Perfect fit!
Keyword 5: Homosexuality
Ge You's first blind date in the film was Feng's sissy, and Ge You said, "I haven't reached that high level yet." Ge You said that he had seen such people in his life and had heard of them before. When asked about this situation, Grandpa Ge only said two words: "I understand." This is indeed a tolerant answer, but tolerance is still so rare in today's society, and things are rare.
Keyword 6: Earthquake
The Wenchuan earthquake was shocking, so Biday Sheran played an unmarried mother in Taiwan Province Province and started dating Ge You from the adoption of earthquake orphans. After discovering that the other person likes children, Bide Sulan said straight away that she is an unmarried mother and wants to find a father for the baby in her belly. At that time, Ge You was embarrassed. He said, "I'd rather marry my own daughter-in-law and have children than rely on foreign aid." .
1, gay men
Roi (Ge You): Can I find another man? I am not gay.
Blind date (Feng): How do you know you're not? I used to think I wasn't. You are afraid to face it, but you have no courage.
Comments: This blind date is very funny.
2. Once a year
Roi: how often do you think it is not frequent?
Blind date (sticking out a finger)
Return on investment: once a month?
Blind date: once a year.
Comments: No wonder Ge You said that if I become your husband, you won't find my place.
Step 3 find dad
Bidai Syulan: Didn't you say that you don't care if the child is your own?
Roi: I agree with orphans. Both parents are another matter. There's a Mercedes-Benz logo on the front of BMW. Something's wrong. Mercedes-Benz parts don't match, and BMW is too lazy to repair them. What should I do? "
Comments: This metaphor is lethal enough.
Step 4 do it yourself
Bidai Syulan: We won't tell him that this child has been raised, isn't it the same as our own?
Roi: I still prefer to do it myself and not accept foreign aid.
Comments: This metaphor is very similar to Beijing Kaner. Xiaogang Feng's lines are more active, which shows his poverty.
Step 5 Invert the door
Roi: Do you want to insert the door backwards? How to get to your house?
Blind date (Luo Haiqiong): First fly to Kunming, then take a day's long-distance bus to Minzi, then take a bus to Pingbian, and then take a day's tractor, and a day's ox cart will reach our home.
Comments: This paragraph is interspersed, with little bedding and the joke is still there.
Step 6 praise a beautiful woman
Roi: you are not pleasing to the eye. You are a fairy. People say that beauty is in the eye of the lover, but you are in the eye of the enemy.
Comments: Although this Roi is vicious and wants to praise others, it can also be unconventional. No wonder Shu Qi loves it.
7. Prison break
Return on investment: When I fell in love, I was looking for a fairy-like daughter. What's the matter? I want to change our old Qin family. What's wrong with changing genes? I still have to find an ugly one, thinking about escaping from prison every day!
Comments: Hot topics have once again become a burden, and Xiaogang Feng is shaking badly.
Step 8 repent
Father: Our church is too small for his big sin. There is a bigger church in front of it.
Comments: Roi did some trivial "bad things", which made good priests collapse. This passage is the funniest part of the film. Please pay attention to watch.
9. Mother tongue
Mr fan (): do you think we should speak Chinese or English?
Roi: Whatever you decide, you can say.
Teacher Fan: Speak your mother tongue. Nice to meet you ...
Comments: Continue to laugh at the rich locals who know nothing.
10, harmony
Narrator (Xiaogang Feng): Flowers are blooming on the earth, and children are smiling again. 2 1 century What is the most expensive? Harmony.
Comments: Nonsense and hooliganism, especially after a favorite sentence of poets in the 1980s: "Flowers bloom on the earth, and children laugh".
1 1, dissatisfied housewife
Roi: I am so wronged. I don't want to drink with a disgruntled woman. You pay!
Comments: Although chasing beautiful women, Ge You can always come up with such a tune that people owe him. Beauty has to pay the bill after drinking with him.
12, bear
Roi: You are so beautiful. It's a pity to eat it. Why don't you keep it for a bear?
Comments:
Remember the stills of Ge You jumping into Shu Qi dressed as a brown bear? It turns out that this word was pronounced in the bear's mouth. Ge You's true confession is vulgar, but romantic!