Since ancient times, marriage has been a major event in life. I remember Mr. Ma Weidu talked about this issue. He said that marriage must be cautious, otherwise you will lose everything if you make one wrong move. When it comes to the relationship between husband and wife, the difficulty is that the two people are strangers, or in other words, they are individuals separated from the family blood relationship. The two people bear the responsibility of forming a new family and reproducing offspring. The marriage relationship is the first social relationship. Legally speaking, the couple is each other's first responsibility and heir. This poses a very big challenge to the understanding, integration and mutual trust of the two people. No one wants to have a harmonious and happy marriage, but there are many couples who find it difficult to achieve a happy marriage. The key lies in this. "Before you get married, you should open your eyes to see clearly; after you get married, you should turn a blind eye and close one eye!" This is a famous saying by Franklin. I still saw this sentence from Charlie Munger. What does it mean? It is to ask us to be cautious before getting married. This is not only responsible for our future life and life, but also a prudent attitude towards marriage. One more thing, I have always disliked those people who get married and divorced frequently and regard marriage as child's play. There are also some young people who often cheat on celebrities, cheat on each other, and divorce in the name of "love". They think this is cool and they insist on themselves. , in fact, this is just because their attitude towards marriage and life is too frivolous. For example, after a certain actress got divorced last year, she actually created an "independent and strong" persona, which is quite strange. Why can't I look at men well? In the final analysis, I am too dissolute. My suggestion is that young people should stay in love for a longer time and travel together (this seems to be Qian Zhongshu’s experience) to improve understanding. Don’t get married just for the sake of getting married. After getting married, divorce because it is not suitable. The cost and price are too heavy. Suitability is the most important thing. Xuan Yidian said that husband and wife are a combination of the same spirit. It is not unreasonable for the ancients to say that a woman is "strong as a husband". If two people are of the same mind as husband and wife, they can create a lot of incremental benefits. Some couples become rich by loving each other. , that’s the truth. And if the couple is in the same bed and has different dreams, and the couple is not compatible, it is actually consuming each other's existing interests. Think about it, can this be beneficial? You must know that the relationship between husband and wife is the most important relationship and the foundation of family happiness. For a couple, no matter the relationship between father and son or mother and daughter, it is not as good as the relationship between husband and wife. In the so-called conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the first person responsible is always the man. question. If the relationship between husband and wife is not the first relationship, it is empty talk that the family can be happy and harmonious. The core of a happy marriage is here. When the world and life of two people are well arranged, other relationships can fall into place. Wise old people also understand this. For example, I saw a father say to his daughter, he will not treat you well in the future. Don't tell me, because sooner or later you will forgive him and I won't. As it turns out, once a child gets married, he is an independent individual with his own destiny. Therefore, Munger said that what his children look like has nothing to do with him. Ren Zhengfei also has the same attitude. He said that when his children grow up, they should start their own small families and fly by themselves, and their own wings should be strong. "You should turn a blind eye after getting married." In the long years, people who are most familiar and closest to each other will sometimes dislike each other. People are inherently unpredictable and changeable. Don't be too obsessed with love. The so-called love, according to Hazan, a professor at Cornell University in the United States, "Love is stimulated by a 'chemical cocktail' in the brain. These chemicals are dopamine and phenylethylamine... but over time , even people who are most likely to be impulsive towards the opposite sex will develop antibodies to these three chemicals. After two years, their effect will be ineffective. After this period of time, both men and women will either break up or live together peacefully. Love becomes a habit, especially after having children. Even if both parties want to have more children, these three chemicals no longer work. "So, being "confused" in marriage is also an important lesson. I have also heard someone say that he cheated not because he wanted a divorce, nor because he was simply "lustful", but because he was tired of the lifeless ordinary life and he just wanted to find some change. In this regard, we actually need to have a realistic and pragmatic attitude. For example, the star Cai Shaofen has soberly stated that if she encounters an accident, her husband will definitely find another woman, so she asks her husband to take good care of her children before taking a plane. She has repeatedly publicly praised her husband's martial arts skills and other advantages. Isn't this a way to protect the marriage and nip it in the bud? Smart women always know how to protect important things, but really stupid women let their tempers mess around and compete for the moment's morale. In this society, men are under greater pressure and temptation than women, and they are more likely to be forgiven for their mistakes, while women are more likely to cheat. Women chase men, but they are more difficult to be forgiven. In addition, marriage changes between men and women are sometimes uncontrollable, especially for celebrities. You see, recently Gong Li, who is in her fifties, has found a partner in her seventies, Jean-Michel Jarre. The two held hands and spread the dog food in Cannes. But when Gong Li divorced her ex Huang Hexiang, she said, "Marriage is true." It is not a matter of two people. There are many things that no matter how hard the two of us try, we cannot control it..." Regarding marriage, my view is that the connotation of marriage is actually being needed, accompanied and hoped for. After all, if there is no hope in life, who would be willing to work hard.

Life without love and marriage is miserable. Mother Teresa said, "The feeling of loneliness and being unwanted is the most tragic poverty." There is only one true heroism in the world, that is, after recognizing the truth, you still love Life. Charlie Munger said, "Look at the reality realistically, but still love." Why you should be cautious about marriage 2 1. The temptation outside is too great. People will know different people at different times, whether they are married or not. Married. Even those who are married may feel like they are in love when they meet new friends, so at this time, gaps in the marriage relationship slowly develop. The temptations from the outside are getting bigger and bigger. Gradually, the original marriage and family will naturally break up, and the divorce rate will become higher and higher. 2. Slowly discover that each other is not suitable for each other. Before getting married, every couple is cautious and careful. They do not want to get divorced after getting married. After the marriage broke up, their hearts were extremely painful. But as we walked, we found that each other was not the most suitable person for us. So the best solution is to get divorced. They feel extremely regretful if they don't get to the end. No one wants to get divorced after getting married. 3. The contrast between before marriage and after marriage is too big. Before marriage, love partners are generally not too open-minded and will not expose their character flaws too much. But after marriage, two people have to live together all year round and experience a lot of things together. Things will be exposed at this time even if you don't want to be exposed. The other half will gradually discover this flaw, but he finds that he cannot accept it, so the two people did not go through the running-in period, and each was unwilling to bow for the other, so they had no choice but to divorce. To sum up, you need to be cautious when getting married. Why do so many people get married and divorce easily? Because after getting married, I found out that he was not the person I wanted. Also because the temptation of the outside world is too great. Also because the contrast between before marriage and after marriage is too great. That's why marriages break up. Why Marriage Should Be Cautious 3 Marriage is like investment. Investment is temporary, while marriage is lifelong. A temporary investment has success or failure, and a lifetime marriage has length. Keep your eyes open and choose your marriage. When the stock market was very popular some time ago, there was an overwhelming amount of stock investment information. I have a friend who is a novice and has entered the stock market for the first time this year. Everyone in her circle of friends at her workplace takes care of her and recommends various stocks to her, and every time she sends me the stocks that others give her. Help her make a decision and choose some good stocks. But her stocks were really mediocre, and every time I hesitated to recommend them to her, as soon as she saw that others were making money and had good returns, she immediately followed them, and they started to fall. What she didn’t know was that when others gave her the news, the stock had already started to rise, and it had reached a point where others bought it when it was at a low point, and she took over when it was at a high point. This is due to her character. She is impatient and easily affected by other people's emotions. Her love is the same as her romance. She has had two relationships since I met her. Her two relationships were the same as her buying stocks. Others said: "This man is good. He is not bad. You can be with him." Together." With just a few simple words from others, she was really with them. As far as I know, her love is like this. There is no understanding in her love, and some of it is facilitated by others. Just like when she chooses stocks, she will not look at how the company is doing. She will only look at other people's profits. Just like she looks at other people's love, she also wants to It's the same with love, but her love ended in failure. Marriage is a big deal, you should choose carefully and don’t blindly follow the trend. Falling in love is like a short-term investment. If we are not very satisfied with a short-term investment, we can regard it as a failed investment and start over from scratch. But a failed marriage is like a bankrupt investment. It is very difficult to survive a desperate situation with a bankrupt investment. It’s difficult. If you start your marriage all over again, you will be marked as a second marriage. When it comes to investing in marriage, there is no need to rush. You need to have an in-depth understanding, just like you would have an in-depth understanding of a company's financial report, investigate their income, and understand their background and strength. Behind every successful investor, there is a strong team to help with analysis. . The same is true for everyone who gets married. What we want is not a perceptual facilitation analysis partner, but a rational analysis partner. Everyone uses the term "marriage as a lifelong event" to describe marriage. This saying has been around since ancient times. In the first marriages, it was like a venture capital investment company. The matchmaker was the leader, and the relatives and friends at home were the investigators. They would send relatives and friends to their villages to collect information, mainly to collect the reputation of the family. If there is no big problem whether it is good or bad, the marriage will be tied under the witness of the matchmaker. Today's marriage has changed from arranged marriage to free love. It is no longer as cumbersome as before. In the past, there were dealers and customers. Now it is directly from the company to the customer. Without the middleman, there is no need for investigation and research. In the past, arranged marriages The distance between the surrounding neighbors is not too far. Now we are far apart, transcending space and time. Therefore, two people must be more cautious when choosing to be together, and cannot blindly choose to get married. Marriage is happy, marriage is unfortunate. Marriage is a fairy tale when you meet the right person, but it is really a tomb when you meet the wrong person. Marriage is a lifelong event and should be chosen carefully.